Drugs or Me
Author's Note: Thanks for all the reviews. I'm really sorry for the lack of updates, I'm doing my best, thanks for still reading.
Chapter 13: I've Had Some Time To Think About You
- '(So far away) the face in front of me (to pull me up, take the wheel)' –
I'm not sure if it's Brooke's footsteps that pull me out of thought. It could just be the violent shivering that's started again…God I just want it to end. I just want her to be okay – because this feels right, to be next to her like this.
I'm taking my hands from around her just as Brooke steps into the room. She thinks nothing of it, just smiles and sits next to Peyton. I watch her brush a strand of blonde hair from her best friend's face, there's such a love between them. I feel like throwing up thinking about their bond being completely obliterated.
"How's she doing?" my girlfriend whispers to me, but I'm only registering half of what she's saying. The other half of my mind is falling totally in love with just watching Peyton sleep.
"She's alright. I laid her in the shower to calm her down a little, and she's still shaking but it's been a while now and I think this all should be settling down soon. Maybe by next week she'll be a little bit closer to normal."
"I hope so…Luke…can we talk?" she has a more than serious look in her eyes, they're glistening with a few tears – I'm kind of scared for what's coming.
Brooke and I make our way into the hallway; just as we're leaving I see Peyton's eyes open. She's going to hear the whole thing, because I can see with the state Brooke's in she's not getting very far from Peyton's room.
She breaks down crying before she can even get any words out. I'm immediately at her side, trying to wipe away the salty tears pouring to the floor.
"Brooke…"
"Lucas, tell me the truth. I want the god honest truth, I don't care how much it hurts me, if you've ever cared about me the way you said you did, tell me the truth."
"About?"
"Please, Lucas…don't make me say it…" she slides to the floor in more tears, and I know I have to do as she asks.
"I love her, Brooke," I keep my voice low; my tone's not malicious or spiteful the way it would have been a year ago.
"I know," she barely gets the words out, but I do hear them. "I've known it; I just wanted to make sure I wasn't throwing us away because of suspicions. Thank you…"
"You're…you're not mad?" she gave me the total opposite reaction of what I had expected. It was as if she and Jake had decided to switch places, which is good. I can stand taking a few punches from Jake but Brooke has always had the ability to make anyone's life a living hell for longer than my nose will take to heal.
"I can't be anymore. I just end up being more miserable spending all that time being mad at the two of you. Peyton needs us both right now, and if I'm mad it's only going to make things worse. I'm over this; if you love her I can't keep you with me. I just need some time by myself right now, go take care of her, Lucas," she wraps her arms around me, shocking the hell out of me. This was the Brooke I had fallen in love with last year, the one who truly cared about Peyton, and it's the reason I know we'll be able to stay friends this time around.
Peyton's fully awake when I re-enter the room. She's looking at me with a million questions in her eyes. I know she heard what Brooke said, I know she needs to talk to Brooke before we can really be anything more than we are right now.
"Brooke!" I hear her feet making their way back to the room quickly.
"What, what happened?" she's out of breath and looks panicky.
"Oh," I smile sheepishly, "I just…I want you guys to talk before any decisions are made concerning the three of us."
"You scared the shit out of me, Lucas. I thought something happened," she's still wiping at a few stray tears while scolding me.
I can see Peyton's worried looks from the corner of my eye; she knows how much this is killing Brooke.
"Sorry…I didn't mean to make it sound so urgent…I just, I don't want to do anything here without the two of you being totally okay with everything. I know it's never going to be perfect between the three of us, but I can't stand the awkwardness that's always there. So, if you two need to talk, I'll leave…"
I turn to the door but I'm stopped by both of the girls.
"Stay…" they both glance at each other and smile. A smile that I can see reflects years of friendship and bonds that no one will ever understand; a smile that only they give to each other, and I'm hoping a smile telling each other that nothing will break them apart.
This is really short and I feel terrible for the delay. My job has been eating up all of my time lately and then there's school and my life. I'm so sorry, I just wanted to get something out there and I'm going to try to get these stories all back up and running. Thanks for any reviews you guys are willing to give after the wait. :)