It's me again! I am here with a fanfic I came up with during one of those nights when you feel like you'll never be loved and your whole life feels like it is under the control of someone else. Of course a certain song helped also, All I Ask of You from The Phantom of the Opera, very pretty. Anyway, this will be in parts or large amounts at once. I figure this will help me make my chapters longer if I get in the habit of typing a lot. Well, I hope you enjoy this story! I do not own Sailor Moon! Just a scroll of Darien and Serena, with Serena's face covered...

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Finding Me-Part One

I am not myself. I do not make my own decisions, I do not control my life, my family does and they always have.

"She will go to the finest business school money can afford and own the biggest corporation in the country..."

I had gone to the finest business school for 4 terrible years after high school and 3 years after, with dad pushing me, I began that corporation.

"She must learn ballet and piano, like every other refined lady in town."

My feet and fingers were assaulted every Monday, Tuesday, and Friday.

At 25 I was a complete puppet with my mom and dad pulling the strings in every direction.

They never knew that I wanted to be a writer. I wanted to live in Ireland and run through meadows when it pours the rain or climb trees! I wanted to be free.

"It is better that she marries when she is older, around 35 or 40."

I fell in love at 23. His name was Darien Chiba.

"She must marry a wealthy man who is successful and can support her in her old age."

He owned a small arcade in the downtown of the city. He lived in a 4 story apartment with boarded up windows and children playing hopscotch on the sidewalk.

I first met him in his arcade. I had come in after a board meeting for my business which I won't go into detail about.

Anyway, I had come in after a long, boring board meeting and I was just annoyed! I took it all out on him over the stupidest thing.

"I'll have a chocolate swirl milkshake with a cherry on the top."

Of course he caught my eye with his deep blue eyes and black hair. He was a very handsome man, but I hid my attraction behind my glasses.

He smiled and was very friendly with the whole situation...except he forgot the cherry.

"Here you go miss." he said politely.

"Um...sir, you forgot the cherry. I gave you a specific order, a simple order! How stupid do you have to be to forget a single cherry?" My voice had raised several decibels and many eyes were turned on me.

All over a cherry...I told you it was stupid.

Everything went downhill after that but I was really, really stressed out.

"Miss, I am going to have to ask you to lower your voice or leave." He said, his voice deathly calm, his smile from earlier gone.

His hand was on the phone. This only made me madder.

"Don't tell me to lower my voice! Do you even know how many people have told me to lower my voice in my life!"

My hands slammed on the counter for emphasis.

I guess he took it as a threat because he grasped my hands and held them to the counter.

I tried to fight him off but he had jumped over the counter and tackled me to the ground.

Despite the situation I felt his muscles beneath his shirt press my stomach down and his face was dangerously close to mine. Somewhere in the tackle my glasses had been knocked off.

Dark blue stared into light blue, both startled. For a half-second...

My hand immediately flew to where my glasses had fallen and I once again covered "the windows to my soul."

Darien pulled me off the floor and escorted me to the doors with a warning to hold my temper if I ever came back.

I huffed and turned toward the park where I could calm down.

This park was my safe haven for whenever I needed to take a break from my puppet life.

I walked slowly, breathing deeply and by the time I had got there I realized how stupid I had acted. His face and the brief moment he had laid on top of me came back to my mind.

I sat heavily on the small swing that overlooked the pond.

It was now past sunset and the park was empty. I stared at the cool water longingly. Finally I stood up and removed my business suit, leaving me in only my slip and under garments. I pulled my hair from its restraining bun and removed my glasses once again.

I stood in the light of the moon, soaking up the power that enthralled me. I then smiled before jumping in the lake.

The water rushed over me, cooling my head from the arcade incident.

I felt alive and free for the first time in my life!

"Excuse me." At first I didn't hear this but soon I heard a cough and whirled around sharply in the water.

There stood the guy from the arcade. I immediately blushed at my predicament, causing him to smile.

"You forgot this in the arcade so I followed you here. Do you always swim in the park's pond?" he asked sarcastically, laying my briefcase on the harbor.

"No, this is just a private show meant for your pleasure." I smirked at his surprised face.

"Well then, shall I join you?" he raised his eyebrow in a cocky way. I shrugged my shoulders before diving underwater again.

Darien smiled and slowly removed his shirt. I chose that exact moment to come up just then and see his well muscled abs and tan skin glint in the moonlight.

He then cannon-balled into the pond, right next to me!

I shrieked and pushed him back under when he came up but he grabbed my waist from underwater and pushed me back up.

