Hey guys,

PLEASE NOTE – I've replaced the old chapter with this 'cleaner' version and put the rating back to T. If you want the old steamier version, please PM WITH your email address so I can send it to you.

Sorry about the stuffing around; I didn't think about things properly when I posted. I apologise greatly!

13.

Scully hung the receiver back into its cradle, resting her fingertips on its smooth surface for a few minutes as she contemplated Alice's call. The social worker wasn't entirely convinced by Amber Logan's motives for wanting the children, Scully decided, but was too professional to say it out loud.

As it was, Amber was insisting on meeting with her niece and nephew tomorrow, and Alice was suggesting that it was probably the best call to let Amber have her way and see how she interacted with the children.

Scully sighed and lifted a hand to rub tiredly at her forehead, as though the motion of her fingers could rub away the whisper of a headache starting there.

"You okay, Dana?" her mother asked quietly behind her.

Scully smiled tiredly and turned around to look at the older woman. "Alice thinks it would be a good idea if we let Amber see the children tomorrow."

"What did you say?" Maggie asked.

"I agreed. If we refuse to let Amber see the children, and she creates a fuss, it could result in the children being taken from us before we even start looking at the adoption formally," Scully explained. "Alice agreed," she added as an afterthought.

"Did you want her to meet you here?" Maggie offered.

Scully shook her head. "No, I'd rather not intrude like that, Mom."

"The children are comfortable here, Dana, and I don't mind."

"I was thinking the park," Scully admitted. "Or somewhere that Jacob is free to run around and play without having to listen to our conversation."

Maggie nodded thoughtfully. "That's a good idea," she agreed. "Weather forecast looks good, despite the snowfall. They're hoping most of it will melt by mid-morning. It's just going to be very muddy in a park, Dana."

Scully smiled. "I guess this in my introduction to mess and dirt. I just need to check with Mulder, and then I'll call Alice back to confirm."

Mulder didn't answer either his cell, or his landline. Pursing her lips with a touch of concern, Scully decided to wait a few minutes and try again. The third time she called and failed to receive an answer sparked the little niggle of worry already wriggling beneath her breastbone into a flame that licked eagerly at her imagination, tempting her with a thousand and one images of Mulder in trouble.

"I'm sure he's fine, Dana," her mother said as Scully determined buttoned up her coat and collected her purse and keys.

"You're probably right, Mom," Scully agreed. But she'd worked in a dangerous environment for too long to just sit back and accept that everything was fine. Mulder was Mulder, and Mulder managed to attract trouble everywhere that he went, regardless of how innocent his intentions. Besides, Mulder had a bad habit of running off without telling her that he was going, let alone where he was going.

But he's married now, Dana, a little voice said inside her.

So? she thought back in response. It's only a formality. It's not likely to change him at all.

Irritated at herself for trying to drag marriage into it (after all, the marriage wasn't a real marriage and she had no real rights over Mulder), Scully pulled up in front of Mulder's apartment a lot sooner than she should have, had she obeyed the speed limit.

The ride in the elevator seemed to take forever, and she almost flew down the hallway to his door.

"Mulder?" she called, banging on the door. "Are you there? Mulder!"

There was absolutely no response from inside his apartment. A cold, hard feeling started to solidify inside Scully's gut, and she hated herself for the tremble in her fingers when she frantically searched her key ring for the spare key to Mulder's apartment.

"Mulder?" she called again, her voice almost too quiet as she stepped into his apartment.

The room was in absolute shambles; furniture and paperwork and clothing scattered carelessly with no sign of organization or thought.

Had he been robbed? A break in? The thoughts tumbled around her mind, and habitually her hand moved to her hip where she normally holstered her side arm.

Normally. These days, however, Scully was pretending to be a stay-at-home mom and there was no handy weapon attached to her belt. Cursing herself for not trusting her instincts and picking up her service weapon from the gun-safe at her mother's house before she left, she picked up a golf club – Mulder had golf clubs! – that was lying conveniently near the door and made her way carefully through his destroyed living room.

Was that a rustle of noise coming from his room?

Frowning, Scully gripped her makeshift weapon tighter and lifted it, mimicking a batsman on the baseball pitch.

Yes, definitely noise from the bedroom.

