A/N: This is my shot at a Chrismukkah story. I couldn't think of a way to write it, so I made it Summer's journal. I hope you like it, and please review!

Disclaimer: It all belongs to Fox, sadly.

It's only 24 days until Christmas, and let me tell you, I am so excited! I feel kind of childish, keeping a journal and all. I haven't since high school. But I only kept it then because I needed to dump my negativity on something other than a person. Even my old therapist, Bob Jenkins –who had a huge mole on his chin that I always stared at- looked as if he was getting bored with my same old sob story, which was that my dad never paid any attention to me because he was too busy screwing my step mom's pill-popping self.

I've moved past the 'my life is a burning hell hole' part of me, though, and into 'Bills suck, Cohen is still asleep, and I haven't had a period in 10 weeks' part of me. See, Cohen and I moved to Manhattan after graduation, went to college (he took some writing classes and I went to design school), and then we finally decided that we were stuck with each other and got married.

I'm just kidding, about the being stuck with each other part, I mean. I guess you finally come to the point where you realize that you can never find anyone you could ever love more, and that spending the rest of your lives together makes a lot more sense than multiplying fractions ever did.

So after digging around in old boxes of memories and reading my tenth grade journal, I realized how significantly my life has really changed. I'm still with Cohen, Coop and I are still best friends, and I still have that witty-ass attitude everyone but Cohen hates. But I'm happy (which was something I lacked in junior high), I don't doubt how much I love my dorky husband, and I don't get scared because living in this one bedroom apartment in downtown Manhattan actually makes me happy.

But forget about that; back to my not-so-dramatic life. I'm 23 now (so is Seth), and I have a job I love. I'm a fashion consultant for all the horribly dressed here in this huge city. I have my own boutique, though it hasn't really picked up its sales yet, and I'm working on my own clothing line. And judging by my period, or lack there of, I think I'm pregnant.

So I picked up a test yesterday and tucked it neatly away in my underwear drawer, debating on whether or not to tell Seth just yet. Don't get me wrong, I'm completely stoked, and he will be too. We've got everything we want, so starting a family right now seems so right. But because it's the holidays and Chrismukkah is rolling around, I figured I might surprise him with it; say on, I don't know, Chrismukkah.

It's going to be difficult to keep it a secret though, with my vomiting (at nights, surprisingly, and not in the mornings), crazy eating habits, and I've noticed my rage blackouts having a little more rage to them than usual.

If I can keep all those lovely things under wraps, though, Operation Pregnancy will unfold perfectly. Seth's quite the detective, so I guess I'll finally get to pull a fast one on him.

OK, so either our apartment is haunted or Seth's up, so I'll write more soon! Childish or not, I like this journal thing.

Thursday, December 1st, 7:00 p.m.

Business was great today. I had a bunch of customers, which totally made my day. Now I'm at home watching Footloose while Cohen rubs my sore feet. I took the pregnancy test before he came home from work, deciding that a baby –or telling him there was a baby- would be a perfect Chrismukkah present. It was positive, by the way.

I only have to keep it a secret for 24 more days. It's probably going to be a challenge; Cohen knows everything about me (and my menstrual cycle) so he's probably going to suspect something. We went out to eat tonight and we weren't even at the table five minutes before I made a mad-dash to the bathroom.

I probably should go to the doctor, but I don't want to go see our baby for the first time without Cohen right beside me, holding my hand. That's too big, and too much a part of him for me to go alone.

That'd make him mad, anyways.

Ugh, well Cohen is starting to snore so I guess I better wrap this up. I hope to God he never finds this thing! Well, not until he already knows about his future son or daughter.

OK, I have more to write about now, so I'm not going to stop just yet, even though Cohen's snoring is increasing in volume.

So the gender of the baby: I want a boy. I don't know why, but picturing a little boy with brown curly hair and brown eyes makes my heart swell. Of course, a little girl with curly ringlets would be just as adorable. Oh, maybe it'll be twins! Then I could have a boy and a girl.

Well, unless of course it's two of the same gender. Anyways, I want a boy first so that when I finally have a girl (and I WILL have a girl!) she can have a big brother. I always wanted one. A brother, I mean.

Possible Girl Names:

1. Abby Grace

2. Reagan Michelle

3. Lexie Anne

Possible Boy Names:

1. Cooper Lane (that would be kind of weird to have a son named Cooper, though, when I call my best friend Coop. Oh well. I still like that name.)

