Yes, new story. Yes, long story. But that's me. Anyways, I wrote this story as a holiday gift to all. More specifically to those whom I have known around here for a while, and my closest friends. :D Personally, I write this story for Sky The Hedgehog of course, SonicRules12, Speed-To-Sonic, Golbezandcrew, Krystal Darkness, as well as Dante40k and The Ultimate Life Form. And also for any of the people who have read my stories and offered kind words. All I appreciate fully.:)
Christmas story! It starts off weird, but I'm weird, so ha. Read on if you shall. I apologize that its long, but I couldn't cut it down any shorter.I will be going away starting on Tuesday for vacation, so I leave this for you! All you guys rock. Truly. Happy Holidays all!
Oh, and two characters belong to two others. Just to confirm. ;)
Ring ring! Ring ring!
"Man, what is that?"
Turning his head around, the blue hedgehog could not find the confounded noise that irked him so. It had been going on and on for the past twenty minutes, but never could he find its source. And just like the last five times he searched, he shrugged back and went to his very important work.
Signing autographs!
"Sonic! Would you please sign my arm!"
"Why sure! Anything for my loyal fans!" And with that, he smiled his famous, pearl-white grin, resulting several fan girls to swoon from his greatness, whose fainted bodies would later be swept into the allies after they started to clog up traffic.
So the hedgehog, Sonic (which the reader should know by now or otherwise they are more spacey than even the authoress is) gave a flourished signature on the squealing girl's arm. Another fan rushed up to him, eyes sparkling. "Oh, Sonic! Can you please sign my face! I HEART YOU!"
"Sorry to disturb you, oh great and wondrous Sonic the Hedgehog," a random man who shall not be described said with the utmost reverence in his voice as he came up meekly to the hero. "But you told me to remind you of your date with Halle Barry this evening in your super cool mansion/chilidog stand."
"Ah, of course! How forgetful of me!" Giving one final grin that swooned more girls to unconsciousness, he sped in a blue streak and watched people put up posters decorated with his handsome face on them, printed with bold, blue letters the statement, "Worship Sonic and get free cookies!"
Already beating his speediest record the tenth time today just by running through the city did he notice a forlorn figure standing out in the corner of the street, wrapped in a tattered cloak, shivering from the cold. This random person held up a cardboard sign with both hands, its surface marked in pathetic and sorrowful handwriting, as well as some spelling mistakes. But on it, the message was clear. 'Will angst for food…'
"Well hello there, Shadow!" Sonic greeted, waving a carefree hand, halting in his run. The addressed hedgehog did not reply, instead moving his red and black head toward the voice, then giving a violent sneeze.
"Been having some rough times, huh?" the blue hero questioned sympathetically. See how caring and kind our little blue hedgie is?
"Go away and just let me suffer in my tortured and meaningless existence," Shadow replied rudely. Pfft, figures. What else can you expect from the ultimate angster? Now bereft of all his fans who turned to the cleansing way of Sonic, Shadow has sunk to the lowest of the low, searching through trash cans and eating sewer rats with rotten cheese as his side dish.
Suddenly, the black hedgehog collapsed to his knees on the sidewalk, turning his face toward the heavens and gave an overly dramatic cry. "My life is over! God, strike me dead now! This is who I am!" Then he huddled into a ball, and started bawling like a baby. Aww.
Sonic stood there, looking at his washed up rival in the street with pity, shaking his head. He would find some way to help the poor hedgehog off the streets, just because he was such a nice guy after all!
"Here, Shadow. Have a nickel!" said Sonic as he tossed the metal coin to the beggar.
The black hedgehog cried with joy and the utmost glee, clutching his newfound treasure possessively. "Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! I now have money to buy those oatmeal crackers! Thank you, oh wonderful Sonic! I've always loved you and knew you were better than me at everything!" With this proclamation, he bounded to his feet and wrapped his arms around the hero, crying into his shoulder.
"Ew! Get off! Shadow cooties!" cried Sonic, pushing Shadow off him who unfortunately stumbled in the way of a school bus, then was hit, broke some bones, mangled horrifically, and was finally dragged away from the moving vehicle, screaming in undeniable pain. But the important thing here was that Sonic was not hurt. Phew. Close one there.
"Yuck, Shadow cooties all over!" Sonic wiped his arms feverishly, hoping he would not contract the Shadow disease that had spread to the past Shadow fans weeks ago. (May they rest in peace).
"Oh, Sonic! I am so glad I caught up with you!" yelled the random man from before, who still will not be described because he is no way important at all, running up to Sonic. "The President just called and wishes for you to accept the role of presidency as he sees you are the only perfect being to ever deserve it. And the lottery company called also, wanting to give you their entire savings of several bajillion dollars!"
Sonic took all the news in nonchalance, giving a grin that nearly made the random man swoon with love. "Ah, that was so nice of them. Thanks for telling me, Billy."
"Ah! He knows my name! Whee!" Then the man started to skip away, tra-la-la-laaing in a merry tune.
Faster than the eye could blink, more random people showed up, one of them presenting Sonic with a trophy. "For your great excellence of being way past cool! Also, you are now king of the world! All worship Sonic!" Then the whole population bowed down like the lowly creatures they were, chanting Sonic's name in holiness. And through it all, the greatest blue hedgehog had a look of most humble nobility on his face, holding up the trophy to the sunlight, which gleamed so bright it made the people go blind.
"No need to worship my coolness, loyal citizens of the world. For I, Sonic, will prove to be a most worthy and caring king. Now first, I'll need a truck full of chilidogs-"
"Sonic, wake up already!"
"Huh?"
And with that, cold water that felt like tiny daggers, splashed onto his face…
…and Sonic jumped out of bed, as if his butt suddenly caught on fire, screeching like a little girl.
"AHHHHH!"
About something like that.
"Sonic, I'm sorry! But the alarm clock didn't wake you, so I had to resort to this!" Tails stood by the rumpled bed, holding a freshly-wet bucket in his hands, staring meekly at the hedgehog who had fallen to do floor, shivering in frozen terror. Sighing, he dropped the object from his hands, walking up to the blue, stricken one. "Come on, Sonic! It's 2 in the afternoon! Told ya that eating ice cream and playing video games all night just don't mix…"
Finally gaining control over himself, the hedgehog stumbled to his bare feet, a bloodshot look in his green eyes. "Tails, why'd you have to wake me up? I was having the best dream of my life!" He began to whine.
