Everyone, LOOK TO YOUR LEFT! NO! TO YOUR RIGHT! NOW! Look at the center…what the hell are we doing? NOTHING! HAHAHA!! Back to more chapters everyone!
Chpt.8 Missing
It was once again a sunny morning. The sun was happily shining without a cloud in the sky. It was so peaceful that Naraku almost didn't get out of bed. He managed to arise though, drinking his coffee as he went on his daily rounds. First, he went and blasted another village, second, he wrote down his morning plan to get rid of that horrid dog demon Inuyasha, third, make some cookies…without Kohaku seeing him, and then lastly, let the samiyosho loose and feed the Sesshy fans.
He dragged an entire bag filled with Sesshomaru plushies and raw steaks to the pit where the creatures laid. He began to feel an odd feeling as he approached. Perhaps because there was no noise coming from the bowels of the pit, nor was their any smell of those putrid morons or their howls or arms flailing from the sides. Even their big 'I love Sessy' signs were left un-used.
Naraku stuck his head a bit close to the side and yelled out, "Hey! Hey, its lunch time!"
There was no answer.
"HEY! Don't you hear a single word I'm saying?!" He then chucked a steak in the pit, "LUNCH!"
You could hear the steak splat on the ground but no howls or munching.
"…what's the matter with you guys? You sick?" Naraku began to get aggravated, "Oh I get it…You guys are ignoring me! And this is the thanks I get for feeding you and letting you stay in that dank pit! FINE!" He then sat by the side of the grass and huffed.
Kohaku suddenly appeared and approached the demon he called master and fruitcake. He examined what his master was doing but came to no conclusion how this happened.
"Uhhh….master," Kohaku began, "What's going on?"
"Those stupid Sessy fan girls are ignoring me. They think there too good for me. WHOPDIE FREAKIN DO! They can burn for all I care."
Kohaku looked down in the cell and replied, "There's nothing in there, you know."
"?"
Kohaku gave a sigh, "There's no one in the pit."
"WHAT HOW COULD THAT BE?!"
"Maybe because of THE LADDER THAT IS STICKING OUT OF THE SIDE?!"
Naraku suddenly saw the ladder poking from the other side where a punch of footprints were seen rushing away. "Oh…look! A LADDER!"
"ARGH!" Kohaku howled, "I'm ruled by an idiot!"
"Hey! Stop calling me an idiot! I don't need to be called an idiot by anyone. Especially you, you are my servant my slave! You do as I command."
Kohaku perked up by this. Maybe his master wasn't as much of a buffoon as he thought. "Then master, what do you want me to do?"
Naraku gave an evil smile, "GET ME A DAMN SAMMICH WOMAN!"
Kohaku just stared at him and then replied, "I have a better idea, let's find the lost fan-girls."
"But first a SAMMICH!"
"Lord Naraku, we've been through this. SAMMICH is bad spelling. We say sandwich."
"Awww! But SAMMICH sounds cooler!"
"And no one cares!"
Naraku began to whimper by this remark.
"Look, we should go search for the fan girls. There's no telling what kind of damage they could do."
"Well, they couldn't have gotten that far. I mean, they'd have to go some distance to get anywhere…so….Kohaku!"
"Yes master?"
"Gather Kaugra and Kanna, we're going on a hunt."
"Yes my lord." Kohaku then rushed off to gather the minions.
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Everyone gathered around the big hole once filled with screaming fan-girls.
"Heheheh…" Naraku evilly chuckled, "Everyone's here then eh?"
"Well duh." Kagura moaned, "You only have three people living in your house."
"You and Kanna don't count as people!" Naraku hollered, "You guys are part of me!"
Kagura gave a moan; she didn't want to deal with Naraku's rants. "Just tell us why we are here."
"Simple, you three is going to go searching for my missing Sesshomaru fans, while I stay here and make flyers."
"Wait….what?" Kohaku was confused.
"Well, I GOT THESE NEW MAJIC MARKERS AND I WANT TO TRY THEM! They are smelly markers!!!!" He then pulled out the box from his robes, "See? The black one smells like liquorish, the red smells like cherries, and the green smells like apples…"
"Wanna know what my favorite smelly marker is?" Kohaku asked.
"What?"
