Happy Birthday, KP

I.

Beep beep beep beep.

The slender hand emerged from the blanket cocooned lump on the bed, flailing blindly for the evil source of consciousness. Graceful fingers searched the top of the nightstand blindly, knocking over a picture frame, displacing a cell phone, swiping gold earrings into freefall, clenching briefly into a dangerous fist to smash a small clock, before finally locking around a small blue object. The hand, with attached arm, resubmerged into the lump of covers. A dismelodious voice croaked "WHAT. Whadda ya wan'?"

"Kim, Kim, are you all right? Something's wrong with the Kimmunicator, let me see if I can turn up the illumination."

"NO, no ligh', pleeease." The voice moaned.

"Did I miss something? Kim you're not trapped in a box or cell or…."

"No, I'm not trapped. Sleep, need sleep."

"Oh, are you still in bed?"

"For this it takes a genius?"

"No need to get snippy." Wade giggled.

"Wade, if this isn't important I'm going to pull you through this communicator by your ears."

"Is that even possible, even for a Possible? Ok, Ok, don't growl. There's a break in at…"

"You woke me up for a break in? do you know what time I got to sleep last night? "

""Well, no, but…."

"My dad gave us a special no curfew date because Ron was leaving for Yamanuchi this morning and couldn't be here for my birthday! And then that sweetheart insisted we say goodbye here instead of me waiting at the airport for his five AM flight so I could get some sleep and you wake me up after…what time is it anyway…never mind, not near enough, for some break in on my BIRTHDAY? Call the police."

"How can you say all that without taking a breath?"

"grrrrrrr"

"All right, all right, calm down Kim. Special circumstances. This is right here in Middleton. The R&D section of RD Inc. has been penetrated by a single individual. They've done us some favors in the past, and you know they have funneled some research grants my way. Also, if they call the cops, the newsies will hear about it and you know how security conscious RD is."

"Have I got time for a cup of coffee, at least?"

"I'll have your ride bring it."

"Please and thank you."

II.

"Where is he, Wade?"

"Security cameras show him in the second lab on the third floor. I'll shoot you the picture"

The young genius' image was replaced by a grainy shot of a man in dark attire, masked, searching through some files.

"Doesn't look like much. Are you sure he doesn't have any back up?"

"The cameras show only one person. Motion detectors and sensor pads indicate one perp only."

"Then let's get this over with, Ron said he left me a surprise and I haven't had a chance to see it because 'someone' woke me up and rushed me out of the house."

"Geez, you gonna hold that against me how long?"

"Whatever, let's just get this over with."

III.

Kim took one last look at her Kimmunicator's screen to place the thief's position, then placed the device in her cargo pocket. The door crashed against the wall as she leapt through the entrance.

"FREEZE, put the files down and surrender."

The figure at the desk continued flipping pages.

"Are you deaf? I said surrender."

The black clad burglar flipped another folder open.

"I guess you are deaf, dumb too, to do a break in in MY town, on MY birthday." Kim reached for the thief's shoulder. She almost fell when, without looking at her, his shoulder shrugged just enough for her hand to pass. He flipped another page.

Collecting herself, Kim set herself for another shot. Her chop missed when he stood and walked towards the file cabinets, causing her to tap her tummy on the edge of the desk he had been using.

She turned to face him as he calmly replaced the folder in the cabinet and opened another drawer. With his attention on the files he was searching, she couldn't see his eyes, just the masked side of his head. Apparently not finding what he wanted, the thief shut the drawer and turned to walk across the room to another set of cabinets.

This time Kim knew she couldn't miss as she launched a flying kick at the stranger's broad back. She missed. She turned her leap into a roll to keep from crashing into the floor. He turned to inspect an open file on a worktable.

Kim's face was beginning to match her hair. Lack of sleep and annoyance caused her temper to match her hair. Picking herself up she watched as the thief snatched a folder out of a drawer with a triumphant air. She rushed him, only to slam into the file cabinet when he turned aside. Gasping for air she turned to see the stranger place the file on a desk, after removing a disc from it. He sat in a chair, reached down, and placed the disc in a zippered pocket on his leg. Finally, he looked at her.

Baby blue eyes inspected her from head to foot and back. A laughing voice spoke, "and you are?"

"Kim Possible and you are under arrest."

"Really. By what authority?"

"Ahhh….uh…Global Justice, I'm an associate member."

"Well, I don't think you have jurisdiction, but show me some ID."

