Title: Time Worthwhile
Author: Camilla Sandman
Date written: December 1999/April 2000
E-mail addy: Frank/Rachel romance, sequel to "Crossing the Abyss"
Timeframe: Alternate season 4, with Jack dead instead of Rachel and Frank has returned
Disclaimer: Hal & co. owns Frank and Rachel, but no one owns Norway nor its people
Time Waits For No One – the lyrics are by Cliff Friend. The poem at the end is from Ulysses by Tennyson.

Author's Note: This pretty much picks up from Crossing the Abyss… so for those who don't remember, here's a brief summary: Jack's dead, not Rachel, and Frank has come back. They're both a bit uneasy around each other at first… And then they get sent to Norway, where they start a romantic relationship, and deals with the aftermath of Jack's death. They meet a Norwegian detective by the name of Vegard Hansen, who makes a play for Frank.. and finally they are almost killed in an arson.
Everyone remembers now? Goodo. So, now they're in Norway.. and the holidays are approaching.

Author's Note 2: (April) Ooookay.. I totally forgot about this "little" story.. I started it way back in December, but forgot it when I started "After the Fall". I rediscovered it recently, and Sarah thought I should finish it, and then Hilde began nagging me to finish it, and so I did.

To Sarah and Hilde, who rocks!

II

If anyone would ask Rachel Goldstein what she remembered best from her trip to Norway, she'd say snow. Well, if she was honest, she would hafta admit it was a certain afternoon at a hotel room with a certain someone else.. but since she wasn't about to give that away, she would have answered snow.

Yes, snow. It kept falling from the sky in endless amounts it seemed. She had never in her entire life seen so much snow, probably because she lived in Australia.. not exactly known for having too much snow.

It had snowed when they had gotten here. And it was snowing now as she entered the hospital. To see Frank of course, he still hadn't been released. She didn't mind getting a bit of space to work out her feelings, but she was starting to miss him.

"OOOOOO!" she exclaimed, as a piece of snow managed to sneak it's way passed her clothing onto her bare back. Bloody snow!

The weather report said it would snow way past New Years Eve. And she would get to see it. Frank was stuck in hospital until Christmas Day, and she wasn't leaving without him. And getting a plane out of here in the middle of the Christmas vacation would be damn near impossible.. so she had agreed to stay here. She'd miss David.. but Jonathon, the bastard, was taking him to New Zealand for the holidays, so she wouldn't have gotten to see him anyway.

So she and Frank would be spending a White Christmas. Together.

Finally getting inside, she shook of the worst of the snow, then marched into his room. He looked up at once, smiling broadly when he saw who it was.

"Rach! My savior!"

"Bored Frank?" she teased.

"Out of my mind!" he exclaimed.

She grinned, then popped down on the bed, gazing into his eyes. He stared back at her for a while, then got a mock expression.

"No greeting kiss?"

"Didn't know you wanted one…"

"Oh I always want one…" he trailed off as she leaned in and he got totally lost in the magic that was kissing her. Her hair was wet from the snow, and she smelled fresh and of pine.

"Hmmhmm," came a voice from the doorway, and they both looked up to see Vegard standing there. He had a nasty habit of turning up when he shouldn't, Rachel reckoned. He had to have like antennas for it..or something.

"Heya," he smiled to them.

"Hey," Rachel smiled back, and poked Frank in the ribs after a few moments silence.

"Yes, hello," he cheerfully declared, giving Rachel a "I-am-behaving" look. She gave him a "Good-for-you" stare in return.

"How are you doing Frank?" the Norwegian asked as he stepped into the room.

"Bored senseless. I'd give anything to get out of here and sleep in a real bed." He didn't add who he'd like to share it with, but from the look Rachel gave him, he gathered she got the point.

"Oh yes, I can imagine," Vegard said, "I was in here once for 3 weeks and…"

He trailed off watching the two Aussie detectives staring deeply into each other's eyes. They seemed to be unaware of him. Mentally knocking himself for not noticing it earlier on and sparing himself some embarrassment, he began tip-toeing out.

The door banged open.

"Ah, mister Holloway, how are we doing today?" exclaimed the doctor.

"We are doing fine," Frank replied, sighing. There was no privacy! What was it about Norwegians and barging in?

"Ah yes, well, with any luck we should have you out of here in no time!"

"I was hoping to get lucky real soon," Frank whispered to Rachel. She just gave him a coy smile in return, he decided to take that as a promise. It still felt like he was walking in a dream, her actually giving in to his advances! How they were gonna deal with it when they got back to Australia, he had no idea, it would be complicated for sure… but right now it felt like life had given them a breather. A chance to spend some time together.

She was getting better too.. he could feel her beginning to open up to him. There was still some issues between them… but so far they had neatly sidestepped them.