Kohaku immediately grabbed the box, threw it to the ground, and started to stomp on them. "A BROKEN MARKER!!!!"
Naraku gave a pout, "You never let me have any fun!"
"RRRRGH….this is pathetic." Kohaku gave a sigh then took control, "Kaugra, you're going to search for the fan-girls from the sky, Kanna, you make posters…."
"And I stay at home and guard the fortress!" Naraku finished.
"….No….your going with me and we are going to the police station to find out if they found them….or at least put in a missing person thing."
With a slight whine from Naraku, everyone set off.
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Naraku found himself dragged into a police station. He gave a verry long sigh and moan from this.
"UUUUUUGH! Kohaaaaaaakuuuuuuuuuu……"
"If you're going to say you're bored, I don't care."
"But Kooooooohaaaaaaaaaakuuuuuuuuu!"
"Fine," Kohaku pulled out a dollar and handed it to his master, "There's a candy machine over there, go pick out something."
"………………………"
"………What is it?"
"Well……..do they have demons in the machine?"
"No! RRGH! Just come on!" Kohaku dragged Naraku to the front desk, "Hello, we have something to ask."
An officer moved towards them and replied, "Why hello there, what can I do for you?"
"We would like to know if you've seen some people."
"Oh…you've lost someone….hmm….well we have a lot of missing people this month. Here, let me pull out our book." The officer slides a huge book towards them. Printed on the top was Missing People. Kohaku opened the contents and began to skim them. Naraku began to look with glee.
"Damn…." Naraku whispered, "Most of these people are those idiots I killed last week when they said to me "Hello Miss". I am not a chick!"
Kohaku finished jotting through and shook his head, "None of these are the people we need to find."
"Oh dear," The officer said in a worried tone as he pulled out a piece of paper. "Why don't you tell me some stuff about them and we'll file a report. So, how many people are missing."
"I'd have to say about…..45."
"45?"
Kohaku gave a nod, "And we made flyers, here." He handed one of the flyers Kanna made. The officer opened it to see HUGE black letters reading GIVE ME YOUR SOUL
"And they are all girls."
"All…girls? Are you guys making some sorta dirty movie?!"
"No of course not! They were our demon-dog begone program!"
The officer seemed to calm down, "Oh! Okay, now I understand." The man immediately pulled out a box. "Now, I don't do this every time, but I feel bad for you fellas. Use this, they'll come running back."
Kohaku gave a boy as he grabbed the box, "Thank you. Come on Naraku."
"Hope you find those missing people soon!" Naraku said with an evil grin as the two left.
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Everyone gathered back to the moat as they started to empty the box.
"Will this really work?" Kohaku asked, "I mean…this stuff is a bit….odd."
"Let's just use it." Kaugra announced, "It's our only chance."
Kohaku gave a sigh, "Fine….Here I go….."
He and Kanna grabbed a bunch of books and her hollered, "WOW KANNA WE HAVE A LOT OF YAOI FAN COMICS HERE! LOOK AT ALL THESE DIFFERENT SEREIES! I MEAN, WE HAVE EVERY SINGLE TYPE A CHICK WOULD WANT! WHOOOPS!" They then dumped them all into the pit, "OH NO! OUR YAOI FOR FANGIRLS ALL FELL DOWN THAT PIT!"
They waited in silence for several seconds. They let the echo of Kohaku's voice disappear….then….
KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH a horrible howl cried out. A stampede of girls came charging in the distance, each one pushing each other trying to get to their destination first. Once in range, they dived into the pit, letting out girly high pitched screams. Naraku and his minions could only watch.
"WOW!" Kohaku gasped, "That's just insane!"
"I wonder if this is like watching lemmings jump off a cliff." Kagura wondered.
"Mission accomplished." Naraku happily said, "An excellent victory for us! Now, for our next plan….Kohaku…..MAKE ME A DAMN SAMMICH WOMAN!"
Guys…..I am soooo sorry for running this one late! I am reeeeally sorry! I've been attempting to do some artwork and got carried away. Plus, school has been hard. Other than that….I am back! Be happy! YAAAAAAAAY! And thanks you guys for the letters asking me to continue this. It makes me extremely happy to know that people enjoy my writing. THANK YOU ALL! Next chapter…..Naraku meets THE DREADED CONVENTION!