I kicked and screamed, demanding that he let me down but he only held tighter.

I suddenly stopped and looked at him. To this day I don't know what came over me but I took a giggling fit so big I could easily beat the Tellitubies!

Darien looked at me for a minute with a confused look but as laughter is contagious he started shaking with mirth to. Soon we were both bursting with laughter so much that we had to get out of the pond or drown.

I was still shaking when I reached the harbor.

"What's so funny?" He asked, still smiling.

"I have no idea." I said seriously, before bursting out in giggles again.

I wiped my eyes and leaned back to look at the moon.

"Hey..." he said softly. I turned my head to look at him. "I don't think I ever caught your name."

"Serena Tsukino and yours is?"

"Darien Chiba." We shook hands in mock seriousness and then turned silent again.

"So Serena, seriously, what compelled you to jump in the pond?" Darien asked.

"Well, swimming just makes me feel so... free! It feels like I am invincible when I swim." I closed my eyes as I spoke, remembering the feeling of swimming. "It helps me when I am really stressed out."

"You are one crazy girl Serena. You're not invincible when you swim. I mean you can drown underwater. Then there are sharks in the ocean and bacteria..."

"I know, but I can't help the way I feel when I swim." I blushed when I saw Darien still staring at me from the corner of my eye. "What?" I asked, a little defensively.

"How can you have so much passion in your life and still live as a human?"

I shrugged unsure of how to answer that. Then I started to feel self-conscious as I noticed my slip was completely see-through as was my underwear.

I wrapped my arms around myself hoping to leave something to the imagination.

"Are you cold?" he asked, mistaking my self made cover for shivers. He draped his jacket over my shoulders which I was eternally grateful for.

"Thank you." I said softly. I looked over at him as he stared at the sky. Water droplets were still running from his mess of black hair and trailing down his long sinewy chest, rippling over well formed abs and stopping at his belt.

I blushed when he noticed my eyes on him and quickly looked down, hiding my eyes under my hair and wishing I had my glasses.

Darien then put his finger under my chin and pulled my face towards his. "Why do you hide your eyes? There is so much beauty and passion there."

His dark blue eyes stared into mine, they were almost hypnotic. Our faces edged closer and closer until our noses were nearly touching.

Then warm lips circled mine. Time stood still and the heavens opened! I felt so light, so free. Tears escaped my eyes as I continued to explore this new form of flight.

I stayed like that until both of us ran out of air and separated, our breathing ragged.

Confusion shot through me and made me stand up. "I have to go!" I exclaimed, shedding his jacket and not caring that I had just exposed everything. I grabbed my clothes and ran as fast as I could, not daring to look back.

The streets were empty as I ran home, luckily making it home without running into anybody.

I stood in my apartment, against the door. There I slumped down and caught my breath.

I noticed I had once again left my briefcase behind. A piece of hair fell into my face and I carelessly blew it away.

Then I heard a sudden knocking and jerked. I ran to the bathroom and slipped on my pink robe before running back to the door and opening it.

There stood a breathless Darien, holding his shirt and jacket in one arm and my briefcase in the other.

"Serena..." he panted. He dropped our belongings and again kissed me, hungrily and passionately. I gave in to the temptation and pulled him in the door.

We never even made it to the bed but instead he laid me on the couch and began exploring my body.

That night I had felt so free, so alive, even more so then when he had kissed me.

The next morning he left after kissing me goodbye. I knew the complications that were involved, the circumstances spelled one night stand but I knew it was more than that. Love had played a greater role than lust.

I showered longer than usual that morning, my mind still replaying the events of last night. I had only just met him and at first he had to tackle me and kick me out of his arcade! How had we wound up in my apartment?

I noticed my briefcase was lying on the floor next to the door. A piece of paper stuck out of the pocket and I pulled it out curious.

"Serena,

Last night was beautiful. Now I know what you mean by being free...

555-6578

Darien"

I smiled and tucked the little note inside my business suit pocket like a great talisman.

My answering machine blinked with messages from last night, no doubt from my mother and father. I pushed the play button and sure enough there was my nagging mother.

"Serena dear, why haven't you called me back yet? I hope you have been watching your weight lately. Rosie told me she saw you go into an arcade today; no doubt buying some fat filled food that will give you a heart attack. Well call me back."

I grimaced, glad that the sneaky Rosie hadn't seen me get thrown out or get followed to the park.

"Serena! How did that board meeting go? I hope you played your good points well! Did you mess up anything? I hope you kept your clumsiness in check. You would think with all those years of ballet you would be a tad bit graceful...Well call me back!"

