Disclaimer: Still don't own RENT.

Roger's POV:

I know why he clings to his camera. I know why he has to capture every moment of his existence on film then blow it up on the wall later during the day. He'll never admit it, but I know.

He starves himself for me; he's gone without healthcare for as long as I can remember. His glasses are scratched beyond belief, largely due to Maureen's attempts to be a dominatrix. I watch him squint despite wearing his glasses; I watch him study the faces of the moments he captures on films. He always looks like he's trying to fill in voids in his memories. He's trying to connect with what was fuzzy at best.

I give Mark hell for having that damn camera on all the time. He always responds that it is because he's working on a new documentary. I know it isn't the truth.

Reasoning doesn't work with Mark because he truly believes that he is not worthy of material possessions. Mark has his camera, scarf, bike, and a well-worn jacket. He claims that is all that he needs. I don't believe it, but he does. He's stubborn; Mark is the only person that has ever been able to match my stubbornness.

I watch him watch his favorite reel of film. It's the one where Angel, Maureen, and Mimi are dancing in Times Square just prior to midnight. That was the last time we were all together like a real family. He smiles as he watches; I watch him slowly raise his hand as if he is going to trace the outline of their faces, but he stops and folds his hands on his lap.

He has migraines; sometimes I can hear him softly sobbing in his bedroom. A few times the headaches have been so violent that he has pounded his hand against the brick wall to distract his mind from the pain in his head. I wonder if the migraines are related to his failing vision. Sometimes, I worry that this is something much more sinister than an out-dated prescription.

Mark is watching scenes of me drinking with Collins. He smiles and tears come to his eyes. The memories are coming together in his mind; he is turning the blurs into something real. He looks like he is momentarily at peace.

Maybe the filmmaker really cannot see.

FIN