Kim was becoming flustered and infuriated. No villain had ever ignored or questioned her before, especially with laughing eyes that hinted at a guffaw about to break out. She reached in her empty? pocket.

"I, I don't have my ID with me."

"Well, then, I suppose you want me to sit here and wait while you go home and get them?" The snicker was almost audible.

"You…you…I WILL NOT BE LAUGHED AT ON MY BIRTHDAY!" Kim reached for him.

This time she had his attention. He grasped her wrist, pulling her forward over his lap and twisting her arm behind her back. He reached over her to grasp her flailing right arm, pulling it behind her back also, holding both her wrists captive in his left hand.

Kim was humiliated. Her breath gasped out when she landed on his hard thighs. Her arms held immobile. She began kicking her legs trying to get leverage. Her captor shifted her so that her head hung almost to the floor with her bare belly on his lap and her bottom in the air.

"How old did you say you were?"

Still struggling, Kim gasped "I didn't, not that it's any of your business."

The stranger shook and clenched her wrists in warning.

"I don't know why you want to know, but I'm seventeen, all right?" Kim was nervous but not frightened. He hadn't tried to hurt her, at least not yet.

"Seventeen, huh, seventeen." The dark clad man laid his (to Kim) suddenly huge right hand on her bottom.

"You wouldn't dare!" Kim screeched, "Nobody spanks me, nobody!"

"Well, then I'd say you're about due, wouldn't you?" He was laughing quietly now.

"You…no…you can't…" Kim's beginning rant snapped to a halt, her head jerking up, eyes popping wide, as she felt and heard a loud SMACK.

"That's one."

Kim's could only scream in inarticulate rage.

"But, really, too much padding."

Kim eyes opened even wider, her jaw dropping as she felt two thick fingers latch into the waist of her cargoes, easing them down to her thighs.

"Now, that's better." The hand descended on her panty clad rump. "Two."

Kim struggling frantically, but his only answer was to snake his right leg out from under her and over her thighs pinning her into an even more immobile target.

Smack, "Three." Twisting wildly on his lap, Kim couldn't do anything except give out a wordless scream of wrath.

Although her bottom was warm and stinging by the seventh spank, Kim realized that she was not really being hurt. She just wished he would hurry. This pausing between spanks was causing her some unrecognized reactions. At least he wasn't stroking her.

"And one to grow on." Smack. This time the big hand stayed, soothing her poor, inflamed, booty with soft, circular strokes.

Kim had refused to cry, but she was definitely sniffling. For some reason, she also had to keep a moan back.

The same two strong fingers pulled her cargoes back into place. She felt some kind of band placed on her joined wrists. He shifted his grasp to her shoulders and picked her up, turning her so that she was standing in front of him.

"Happy Birthday, Miss Possible, and many more to come. Now, if you'll just sit, oops," the blue eyes laughed at her in an almost companionable sharing of a joke, "well, if you'll just stand here for a few minutes I'll be gone. You should be able to remove that restraint by then, and you can go enjoy your day."

"I won't forget this," Kim glared, "I'm coming after you and when I find you…"

"Well, we'll face that when it comes. Ta ta." He strolled out the door and away.

IV.

"I'm sorry, sir," Kim apologized to the RD official, "the thief got away with a computer disc. I promise you, though, I will get it back."

"Let's find out what exactly is missing first, shall we, Miss Possible."

One of the researchers reviewing the files approached them. "Uh, Boss, this is a little strange."

"Why, what all is missing."

The tech rubbed his neck in embarrassment, "The only thing we can find missing is my disc of screensavers. They were very nice, but why steal them? They're not expensive."

Momentarily stunned, Kim exploded, "He was playing us, me, whatever. When I find that joker…." She stormed off.

V.

On a west bound plane……

"Wade, did you get all of it?'

"Just like you wanted, Ron, three camera angles, rear, top, and frontal. Then I blanked my screen. I downloaded direct to disc, one copy only, just for you."

"Wade, you rock."

"Thanks, but you know if she ever finds out…."

"Don't worry about it," Ron interrupted airily, "I'm going to tell her myself."

Wade choked on his soda and fell out of the screen. When he reemerged he gasped, "Are you suicidal!"

"Nooo, but I figure by our fortieth anniversary, when she finally sees it, she'll have slowed down enough I can get away."

"I wouldn't count on it." Wade laughed.

"I wouldn't either," Ron grinned, "Bye, Wade."