"Maybe you'd like your check-up now miss Goldstein?" the doctor asked her, and sighed.

"Alright…. I'll be back," she informed Frank, and disappeared out of the room with the Doctor, leaving Frank and Vegard alone in the room.

"Sooo…." Vegard began.

"Yes?"

"You and Rachel then?"

"Oh yes," Frank said proudly, "me and Rachel." It felt weird saying it like that. He and Rachel. An item.

"Good for you," the Norwegian muttered, obviously embarrassed.

"Look mate… I have a proposition.."

II

When Rachel re-entered the room, she froze in total amazement. Laughter. From Frank AND Vegard.

"And that's when the moose ran off!" Vegard concluded, causing Frank to burst into another fit of laughter. Then he noticed Rachel standing in the doorway, and waved her in.

"Hey Rach… Vegard was just telling me.."

"About mooses," she remarked, causing both men to start laughing again.

"Well mate.. I should get going…" Vegard said, after he had stopped laughing.

"Got things to do after all," he added, and then winked to Frank.. who winked back!

"Do I have reason to be jealous?" she asked as Vegard had left the room.

"Ah, well ya know…I am such a charming…"

"Bastard," she offered, and he gave her a knowing grin.

"Listen, Rach…"

The door banged open again.

"Right on cue," he sighed, as the young nurse stepped in.

"I'm sorry miss, visiting hours are over."

"I'll see you tomorrow Frank…" she offered, and gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

"Yeah, alright," he muttered, trying to hide his disappointment as she slipped out the door.

He just hoped she'd like his little Christmas surprise. With a grin he imagined what she would so if she really, really liked it.

II

She awoke with a gasp, trying desperately to get fresh air down to her longs. For a second she could feel the heat, then she realized it was just a nightmare.

The fire. She sighed and rolled out of bed, putting her feet on the floor. The cold hit at once. She had momentarily forgotten she was in what had to be the coldest country on the Earth! The floor was ice against her feet, and she instinctively jumped back into bed and shivered.

And to think she could have been home, in well above freezing temperature, not below!

Still.. it was beautiful, she had to admit that.

She frowned. There was something.. something she was supposed to remember.. and it had to do with snow, somehow. She could ask Frank.

Frank.. The thought made her smile slightly as she leaned back on the pillows.

She had no more nightmares that night.

II

Frank was asleep when she came on her daily visit the day after. At first she was disappointed, but then she found the quiet enjoyment of watching him sleep. He looked boyish, even with the deep red scare from the fire. She reached out to touch it, a sure reminder of their fight to get to this point.

And there it was again. The feeling that she had forgotten something. She tried to let her mind go blank, to let it up to the surface, but it stayed stubbornly in a dark corner of her mind.

"Hey beautiful," Frank smiled, and she realized he had woken up.

"Heya handsome," she replied.

"The doctors tell me I can get out of her tomorrow."

"That's good news," she smiled.

"Was about time.. it's the 23rd today.. I haven't gotten any Christmas shopping done!"

"A bit too late now.. It takes a while to ship down to Australia. You'll just have to give them when we get back."

"I guess.. we can buy them Viking Helmets and stuff."

"They'll love that, I'm sure," she grinned.

"We can have a theme party… bring snow and stuff," he suggested.

"I think it'll melt on the way down," she remarked dryly.

"Yeah.. we'll just make plenty of ice though!"

"Make it nice and cold, eh?"

"Actually, my mind drifted somewhere hot.." He gave her an innocent smile.

"Spare me the details, Holloway."

Their playful banter was once again interrupted by Vegard Hansen poking his head in. For once, Frank didn't seem annoyed.

"Vegard, my man!"

"Frank.. Rachel.. You've been working on the pronunciation."

"Yep, yep." Frank grinned

Rachel stared at the both, wondering if she had walked into an episode of the Twilight zone. Something was definitely up! But what..

She locked gazes with Frank, trying to outstare him into telling what was up. He didn't surrender, and just stared right back at her.

Francis James Holloway was certainly up to something, and he wasn't giving away anything. It almost felt like the good old days, before..

"So, pick you up tomorrow, yeah?" she got out hurriedly, feeling tears emerge.

"Yeah, but.."

She ran out in the hallway, feeling the treacherous tears roll down her face. Frank stared after her with a sad look on his face, knowing well who the tears were for. And he didn't blame her. He just wished he could hold her until they stopped rolling.

II

Rachel showed up at the hospital bright and early, showing no signs of crying herself into sleep. Frank didn't let that fool him, but he didn't comment on it. Their relationship was still somewhat fragile, they had spent one night together, and things had been pretty crazy after that.

