Don't Be Hard On Yourself

Summary: Basically comic background with some minor changes, early years with the 5 original X-Men. Jean tries to console Scott after their first encounter with Magneto. Jean gets more than what she bargained for. Rated T for sexual content.

It was a long day. It was the X-Men's first missionagainst Magneto and his Brotherhood. In the end, the X-Men took a beating but managed to stop Magneto before he hurt any more innocent civilians. But to the five teens, who made up the X-Men, they saw it neither as a victory or as lost.Everyone got pretty banged up.After a mission debrief with the Professor and a quiet dinner, everyone headed to bed, exhausted. Jean finished brushing her teeth and changed into her comfort (sleep) clothes, gray sweats and a simple tank top.

She was worried about Scott. This was his first command of a mission outside the danger room. The professor praised everyone for a job well done but Scott didn't think so. Jean could tell he was beating himself up. He was extra quiet on an already quiet evening. In the few years she's known him, she found him to always be so critical of himself. The five of them have bonded in their time in Westchester, they were a family. Among them all, Jean came from the most stable of backgrounds. Hank was a castaway from his family after finding out he was a mutant. Warren came from a very wealthy family but they sent him away rather than deal with the embarrassment of having a mutant in the family, likewise for Bobby. Jean was not sent into exile but her parents sought Xavier's help after Jean had a mental breakdown after the death of her best friend. Her parents loved her and welcomed her home every time she did.

Scott, on the other hand, had no family to be ignored from. Jean knew he had been orphaned and had a hardest childhood of them all, but only Scott and Xavier knew the real story. Scott hardly says anything about his childhood. But one late evening when it was just Jean and Scott up, he opened up a little bit to her. He didn't tell her all the details but said that his parents died in a plane crash, to which he and his little brother barely survived. Jean didn't even know he had a brother. In fact, she thinks that no one else besides the Professor knew. His name was Alex and he was adopted before Scott woke up from his injuries. And that Scott was shifted around from foster home to foster before ending up on the streets and being discovered by the Professor.

His story pulled at her heart, but Scott didn't want her pity. And she didn't pity him rather it endeared him in her eyes. It explained a lot of why he was not as outgoing as the others and it completes the story as to why he always had to wear ruby quartz glasses. After that night, her and Scott became actual friends. The four guys were there before she came and they bounded easily (being guys). When she arrived, it changed the dynamics of things. She quickly became friend with Hank, Bobby, and Warren (especially). But Scott proved more difficult and just needed a little bit more time.

It was late and everyone was asleep. Jean got up and walked down the hall. Sure enough, she saw Scott's door slightly a jar and the light on. She peeked in and saw him sitting on his bed, his back towards the door. She knocked and Scott turned around and she let herself in.

"Hey Scott."

"Hey Jean. What're you doing still up?"

"Same reason why you are… how you doing?"

"I'm alright."

She sat down on his bed, both of them perpendicular to each other.

"You don't sound it."

"You must be a mind reader."

Jean gave a chuckle. He had a dry sense of humor and sense of sarcasm that could only come from Scott, which she found both funny and annoying at times.

"So you want to tell me what's up or do I have to probe you."

"Probe me."

Jean lightly punched his arm. Scott was the most disciplined and mature out of all of them, but he managed to sneak in a few dirty lines here and there. His head turned back towards the window. Jean continued to look at him and study him. He was wearing plaid boxer shorts and a white wifebeater. The state of his undress did not go unnoticed by Jean, she was after all a teenage girl in a house full of guys. It was no wonder her parents always called her to go home. She could sense he was tense, it was radiating out of him telepathically and physically.

"14 injured, 5 critically and 2 dead."

"Scott don't.."

"2 dead, Jean.. If we had just.."

She put his arm around him and rested her head against his shoulder. Scott wasn't very physical person but Jean knew he was upset.

"Don't do this to yourself Scott." She said softly. "Don't make it a numbers game.."

"There were just innocent people."

"Yes they were but we didn't kill them. If you were the one that flipped that bus open, then go ahead and blame yourself, but you didn't so stop it."

"This was our first mission.. our first mission.. what happens with number 2."

".. I'm sorry to disappoint you but I could barely read minds, let alone predict the future."

"This is not funny."

"No, it isn't but you're being too hard on yourself.. AGAIN. People were hurt..but what's important is that we stopped Magneto from hurting more pople.. killing more people… focus on that."

"But.."

"Shh!" She pinched his shoulder which made him flinch. "Yes we could've done more but we gave it our all out there.. that's all we could do.. be glad no more people got hurt.. be glad that none of us were hurt… well not too badly anways."

Scott paused before responding. "Remind me to ask the professor why he made me the leader?"

"Don't worry, I will." Jean said with a big smile. He finally smiled. Leave it to Jean to get him out of his shell. He felt better. He needed someone like Jean to calm him down and gain perspective.

"Finally, a smile.. its about time.. you're so tense .. see look (pinching his shoulder again)."

"Ouch."

She took her other hand and pinched his other shoulder.

"Hey cut it out."

"For the safety and sanity of future missions, you need to relax more .. starting now." Despite his objection, she continued to massage his shoulders, which after the day Scott went through, felt pretty good (though he didn't want to admit it). Jean stopped when she noticed some bleeding on the right side of his lower back.

"Scott, you're bleeding." With out realizing it, she immideatly lifted his shirt to reveal a small but bleeding cut. "Take your shirt off, let me fix that before it gets infected."

"Yes, