Chapter 6- To Part is Sorrow

It seemed like the sun set early that day. Like the wind was colder, like all the clouds in the sky gathered over that one miserable piece of land to darken it. The Great Spirit claimed the life of one of the elders that night. His frail body finally giving way to sickness, hunger and old age. Star cried hard at that poor mans funeral; not because she knew him well, but because death was all Star could see in the Dine' future. She was filled with growing rage. Rage that built on the torture she suffered from her own race, which built on the murder of her father, which built on what was happening to these people that built on what she knew was happening to Indians everywhere.

When she had come back from living with the Cherokee she had not been readily accepted into white society. Most people saw her has a traitor, a black spot on the town. So it was a surprise when the most handsome boy in the town came to call on her. She had a perfect evening with him, dancing, eating, laughing, everything was wonderful. Until she started on her way home. They were walking arm in arm down the boardwalk when he excused himself and left her alone near a dark alley. There had been no one around, no one to see the three pairs of hands come at her out of the darkness. No one to see her dragged off down the alley and beaten beyond recognition. She hadn't screamed for help or cried out in agony, although she couldn't stop the tears spilling down her cheeks, she took each blow in a way to make her tribe proud. Even after she was relieved from the pain by unconsciousness, her wounds showed she had been kicked several times viciously in the ribs. It had been her Indian brother who found her lying broken and covered in blood. He took her back to the village and nursed her back to health. All the emotions from that time came back to Star now, whirling inside her like storm. And there was lighting in her eyes.

Chavez stood staring out into the distance. A chilly breeze blowing back his dark hair; thinking with that brilliant strategic mind of his forefathers. You could guess someone in his blood line had been great. And as he stood facing the wind, unmoving, barely blinking, he almost looked like he might be a ghost of the ancient days; when the Indians were still a powerful and proud race. He heard light footsteps behind him and then felt a tender hand on his shoulder. He didn't have to turn around or hear her voice, he knew her by heart.

"Its late." star said softly "it's getting colder. You'd better come inside."

"I'm going to take a small band to a trader's camp near by." Chavez replied still not turning to look at her "maybe we can trade some blankets and rugs for food."

" No! You know how people feel about Indians around here!.. It would be suicide!"

"I have to try Star…. My people are dying… If not in body, in spirit. I'm not sure which is worse."

"Let me go instead. I can..."

"NO! I won't let you do that! This is our problem. Stay out of things you know nothing about!" Chavez was yelling at Star now, something he had never done before

" What!"

"You heard me! No matter how long you live with them, no matter how much you wish it, no matter how much you act like one, you will never be Indian"
Star said nothing, but after staring at Chavez for several moments in disbelief, she walk away.
Chavez stood alone. For how long he didn't know. Why had he said those awful things to her? He didn't mean them. He heard the sound of fast moving hooves and looked to see Star on her horse galloping away from the village.

Star went the opposite direction from Lincoln. She wanted to get as far away from that part of the country as she could. She felt numb all over as she rode. For a whole day she rode through a heavy pouring rain and didn't even feel the wetness or the cold. How could have said those things to her? He had told her he loved her. He had held her in his arms on cold nights. He acted his love, not just said it. Star suddenly felt a pain in her stomach, such pain that she doubled over in her saddle. Something was wrong; she had to get back to the reservation. She spun her horse around on the spot and took off in a dead run back to the Red Sands.

Chavez laid on his horse, his arms wrapped around its neck to keep him from falling off in his state on half consciousness. He could feel the warmth of the early morning sun as the horse walked almost in slow motion it seemed. Would he ever reach home? Or would he bleed to death before he could feel the comforting touch of his mothers hand; telling him everything would be all right.

Before he could even say a word to the men at the trading camp, they had opened fire. All the whites had seen was a group ragged Indians who came to rob them.
The stench of death caused Chavez to sit up and look around. What he saw made him feel as though some one had cut open his chest and ripped his heart out.

It was almost dark before Star could finally see the nest of hogans on the Red Sands. But something wasn't right. As she drew nearer she could see there was no one moving about doing chores. She got even closer and could almost swear that she saw bodies lying on the ground.

'How long have I sitting here?' Chavez wondered. He looked again at the scene before him. The three bodies of his mother and his twin sisters lying in a row, covered with a blanket; just the way he had put them. He would need to do more soon, they were already starting to smell, but he was so numb all over that he couldn't move.
It was just then that Star entered the Hogan doorway, tears coming steadily down her face. Chavez turned with a sudden rage to see who the intruder was, hoping it was the perpetrator of these crimes, then he take out his pain on the murderer. But as soon as he saw who it was, his rage melted and all he felt was sorrow again. Star knelt down on the ground beside him and put her arms around him "I'm sorry… I'm so sorry!" she said. He laid his head against her chest and she held him. He wept and she wept with him until their voices were horse and their eyes raw from crying.

Star didn't think about starting the fire and hearting water, it was instinct. She tended to Chavez wounds and made him change into fresh clothes. She did all this without a word spoken between them, several hours of silence.
Finally Chavez stood and declared "I'm going after Murphy"
Star didn't put up a word of argument, even though she had wanted to kill Murphy herself, she couldn't help but feel Chavez deserved the right more.

"What do want me to do?" she asked meekly

"I want you to go home, Star." Chavez stated firmly "go home to what's left of your family. You don't know what your missing." he looked down at the ground and swallowed the lump in his throat, the time for tears was over for now.

"I do know." she said "I am ready to go home. But, I'm afraid to leave to you deal with this yourself. It won't stop with killing Murphy; there will be more people you'll have to kill."

"I know, and that's why I want you gone. I don't want you near here when the killing starts." he saw the uncertainly in her eyes " don't worry it'll be all right."

"I'm just afraid I won't see you again." she tried to say without crying anew, but wasn't successful. Chavez wiped a tear from her face. "don't worry, I'll stay alive long enough to find you again"
Star mounted her horse and took one last look over the Red Sands and then looked down at Chavez. "I want to tell you my real name is case you come looking for Me." she said

"Your real name?"

"Yes, remember Star is my alias. My real name is Helena, Helena Hill."

"I think I like Star better." Chavez replied, smiling for once in a long time

"I'll see you soon Jose Chavez."

"You will, I promise"

Star turned her horse and galloped away into the distance. Chavez watched her until she disappeared from sight, then he turned his horse toward Lincoln.

: end flashback: (a/n long flash back huh?)

Chavez starting walking to Star, a smile appearing on her face as he approached. And Chavez knew at least for awhile he would be free of pain