Tails looked at him with exasperation. "Was it the 'Everyone worshipping you and the tortured Shadow' dream again?"
"Yeah, except I actually got past the 'tortured Shadow' part! Your timing really sucks!" Sonic crossed his arms, and pouted like a spoiled child that had his favorite toy taken away from him.
Tails, miffed by Sonic's ingratitude, furrowed his brows to clearly show his anger. "Well I've been trying to wake you up for the past three hours already! Who knew you were such a heavy sleeper? Tomorrow's Christmas Day, and you haven't done any-"
"Wait, what?" Sonic stared wide, completely dumbfounded and clueless. "Christmas? Tomorrow? Are you sure? Don't lie!"
"I'm not lying, Sonic! Tomorrow is Christmas! The day of Santa and presents and Knuckles getting drunk on eggnog. I was-"
"No, it can't be Christmas yet! I haven't bought any one their presents yet!"
Tails sighed, putting a hand over his eyes to prepare for the headache he could sense coming on. "I know you didn't. Why do you think I'm here? I woke you up to remind you of that!"
"On the last day?" Sonic was now rushing out the bedroom door, not noticing the windowpane etched with snowflakes slowly falling down from the sky. His apartment was in a tangled mess, spare food snacks left on the floor, a chair or two overturned, and an Amy plushie (what the heck?) left to lie on the top of a television set sadly, which had been left on. Those video games sure are addicting.
"Damn you, Tetris!" Sonic cursed during his departure, then bounded out the front door, padding down the hallway.
Tails ran through the living room, being careful not to step on the melted ice cream, chasing after the blue hedgehog. "Man, he had all month to go and shop and now on the last day he-"
"Ahhh!" Sonic screamed again, which had woken up quite a few lazy neighbors in the vicinity. (You must understand, some of them had night jobs). Tails cringed his tiny ears as another shout rang through the building. "Oh my gosh, I'm naked!"
The young fox resisted the urge to go bang his head to the wall. "That stupid Tetris messed with his head…"
Sonic then dashed to the front door, quickly closing the barrier lest any peeping toms tried to sneak a look. "Why didn't you tell me I was going out naked?" he pinpointed the blame on Tails, using an accusing finger for emphasis.
"Well, believe it or not, Sonic, you're faster than me!"
The hedgehog brushed aside the comeback with a wave of his hand, his face still looking weary from staring at the television screen all night with sugar coursing through his veins. "That makes no excuse. Now where's my clothes?"
Tails felt he was losing intelligence just by having this conversation. "Sonic…you don't wear any clothes!"
"Oh, here they are!" Sonic ignored Tail's reasonable comment as he picked up his white gloves and running shoes from underneath a table… because for some reason it was there. Putting them on quickly, the vulnerable feeling of nakedness simply vanished. "There! Much better!"
"Um… you know, that doesn't really change much…"
"Wait! Shut up, Tails! I have to find that list." Once again, ignoring the sputtering fox, he searched his apartment, plucking a dirty piece of paper (which seemed to be stained with soda) out of a pile of food, squinting his eyes to make out the symbols on the leaf. "Sheesh, of all the days you remind me of Christmas shopping, it's the last one. Thanks a lot."
The young fox, having had enough, picked up an empty soda can and threw it at Sonic's head, concluding with a hollow clang of metal against skull. "I already told you about this for the past three weeks! Every day I came over here saying, 'Sonic! You have to get the presents now!' But every time you said, 'I'll go tomorrow. That's a better day!' And then you'd go back to reading those darn Dragonlance books!"
"Hey! I can't help it if they're good!" The hedgehog's voice showed a tone of drifting away as his eyes stared far away. "Like in this last one, you should've read, there was this monk having a death knight chasing him and ready to rip off his head-"
"Sonic! Focus!" Tails yelled, his blue eyes blazing in fury and impatience. "You kept putting your shopping off. It's 2:15 now, maybe if you're lucky you can at least get Amy a present! Remember, we have to go to the Chaotix's Christmas party tonight."
"What? That's tonight? I thought it was next week!"
"…No, because then it wouldn't be Christmas anymore! Seriously, Sonic, did all that sugar melt your brain?"
"Hey! Don't insult my intelligence!" Sonic countered. His green eyes stayed rapt on the loose paper in his hand, trying to decipher the stained writing. He realized that his penmanship sucked really bad. "Uh Tails, think you can read this?" he asked, proffering the list to the befuddled fox.
Shaking his head in weariness, the eight-year old fox tromped his way toward the kitchen, leaving the blue hedgie in the messy living room. "I think I need a smoothie or something…"
Sonic barely noticed him, still starring at the list with unusual intensity. "Let's see… for Knuckles… I was gonna get him those golden boxing gloves… but they're probably sold out by now… Tinfoil boxing gloves! That's perfect!"
"Ohh…" a disappointed groan came from the kitchen. "Sonic, maybe you should get someone else to do your shop-"
"Quiet! I need to go to Walmart! They should be having their last minute discount sale!" And so after tripping over some more melted ice cream on the floor during his departure, the hedgehog bounded out the door and then from the building in three seconds. Tails left the kitchen too late, clutching an ice cold strawberry smoothie in his small hand.
"Sonic, wait! Aw, darn. I'm not even sure if he'll be able to get all his shopping done for tonight," concluded the fox, absently taking a sip of the smoothie through a crazy straw. "He can be so air headed sometimes-"
"Watch out for that truck!"
CRASH!
"Sorry!"
His eyes widened, the twin-tailed fox moved to an open window, spotting several cars and one large pickup truck lying scattered about the road, hoods rumpled, headlights cracked, and drivers all cursing with the colorful foul language. A blue streak could be seen zigzagging around the automobiles, kicking up powder snow in the air, waving an apologizing hand toward the citizens.
Tails sighed again. "Great, this is even worse than last year…"
Meanwhile, as a hyper hedgehog was running through the mall section of Station Square, a few detectives were busy with a little last minute Christmas errands of their own.
"Charmy, bring those darn lights over here already!" shouted a very ticked off crocodile.
A tiny bee, grinning in his ever present joy, dragged a string of Christmas lights on the floor as he buzzed noisily in the room. "Hey, Vector! This what you need?"