OK, so my list of boy names isn't very long. I can't think of any with Cohen's loud snores from across the couch.

Things to do:

1. Pay electricity bill!

2. Dispose of pregnancy test PRONTO!

3. Decorate store window (Christmas-y)

4. Re-arrange living room. (A lot of negative energy in the room)

Saturday, December 3, 12:30
The subway

It completely sucks that I have to take the subway just to get to my favorite Chinese restaurant, Wet Noodle, but I'm pregnant, which means excessive eating habits (and cravings), uncontrollable bladder problems and, of course, mood swings. I knew these were effects of pregnancy, but I didn't know they affected you so early on.

Oh well. At least I have time to write in this thing. This brings me to my next subject: COHEN WANTS TO GO BACK TO NEWPORT FOR CHRISMUKKAH!

I absolutely, positively, bang a brick on my head and it wouldn't change my mind, REFUSE to go.

I love Christmas in New York. It's gorgeous, what with the lights, Rockefeller Centers Christmas tree, and all of the people who stand on the corners ringing those annoying bells and smiling kindly at you, trying to guilt you into donating something (most preferably, money).

I hate -no, loathe- Christmas in Newport, where the weather is still warm (ugh, I'm pregnant. I'm hot all the time. And New York is cold!), Palm trees are substitutes for actual Christmas trees, and the 'charity' events they have are all just scams to score more money for their greedy hands.

Yeah, we're definitely not going back to Newport for Chrismukkah. If Cohen wants to go so bad he can go alone. I'm done with Newport.

Saturday, December 3, 5:00
Home

I love Saturdays (especially those Saturdays where Lifetime has a whole marathon of movies.) Mother, May I Sleep With Danger? is one my personal favorites. Well, it is now. I've never seen it before. Well, until now, of course.

It kind of reminds me of Cohen and I. See, Laurel Lewisohn (played by Tori Spelling) is being stalked by her over obsessive boyfriend. Well, Cohen is not over obsessive and never has been. But he used to stalk me. Actually, I don't know if I would classify it as stalking. It was kind of cute, and totally won me over.

Anyways, my adoring husband just walked in the door and I smell some kind of food, and I don't care what kind it is. This baby acts like it's got three stomachs. I don't think I've stopped eating all day.

Definitely inherited Seth's appetite!

Possible Girl Names:

1. Patience (Cohen will never like it, but it's an interesting name!)

Possible Boy Names:

1. Tyler Brad (water polo player name)

2. Sebastien (Sebastien from Simple Plan is a total hotty! But Cohen will never let us name our son after someone in a punk rock band. They don't whine enough.)

Things to do:

1. Think of more boy names!

2. Tell Seth to never get KFC again because the smell of fried chicken is suddenly not as appealing as it was 3 minutes ago.

3. Figure out how to get out of a Newport Chrismukkah.

Sunday, December 4th, 9 p.m.
Home

So I floated the Newport Chrismukkah situation, or my opinion on it anyways, and Cohen flipped a flop. If only he knew my condition at this very moment. I DON'T WANT TO GO TO NEWPORT!

Ugh. The weather, my father, and more importantly, everyone else in the World I hate. I'll tell you something. I used to love Newport; California born, raised, and addicted. The sun was my caffeine and sun tan lotion was my ally.

But I don't care much for weather over forty degrees right now, and I haven't tanned outside in years. Anyways, back to the weather. I don't think I've ever been so hot before. When they say you have a bun in the oven, they aren't kidding! It's not just a metaphor (whatever that is.)

I feel like a freaking oven. The bun needs to get baked. And I know that I have so much longer to go, and that scares me. I've gone through so much deodorant this week and still I sweat. I think I'm going to camp on the roof and set up residence there for the next seven months or so.

Possible Girl Names:

1. Emma Michelle (how precious is that?)

2. Lorraine (Cohen will hate it, but I like it)

Possible Boy Names:

I got nothing. UGH!

Things to do:

1. Continue to remind Cohen about how much I hate Newport.

2. Buy gum. Throw up flavored saliva is disgusting.

3. Purchase a Christmas tree!

Tuesday, December 6th, 3 p.m.
Work

Okay, so I'm at work and completely bored. I was completely busy about fifteen minutes ago when I had twenty gazillion people in here. I'm so happy that business is picking up! And it's picking up so fast.