"Mulder?" she called out, adrenalin pumping. Her footsteps were barely audible as she crept toward the room in question, the club digging into her fingers where she gripped it too tightly.

There was no response from the bedroom, and she licked her lips as she positioned herself against the wall next to the door.

"Mulder?" she tried again, her voice barely more than a croak.

The door swung open quickly, and a large body stepped through. Scully start to swing hard, changing her course at the last minute when Mulder flinched backward in time to avoid her adjusted strike.

He had his hands on the club and had it yanked out of her hands before she could think, spinning her around pinning her against the wall before she had time to talk. "Jesus, Scully!" he gasped, dropping his face to her shoulder and relaxing his grip on her so that the pain subsided and she felt she could talk again. "Jesus," he repeated.

Her heart was racing in her chest; she knew from experience Mulder's reflexes were fast but he'd never used them against her before. Being on the receiving end of his speed was nerve-racking, especially considering her own fighting skills.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, not moving away from her.

Pressed tightly between the wall at her front and him at her back, Scully twisted her head to try and see him, but his forehead was still resting on her shoulder and all she could see was his dark hair and the tanned skin of his forehead.

"You weren't answering your phone," she whispered, closing her eyes and trying to still her heart beat. "Or your cell phone," she added, a slight accusation coloring her words.

"I didn't hear them ring," he said simply.

"I rang a few times," Scully said tightly.

He stepped away from her, and her back felt oddly cold and exposed without his body pressed against it.

"Is it a crime not to answer my phone?" he asked directly, trying to hide the irritation in his eyes.

"I had to talk to you," Scully said, ignoring his sharp question. "Alice called about meeting Amber Logan. She wants us to do it tomorrow."

Mulder, to her annoyance, didn't seem to be paying attention. As soon as she'd started talking he'd dropped to his knees and started crawling around on the floor.

"Mulder, are you listening to me?" she demanded sharply.

"Of course I'm listening, Scully," Mulder said, his voice muffled as he stuck his head under his desk. "What time?"

"Afternoon some time, I have to call Alice back," Scully said, trying to work out what he was doing. And what, she thought with irritation, had happened to his apartment. "What are you doing? And what happened?"

"The reason I didn't hear you call," Mulder said proudly, wriggling out from under the desk with a cord in his fingers, "is because I unplugged my lines when I disconnected my computer, and I must have forgotten to put them back in. Cell's probably lying somewhere under all of this," he added expansively, waving around at the mess in the living room. "And then I had a shower because I was dirty, but I thought I heard knocking so I got out."

Scully stared at the mess doubtfully. "What are you doing?"

He looked slightly wounded. "Packing, Scully."

Oh God, if this was packing she didn't want to see unpacking.

"You call this packing?" she asked him incredulously.

He frowned at her. "I'm getting rid of what I don't want or need anymore. It's called sorting out," he explained.

"Have you packed anything yet, or just practiced throwing it all out?" she asked dryly.

He huffed in frustration and struggled to his feet, still gripping the damn phone line. "What is your problem, Scully?" he wanted to know.

"What problem?"

"You've been snapping at me for… God, since we got married. Do you regret it already?"

Her mouth opened, but she found she couldn't respond. Regret about marrying him was one of the last emotions she felt, but what she did feel she couldn't tell him.

She had been terrified when he hadn't answered the door and she'd called for him. Almost desperate with fear when she'd entered and seen the state of his apartment. He had no idea how scared she'd been that something had happened to him.

Then tell him, that little voice said inside her.

"We can get an annulment if you want," Mulder said dully, dropping the phone line and turning away from her to do something – she wasn't sure what – on his desk.

"Is that what you want?" she asked. She didn't mean for it to sound so snappish and accusatory, but the words and tone were out before she could stop them.

"If you're going to keep snapping at me, then yes," he said harshly. "I preferred it when we were friends and you could talk without feeling the need to snap at me."

Preferred it when we were friends.

Well. At least now she knew for certain where she stood.

Scully closed her eyes, grateful that he was turned away from her so he couldn't see her fighting to regain her control. Maybe, she realized, that would be the best. If there was no chance of him ever loving her, even if they were married, then maybe it was best that they weren't married and stayed friends.