The room was an extra in the Chaotix Detective Agency building. Large enough to hold forty people at once (even though it would have been considered a fire hazard) the place was all decorated in frilly holiday designs. Couple of red and green colors splashed here and there, fake snow plastered on the floor despite that they were giving off a few toxic chemicals, and one freaking huge tree, high enough to nearly touch the ceiling. Well, it wasn't really that big considering the ceiling only reached five and a half feet. Yeah, quite short, their budget was low this time of month. Wonder how Vector was able to stand, as we shall assume he was somewhere near five feet. But moving on…
Turning his eyes to meet the gaze of the flying young insect before him, the reptile nodded. "Yeah, just give it here now. We have to get this ready by tonight."
"Sure thing, Vector! I'll help you with…" The child halted in his announcement, seeing a package lying open on a desk behind the gator. "Oh my! Are those chocolate malts?"
"Wait! Charmy!" But the gator barely had little time to stop the child. With frenzied obsession, Charmy flew past Vector, not noticing the string of lights that had suddenly wrapped around the big guy's neck due to his rapid motion, resulting in a very uncomfortable choke-hold. Yet the bee just sat on the cluttered desk, gulping down the tasty chocolate treats as Vector's face gradually turned to blue, trying to loosen the Christmas tree lights of death that were slowly squeezing the life out of him.
"What'd ya say, Vector?" Charmy questioned with a muffled mouth.
"Ackmurphugh…cack!"
"Glad to hear it!"
Luckily at this time, Espio entered the large detective room, dragging several shopping bags as he tromped away from the blizzard that was building up outside. All trudged up in winter jackets and several scarves, the reptile/ninja was barely noticeable, only his yellow eyes could be seen from the hulking disguise. In irritation, he threw the bags against the wall, ignoring any of the really-sounding-a-lot-like-glass-breaking crashes. Then he proceeded to pull off his winter bundles, which was a long and tiring process. So far, he was only able to remove three hats, and there were five more to go.
"Alright guys, I finally did all of your Christmas shopping today… so can I have my Tae Kwon Do video back?"
Noticing neither of them were answering, Espio looked up, now catching sight of a nearly passed out Vector who by then was hanging limply from the tied up noose of tree lights around his neck, and Charmy still eating away at his chocolate malts blissfully.
"…I leave for one hour…" Casually, Espio held out a sharp metal shuriken and threw it in the direction of the two, flawlessly cutting the string of Christmas lights during its flight path, then lodging into the far wall with dramatic grace.
Vector fell forward on his snout, harshly waking him up from the nearly comatose state he was in. Taking in deep and sharp breaths, it consisted of several minutes before he could regain himself. Charmy on the other hand, had finished his desserts and was now attempting to draw a picture randomly with a chewed up pen. Only later did he see the purple chameleon in the doorway, nearly removed of all winter clothes.
"Oh! Hi, Espio! What's up?"
The chameleon did not respond and merely walked up to the gasping Vector, a bored expression in his impassive face. "Need any more help?"
"No…I…(gasp)… am fine!" The crocodile climbed to his feet, then assumed the role of strong leader once more, despite his green face still showed traces of blue from the suffocation. "There. Never better!"
Espio made a pained expression, cringing at the crocodile's loud voice that rang across the room harshly. "Geez, what is up with your voice? It's so horrible!"
The green gator snapped his long mouth shout, looking slightly ashamed. He coughed nervously and tried to avoid any sort of eye contact. "Well, uh… this darn season has given me a bit of the case of the flu…so my voice is sort of all out whacked out…"
Espio gave a sigh, nodding in understanding. "Yeah, that would make sense. But still, it's all so…I don't know a good word for it. It's just bad. Can't believe they made you go through the Shadow game with that voice."
"I know! But we had to meet a deadline, so I had to go like this." Vector put on a grim smile. "But come on, someone had to have liked my voice, right? Right?"
The chameleon just looked at his green companion blankly, then randomly dusted off some snowflakes from his shoulder. "I blame this weather. It's nearly below ten degrees today, and the blizzard did not exactly make things easier. I really hate the snow."
"I love the snow!" Charmy shouted, having been listening to the conversation all along.
"You know nothing!" Espio shouted back, then sneezed violently. "Oh great…stupid cold…" he groaned.
"Well anyway, you got all the presents, right?" Vector changed the subject as he prodded through several Bloomingdale shopping bags. "Where's the ingredients for the eggnog?"
"Third bag on the right," the chameleon pointed out as he prepared himself some herbal tea while Charmy decided to finish the Christmas decorations on the tree, adding in his own creativity.
"You know what this tree needs? Soup on a stick!"
"No, not like last year!" Espio countered, his throat a little raspy from drinking the scalding tea. "Last time you put your soup on a stick thing on top of the tree, it nearly hit Shadow on his face. Then he's gonna tie you to the railroad tracks again."
"Oh boy! I remember that!" Charmy proclaimed fondly. "That was real fun. Oh! I hope he likes my present!"
"Why? What'd you get him?" Vector asked curiously, still searching through the bags.
"A cheese grater!"
"…I'm not even going to ask," Espio concluded, then went back to sipping his tea.
"Ah, here it is!" Vector held up several food items from a bag; carton of eggs, sugar, and alcohol. Because what is eggnog without alcohol? "Gonna have to try to keep this away from Knuckles this year."
And at that moment, a certain red echidna busted through the door, bringing with it a flurry of snow into the room. Wow, what convenient timing.
"Did somebody say eggnog?"
Vector swung his face to the entrance, looking quite surprised. "Oh, uh, Knuckles! You're…kinda early. About five hours early…"
Scarlet spines ruffling in the winter wind, the echidna focused his attention on the crocodile, a weird gleam kindling in his eyes as he spotted the ingredients of the wonderful eggnog held. "Hey! You gonna make that soon?"
"Well, I was gonna wait until maybe an hour before the party-"
Knuckles narrowed his eyes, fists clenched.
"Uh! I mean I can make it now, of course!" Vector hastily amended.
The guardian seemed to relax, then strolled into the decorated room, carrying something behind him in sack. "Well, that's good. I'm seriously in dire need of some of that stuff."
Charmy's eyes widened at the large sack hefted by the echidna, envisioning a similar Christmas figure in red bringing in rewards for the good children of the world. "Knuckles! Did you bring us presents?" he asked excitedly.
