The Maito Gai Fanfiction Series
(Pilot/Episode 01) depending on readers like you.
By PikaFlash
Disclaimers: As usual, all characters, scenes, songs, ideas and famous speeches belong to their respective owners.
What Pre-Readers say about this fanfic:
"Am I missing something here?" - Pre-Reader A
"Can you give me the money you owe me for pre-reading this fanfic?" - Pre-Reader B
"What were the lottery numbers again?" - Pre-Reader C
Summary: Felt that the Anime has too many fillers? Wish there were more laughs from Gai? A chance that there could be car chases in the Dub? Well, this fanfic is good for you and you can read it during any dubbed episode. (You know what, that's how we want you to read this fanfic.) Though it doesn't have any car chases in it though. I don't even know why I brought it up in the first place.
Gai's Game Show Segment
Neji, Lee and Tenten were holding buzzers with Gai holding the question cards.
"Welcome to Maito Gai's Game Show Segment! My contestants today are the best students I have ever taught! Hope you all win!"
Gai shows the first question. "Who am I? I suffered a head injury in an accident and lost my memory. I've been wondering the streets for the last few hours, disoriented and confused. I have no idea who I am. If you can identify me, please contact ANBU immediately."
Gai looked up. "Hope it won't happen to any of you."
Gai walked up to his house. Before getting into the door, he removed his sandals and placed the sandals at the entrance and walked in.
"Oh, before I forget."
Gai took out a remote with a set of keys and pressed a button. The sandals had a red flash followed by a couple of beeps.
As soon as Gai entered his house, Kakashi arrived at the front door to steal Gai's sandals. As soon as Kakashi placed his hand on Gai's sandals, the sandals gave off a loud alarm, scaring Kakashi off.
Gai's Game Show Segment
Lee slams on a buzzer a little bit too hard, destroying it.
"The answer is a Pikachu!" answered Lee.
"Well done, Lee! You win!" said Gai.
A bell rings.
"Oh no!" Gai screamed. "All of you get out before the fire spreads!"
The three contestants gave a confused look at Gai and looked around. There is no fire on the set.
Gai looked down in embarassment. "Sorry, thought it was a fire."
Naruto was waiting for his ramen when waitress Tenten appeared with a green bodysuit.
"Excuse me sir, did you order a green medium-sized Maito-Brand bodysuit?" asked the waitress.
Naruto shakes his head. "No, I ordered for my usual ramen. Where is it?"
"Lee! Your new green medium-sized Maito-Brand bodysuit is finally here!" said Gai as he opened a box and took out a bowl of ramen and gave the ramen to a confused Lee.
An Important Announcement
Naruto was walking to his usual spot at the ramen shop when he meets up with Gai.
"I have some bad news, Naruto," said Gai. "The world has run out of ramen."
Naruto was shocked. "What! How did that happen?"
"All of the ramen have been eaten to extinction by a pack of Pikachus," Gai explained.
"I knew we should have listened to those Digimons!" cried Naruto, knowing that he will never see another bowl of Ramen again...
Do not suffer the same heartbreak like young Uzumaki Naruto.Eat Pikachus.
Neji and Tenten were having a drink.
"It was fun that you decided to get me the PS2 for my Birthday. I've been playing 'Narultimate Hero 2' all night and
I've unlocked all the characters."
Neji was slowly pushed to a corner as Tenten continue to ramble.
"And the best character I've played is the one who can summon weapons from scrolls. You should play it too. There's a character in the game who fights just like you do..."
A few minutes later
"And did I mention that I played Dynasty Warriors and Samurai Warriors? If I didn't, then maybe..."
Neji sees a fish tank and points over Tenten's shoulder. "Is that Gai-Sensei over there?"
Tenten looked away. "No, that's Naruto in Sensei's bodysuit." Neji quickly opens the fish tank and pressed a red button.
Outside, Kakashi suddenly recieves a message. Looks like Kakashi to the rescue.
At that instant, Neji spots Kakashi behind Tenten, awkwardly close to Tenten.
"My favourite move is..." Tenten stopped and spots Kakashi sniffing her left shoulder.
"What are you doing?" asked Tenten.
Kakashi looked at Tenten and smiled. "Oh, just sniffing your lovely shoulders."
That gave Tenten a very awkward feeling. "I think I'd go now," said Tenten, leaving Neji with Kakashi.
"Thank you, Kakashi-sensei," said Neji.
Kakashi sniffed both of Neji's shoulders, giving Neji the same awkward feeling Tenten had.
"I think I'd better go now too."
Lee, Neji, Naruto, Shikamaru, Chouji, Kiba and Shino were in a classroom when Tsunade walked in.
"Gentlemen, welcome to the Manditory Training Course, called 'How to Treat Women Well'..."
Neji was surprised. "Wait a minute. Tenten told me that this was meant to be a self-improving course."
Naruto was also confused. "Huh? I thought Hinata told me that this is a course on 'How to become a Hokage'?"
"Shizune, plan B!" yelled Tsunade.
Shizune entered the classroom and locked the only door out.
"You will learn how to treat women well or I will crush you like this chalk," warned Tsunade as she easily crushed the chalk she was holding into powder. That gave the males in the room a good reason not to protest.
Tsunade writes on the blackboard. "Now, starting with shopping..."
Sakura, Gai, Lee, Neji and Tenten were doing surgery on a paitent (Naruto) when Gai suddenly recieves a message.
"Look, sorry but I'm afraid that I have to go," said Gai.
"Why?" asked Sakura.