Friends was better than nothing, she tried to console herself, and opened her eyes.

He was watching her curiously, silent.

"Probably just as well we're seeing Amber tomorrow," Scully said quietly. "There's no point in holding onto the children if she wants them."

A look of confusion and panic brushed over his face. "You're giving up on the children?" he demanded. "I never took you for a quitter, Scully."

She smiled tiredly. "If we're not married, Mulder, I won't get the children if Amber contests. You know that, and I know that. The marriage was the only thing giving us a chance over her."

"But…" he stuttered.

"I'm sorry, Mulder," she said.

"We're not annulled yet," he said almost desperately.

She looked at him. "It's not working, Mulder. It's made things worse. I don't want to lose your friendship."

"You won't," he said firmly, staring at her, trying to convince her with his eyes that he was right. "It's just a rough patch. We'll get through it, and have our family."

Our family. The words rang strangely hollow and empty inside Scully. No matter how much she loved and wanted the children, and how much she loved and wanted Mulder, it would always be bitter and empty after this.

"You want to keep going?"

He nodded. "We can't lose the children, Scully."

She was surprised at his intensity of emotion toward the children already, but then Mulder had always been passionate and quick to give everything to a cause. There was also the use of the word 'we' which subtly told her that despite the arguments and anger, there was still a friendship there. He still considered her a part of the team.

But he preferred friends.

For the children, she thought. "If we break, Mulder, it won't be fair to the children."

"Why do you think we won't last?" he asked finally.

"We're cracking already. Is it really fair to them?"

"We can't be cracking," Mulder pointed out. "There's nothing to crack, so how could we be cracking?"

If anything, his words shattered the last flimsy hope she'd been allowing herself to cling too.

"I'll call Alice and let her know we'll see Amber tomorrow," Scully said quietly, surprised at how calm her voice was. "Is two o'clock okay with you?"

"Better make it three, Skinner is bringing some agents tomorrow morning to interview Jacob and I'm not sure how long it will take."

His words, so casually dropped, were the final straw.

"Damn you, Mulder," she hissed at him, her control slipping out of her fingers like silk on the breeze. "How can you say there isn't anything to crack, and then do you something like this?"

"Like what?" he wanted to know.

"You didn't even have the decency to arrange it with me. You just made the arrangements and assumed I'd fall in with them. That's not how a marriage works!"

"And just how does a normal marriage work, Scully?" Mulder demanded, his own temper obviously stretched just as thin as his own. "Husband and wife talk to each other and make plans? Yes, I agree, that's how it works. But we're not a normal marriage. We're not even a real marriage. I'm doing my best here, Scully, but you can't seem to accept that. Are you sure you made the right call, asking me to marry you!"

"No," Scully said quietly. "I think it was the biggest mistake of my life if this is how we're going to be from now on. Nothing is worth this, not even the children. Alice was right, unless this is a real marriage there's no way it would work."

He'd propelled her back against the wall before she'd even finished speaking, his breath hot against her face as he looked down at her. "Then we'll damn well make this a real marriage," he breathed before crushing his lips against hers.

She struggled against him – his fingers were digging into her shoulders and his lips were bruising hers.

"Mulder," she tried to say as she attempted to push him off, but it only served to part her lips and allowed him to push his tongue past the barrier and into her mouth.

She struggled against him more, trying to pull her mouth from his, but the insistent stroking of his tongue and movement of his lips was doing something to her that she hadn't felt in a long time.

She tried to say his name again, horrified when it came out a moan. Instead of fighting his actions, she was responding to them. When had her tongue started twisting against his, and when had her hands stopped fighting him and started gripping his shirt, pulling him closer and closer?

Tasting her change in attitude toward his invasion, Mulder slipped one hand from her shoulder and wrapped it around her waist, tugging her closer. She moaned, feeling his hard heat pressing against her stomach, her own arousal flaring in response.

He pressed her closer against the wall, pulling his lips from hers and kissing a wet path down her neck until he nipped lightly at the elegant slope of her shoulder. "Scully," he breathed.

Scully moaned again and gave in to his assault.

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Again, I'm SO SORRY about this… please PM your email if you want the other version! And thanks for all the reviews too – I appreciated them!

Silf