Pairing: One-sided Nathan/Haley Spoilers: Set early season 1, but no references to any specific episodes. Haley's tutoring Nathan, and they're friends. That's basically all you need to know.
Summary: That, ultimately, is why Nathan Hates Lucas Scott. because of a stupid girl who should mean nothing to him, but means everything instead. Complete.
Author's Notes: Sorry if this is out of character or confusing. Also, it's unbeta'd. Doesn't that make you excited to read? )
Disclaimer: The characters with in do not belong to me.
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If anyone had the audacity to come right out and ask him, Nathan would lie instantly. Tell them he hates Lucas Scott because that's all he deserves, because he's the illegitimate son that, whenever discussed, always leads to yelling and one or more of his parents leaving the house in a rage.
But that's not the reason, Nathan finally admits to himself. He hates Lucas Scott because he's the real golden boy. Because when girls are put between Lucas and Nathan they go to Lucas ultimately for his personality. Because when the game's over and the crowd surges forward, Lucas's mom hugs him and kisses him on the forehead and Lucas doesn't push her away.
Because, after his mom's done, it's her turn, and she nearly jumps on him. With her pretty auburn hair and nonexistent fashion sense. With her vivacious eyes and cluelessness about sports.
Her. The thing Nathan hates the most about Lucas. His weakness.
Haley. Haley James. Thinking her name like that would almost be cliché, a word Haley's maybe mentioned a couple times during tutoring. Nathan doesn't listen to her as much as he should.
He focuses on the way her hands move when flipping through a textbook, or gesticulating when proving a point. Or touched him on those few occasions he wouldn't be thinking about her. Those times she'd notice his distant look and not yell at him for ignoring her.
Those times when she'd lean close across the picknick table, pretty dark eyes on his. And no matter what he'd say to her concerned questions she'd always know the truth. Suck the words out of him with the softness of her eyes, or the worry he craves to believe is sincere in her voice.
That, ultimately, is why Nathan Hates Lucas Scott. Because of Haley James, the one thing Nathan can never have. Lucas's weakness. Their weakness. The girl Nathan was supposed to destroy who has somehow turned the tables and destroyed him.
The girl who has made him believe in a feeling he doesn't know how to describe. He knows, because of her, that there is something besides fake concern, or whatever Deb pretends to feel whenever she's home long enough.
He knows that people can be proud of you for the simplest of things, despite what Dan has ingrained into his brain. He knows it's okay to not be perfect, because perfection is nonexistent, according to Haley. He knows all this because of a stupid girl who should mean nothing to him, but means everything instead.
Haley's his tutor, she's saved 90 of his grades. She's taught him how to do quadratic equations and to analyze The Crucible. How to not hate reading, and how to not hate, but be jealous of, Lucas. She doesn't know about that last one.
It's those things, the things she doesn't know she's taught him, that Nathan appreciates the most. She's taught him that the touch of a hand doesn't always mean false concern; it doesn't even mean pity. She's taught him to appreciate hugs, to relish them just a little bit, when she's giving them. That the most wonderful thing about a girl isn't looks, but how their hair feels, soft on your face.
She's taught him things the other guys would scoff at, things that make him wake up shaking some nights, he wants so desperately to have them. And she doesn't even realize it.
She's taught him to be weak. And the worst part of it is, Nathan wouldn't give up this feeling for anything.