I talked to Seth (p.s. – I'm mad!) about the Newport Chrismukkah I'd-rather-die-than-go debacle and he just sighed and kept eating his oversized bowl of Captain Crunch.

Then he started rambling about how he never gets to see his parents anymore, blah blah blah. I love Kirsten and Sandy so, so much, but Kirsten calls every day. It's not like they haven't talked in years.

I seriously do not want to go. I was hoping we could spend Chrismukkah together, with one another, and I could tell him in the privacy of our own blissful holiday that his bun is baking in my oven. But it looks like I'm going to be talked into a California Christmas, so I guess I can package that fantasy up of us being aloneand send it to someone else in Manhattan who doesn't have to go back to the town they loathe and spend Chrismukkah with a large group. Bastards.

No names today. To pissed off to write any down.

Things to do:

1. Find out who founded California and practice voodoo on his sorry, better-be-dead ass.

2. Kill Cohen

3. But then I would be a single parent and my child would be fatherless, so scratch #2. (Plus I might have to go to jail. Ew)

4. Take a nap.

Saturday, December 10th, 8:15 p.m.
Home

Yeah I know. I haven't been writing the past week. I haven't really had anymore negative thoughts, so I hid this thing. I agreed to go to California to make Cohen happy, which he is. Very much so.

But now I have a conflict. I have NO idea what to get him for Chrismukkah. I mean, I'm telling him about the baby then, but I still have to get him things he can actually open on Christmas day! I don't think the baby will be quite ready to come out when it's only been forming, or baking, for almost three months.

Whatever. So I got him a gift certificate to his favorite comic book store, a few CD's, some clothes, a watch, and a baby. But all of those are so unromantic. I don't even think the baby is all that romantic. It sure doesn't seem it to me. It makes me pee, throw up, sweat, get fat, and it makes my hormones rise and fall like a roller-coaster.

Pregnancy sucks. I always heard it was this beautiful thing and you glowed and looked all happy and stuff. Blah. All LIES! The only glow people are getting from me is the beads of sweat when I get too hot –which is all the time- and I definitely don't feel happy when my head is crammed in a toilet, throwing up last nights take out and this mornings bagel.

Back to the present issue. I have no romantic ideas at all. The only thing that's really on my mind right now is a double cheeseburger, chili fries, a milkshake and chocolate. I could kill two birds with one stone and get a chocolate milkshake.

I'm gonna go do that. I'll be back once I fulfill this child's inhuman like appetite!

Monday, December 12th, 10:45 p.m.
Home

Awe! Cohen said that he could sense I was too stressed, so we went on a totally awesome date. He took me go-cart riding and then we walked around and looked at all the Christmas lights and he bought me a hot dog.

I
I love
I love Seth
I love Seth Cohen (A.K.A MY husband!)

Tuesday, December 13th, 11:58 p.m.
Roof

If Cohen knew I was up here he'd have a heart attack. But I can't help it. When we first moved to the city (don't ask me why we've lived in the same apartment since college), I would come up here and sulk about being away from California.

But the millions of lights, the swishing and horns of cars, and the people still walking the streets really comforted me, like it does now. I know it's strange. Hey, I married Seth Cohen.

Anyways, it is so pretty out here. It's snowing; it's been snowing for awhile. Tiny white specks of snow are landing on my paper and leaving water marks that will forever be there, reminding me of this very morning.

That's kind of weird to think about. I started writing this on December 13, which is now yesterday. In the past. History. Gone. Slowly, I inch closer to nine months, which by the way, is really a LONG time.

I don't even know where all these deep thoughts are coming from, either. I would never say these things out loud. Some things are meant just for paper.

I guess I better wrap this up before Cohen wakes up and realizes I'm gone. We're leaving for Newport tomorrow, so this will be interesting.

Possible Girl Names:

1. Audrey

2. Cheyenne

Possible Boy Names:

1. Elijah

2. Isaiah

3. Tommy

Things to do:

1. Pack

2. Get to the airport on time

3. DO NOT TELL ANYONE IN NEWPORT (once you arrive) THAT YOU ARE PREGNANT. WILL GET BACK TO SETH AND RUIN OPERATION PREGNANCY!

4. Get a heavier jacket for these early morning escapes to the roof

Wednesday, December 14th, 2:32 p.m.
Plane

Okay, on account of Cohen sitting right beside me, I'm not mentioning the big P (except there), and if I do mention it, I'll refer to it as…bun.

