DISCLAIMER: I don't own the Saw movies or anything associated with them.

Title: Tainted

Genre: Angst/General

Fandom: Saw

Summary: Drabble…JOHN'S POV

A/N: Please tell me whether or not if this is a piece of crap and if it's worthy of keeping.

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As I lay here in a pool of fake blood, faking my own death, I couldn't help thinking that it was her fault that I was here.

I wondered what things would've been like if she hadn't left me.

Maybe I wouldn't have gotten sick.

Maybe I wouldn't have been so bitter, about my life, about everything.

Rachael.

My wife of ten years decided one day I wasn't good enough for her. She claimed she needed more from me, more than just a nod of recognition or an occasional pat on the arm.

I don't know exactly when and how our relationship began to fall apart at the seams. Perhaps I should've tried harder to keep her. I should've tried harder to understand her.

I didn't even call her to let her know I was dying.

She wouldn't have cared. She hadn't cared when she abandoned me.

No one came to visit me in the hospital.

More than once, I'd wished she was there with me, comforting me and telling me she loved me.

I suppose a small fraction of me still loved her, but she'd taken a huge part of my heart with her, leaving me cold and unforgiving.

My illness had pretty much destroyed what was left of my soul.

I smiled inwardly as I heard Adam flailing in the bath tub.

Someone's game was about to be over.

Mine had ended a long time ago.

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