I couldn't stop staring at her.
Nombre de Dios, I thought when she smiled and the moonlight danced in her eyes.
We had just left the winter dance and were now standing on the beach. I had put my jacket over Susannah's shoulders, because it was cold out. When I had slipped it on, my fingers had brushed up against her soft, silky skin, and I swear I went into convulsions of ecstasy.
We were alone and Susannah was looking out into the water, while I stared at her.
She was humming a song from the dance; a song I wasn't familiar with. She looked so happy and beautiful. Definitely beautiful.
"Oh Jesse," she said quietly while leaning up against me.
"Yes mi querida?" I asked while I slipped my hands around her waist.
I was leaning down to kiss her, when she mumbled, "Let's go back to my place."
My head snapped up from our almost kiss, and I stumbled backwards.
"Mom and Andy are away for the weekend, David is at a friend's house, Jake is at his dorm, and Brad is at an after party."
I looked at her, mi querida. Would I be able to control myself if we were alone? No, probably not.
"Please, Jesse? Oh pretty please?" She begged, "I promise I'll be good." She looked so serious (and gorgeous) that I fell for it and nodded my head swiftly. Even though she promised to be good, I couldn't guarantee that I would…
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I followed her into her room, and sighed as I always did. Somehow Susannah's room always felt like home to me, especially when she was in it.
She turned around when I sighed and looked at me looking at her. I raised one of my eyebrows and she sauntered over to me. God, she was beautiful. How could I have ever have lived those 170 years without her? I thought while she slipped into my arms and teased me with her lips hovering just below mine. Even with her heels she was shorter than I. I loved that though, the ability to sweep her off her feet. The fact that I could bend down and kiss her any time I wanted. How did I get to be so lucky?
I just stared at her and shook my head in disbelief. My Madre would be rolling over in her grave if she knew what Susannah was wearing. It was mildly conservative for this day and age, but back when I was born, if you wore something like that, you were considered a prostitute, and even they wore semi-appropriate clothing.
However, when Susannah wore stuff like this dress, I didn't care about my morals or hers. All I could do was stare at her and yearn to feel her soft lips on mine. I wanted to make her breath ragged, to carry her off and have my way with her. I wanted to tell her how much I loved her every moment possible.
I dreamed about her. I couldn't help it; she danced in my dreams. And my dreams were nothing to be spoken out loud, ever.
I snapped back to the present and saw that querida had slipped out of my arms and was nowhere to be seen. I looked around anxiously, and after a moment she called my name softly from the bathroom doorframe. I spun around and my jaw dropped, literally.
If I thought she was stunning with her clothes on, I had a big surprise when she walked over to me with a limited amount of clothing on. Usually I would have protested, but I couldn't find the words to tell her how much I wanted her, much less to scold her. And why would I want to scold her, anyways? She was beautiful, and I could control myself. Maybe. If I tried really hard, I could.
I watched her as she sauntered over to me, swinging her hips gracefully. Nombre de Dios. I was going to have a heart attack.
"Hi," she said to my confidently while circling me in her what she called "kitten heels". She was damn sexy, and I felt the sudden urge to ravish her.
Nombre de Dios! This had to stop or she was going to make me do something I would regret terribly. I mean I would enjoy it—I have no doubts about that, but I would regret it.
"Susannah," I said trying to make my voice steady, but all that came out was a squeaky voice.
"Yes?" She asked me in a sexy, husky voice. I was about to tell her to stop, when she put a finger to my lips to silence me. It worked.
Susannah leaned up and kissed me lightly on the lips.
"Tease," I managed to whisper when she pulled away. She shot me a bemused and sexy as hell grin.
"What do you mean?" She asked, trying to sound innocent. She circled me again. I watched her—let my eyes travel down her body, and not feeling one bit ashamed of it. Then she stopped and put her palms flat on my chest. I looked down at her and then checked her out again. I couldn't get enough. It was those damn kitten heels, I swear.