Dad of course. Always complaining about my klutz attacks. That was one time.

"Hey Serena, it's me, Darien. Listen I'm sure I'm not the only one who wants to talk about what happened last night. Meet me at the park at 5:00p.m. Bye."

Now that was a big surprise!

The big clock on my kitchen wall read 9:57a.m. I smiled before grabbing my briefcase and heading into another day of board meetings filled with boring speakers, all of which talk like Ben Stein. (An: The pure eye guy from the commercials? I can never remember his name but I think this is it.)

The day dawned bright and beautiful, the sun just now rising over the city skyline. I felt my entire being fill with happiness as if the sun were filling me with its light. I smiled at all the passer-bys some of which probably thought I was going a little loopy.

The whole day my mind was filled with moons and stars... and a certain pair of stormy blue eyes. Co-workers looked nervously at me, with my big smile and dreamy expression; anyone who had known me would be concerned.

One person, my friend and co-worker Ami Mizuno, actually asked me if I had breathed any poisonous fumes or possibly have smoked any unknown "substance."

I stared at the clock, willing the hands to move faster, to turn suddenly from 11:45a.m. to 5:00p.m.

At lunch I ate with my usual friends, Ami, Lita, Raye, and Mina. They all noticed my unusually happy behavior and asked if I was okay.

Now I should tell you something about my friends. My best, they have been with me since preschool. I always turn to them when my life becomes stressful. I still remember the first day we all met.

Flashback

A small girl with odd shaped pigtails of blond hair sat in the writing section of the room, working on her latest work of fairytales, told with pictures because obviously she couldn't write then.

A blue haired girl, sat in the reading section of the room, her eyes scanning the newest Dr. Seuss book, which she could actually read, without memorizing the book like the blond pigtailed one did.

A black haired girl sat by the furnace, staring into the flames, her eyes held an off cast look. Her grandfather ran the temple and was always reading flames; she also had a passion for this.

A brown haired girl wore a karate outfit and was punching at an invisible bad guy. Several boys cheered her from the reading corner.

A blond haired girl with a red bow sat in the "Princess for a Day" throne surrounded by boys, worshipping her and begging her for chores.

A particularly large child walked up to the blond pigtailed girl and pulled one of her cherished 'odangoes.'

The little girl let out a pitiful cry, similar to a puppy's wail. Four small heads turned immediately towards the sound. Two Blue, one purple and one hazel gaze fell upon the innocent girl and mischievous boy.

Lita, the brown haired girl, back flipped over while Ami and Raye ran over.

"Leave her alone you big bully!" Lita snapped, karate chopping the air.

"Yeah? Who's gonna make me?" The little boy crossed his arms and smirked, standing like a tower over all of them.

"I am!" A small, squeaky voice called from behind him. He whirled around to face Mina, who stood like a real queen from her throne, a look of determination on her face. "I demand you leave her alone!"

The boy smirked again and shook his head. "Sorry princess but no deal!" Mina just smiled and snapped her fingers. Two large boys appeared from behind the throne and stood before Mina with threatening glares pointed at the boy.

"Fine! You call me a bully..." the boy sulked away from a cheering crowd.

The four little girls gathered around the smallest one. "Hey, are you okay?" Ami asked.

Serena nodded and smiled. "Thank you all so much!"

"You're welcome!" They all sang in unison.

End of Flashback

From there on we had all become instant friends.

"I'll tell you why I'm happy but don't you dare tell a soul!" They all nodded solemnly.

"Have you guys ever been to a place called the Crown Arcade?" I asked, looking over my shoulder.

Mina's eyes lit up. "Of course, my boyfriend works there, Andrew."

"Has he ever mentioned the owner of that arcade?"

"Yes, his name is Darien Chiba, why?"

"Well, I met him yesterday and he threw me out of the arcade..." I was cut off by Lita.

"I'll kill him! What did he say? Did he hurt you? Why are you so happy about that?" she raged.

"Oh I deserved it. I kinda freaked over a cherry but I'll talk about that later. He and I, you know, hooked up." I received blank looks. "We got together, made love..." I blushed at the last part but I knew my friends would be supportive, maybe.

Ami spoke first. "Serena, you just met him yesterday and you slept with him? How could you do that? You could wind up pregnant or you could catch a disease? Did you even use protection?"

I was stunned. "Well no..."

"That sounds a lot like a one-night stand! Serena how can you sacrifice your future and feelings for something so menial." Lita exclaimed.

