Illusive Smile
Kurogane liked Fye best when he didn't smile, because during those brief moments Fye slipped out of character and allowed his eyes to speak for themselves.
AN: Kurogane and Fye is a pairing I'm neutral to (don't love it, don't hate it) but I do admit that Fye's personality intrigues me. Not the most original idea, but one that I've put quite a bit of thought to. It is possible to see the hints of how things "might have been" if you interpret things the right way.
To my beloved (prey) mi-chan (aka Starstruck272) because you were the person who started my creative ball rolling and now fanfic is all I'm writing. Happy birthday, my dear!
(forgive me for the strangeness; too many deadlines coming up. Stress is bad. Baaaaaaad)
Tsubasa Chronicles belongs to CLAMP.
Sometimes Kurogane thought back at how Princess Tomoyo cheerily sent him on this mad-hatter quest through the universe, and wondered if he could bend his vows of loyalty towards the heads of Japan enough to throttle her when he finally came back. Knowing his Princess, however, she would give him her deepest, most soul grazing look, then laugh merrily and spirit him off on the winds before he could get close enough to wretch revenge upon her.
He wouldn't be able to carry it through, of course. His loyalty and life belonged to Princess Tomoyo, and his innate tendency to follow her word to the very letter didn't fade just because he was in was in an alternate universe. Kurogane's life consisted of fighting, his only goal to grow stronger, to push himself to the limits of a warrior, and he fought for the honor of one person.
Only for Princess Tomoyo.
Still, it didn't stop Kurogane from fantasizing sometimes.
He had been subjected to the indignity of several intolerable circumstances. First off all, he was forced to trade his beloved Ginryu, his battle sword, for a white meat bun stuffed toy that flitted – rather unreliably, in Kurogane's opinion – from world to world in search of those blasted feathers. Coupled with a strange motley of travel companions and perhaps a one in a million chance of flicking back into his home world, Kurogane was understandably bitter.
Strangely enough, Kurogane wasn't bitter at all. He had reasons enough – his entire life stripped away from him, a powerful curse that leeched away his power whenever he killed and the responsibility, as the strongest member in their travel band, of protecting the vulnerable Sakura and the strong willed but inexperienced Syaoran. One could argue that it was self preservation, done out of self interest; Kurogane needed Mokona to return home, who worked under Syaoran's agenda, and a larger party always ensured greater safety. Even so, Kurogane wasn't bitter – irritated, and overly tried, perhaps, but never bitter.
Could it be because Kurogane had found others – other than his precious princess – that he could protect and understand?
Kurogane could understand Syaoran and his deep devotion to his Sakura-hime; it was, after all, something like his and Tomoyo's relationship except Syaoran undoubtedly harbored deeper feelings for Sakura. So he took the tentative role as mentor, setting a rigid regime for the boy, allowing no mercy because the world was an unfair place and false illusions about chivalry and fair fighting only got one killed in a battle.
It was the fourth member of their group that ruffled Kurogane's rather unruffleable onyx feathers the most.
Fye, the enigmatic wizard who refused to use his magic and whose wish was the exact opposite of Kurogane's. They were the adults in their group of four and one meat bun, but more often than not Fye acted like a sugar high twelve year old with a wicked disposition for the mischievous.
They were polar opposites, the two of them; magic against pure battle skills, Fye's frivolous chatter against Kurogane's more sarcastic words and their very, very different outlooks on life. Life for Kurogane was black on black, the rigid world of a ninja whose world consisted of battling, blood and death. Fye, on the other hand, took the phrase "live life and be happy!" to the extreme. He chanted a string of "Kuro-tan, Kuro-pin, Kuro-sama" like a strange litany against evil and that irresistible fox grin never failed to make its debut.
Kurogane hated that grin, a smile that touched Fye's eyes but often not his heart.
Kurogane came from a world where most things were clear cut and straightforward; he killed for the Princess and the country. He lived by a very simple principle; defeat his enemies and grow stronger to protect Princes Tomoyo. Very little else mattered to him.
The dark ninja wasn't cut out for human contact; the only people he interacted with on a regular basis were Tomoyo and Souma. He and Souma maintained a tentative truce, bound by their allegiance to the Princess, and perhaps there 2ithin was the potential for friendship.