Knuckles raised one eye ridge in puzzlement. "Huh? Oh, this thing?" He held up the sack in one hand. "Of course not! I can't leave the Master Emerald out there on Angel Island by its lonesome!"
Espio nearly choked on his tea. "Wait… you actually brought it with you….Again?"
"Of course! That bat girl's just waiting out there to steal this most precious treasure ever!" Knuckles opened up the bag, revealing the green gem, hugging it in a loving manner. "Don't worry, my little pretty. Knuckles won't let that mean old bat take you away. 'Cause you know I wuv you so much, you cutie! Yes you are! Yes you are!"
Espio searched for the exit, clutching his tea. "Great, now he's doing baby talk to it…"
"Vector, is that eggnog ready yet?" Knuckles suddenly demanded.
"Hey, just give me a sec with this thing, alright?" he countered back, mixing in the ingredients in a glass punch bowl.
The echidna then cringed, nearly shutting his eyes. "Oh man! What is up with your voice? Is it still like that? Well, you're taking way too long with that eggnog. Move aside and let me do it!" And with that, he hefted the Master Emerald and tossed it toward the unsuspecting crocodile. "Here, hold this for a sec, will ya ?"
Not paying attention, Vector was only able to see a very large piece of jewelry ready to fall on him with impending doom. Then he was squashed under its weight, intensely sure he must have broken his spine, or at least bruised his pancreas.
Espio just continued to sip his tea, watching all with a knowing air. "I'm not helping this time…" Then just as calmly walked back to his room. He hadn't been able to do his yoga all week.
Ignoring the crocodile's muffles of pain, Knuckles walked to the half-filled punch bowl, rapidly stirring the contents until he lifted the object and drank it all down greedily. "Just how I like my eggnog…full of alcohol!"
Unfortunately, no one was watching Charmy at the moment, which was not a good thing in the least.
"Hey, I wonder if this tree is flammable!" chimed a young, enthusiastic voice.
"Okay, uh… what did Tails want again? Oh yeah, more action figures!"
Sonic was once again peering down the soda-stained list, counting out all the gifts he would need for his friends. So far, all he had gotten was Rouge's present, which he was now inspecting with the fondest of achievement.
"Man, I am such a genius. Of course she wanted this toenail clipper! It's all she ever talks about."
Somehow our Sonic had confused the word toenail clipper for jewels, the real items that Rouge longed for and had been hinting him to get for her that year. Oh well, there was always next year!
"Alright, now where can I find the others presents?" The blue hedgehog rushed out of the toenail clipper store (yes, a toenail clipper store) and into the maelstrom of snow flurries. All he had on was a purple scarf wrapped around his neck, the cold and harsh weather hardly bothering him at all. Winter time was a fun season for him, as he was usually off going snowboarding or other such things. For some odd reason, he never got sick from the cold…lucky freak.
After pushing past bystanders in his last minute dash for presents, he tried searching for Wal-Mart (always low low prices!) but only found a burnt up rubble of mush and a cleanup crew doing their job…That would be cleaning up the mess if you didn't get it. According to one of them, it had been the fault of some kid chatting away about flammable trees, but Sonic barely listened.
So he ran off again, until he found another store called Gall-Mart, a new business that had just opened up. On it's window was posted a message board stating in big letters, "Grand Opening! 50 off all items! No, we are not a rip-off of Wal-Mart!"
"50 off? Man, that's lucky! I only got like ten bucks anyway!" Sonic dashed through the double doors, knocking down more people in his path. It was a rather large store, packed in with tall shelves and what may have been items except very few were on them. People rushed about the place to and fro, complaining about credit cards and cursing out the holiday. Apparently, a whole lot of others decided to do their shopping last minute as well.
Sonic was in no way hindered by this and was ready to push through the crowd until he was stopped by a red figure who screamed out the word, "Hello!"
"Gah!" Sonic skidded to a halt and inwardly groaned at the recognition of the person. One of those store greeters… they got on his nerves so much.
The figure, a red hedgehog by the looks of it and a rather handsome one may the authoress add, smiled broadly at Sonic, wearing the store's uniform which consisted of a blue vest and a white shirt. Kinda nerdy, but that was the store's policy. Near his left shoulder was a nametag printed with the word 'Sky.' Awesome name, isn't it?
"Hi there! Welcome to Gall-Mart! Home of the Whopper! Oh no, wait… wrong line. Hold on, lemme start again…. Welcome to Gall-Mart! Where our crud is your treasure! And we are not a rip-off of Wal-Mart! So please don't…uh, sue!" After checking the script he hid behind his back, Sky returned to greeting Sonic once more. "How can I help you? And will you give me a tip if I do?"
Sonic, getting slightly annoyed, glanced at the nearly empty shelves and nearly sighed in defeat. "Well, I'm trying to get some presents for my friends-"
"On the last day before Christmas?" Sky put his hands on his hips, tilting his head in curiosity. "Did you oversleep or something? Like everyone else here? Guess you shouldn't have eaten all that ice cream!"
"Wait, how did you-?" Sonic started to ask then shook his head irritably. "Never mind. Look I just need to find some presents and fast. I only have three hours left and all I got is this toenail clipper!"
"Well don't worry! Sky is here to help! Right this way!" With happy enthusiasm, Sky grabbed Sonic's arm and dragged him away into the mass of the crowd, pushing past people skillfully. In his other hand was a sword (you see, this was his weapon of choice. Details will not be explained), its blade swinging out against the people that occasionally resulted in someone's cry of pain such as, "Ah! My arm! It bleeds!"
"Here we are!" rang Sky's voice as he halted before one of the tall store shelves. This place had slightly more items, like a can of soup and doggie treats. Sonic passed a careful eye over the area, but his hopes were barely any higher.
"Eh, I don't think you have what I need. Guess I could just go back over to that toenail clipper store-"
"No, wait!" Sky blocked the blue hedgehog's path, his eye wide in pleading desperation. "Please buy something! Or my boss will kill m! Then I will go broke and have no job and then have to live in a box! A box!"
"…Huh?"
"Buy something now!" Sky changed from helpless victim to dreadful murderer in rapid fashion as he held up two swords to Sonic's neck, his brown eyes flashing. "Or I cut your head!"