"But I..."

"Serena, I thought Mina would be the one to do something like this but I didn't think you would be ditzy enough! No offense Mina." Raye said.

"None taken." Mina replied. "Serena you need to go to the doctor. You of all people should not become a statistic!"

"Listen to me!" Tears formed in my eyes. "It was more than that. A lot more. It was love at first sight, I know it was. There was just too much emotion for it to be a one night stand."

My friends looked at me grimly. Tears now soaked my cheek. "I love him. I know I only just met him but it is a feeling I can't help. I don't want to feel this way what with my family but I do! I don't care what anyone says; I won't let anyone tell me otherwise!"

I then darted away, towards my only escape, the park. I had another board meeting in half an hour but I didn't care.

I ran blindly, bumping into strangers on the sidewalk and stumbling over rocks. Once I fell completely but I brushed off any helping hands and continued on until I reached the park, crowded with lunchers and small children.

I wiped my eyes and sat on the same bench by the lake, which was always empty.

The sun blazed high above the lake causing me to blink my eyes. It was only 12:30 and Darien wouldn't meet me until 5:00 so I stood and brushed myself off.

I made a firm resolution right there to not let any one change my mind about Darien. I loved him, that was enough.

I pulled my billfold from my pocket and fingered the bills. This moment called for a shopping spree!

Later

I walked out of the last shopping store in the district holding a small blue bag, along with many others. I had vowed to buy at least one thing form every store, to take up time.

I glanced at the clock tower, 4:06. "Crap!" I exclaimed. I had been shopping all day and I still had time to loose.

The bags were getting heavy so I decided it was time for a quick drop off and maybe an umbrella pickup. While I had been shopping the sky had went from pleasant blue to an angry grey. I shuddered hoping the rain would hold off until after I saw Darien.

I walked quickly to my apartment which was only about 5 blocks from this store. I threw my bags on the couch and quickly grabbed my umbrella before heading out. I noticed my answering machine blinking though so I came back and pushed the button, hoping Darien hadn't called to cancel.

"Serena? Serena Tuskino! How could you do this to your family! Your father and I are furious! First you confess you are in love with a boy you hardly even know and then you run out on a very important business meeting that could determine your future! You had better have a good explanation when you call back!"

The machine stopped with an angry click which made me wince.

"I don't care." I whispered, wiping the tears that I knew were forming. I walked back out and locked my apartment. The clock tower now read 4:30. I had about 30 minutes to kill before meeting Darien.

I walked slowly back down the deserted street, apparently the clouds had scared off the regular walkers who opted now for cabs. I stared into shop windows, admiring the pretty things.

That was when I saw it. A small shop with brick walls and a dark blue door. A wooden crescent moon hung over the door and on the window "Crescent Moon Wonders" was painted in old, curvy, silver letters.

I stared at the beautiful writing before finally entering. It was dark inside; the lamps seemed to be covered with a thick blue material. Crescent moons and stars hung from the ceiling in various places.

Stands stood against the wall, holding mostly small shiny objects.

I looked closer at one of the stands. Beautiful figurines of the moon, unicorns, stars and other like things were scattered across a silver cover.

I marveled at the beauty, it was like I was actually on some distant sort of moon, the kind you read of in fantasy novels.

While I was observing I didn't notice the small woman who slid out from behind the desk. She stood next to me, amazingly shorter than I, so that when I turned all I saw was the top of her head.

"Oh! Hello." I exclaimed. I stepped back from her and held out my hand. The small woman took it gently and sort of moved it. She seemed weak; her eyes were wide and a deep blue, almost black. Her hair was black and was cut shoulder length.

"Hello." she replied gently. "My name is Hotaru." I smiled as best I could even if she was a tad bit creepy.

"Can I help you?" she asked. I looked around.

"Um...Sure. I was wondering what this place is about?" Stupid question but I had to ask.

Hotaru smiled, like she was used to the question. "I have always felt a connection with the moon, like a pull." She looked at me. "I'm sure you've felt it to. Anyway, one night I had this dream." her eyes glazed over with memory.

"It was beautiful! There were roses everywhere, all different colors and oh! The smell was delicious! Unicorns and fairies were everywhere! It was dark and millions of stars streaked the sky along with a silver crescent moon. There was a beautiful princess with long golden hair and a gorgeous prince with dark hair and oh so tall!"

A picture of Darien flashed into my mind but I shook it away. "It was such a sad story for them. But it started so beautifully. The man and woman saw each other in the field and embraced. They stood there for a moment, not doing anything. Finally they separated and he whispered something in her ear which made her smile. They embraced again and then they held hands and started walking away, to where I don't know until I saw a dark cloud."