The damn flight attendant asked me if I wanted wine or cranberry juice, and I've never been one to turn down alcohol, so my accepting the cranberry juice made Cohen curious.

I told him: "If I start drinking, I won't stop because I'd rather be drunk in Newport than sober."

He just kind of looked at me. I don't know why he's acting so shocked that I'm miserable. I gave him a massage while begging to not go to Newport, and tried to persuade him with sex. He took to the sex, of course, but still, we're on the 12:00 flight back to Newport Beach, the epitome of gossip, alcoholics, and scandals.

I used to love Newport. But that was only because I had been engulfed in its bubble. I'd never experienced anything else out there.

Then I was introduced to Manhattan. I don't care that sodas cost four dollars a can, cabs smell like urine, and I haven't experienced true quietness in years. It's the city that never sleeps, and I love it.

But we're back to Newportfor the holidays because my idiot husband misses his family. Well, I miss them to.

Anyways, I'm tired and we still have a long flight ahead, so I'll write more soon.

Friday, December 16th, 9:23 a.m.
Cohen house

Oh, my goodness! As if the Atwood's don't have enough children, Marissa's about to pop out another one. Well, it will be a few months, like eight or so. So this is awesome, because Coop and I are pregnant at the same time!

All the other little Atwood's, Ashley, Andrew, and Amanda are very excited!

Cohen keeps shooting me these looks too, and I can tell he thinks we're ready for a baby. Of course, we're not going full out like Marissa. She has a freaking mini van, and the mom haircut.

No. I refuse to do that. I'll dress this kid in Abercrombie, will not buy a car because no one has cars in New York City, and I will never get my hair cut like Marissa's. I mean, it's stylish, but no. It's too mom mish.

So this is way cool. I'm pregnant, so Cohen and I don't even have to try and wait and stuff, plus Coop is at the same time, and with her already pregnant, the family is going to be double excited.

I hope.

I hope Coop doesn't think I'm like stealing her thunder or anything. It's not like I planned this pregnancy.

Oh, well.

She'll get over it.

Possible Girl Names:

1. Bailey Nicole

2. Jacey Lyn

Possible Boy Names:

1. Matthew

2. Colby

3. Jaxx

4. Justice

YES! I FINALLY have some boy names. I really love Jaxx for some reason. It's so cute. Jaxx Cohen?

I like it.

Things to do:

1. Figure out how to tell the Cohen's I'm pregnant. I mean, it's a big deal, and I want to tell them in a sweet, cheesy way.

2. Go pick presents up from post office (we had to ship them. Ugh)

Wednesday, December 21st, 5:00 p.m.
Cohen house

FOUR DAYS UNTIL CHRISMUKKAH!

I'm SO proud of myself! I haven't let my secret slip to anyone, which is major. I'm known for my big mouth.

Kirsten and Marissa keep talking baby stuff and I cannot wait to be a part of those conversations. Kirsten keeps suggesting names (of course, it has to start with A) and she keeps saying "Oh, this would be cute in the nursery" when we go shopping.

So I really just cannot wait. I'M SO EXCITED that I'm about to combust! Like, literally.

I figured out how I'm going to tell Seth and the family. Well, if it's not too cheesy. I want to put a bow on my belly and let it sink in for him. That's really the only way I know how to tell him without having to actually say it.

He'll get it. He's smart. And if he doesn't, someone else will. I hope.

Four more days. I hope I can make it.

Thursday, December 22nd, 9:12 p.m.
Cohen house

I love Newport. Okay, I know, a few days ago I was ranting about how much I hated it. But earlier tonight Cohen and I went walking on the beach and it was so beautiful. I couldn't believe that I ever hated it.

I hate the people and the drama. But the place I could never hate. Well, I did. Not anymore, though.

It took everything in me to not tell Cohen right then that I was pregnant. It was so perfect. I couldn't though, because I've been waiting weeks to tell him on Christmas and I refuse to tell him on any other day.

Now we're all in the living room watching The Breakfast Club. I really love this movie. It actually reminds me of the four of us: Coop, Ryan, me and Cohen.

I know there were five in The Breakfast Club, but if you leave the nerd out we make our own club.

Me: Prom queen (edit: and Marissa)

Ryan: A criminal

Seth: weirdo

Well, I guess you have to leave out Coop, because she doesn't really categorize with anyone else. I guess she could be Prom queen with me. That works.