"Whoa, back off! Okay, okay!" Sonic tried to placate the angered red hedgehog, caught off guard by the sudden transformation.
Swiftly, the twin swords vanished and a bright smile was back on Sky's face. "Thank you! Now let me show what we have!"
To avoid another near death encounter by the strange red one, Sonic complied, shaking his head as all the products were shown to him systematically. But each one did not seem to meet up to his criteria of Christmas gifts. Kind of odd since he had just bought a grooming tool for Rouge… sheesh.
"And here we have this spatula! Very popular this year," the scarlet store employee was saying, holding up the kitchen utensil to Sonic's face after showing him a couple of cereal brands. "Only $30.99! A great save! You know, since it was twice that much before and we got the discount now…"
"I can't pay that much!" the blue hedgehog exclaimed, though he eyed the new spatula with some interest. Didn't Amy say she wanted one? Or was it a cooking pot she asked for? "Don't you have anything under ten bucks?"
"Well why didn't you say so?" Sky dropped the spatula with a ringing clang to the floor as if it was tainted with icky garbage grease, then grabbed Sonic's arm again as they ran to another part of the store, wounding more people in the process. Arriving at what seemed to be the toy section, the red hedgehog, grinning, pulled out one stuffed doll from the shelves which appeared to be a blue hedgehog with a yellow stripe going down its head, wearing ordinary clothes.
"Here we have the Golbez doll! Only $5.99! Definitely a gift I personally recommend! Custom made in some country that is either China or India, I forget which. See, it even talks!"
To demonstrate, Sky pulled a string that came out of the doll's back and a male voice recording blurted out, 'Greenhat rocks.' This made Sky stare blankly for a moment, then with a frown tossed the Golbez doll away. "That one is obviously defective! But the rest should be good!" To alleviate the toy's last statement, Sky chose another and pulled the string again, resulting in the recording, 'Sayonara!'
Sonic inspected the doll, since he had never heard of someone named Golbez in his life. But he could probably get that doll for Tails, especially as it seemed that any hope of finding some Megatranformers action figures were slim now. "Okay, you red thing! You got a deal. I'll buy it!"
"Remember, you have to give me a tip!" Sky reminded.
"I will give you three dimes for your help!"
"Yay! The last guy only gave me a punch in the face!"
Feeling more secure in his shopping, Sonic reached out to grab the Golbez doll, but found it oddly held tight in the grinning red hedgehog's hands as he attempted to pull it toward him. "Hey, uh… you can let go now. I'm gonna buy it."
"Yep!" Sky didn't relinquish his treasure one bit.
This just made Sonic lose his already short patience. "Just gimme the freaking doll!" He pulled harder which resulted in nothing but a ticked off Sky.
"But it's my Bezzy!" Sky protested suddenly, holding onto the hedgehog doll with an iron grip. Soon the red and blue hedgie were involved in a tug of war over the stuffed animal. Though Sonic could have just chosen the dozens of other Golbez dolls on the shelves, but the ice cream had eaten away part of his brain by then. See the evils of sugar?
The doll got stretched, its stitching nearly breaking off, and then another voice recording of it said, "My favorite color is Shadow!"
Now while these two battled it out for the doll, another hedgehog which looked exceedingly similar to the stuffed toy, entered the store casually, eating some type of sandwich. The authoress is not sure why she added in the sandwich bit, maybe to make it more interesting?
Another store greeter, a very well groomed human male, came up to the sandwich eating hedgehog, smiling his phony smile in hope to get some kind of tip. "Hello! Welcome to Gall-Mart! And a whole bunch of lines I can't remember now! How may I help me? I mean, you?"
The animal, Golbez we shall call him to make things easier, finished eating his delicious sandwich and gave a polite smile to the greeter. "Hi, I'm looking for a green hat. I've searched every store but none have it."
"Well, yes we do have one, sir," the greeter reassured. "But are you sure you won't be more interested in a Santa hat instead? Green hats are sooo five minutes ago." He pointed to the bunch of red Santa hats hung up on the walls on tiny hooks with little silver bells on top.
"No! I want my green hat now!" Golbez shouted in fury, his eyes. that had suddenly changed to a blood red color, narrowed. He began foaming at the mouth, which made things even more scary. "Give it!"
"I'm sorry, sir! Here!" cried the store greeter fearfully, pulling the demanded hat from the wall and proffering it to the rabid Golbez. "Please don't bite me!"
"Thank you!" the hedgehog said, gathering the hat in his hands with a smile.
Just at this moment, a certain red hedgehog's picked up Golbez's voice with his super hearing. Ears twitching, Sky turned his eyes over to a hedgehog that was standing at the opposite end of the store, blissfully unaware of the danger he was in. All concerns over Sonic tugging away at the doll vanished from his mind.
"Ah! It's Golbez! Yay!" Absolutely giddy, he let go of the stuffed toy without warning, resulting in a surprised Sonic who fell backwards into the dozens of other Golbez dolls roughly. He immediately ran toward the unsuspecting hedgie, changing from his nerdy store clerk outfit to a very pretty dress in two seconds, complete with a green skirt and everything. "Golbez!"
Standing in rigid horror, Golbez slowly turned around to spot a red hedgehog in a dress run up toward him in fan girlish love. His eyes widened immediately. "Ah! I thought I lost you in that subway station when that train ran over you!" Clutching the green hat with determination, he ran off in the opposite direction of Sky, searching for the exit which unfortunately was blocked off by some more people whose arms were bleeding mysteriously.
"Outta my way!" Golbez shouted. Vigor running threw his veins for survival, the hedgehog lifted up a metal table that had been nailed to the floor (wow, that's some strength there) and hefted it toward a large glass window. Sharp transparent pieces flying everywhere, he jumped through the newly-made exit into the snow, screaming for salvation. Sky was not far behind, squealing in joy as he rushed out of the store, his skirt fluttering quite prettily in the wind.
A man who seemed to be the manager of the store, since he was wearing more nerdy clothes, tromped up to the broken window, shaking his fist at the receding backsides of the two hedgehogs. "This is coming out of your paycheck, Sky!"
Of course, Sonic didn't see any of this, being immersed in a sea of stuffed hedgehog dolls. With a few muttered curses, he made his way out of the pile, holding one Golbez doll in hand. "Well, at least that's two presents I got today!"