It seemed so ominous, so dark I could feel the fear from the two. They stepped back but the cloud just moved faster. The girl tried to run screaming but the cloud just reached out and grabbed her! It then devoured her, leaving nothing a shred of bloody fabric."

Hotaru's face then turned sad, almost ashen. "The cloud then rolled away, leaving the man with the shred in his hands. He was sobbing. Rain began pouring down around him so heavily it had to sting. I then heard him cry out in an anguished moan. A sword had hung by his side which he unsheathed. He tied the shred on and then pierced his own heart with it."

Tears were now streaming her face as if this had been real and had happened to someone she had actually known! "There was blood, so much blood! The unicorns ran, fled the field as did the fairies. The flowers all turned red with his blood and then, so did the moon." she finished, her face grey and tears still running down her face. Her eyes were open wide with the memory.

"I've had that dream every night for the past two years. So I opened this store, in remembrance of the lost love. Everything you find here was in the dream. I made figurines of the couple over on that counter. You look a lot like that girl." Hotaru then slowly made her way back to her desk where she sipped a glass of water and started reading a book with a blue cover.

I stood for a minute in that spot before going to the back where a small light was turned to a stand on which several small figurines were arranged.

A girl knelt on the ground, a serene smile on her face; a man was walking up behind her, also with a smile. The next figure was with both of them embracing, the next of them being torn apart by a grey mist, blood running from the girl's throat where the mist seemed to constrict.

I had to admit I did look like the girl and Darien looked a lot like the man. My hands started shaking as I picked up one to examine it closely. No, they were different, they had to be. I gently set it back down and strayed to the book section which had sufficient lighting compared to the rest of the store.

Mostly the books were about the moon and stars, some astrology, a little bit of sci-fi. But only one fantasy.

It was pushed under a larger encyclopedia about the moon and its cycles but I could tell right away it was fantasy.

The cover was littered with small moons and twinkling stars. The same two figures that were in Hotaru's dream were on the cover. Under the picture the author's name was small. "Hotaru Jaques..." I whispered. Crescent Sadness, it was called. For some strange reason I was drawn to buy this book, like I needed to know the whole story. Like these two people in her dream could affect or have affected my life.

I carried the book to the counter and laid it down. "$2.50." Hotaru said softly, watching my face closely. I quickly paid and carried the book out to the street not hearing the whisper that was Hotaru's voice saying "She's the one..."

The clock now read 4:55! I smiled and stuffed the book in my back pocket before taking off down the still deserted sidewalk.

I arrived at the park just as the clock tolled the new hour. Darien sat on the bench by the lake, an umbrella placed beside. I realized I had left mine at the store but ignored it.

"Darien!" I exclaimed. He turned around and smiled gently.

"Hey." he said, his voice a little dull.

"What's wrong?" I asked. He seemed distracted, confused, hurt?

"Serena, we need to talk." I felt my heart quicken.

"About what?"

"We can't...I can't," Darien started. He ran his hand through his dark hair. "I can't see you again."

I felt my heart stop. "Why!" Already tears formed on my eyelids.

"I'm not like you. Your mother visited me and I found sense in what she said." Even as he talked like he meant it, his eyes betrayed him. They were hurt and angry.

"My mother is wrong!" I exclaimed, feeling my heart crack. Rain started dropping from the sky in heavy drops. "I don't care what anybody says!"

"Serena..." He took my hands into his and leaned down slowly. His kiss melted my heart and made my knees shake but somewhere I knew it was meant for a goodbye. He pulled away and brushed my face with his hand. Rain was now falling mercilessly.

"Why?" I whimpered again, my tears mixing with the rain.

"Because."

"I hate you!" I screamed. I don't know where it came but my anger then rose to my mouth and came out! "Leave! I don't care! I knew all you wanted was sex! Everyone told me but I wouldn't listen! I hate you Darien Chiba!"

His eyes looked down and when he looked back up they were filled with tears. "I love you Serena Tuskino." He then walked away. I haven't seen him since.

!#$&

Okay, it sucks so far but I will pick up the pace soon I promise! I am hoping to make it sad but sweet and something you guys will be dying to read! Hopefully you'll put me on your favorites list! (Hint, Hint) Please review! I could use the feedback to help improve my story, any ideas, criticisms, etc... are appreciated! Remember, reviews are here to help make us writers better! Well, I'll go! Love to all! God Bless!