Sometimes it was amazing how Kurogane, such a solitary man by nature, managed to tolerate the very enthusiastic Fye, who had a knack for crowding people's personal space and overwhelming them with his overly positive personality.
In the end it didn't matter because they might be polar opposites out the outside but deep inside, Fye wasn't very different from Kurogane. Kurogane just hid it better because Fye's smiles were perpetual and so perfectly realistic that the moment they faded in intensity – even just a little – it was easy for someone as perceptive as Kurogane to detect the slip and see those easy smiles for what they were: flawlessly genuine masks that almost managed to trick Fye himself into believing that everything was flowery and fine.
No, Kurogane liked Fye best when he didn't smile, because during those brief moments Fye slipped out of character and allowed his eyes to speak for themselves. It was striking how much a smile could change a person; the Fye of the sharp hooded eyes was a more sinister character, and hints of the immense crackling power he possessed flashed through his voice. Dark liquid memories, that was what Fye's eyes were; all the wisdom and experience of his years and trials were compressed into that brief space, cunning camouflaged with the dancing sparkles of a grin.
Fye didn't strike Kurogane as a man who would yield to death so easily, which was why Kurogane told him that he hated those who gave up their lives before all hope was gone. Anyone, in Kurogane's opinion, who managed to deceive others that beautifully crafted mask, had no right to lie cynically on a pile of rumble patiently awaiting a death blow. Fye was a professional, and all masters of their respective crafts took things to the very end. Kurogane understood the need to hide one's true nature, but he won't accept a half-hearted act that dissolved every time there was a chance Fye's wish might be fulfilled… whatever it was.
As the days went by and one by one, the feathers were returned to their rightful owner, Kurogane actually found himself enjoying his time with the too enigmatic mage. Strangely enough, it was when Fye wasn't imposing his buoyant pranks on Kurogane that he felt closest to the man. Over the past few days, Fye had begun to drop his shields, and Kurogane could almost feel the oppressive air of foreboding that swirled around the blonde and the half-dead look in his eyes whenever Fye spoke brieftly – briefly- of his past. He was surprised that the mage had chosen him, of all people to reveal his vulnerability to.
So Fye came up to him after the race finals in Piffle world and this time his smile was illusive, a tat darker than usual and his eyes glinting black humor. Kurogane had growled his customary complain that died away the moment Fye's eyes came alive and he had simply said "so I was a little worried." Kurogane was powerless to snip back when Fye was this serious, especially when he saw how much Fye gave away each time he let the rainbow smile drop.
Because Fye, like Kurogane, understood what it was like to die a hundred times over, not necessarily from a mortal wound but from choking fear or the dogs of a black past snapping at one's heels. Giving away too much of one's soul – granting the other side the power to one's emotions – was a deadly act indeed.
So although Kurogane put up a token resistance, he still allowed Fye to drag him to the medic room, where the blonde would undoubtedly strike up a huge fuss and insist he have his hand wound well bound up and disinfected. But it was alright, because even though the silly, floppy smile was still present, Fye's eyes were bright and alive as well. Worry, intrigue, mute mischievousness and most of all, empathy, the knowledge that here is someone else who lived through the hardships I have stood out, carefully hidden but present for those who had the eyes to see.
You can smile, you can be happy… but you can also show us that you're scared, and that's alright, because you're only human, for all that you're a powerful wizard and it's alright for me too, because even though you annoy me to hell and back, we're cut from the same bolt of cloth, you and I.
The days ticked by and they collected Sakura's feathers and little by little Fye's perfect smile was becoming diluted. In the end, Fye too harbored a soul tainted by too many memories and the hints of his power, merely wrapped up in snazzy, sparkly paper and ribbons. As the layers peeled off, Kurogane found himself humming approval at the baser, more solid version of the mage revealed.
Hitsuzen. Kurogane wasn't a very mythic person but perhaps the time dimension witch's words were beginning to make sense. Perhaps there was a legitimate reason why they happened to be in the same place at the same time and signed on to fulfill their wishes together, because Destiny was a strong-headed child and she wasn't going to let living in different worlds separate two unique individuals who were fated meet and complement each other.
Perhaps when the ninja got back to Japan, he'll thank his princess instead of throttling her. Maybe.
End
Please give feedback; I'm not as familiar with the TRC characters as I am with other CLAMP-works, so I really want to know what you think of this fic!