Anyways, I want to finish watching the movie, so more later.

Possible Girl Names:

1. Allison

Possible Boy Names:

Nil. Nada, nothing.

This baby is better off being a girl.

Friday, December 23rd, 5:00 a.m.
Cohen house (by the pool)

I can't sleep. It's too quiet here in Newport. I'm used to hearing taxi's honking and fire trucks speeding down the roads.

Not this quiet thing. Plus, I can actually see the stars. Stars.

I haven't seen those in a long time. There are way too many lights in Manhattan to see anything up in the sky.

I talked to Ashley last night and she said she heard her daddy and Cohen talking about how he wished we would have a baby. She said that her dad told Seth to just tell me that and see if I was ready for it.

I just smiled at Ashley and said "Awe."

For a little girl she sure is nosy.

I think I'm gonna go try and squeeze in another hour or two of sleep.

TWO DAYS!

Saturday, December 24th, 7:00 p.m.
Cohen kitchen

It wouldn't be Newport without some sort of party taking place. I was the first one ready, amazingly. Of course, I didn't know about this party so Kirsten, Coop and I went shopping today.

I'm so happy I'm not showing because I would never have been able to fit into this dress, and I'm so happy I do. It's green and has silver sequins lining the strapless top.

It's silk and slender and freaking sticks right to me. Cohen's mouth dropped open when he saw me.

Also, we got our nails done and had pedicures and massages…mm, I feel so relaxed. I could float, seriously. You definitely don't get treatment like this in New York.

Anyways, everyone else is almost done getting ready so...

Possible Girl Names:

1. Jade

2. Kelly

Possible Boy Names:

1. Clint

Sunday, December 25th, 6:00 a.m.
Cohen house (still)

MERRY CHRISMUKKAH! AHH! I'm so excited.

I'm the only one up, which probably won't last long.

Oh, there's Kirsten. I'll write tonight.

Sunday, December 25th, 10:30 p.m.
Seth's room

I didn't think I'd have everyone in the room crying, but they were. Seth finally woke up and I was sitting right beside the tree with a huge bow on my tummy. Of course, he didn't get it. "I already got you," he joked.

So I pulled out a box and tossed it to him. He hurriedly opened it and stared at the purple box. It was another pregnancy test. I would gladly take another. Hell, I'd take one-hundred more, because I'M PREGNANT!

He pulled me up into a hug and started crying, and of course I started crying, and he kissed my hair a gazillion times. Then he kissed my stomach and I melted. I knew he would be excited. I mean, it's a baby and all. Who wouldn't be excited? But I don't think I've ever seen him cry like that. And it wasn't hysterical sobs or anything. It was just sweet tears. I really don't know how to explain it without sounding completely stupid.

Everyone else in the room started crying, too, and not in hysterics. It took all the energy Coop had to finally pry Seth off of me long enough for her to get a quick hug. I swear, Cohen hasn't stopped kissing and hugging me all day. And if he's not, he's staring at me.

Kirsten hugged me forever, telling me all kinds of stuff about pregnancy and how I'm glowing. PUHLEASE! I love Kirsten to death, but she makes it seem like pregnancy is this beautiful thing. I mean, it's beautiful to have a baby and everything, but I definitely don't feel all glow-y and beautiful. Whatever. I just smiled.

Sandy hugged me too, but not as long as Kirsten, and he told me I had to name the baby Skipper if it's a girl.Uh, Skipper? That reminds me of Barbie, and I'm not naming my innocent child Skipper. I told him it would go on the list. Yeah, right. I am not putting that God-awful name on my name list. It would be taken off as soon as it got on there.

So it was a day of tears, hugs, and smiles. I really didn't think it was possible to be so happy. The happiest I've ever been before this day was on my wedding day. But seeing how happy everyone is for me and Cohen is so much better than that.

Cohen keeps looking over my shoulder to see what I'm writing (like now…and he's blushing now). We're watching Over the Top right now, and we know it's not a Christmas movie, but it's a classic anytime of year. Plus we've watched it together for many a Chrismukkah, so it's our tradition. I'm pretty sure Sandy and Kirsten are watching it downstairs.

Anyways, I better wrap this up because Seth keeps rubbing my leg and smiling at me, and I know that he's beyond happy. This is, by far, the best Chrismukkah ever.