Then I reached out and touched her silky, soft skin. God, it felt like a dream. Her whole body quivered in delight and I applauded myself silently. What can I say? I like to have my ego stoked once in a while. I slid my hand from her shoulder to her neck and pulled her slowly towards me so I could kiss her. Susannah's eyes locked with mine as I pulled her close to me and then she gasped as my lips enveloped hers.
God, she tasted so good. Like honey and strawberries and sweet, pure love. I let my hands roam over her naked back, while hers fell to the bottom of my stomach. I was getting hot after only a couple of seconds and needed to take off my shirt. Of course she was more than happy to help.
Once I was shirtless, we again started kissing. Mi querida was great at it. I left her lips and trailed kisses down her neck, until I found that spot where her collarbone dipped. I kissed it softly and she let out a moan. Oh God, just hearing that moan made me go wild. It enticed me to kiss it some more, and this time she moaned my name.
"Oh Jesse," she hoarsely whispered as if someone would hear us.
"Yes?" I whispered into her neck while coming back up to her lips. My hands were exploring her hair now, which was endless.
She let me kiss her, but then slipped away and nuzzled my neck. I groaned; I couldn't help it. Susannah knew my weak spot: the part of my mandible right under my right ear. She kissed me while rubbing her hands slowly up my chest and then wrapping her arms around my neck.
I took this moment to scoop her up and lay her down on her bed. I stood back for a moment and looked at her; bathed in the moonlight coming in from her bay window. I was just about to lean onto the bed and kiss her some more, when a warning flag popped up in my head. This would lead to something that I knew I wouldn't be able to stop.
Slowly I backed away from the bed topped with mi querida, and watched as her eyes fell with disappointment. "We must stop now, while we can. You understand, don't you, querida?" I said to her softly while coming over and sitting down on the edge of the bed. I bent down and picked up my shirt. I slid it on and buttoned it half the way up, then looked at her.
She was hunched over, her back to me, and her shoulders shaking softly.
"Querida? Are you okay?" I touched her shoulder and turned her around slowly. With only a glance I could see the tears that dripped down her face. She had no idea how much it hurt me when she cried. Each tear was a blow to my heart.
"Tell me why you are crying, querida," I said quietly.
Susannah looked up at me, her eyes filled with tears threatening to spill over her soft cheeks at any moment. "You don't like me, do you?"
This caught me off guard and I stood within the second. Of course, this just caused her to gasp and bury her head in her hands. I went back to the bed and slipped my arm around her shoulders. Then I leaned up against her headboard and let her lean up against me.
"How could you ever think that, mi querida?" I whispered in her ear.
"B-b-because!" She complained in-between sobs. My face contorted into a worried and hurt one.
"Susannah, I love you. That is why I stop, because I love you. Trust me, I want to do whatever you want to do, but we must wait. You will be happy that we have waited when that time comes."
"B-but that's going to be for for-ev-er!" She whined some more and it amused me.
"It will come, Susannah. And when it does, we will be great, and happy, and in love."
"But aren't we in love now?" She asked, turning around in my arms to face me. Her makeup was streaked from her tears and I did my best to wipe them away.
I sighed. "Yes, querida. But you know my reasoning. We must wait. There is other stuff to do besides…" I trailed off. Talking to mi querida about sex was—well, it just felt awkward and embarrassing.
"Like what?" She asked suddenly interested.
"Well, um," I paused and she just looked at me expectantly.
"You see?" She said. "We can't do anything because it all leads to—"
I cut her off. "I know! I know!" I said while pulling a hand through my hair. Nombre de Dios, why did this have to be so damned hard? Why couldn't I just get over myself and do what would make her happy?
"How about a compromise?" I said to her after a minute of thinking.
Susannah raised her eyebrows and then leaned into me. Our naked skin touched and I shivered.
"Just kissing," I said in a warning tone.
Susannah nodded and then kissed me, slipping her tongue into my mouth, and I swear I never thought I could feel so alive.