"So where are we going?" she asked as he directed up the huge hill. She could see Oslo become smaller and smaller in her rear view mirror as they got further and further up. The car was rented, curtsey of the Oslo Police Department, who felt really horrible about the fire.

"Right here.." he pointed to the huge wooden building they were approaching.

"Impressive…"

They pulled up in front of it, and walk out in the biting cold.

"Let's run inside!" he suggested, his breath coming out as white smoke.

She was inclined to agree, her nose was feeling like it had become icy.

"Reservation for Holloway," Frank told the clerk, who at once seemed to light up.

"Oh yes, your partner called.. This way."

"Your partner?" Rachel asked as the clerk lead them through the hallway.

"Here you are.. call if you need anything," the clerk told them, and headed back to the vestibule.

"Frank? Your partner?"

"Oh, he meant Vegard."

Raising an eyebrow, Rachel looked sternly at him.

"You and Vegard?"

"Yep. Me and Vegard had a chat…" he explained.

"Oh yeah? What about?" she probed.

"Life in general.."

"Don't kid around with me Holloway!"

"Wouldn't dream off it," he grinned.

"Frank!"

"Rachel!" he grinned back, and then pushed the door open.

"Here we are!" he exclaimed. She peeked in.

It was a beautiful room, fire in the fireplace, no moose head on the wall, a huge bed.. She sent him a look that told him she was impressed, before walking in. The carpet felt soft under her legs, she couldn't resist taking the shoes off and feel the carpet against her bare skin. It felt wonderful against her tired feet.

"You like?"

She turned to him, seeing the almost boyish look on his face warmed her heart. He had really done his best to give her a night of magic.

"I like."

He walked past her, and dropped onto the bed, wearing the silliest grin.

"King size bed!" he called out.

"You only have one thing on your mind," she accused.

"Yes I do.. That bother you?"

She rolled her eyes, any reply she might have given got cut short when he dived in for a kiss. When he finally broke of, she had forgotten what she meant to say. It probably wasn't important, or she would have remembered.

"You were saying?" he grinned.

"OH!" she exclaimed, and tackled him. They fell backwards on the bed, laughing.

"You'd fit right into the football team here," he managed to get out between fits of laughter.

"They don't play football. They ski," she remarked dryly before feeling the laughter make it's way from her stomach and up her throat again. It wasn't that funny, she just wanted to laugh.. to bask in the feeling of his laughter against his skin, like tiny little bubbles. It was music to her ears.

His hand went to her cheek, brushing away some strands of hair that had fallen in her face. She gazed over at him, and saw the laughter had been replaced by.. that serious look he'd get sometimes, just when he looked at her.

"Rach.. Bloody hell, I love you."

She felt an involuntary shiver down her spine. When he said it like that, it suddenly seemed so.. overwhelming. She had loved and lost more times than she'd care to count, what if..

"Frank.." she whispered, taking his head in her hands, stroking his lower lip with her thumb. He kissed it lightly, his tongue just barely touching her skin. She shivered, even if the room was quite hot.

"I want to look at you," he muttered, taking her hand, leading her from the bed to the fireplace. The light from the fire added an extra glow to her skin, her hair, her eyes.. He let his eyes wander down her slowly, taking in every detail. Lifting her hand above her head, she let him lift her blouse off, slowly, his hands stroking her skin as they went upwards, all the way to her palms.

She did the same to him, taking off the T-shirt with a mysterious Norwegian saying on it. His chest had a red scar on it, but the color seemed to be fading. She kissed the length of it, from top to bottom, and from bottom to top. He winced slightly, but his hands were busy unhooking her bra.

As it came off, he took a deep breath, feeling his heart skip a beat. She was beautiful, her skin seeming to radiate. As his hands began to trace slow circles on her breath she drew in a sharp breath, but made no other response. Their gazes locked again, she seemed sad yet filled with pleasure. She had endured much, they both had, and there were no guarantees about tomorrow. She had learned it the hard way, and more than anything else he wished he could remove the sadness from her heart.

But all he could do, was give her joy now, and hope it would last.

He kissed her long, tenderly, while her skin felt like fire against his. Breaking it off only to remove the last bits of clothing, their mouths locked again, more intense, more urgent as their need grew. She closed her eyes, feeling the heat from the fire and the heat inside her become one and rose.. rose until it was all she was aware off, the fire that was her and Frank.

And suddenly he was inside her, and the world exploded in a blinding white light as the wave of heat rushed over her. She fell and fell, until his soft embrace caught her, and she felt her senses returning.

"Wow," he muttered against her throat, his voice slightly breathless.

She had no breath to reply with, and she didn't want to bother either, leaning her head against his chest. She could feel his heart pound fiercely against her cheek.

"We didn't get to test the bed," she remarked as her breath returned to her longs.

