Dissipation

AN: I wrote this directly after seeing 'Recoil', and it's a missing scene, which takes place just before the scene at the end with the little girl leaving with her lawyer and Calleigh and Ryan are watching. The whole edgy-tension between Calleigh and Ryan in this episode really got me itching for to write something about them.

Disclaimer: Don't own the characters, not making any money, blah blah blah... -yawn-

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He can't stay angry with her.

He wants to. He really wants to. He has every right to brood and grouse and moan and glare and pull out every passive aggressive stop in the book. But, God damn it, he just can't.

Ryan had every intention of it, too. He was heading right into that locker room, ready to get all hot and bothered and…and at least make her know he wasn't happy.

But he couldn't. He got within a foot of the door, and saw her standing, back to him, door to her locker open, and would have gone steaming right on in if he hadn't been brought up short by something…something in the way she was standing there. The set of her shoulders, drawn back and down, her frame, normally so strong and tall, now so… tired looking, relaxed and resigned.

Her voice carried no anger, no frustration, no extreme pain – just quiet, weary regret. "Oh, Tim… I missed you today."

And damn it all, he couldn't hate her for it.

He'd seen the picture taped to the inside of her locker door. The faceless name that had allowed him into this job, suddenly had a shabby, sheepish grin, intelligent grey eyes beneath heavy, serious brows and untidy hair sticking up at too many angles for it not to be deliberate. He was looking bashful, because Calleigh had, last minute (her hands were blurred, it was clear she was still in motion as the photo was taken) flung her arms around her co-worker and rested her head, albeit briefly, on his shoulder. Eric Delko stood just off to the side, half way through downing a mug of coffee, grinning round the drink at the camera.

The brief moments whenRyan would catch her looking in her locker, that same stance, that same tranquil resignation, just for a second, before she snapped out of it, realised she was being watched. That photo was one of a few he'd caught a glimpse of in there – her dad; some kind of family gathering; a group of friends; a black Labrador; a vacation snap of some mountains – and that one of Tim Speedle, of course.

Her fingers went to her temples, pressed gently, covered her eyes. He could hear her breathing soften, one hand going gently to press a thumb to the photo.

She drew a long, shaky breath, and swung the locker door closed, pausing only to tip forward just far enough to rest her forehead on the cool metal of the door, let her eyes flutter closed.

Ryan tip-toed back from the door, and let her alone. His anger dissipated like an ink stain on clear water. Days like this, he just couldn't hold up an emotion as extreme as anger, especially not against someone who had just flashed their vulnerable side, without even knowing it.

"I missed you today, Tim," he muttered to himself, "not as much as she did… hell, I never even met you… but I swear I wish you were still around. Reckon it would be easier that way, huh?"

"What'd be easier?" Calleigh in the doorway, looking brighter than she should have done, considering what he had just witnessed. He wondered about her mental stability sometimes – how could anyone change mood that quickly and still be sane? It couldn't be healthy.

"Nothing," he managed a rueful smile. God, he was supposed to be angry with her. Though somehow, he'd lost the will for it. He just wanted to be friends again. He liked when they were friends. Liked her blue eyed approval, liked that quick, genuine, impish grin of delight he got when he did something right. Liked her, period.

"I heard Amy's leaving, if you wanna go see her off," Calleigh offered. Oh, she was smiling, but that was one pointed remark.

"Sure," he wasn't going to take the bate, and offered her his arm instead. Peace?

She took it. Peace. "I need caffeine. You need caffeine? We should go for coffee after this shift."

"Sure," he only smiled.