"I just remembered that I have to go and challenge Kakashi to another match and I don't want to be late," explained Gai. "Sorry, but you have been doing a great job."
Gai leaves the operating room. Sakura wasn't pleased on the loss of Gai. "It's like he's married to Kakashi-sensei." Sakura pulls off the life support mask, causing Naruto struggle for his life before the heart rate reaches the flatline.
Gai, Lee, Tenten and Neji were hiding in some bushes. Lee looked over a distance and sees something suspicious. "There's something out there. What is it, Neji?"
Neji used his Byakugan ability to get a better look at the object. "It's a signpost."
"Aha! I found it first!" exclaimed Lee. "I knew it was a signpost."
"Damn, how did you get to good at this game?" asked Tenten.
Tenten spots a fox running into a cave. "I saw a fox! Two more points and I'll win."
"What's my score?" asked Gai.
Neji looked at a scorecard. "Zero."
"Really? What am I looking for?"
"A racoon," replied Neji.
"That's quite hard to find," said Gai. "But I will not lose to Kakashi's team at this game of 'I Spy'!"
Naruto was in the Laundromat as he takes out his clean clothes from the dryer. Then, he notices something missing in the dryer.
"No!" screamed Naruto. "My forehead protector is missing!"
Every year, thousands of forehead protectors go missing.
Naruto was sticking up 'Missing forehead protector' signs all around Konoha.
"That's where the Lost Forehead Protector Home comes in, where we help find lost forehead protectors."
Lee leads Naruto through a row of cages, with various lost forehead protector from different villages in each cage and Naruto finally finds the forehead protector given to him by his sensei. Naruto hugs the forehead protector as if it was a lost pet.
"This forehead protector is lucky. Some...unfortunately, aren't so lucky."
Tenten sadly pats a Hidden Sand forehead protector. Knowing that the job must be done, Tenten takes out a sword and stabs the forehead protector, putting it to 'sleep'.
The Lost Forehead Protectors Home
'The Lost Forehead Protectors Home, please make donations to Maito Gai. Money, not forehead protectors. Heck, we have tons of those already!'
Gai, Lee, Neji, Tenten were having dinner at the newest restaurant that has been introduced to Konoha, McAnimes. Gai looks at the bill.
"Alright, here's the deal. I've been calculating on how to pay it. And the result is that each of us have to fork up 10000 Yen and that's leaving a very generous tip."
Tenten raised her hand. "But I didn't have desert and Lee took mine."
"Yeah, shouldn't Lee fork out most of the cash?" said Neji. "He had eaten the most."
"But Gai-Sensei," said Lee. "You also have eaten as much as me."
Gai quickly stopped the argument. "Alright, alright! I'll handle it. Hey, waitress!"
Waitress Sakura walked to the table. "Ok, are you ready to pay the bill?" asked Sakura.
"Ahem...is it possible to split the bill?" asked Gai.
Sakura looks at the bill. "I'm sorry, but I can't do that."
"Alright, then, get your manager, Kakashi. Tell him to come here and we'll settle it."
Sakura walks off to get Kakashi. Gai looked left and right. "Alright, my students, let's leg it!"
Everyone ran off. Sakura returned to the table.
"Damn it!" cursed Sakura before smashing the table.
Gai, Tenten and Lee were setting up their next strategy against Team Kakashi.
"Now, when Neji attacks from center, Tenten will attack from the left and Lee will attack from the right. That way, we'll definitely win this round."
Suddenly, Neji appeared in a red Santa suit.
"Neji! I said 'Center'! Not 'Santa'!"
Gai was sitting on a chair.
"This next one is not one of those 'Neji and Tenten sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G'...it's just Neji and Tenten in a bank trying to cash a check."
At a bank, Neji has finished a transaction with a customer.
"Next."
Tenten walks to the counter.
"Can I help you?" asked Neji.
The camera does a close up on Tenten.
"Yes, can you cash in this check by today? I'm in a bit of a bind."
Neji looks at the check. "Today? That could be a problem," said Neji.
"I know, but if I don't cash in this cheque today..."
The camera faces Tenten from behind.
"...my electricity will be cut off," explained Tenten.
"And you do not have any other funds to draw from," said Neji.
The camera does a close up on Tenten's face.
"Yes, my other accounts are empty. But you do reconise me."
The camera faces Tenten from behind again.
"I do have some Identification if you want..."
"Excuse me, but are you a ventriloquist?" asked Neji.
The camera views Tenten's confused look.
"What do you mean?" asked Tenten.
"Not now, but I just saw you talk out of sync earlier," said Neji.
The camera changes view to Tenten from behind. She's not pleased with the service.
"Look, are you going to cash this check or not? Otherwise my electricity will be cut off and..."
Neji points at Tenten. "There, you did it again."
The camera does a close up on Tenten's face.
"Did what again?" asked a confused Tenten.
"Ok, say what you said earlier, but the camera must not do a close up on your face."
The camera faces Tenten from behind again.
"Are you going to cash this check or not? Otherwise I'll be happy to take my business elsewhere," said Tenten.
Neji makes the connection. "I get it, you're being dubbed."
The camera does a close up on Tenten's face.
"What do you mean?" asked Tenten.
Neji points at the camera behind Tenten. "Alright, look at the camera behind you and say what you said earlier."
Tenten turns around and looks at the camera that was behind her.
"Are you going to cash this check in or not..."
Tenten stopped and realised that her words were out of sync with her mouth.
"You're right," said Tenten. "Someone is dubbing me."