"Hey, you two!" shouted out a random voice from outside in the blizzard. "Watch out for that truck!"
CRASH! BANG! KERPOW!
"Oh my gosh! Did anyone get hurt?" shouted another voice fearfully.
"Nah, just some red thing in a dress."
"Oh, okay then. I was worried there for a second."
"Hey, where's Sonic?"
Already the Chaotix Christmas Party was underway. The night was chill, the blizzard finally decreasing to a gentle descent of snowflakes from the dark heavens. The holiday celebration had been going good so far, except for perhaps Knuckles and his obsession for the eggnog, but that was not so important.
Amy's inquiry reached the young Tails ears who had been playing his most recent gift from Rouge, a Nintendo DS with the game Sonic Rush. He coughed nervously at the question, daring not to look into Amy's curious face.
"Uhh… he should be here any minute now! Heh, you know Sonic. Always ready to make an entrance!" He gulped, not entirely sure that the pink hedgehog would fall for his false information.
Apparently she did, nodding at his explanation before taking a sip of hot chocolate from the mug she was holding. Her outfit consisted of a red and green dress, complete with bells strapped on, a most beautiful get-up for the holidays. She hoped that Sonic would notice it, but he didn't point it out last year, so she wasn't set on this. "Sonic better get here soon. I wonder what he got me for my present this year!"
Tails coughed, his eyes increasingly intent on the DS screen. "Oh yeah! He probably got you a real good present! …Especially when he completely forgot to get you one until today," he muttered the last phrase under his breath.
"What did you say?" Amy asked. Her hearing was getting quite good.
"Nothing! I hiccupped!"
The pink girl just shrugged and went to her task of hanging mistletoes around the room. So far she had put one in every conceivable place; the doorway, under the table, at the buffet table, even right next to the bathroom. This time she would get a kiss from Sonic for sure!
Vector, meanwhile, was busy putting out the miniature fires on the Christmas tree, aiming the nozzle of his trusty fire extinguisher at any given time. "Damn it, Charmy! Are you trying to ruin the party with your stupid antics? You've already done enough with Wal-Mart!"
"I was just curious is all!" the bee defended, holding a lit match to the pine needles which Vector immediately took away. "It's the Christmas tree's company for making them flammable! By the way, when is Santa coming here?"
Espio, who had been sitting on the side wrapped in a thick blanket, sneezing occasionally and drinking his scalding hot tea, answered the question wearily. "Later, Charmy. He's just… running late."
"But I want my presents noowww!"
"You already got ten different gifts from all of us!"
"But not from Santa!"
Now of course there were more guests at this party. Like Shadow, for example. Seemingly bored with all the festivities, he had retired to leaning against the wall, silent as stone. Possibly angsting, as usual. He was just so damn good at that! Rouge, tired of seeing Knuckles slurp up the eggnog from the bowl, went up to him, smiling in her Santa hat.
"Come on, Shadow! Cheer up already. It's Christmas!"
The black hedgehog stared at her emotionlessly. "This whole holiday is pointless and stupid. I don't see why you even bother celebrating this."
The bat put on an annoyed expression, her iron boot tapping on the hardwood floor. "Because I like to have fun once in a while. And you should too!" Suddenly in her right hand, a rectangular tinfoil wrapped box appeared, pushing it toward the questioning hedgehog. "Here, from me to you."
Raising one eye ridge, Shadow took the gift, containing the urge to shake the box in curiosity. He gazed at the bat girl suspiciously, who sighed in exasperation. "Come on, Shadow! It's not a freaking bomb! Just open the darn thing."
With silent compliance, the ultimate life-form carefully unwrapped the present, pulling the red bow from its knot. After going through the unpacking process, he lifted the lid of the box, and then his eyes went wide.
"You…got me…a…"
Rouge's face was beaming. "Yep, that's right! Since the cops had confiscated all your weapons after your latest game release, I thought that this would be the perfect gift that would not get you arrested! At least not for today. Merry Christmas, Shadow!"
His red eyes misting in gratitude, Shadow tenderly picked up the item in the box, a happy smile spreading across his face. "A paintball gun! It's perfect, Rouge! You even got the latest in design!" Crying, he wrapped his arms around a blushing bat, saying thanks after each sob.
"Aww, you're welcome, Shadow!" Rouge replied, giving him a fond pat on the head. It was totally out of character for the angsty hedgehog, but it was worth seeing him like this for her.
Grinning in jubilation, Shadow lifted his shiny, large paintball gun, teeming with excitement to try out his new toy. "Now I can finally shoot people again!" And to prove truth to words, he pressed the trigger and small lead-shaped of purple paint flew across the room, followed by a cry of pain.
"Ah, my eye! My beautiful eye!"
"Sorry, Knuckles!" Shadow apologized, though it was obvious by the mischievous grin plastered on his face that he was not in the least bit regretful.
"When is Mr. Santa Clause coming?" chimed an innocent voice. A wide-eyed Cream the rabbit glanced wonderingly at the door, hoping to see the jolly red-dressed man enter soon. Her little tag-along chao had the same thought as well, squeaking in his own high voice, which in the authoress' opinion was really annoying. Ears hurting now.
"Don't worry, Cream. He should be here any minute!" Vector reassured, also glancing expectantly at the door. "In fact, I think I hear him coming right now!"
Everyone waited silently, but seeing nothing come through the door, all turned their eyes on a red-faced gator who cleared his throat nervously. "I said, I think I hear him coming right now!"
"No need to scream already!" shouted back an equally irritated voice. The door suddenly opened inward, banging against the wall from its path. A large, obese man stood dejectedly on the stoop, dressed up in the traditional Santa outfit, except he didn't wear the usual white beard, instead sporting an orange mustache. He carried a large sack over his shoulder, and looked at the animals in the room with something that was not exactly joyful.
"Hello there, kiddies. It's me, Santa Clause. Ho ho ho… and stuff." Reluctantly, he entered the room, looking exceedingly embarrassed.
"Dr. Eggman!" Amy exclaimed, surprised to see the evil maniacal genius in such a get-up. "You're…playing Santa this year?"
The doctor sighed impatiently, trying to lower the red cap he wore over his eyes. "This is just part of my community service now. But this is only to win the people's trust! Seeing me like this, I will win them over to my side so that once I build my Eggman Empire, few shall resist against me!"
