Pairings: Athrun x Kira, some Dearka x Yzak in future chapters
Disclaimer: I don't own anything of Gundam SEED or Destiny. If I did, it would have had Athrun x Kira and Dearka x Yzak pairings.
Warnings: R / M This fanfic contains yaoi (male/male relationship(s)) and male pregnancy. Some wet dreams in this chapter. It is going to get even more sexually explicit in the chapters to come. If you don't like such things, you'd better avoid reading it for your own good. If you are not of legal age to read texts with adult content, please abide the rules of your country and don't read.
Comments: This is my first try in fanfic-writing. All reviews will be greatly appreciated, but please be aware that I am writing for myself, so I am not going to alter the plot according to your reviews (besides I've already written 13 chapters). I am not native in English, so please bear it in mind while you read.
Summery:Kira loves Athrun and Athrun loves Kira, but each of them hides his feelings, believing they are unrequited. They are looking for a way to the other, but it seems that the more they try the more they drift apart.
Lonely Desire
Chapter ONE
Unsatiable desire
Soft lips were trailing lingering kisses from his collarbone down to his left nipple. Kira tried to suppress a moan. He didn't succeed. Athrun lifted his head and two smiling aqua-green eyes looked at him mischievously. Kira lifted his hands and buried his fingers in the soft black-blue strands of Athrun's hair. Athrun bent his head and continued his sweet torture over Kira's senses. His lips went further down his lover's belly and one hand lightly traced the inner side of Kira's thigh stopping just before it reached his member. Kira's back arced and his lips parted as the sensation spread over him. Athrun smiled in his belly and then with one swift move before the older boy could even understand what's about to happen a hot and moist kiss was pressed to the tip of his erection. The brunet almost jumped out of the bed. His lashes fluttered and he let himself drown in the pleasure those lips made him feel. He was about to reach his peak when something demanded his attention…
…somewhere an alarm was ringing. He tried to clear his mind
while he felt Athrun's mouth around his hard cock. Was someone in
trouble? Cagalli? Lacus? Was ORB under attack…
The alarm became more urgent…
Kira awoke and hit the alarm-clock with all his might. The dream was so good, that he didn't want to wake from it. The land of Morpheus was the only place were he could let his dreams about Athrun run free without any worries that someone would consider him a pervert.
Then he remembered… Today was the day he was most afraid of. Or rather it was the day that was the beginning of the week of his nightmares.
The 6 of them – he, plus Athrun, Lacus, Cagalli, Yzak and Dearka – were going on vacation somewhere. He still had no idea where they were going, Yzak and Cagalli were very secretive. They had organized the whole thing to celebrate the end of the peace talks more than a year after the end of the war.
He was to spend a lot of time with him. With Athrun!
He wondered how would he be able to hide the reaction his body had to his supposed "best friend".
How long had it been since he had fallen in love with Athrun? Or had he been in love with him all along but unaware of his own feelings?
Kira didn't know the answer of this question, but ever since the war ended and the six of them moved to live in ORB, he started to notice things about Athrun that a "friend" is not supposed to see. Things such as how smooth his skin was, how soft and silky it felt to touch and how fascinatingly the fit muscles moved under that creamy skin. How the strands of his hair caressed the nape of his neck…
For the first nine months after they settled in ORB everything seemed fine. All of them would meet often in the evening to discuss how the peace talks were proceeding, to have a quiet dinner together or to help each other get over the war and all the loses each had been through.
Then a little more then three months ago something happened… something that triggered Kira's feelings and he realized his affection towards Athrun was more than just friendship, it involved lust and even more – love.
It had been so funny that evening. They had gathered at Yzak's place for no reason, just to meet in the end of the day and Dearka succeeded in what was not that difficult – to piss Yzak off. The latter grabbed the tanned boy by the collar and pulled him hard in his direction, but Dearka slipped and they ended on the floor, Dearka atop of Yzak, their faces very close and their bodies rubbing against each other. Each one of the youths felt the reaction the other had to this encounter and they realized what everyone around knew for a long time – that not only was each of them in love with the other, but that the love was reciprocated. It all ended with a hot kiss that made the onlookers rather uncomfortable and they made their hurried exit. The next day the two of them made it clear that they were couple.
Kira was happy for his friends. But at the same time, jealousy crept in his heart, for he could not see them and not think of his feelings towards Athrun that were not responded.
That was the reason that he had started to come up with different excuses most of the times their little company would decide to have a meeting. He even went as far as to invent a nonexistent girlfriend that demanded his attention only to be able to stay away from Athrun. Everyone was curious about his love interest and was urging him to introduce her and he was running out of excuses for why it was not yet the time to present her to them.
The few times he couldn't avoid meeting Ahtrun had been a combination of sweet torture and guilty pleasure. He always got seated next to his "best friend" and he spent most of the time trying to hide the semi-arousal he had due to his beloved's presence.
It was becoming even worse when Athrun would touch him or turn and bend his side and his soft hair would touch Kira's cheeks. Then his semi-arousal would turn into full hard on and he felt like some pervert. The same would happen when the brunet would inhale that specific scent of citrus soap, aftershave and something that was purely Athrun…
Kira was afraid he might go insane with his unsatisfied desire towards the blue-haired boy. Sometimes he had to fight with his urge to jump on the younger boy and cover him with hot kisses and do even more rather not "friendly" things. He tried to avoid seeing Athrun at all, but it had raised suspicions and besides he couldn't stand not being around his beloved at least once in a while. So he ended in quite a self-created hell.
Kira woke up from his daydream, turned on the Coffeemaker that was the result of the joint-efforts of Athrun's technical ability and Wartfeld-san's desire to have the best coffee possible and went to the bathroom for a quick shower and so on. When he got out, his hair still slightly wet, the coffee was ready. He tasted it and as always thought it was the best one could have.
Then he decided to get his luggage ready. He opened the top drawer and put on the bed the carefully packed old T-shirt that was on the top of all. He couldn't resist and took it out and buried his face in the soft material. It was Athrun's. He had forgotten it on his bed 4 years ago, when they were still on the moon, the last time the blue-haired boy had slept at Kira's place before he returned to the PLANT and before the tragic war that had put them one against the other. Ever since then, till the day he would grow out of it Kira would sleep in this shirt just to feel closer to his friend. This and Torii had become the threads that connected him to the absent Athrun. He was so glad that some weird reason had made him take the shirt with him on that fateful day when Heliopolis was destroyed, or he would have never forgiven himself for losing something of such importance.
He carefully packed the T-shirt and put it back in the drawer when all the necessary clothing was safely in his bag. Well, he was ready for the challenge that lied ahead of him.
His eyes flew to the photos on his nightstand. And to one in particular – him and Athrun, young, innocent kids, embracing each other, still unaware what destiny had in store for them.
The doorbell drew him out of his state. Was he late again? He had set the clock to ring earlier just to be sure he wont be late. He took a look at his watch. No. He had 45 minutes till the others came to take him to wherever they were going.
He went to the control panel and checked on the screen who was looking for him. His heart started to beat faster. Athrun…
Why was he here now?