"The day is still young," he grinned, kissing the back of her neck.

"Mmm…" From the back of her neck he continued downwards, his hands tracing slow circles on her thigh.

"Frank!" she protested, "I'm not the Energizer bunny! I need a moment to catch my breath!"

He looked up at her with an innocent smile, then moved his hands slightly longer up. She gasped, feeling a jolt of fire run through her body.

"Okay, I've had a moment."

II

When looking back at the week that followed, Rachel felt as if she was living a dream. Frank was spoiling her, not only in bed (but certainly there too!), but in every manner he could think off. Vegard took them skiing, and didn't even comment on how long they took to get just a meter ahead as they fell over laughing whenever trying to take a step. Norwegians were perhaps born with skis on their legs, Australians were not.

Frank proved that when he managed to trip in his own skis and fall backwards. She couldn't remember that last time she had laughed that hard. And Frank was too happy to see her laugh to complain about it being directed at him.

It was.. fun, it was enthralling, it was romantic..

Frank Holloway romantic.. who'd thought? Certainly not her, who had seen Frank's relationship with women from the sideline before. This.. somehow.. felt different. She felt at ease. He didn't push her, didn't ask for more than she could give.

And once you got over the snow being so cold, it was pretty amazing. At least she thought so now, when she was relaxing on the couch, inside and watching it. Frank and Vegard had mysteriously disappeared again,

The snow.. She felt her mind go black, felt herself go back to the fire. As she had dragged Frank outside, just before she had passed out.. there had been a boy looking at her. He had looked so strangely at her, his face had somehow.. shone with pride.

Neo-nazis was behind the arsons, Vegard had told them. If that boy..

"Rachel? Earth to Rachel?" She looked up at Frank, then lifted her gaze to Vegard.

"I saw a boy outside the hotel during the fire. Could it be possible that they like to watch?"

"Risky.. but they have been known to take risks. I'll look into it."

Sitting down beside her, Frank gently took her hand as Vegard headed to a phone.

"You okay?"

"Yeah.."

"Walk with me?"

"We just got inside," she complained, but did follow him out the door. The silence hit her at once. The snow had such an amazing buffer effect. They walked in silence for a while, looking at the clear night sky.

"The fireworks should start in a couple of hours," she remarked.

"Yeah.. New Years Eve." He seemed to want to say more, opening his mouth several times, but then just closing it again. She gave him time. Just now she felt oddly at peace.

"Rachel.. " A heavy wind swallowed the rest of his sentance.

"What?"

"I said.." he began, then the wind knocked them both of their feet.

"Shit! I lost it!" she heard Frank's voice, and strained to see him as the wind blew snow in her face.

"Lost what?"

"The ring!"

For a second she felt panic grab her. She couldn't.. marry Frank, it wouldn't..

"Work?" a small voice in her head asked her, "how will you know if you don't try?"

For another brief second she considered running again, then she felt laughter press itself up her throat. Frank stared at her.

"What?" he remarked sourly.

"Just.. this.." she got put between fits of laughter.

"I wanted it to be perfect!" She nearly fell over with laughter, not noticing how cold the wind was anymore.

"Oh Frank! It is!"

"This? In a snowstorm, freezing and I even lost the ring! On New Years Eve…"

"It's fitting!" she laughed, than took hold of his face.

"And the answer is yes!"

He looked at her wide-eyed, then embraced her wildly, knocking her to the ground. And they laughed and laughed as the snow fell around them, isolating all other sounds. For once in their lives, it felt like it was only them, only them and the snow.

And then the sky exploded in red and green colors as the first fireworks began.

II

"There you are, just in time for the countdown," Vegard declared as he saw two very wet detectives walk in, "and we think we know who you saw Rachel, a young boy named Henrik Sørensen. We have nothing on him, but he's under surveillance."

"Oh good," she muttered, feeling her skin flash on fire. She may temporarily have forgotten about the cold, but now that she had gone into the warmth again..

"Weren't you worried we had got lost in the snowstorm?" Frank asked when Vegard didn't say anything else.

"Huh? What snowstorm?"

"This!" Frank exclaimed annoyed.

"That?" Vegard pointed outside, "buddy, that ain't even close to a snowstorm!" And then he started laughing as hundreds of voices began counting down.

Frank met Rachel's gaze and they stared deeply into each other's eyes. She didn't avoid his direct gaze, instead she met it with the same intensity. She hadn't really done that since… Another life ago, before Jack, before..

"We've been living a dream.. and now reality awaits." She wasn't sure if she said it or not, but he seemed to understand it nevertheless, taking her hand gently.

Outside, thousands of voices called out as the old year ended and a new began in a flashes of red, green, yellow and blue.

It wouldn't be easy. But nothing worthwhile ever was.