"You look utterly ridiculous," Shadow stated, holding his paintball gun casually.
"Aw man, I wish I could see!" Knuckles whined, rubbing his eye furiously with some water, then taking another sip of eggnog. It took the pain away slightly.
"Wow! I didn't know you were Santa too!" Charmy shouted happily, buzzing toward the doctor in a frenzied manner then tackling him to the ground. "Where do you find the time to give out presents and take over the world? It must be the coolest thing ever!"
"Ah! Get off of me!" Eggman cried, pushing away the insect with one hand. "Just leave me alone and get your present." He dumped the sack onto the floor, spilling dozens of gaudily dressed gifts that invited the eye to look deeper.
"Thank you so much, Mr. Santa- I mean, Dr. Eggman!" Cream said gratefully as she searched for her presents, Tails just beside her who looked at the doctor with suspicion. (Although he too was secretly looking for his gift as well).
"Is Sonic going to come here any time soon?" Espio voiced out, shivering inside his blanket. "He doesn't come this late."
"Don't worry! He'll be here!" Tails responded, sweating a little. "At least I hope…"
Already nearing the hour of 10:00 pm, Sonic had traveled all over Station Square in search of the remaining presents for his friends, stressing his speed through every mall, pawn shop, and dark alleyway he could find. But he was finally able to get what he needed. Now the only thing left for him to do was to get to that party. Simple, no?
"Ah! What was the address to that place again?"
Guess not.
The snowflakes dancing in the night air around him, Sonic gripped onto the shopping bags as he ran through the darkness. He skidded on the ice multiple times but never fell. His feet moved in a blur as he searched for his destination. Eventually, he passed by a police scene, spotting someone familiar, but decided not to dwell on it and kept running forward.
"Mr. Golbez, you are under arrest for causing several car crashes, resulting with a bunch of very ticked off people who were late for their last minute Christmas shopping," stated a police officer as he slapped the cuffs on a protesting blue hedgehog. "You have the right to remain silent and using…uh, I don't know. They never taught us that far ahead."
"How long do I have to stay in jail?"
"Not long, just for three years."
"Three years!" Golbez shouted, eyes wide in pure shock.
"Or three days, I don't know. Just work with me here."
"I'll wait for you, Bezzy!" shouted a crimson hedgehog, brown eyes sparkling as his long quills fluttered in the wind. (Now isn't that sexy?)
"Gee thanks, Sky," Golbez responded in a monotone as he was hauled to the police car. "But can you tell Greenhat where I am? Just in case I might not be able to call her from jail."
"You jerk!" shouted Sky, throwing one of his swords at the other's head who started to scream in a horrified tone something like, "Ahhh!"
What happened next? Well, that's not important now. No one was seriously hurt thought So shut up and read on.
"Oh! There it is!" Sonic's green eyes shined victoriously as he spotted the Chaotix Detective Agency, all twined up in sparkling lights. The front door was wide open, letting in the soft snow to the warm laughter on the inside.
"And I got all the gifts! Haha, Sonic, you sly goose." Grinning, the blue hedgehog ran toward the place. But unfortunately he was not paying attention to his footwork. So he skidded on the ice, and this time he actually tripped. Yelping in surprise, he fell on his butt which began to slide down the ice in high speed due to the motion of his run.
"Watch out!" he warned before he reached the doorway, hitting the stoop, flying headlong into the room where a bunch of wide-eyed furries watched his act in astonishment, then concluded his flight path by crashing right into a blank-faced Shadow.
Soon, the air was filled with paintballs, ricocheting against the walls.
"Wow, Sonic! That was quite an entrance you made there!" Charmy commented as he munched on some leftover cheese he found underneath the refrigerator.
"Yeah, thanks. I was…planning that all along!" Sonic gave a shamefaced grin, then winced as he felt a headache coming on. Three bumps formed on the top of his skull, all from a very ticked off Shadow.
"So…what do you got there in those bags?" Tails asked, his blue eyes going to the shopping baggage lying next to the blue hedgehog.
"Oh right!" Jumping to his feet, Sonic lifted up the bags proudly. "You didn't think I'd forget to get all you guys presents, huh?" He gave a laugh, making the two-tailed fox shake his head.
Everyone stood up, waiting patiently for their present from the ever reliable Sonic the Hedgehog. After all, has our little blue guy ever steered anyone wrong? Well, maybe. But let's not get into that.
"Here, Tails! For you!" Sonic pulled out the fox boy's present from the luggage and handed it to him cheerfully. "Merry Christmas, little buddy!"
Tails, feeling confused, took hold of Sonic's present, staring at it. Now what was it, you ask? Why it was the Golbez doll from earlier! Really, pay attention!
"Oh…uh, wow, Sonic!" Tails said to the grinning hedgehog. "Just what I've always wanted! A…some kind of hedgehog doll." He pulled the string coming from the back, a recorded voice playing, 'I like fish!'
But it was the thought that counted. So the fox boy gave a bright smile to Sonic, knowing that the hero meant well. "This is a great present, Sonic! Thanks!"
"You're welcome!" Sonic responded, feeling relieved that Tails liked his present after all.
Next it was Knuckle's turn. Though the echidna was still a bit tipsy from the eggnog and was now wearing an eye patch over his eye from the paintball incident. But he came up to the hedgehog, expecting a good present or he would beat Sonic upside the head. And that would hurt quite a bit, now wouldn't it?
"Here's my gift to you, Knucklehead!" The blue hedgie handed over his present, totally confident that the echidna would love it.
Oddly, he was right.
"Oh my god! Kleenex!" Knuckles shouted in glee. He clutched the plastic cleaning bottle to his chest in massive joy, violet eye shining. "How did you know? I just ran out of the stuff last week and my Master Emerald was beginning to dull!"
Remember, Knuckles had just drank a whole lot of eggnog…Like five punch bowls of it.
"That's just how I am, Knuckles," the blue hedgie replied. "Think nothing of it! Merry Christmas!"
"I'm gonna go try it out right now!" And Knuckles did just that, plopping down next to his precious gem and began the polishing ritual he had started on his island, making sure not to miss any spots.
"Now for Rouge!" The hedgehog shouted and handed her his present which was prettily tied up in a small box. Rouge's eyes widened at the sight. So he did get her some jewelry! And all this time she thought he was ignoring her.
"Merry Christmas, bat girl!" The addressed girl took the present and opened it up greedily. Her smile slipped into a frown as he hefted the tiny gift to her face.
"Huh…toenail clippers…not like I already have a dozen of these things-"
"You're welcome!"
"I didn't thank-!"
Ignoring the angered bat, Sonic walked up to Shadow to deliver his next gift. "Hey there, faker! I know we haven't always gotten along that well, but of course I had to get you a present too!" He handed over his wrapped up present. "Merry Christmas, you weirdo!"
Frowning slightly, the black hedgehog took the gift, thinking that perhaps Sonic actually got him a good present like Rouge did for him. Maybe the blue freak wasn't so bad after all. His opinion of the hero raised higher as he opened up his gift.
Unfortunately, that high opinion crashed like a lead balloon to the sharp rocks of the ground.
"…A Chia Pet…"
"Not just a Chia Pet. A Scooby-Doo Chia Pet!" Sonic corrected.
Shadow's face was expressionless as he looked over the cruddy gift of the sculpture of the detective dog's head, covered in green stuff and ridges where the plant was supposed to grow on. "You got me a Chia Pet…"
"That's right! Merry Christmas, Shadow!" Sonic smiled, sure that Shadow was stunned by such an awesome gift.
"…Chia Pet?" Well, at least Shadow was stunned.
Now to speed things up, let's just skip all the gift-giving wonder and summarize. Cream got a coupon for some free ice cream, ("I know how much you like that stuff!") Espio got a box of cold medicine, ("Don't go spreading your germs on me!") Charmy got a whole box of stale Oreos which the kid actually liked, ("It's only stale because the person who sold it to me said it had been in the basement for three weeks.") Vector got some new batteries for his CD player, ("Long lasting! And it keeps going and going and going…") and finally Eggman for his present a noogie on his bald head from the hyper hedgehog. ("Say uncle, Eggman!")
But yes, Sonic was immensely pleased with himself. He had achieved the impossible; getting all his dear friends the best gifts ever! (At least in his mind). Plus he got some cool gifts in return. Especially from Amy. After dodging her advances for a kiss underneath the dozens of mistletoes, she had given him some gold-encrusted gloves, shining new sneakers, cool sunglasses, and even made a portrait of his awesome self! She had really went past the spending limit on him. She was such a sweet gal. Though he wondered why she was staring at him expectantly, as if she was waiting for something. She didn't have any more gifts, so why was she smiling up at him, her jade eyes shining, looking to Sonic as if he was the greatest guy ever, not that she was wrong, though he still-
GASP!
Sonic dropped his new gloves in horror.
OH MY GOD I FORGOT TO GET AMY A PRESENT!
He shivered at the terrifying revelation, silently berating himself for such an idiotic mistake. Of all people, how could he forget Amy! And after the presents that she gave him!
Wow, what an airhead, huh?
"So, Sonic," Amy said in her innocent voice, smiling in anticipation. "What did you get me? I know you've been saving my special gift for last!"
The blue hedgehog desperately tried to search for a way out of the building, then saw the all the others staring at him as well. No escape. There was no escape!
"Uh…" Sonic started, gulping nervously. "Well, you see, Amy…"
"Yes?" she asked, still having such deep faith in them that would soon be crushed.
"Well uh…I woke up real late today…and I hadn't gotten everyone's presents yet, so I was…rushing through everything…and I thought I got everyone…but except…I, uh…"
Amy, hearing Sonic stumble with the words, soon began to realize the truth of his mistake. First her face went into disappointment, then sorrow, until finally her most terrifying mood: anger.
Her eyes narrowed dangerously, a blood-red aura seemingly erupted around her frame, making Sonic jump back in shock. He was in for it. He knew this for sure.
"So…you got me nothing?" Amy said in a lethal whisper, fists clenched. By this time, everyone else had moved back, some hiding behind tables and the tree, or in Knuckles' case, behind the Master Emerald, nervously sipping the last of the eggnog.
"Amy! I'm so sorry!" Sonic pleaded. He could imagine his face being bashed in by her hammer and his legs being broken from her rage. Oh no, how was he going to get out of this one? There was only one way, just one way to live long enough to see Christmas Day.
He got down on one knee and shouted with all his heart and soul. "Marry me!"
…
…
No one spoke for a whole minute after this proclamation, until Shadow broke the ice with his mocking laughter.
"Wow, I can't believe you actually did that, Sonic!" Tails grinned, still playing on his DS, trying to beat his own record on the game.
"What other choice did I have?" Sonic protested, though even he had to wonder. Amy was sitting next to him, cuddling against his arm, having the biggest smile on her young face.
"Oh, I can't wait for the wedding, Sonic! It's going to be so beautiful! I knew you loved me this much to ask for my hand in marriage! We can even make our own vows! Until death do we part!"
"Yes…Death!" Sonic said, beginning to cry as he felt the chains of marriage and commitment wrap around him in suffocation.
Amy saw his tears and mistook it for a completely different reaction. "Aw! You're so happy that you're even crying tears of joy!"
"Yes! Tears of…joy! Waaa!"
And so the night went on; presents were exchanged, trees were lit on fire, and lives began to shatter right before someone's eyes because of their own stupidity. Yes, only in the holidays!
"This is the best Decemberween ever!" Charmy shouted in glee. "I feel a song coming on! We wish you a Merry Christmas! We wish you a Merry Christmas! We wish you a Merry Christmas! And a-"
"And we hope that you get sick and suffer in the terrible winter! I hate the snow!" Espio concluded, still coughing and sneezing. Looks like the new cold medicine was not working too well.
"Hey! Those aren't the words!" shouted back Charmy.
"Is there anymore eggnog?" Knuckles shouted, turning to Eggman, eyeing him suspiciously. "Do you have eggnog, Eggman?"
"…You need help…desperately…" the doctor stated.
"Let's just end this dumb thing already," Shadow muttered in annoyance. "The moral of this story, kids, is to learn to get people good presents! Not the crap Sonic gave us!"
"So goodnight, and have a good life!" Rouge said next, totally unaware that she was breaking the fourth wall.
"Hey, Eggman! Is your moustache flammable?" Charmy questioned curiously, lighting a match…
Well, you can all guess what happened next. But until then, Happy Holidays everyone! Don't let the door hit you on the way out!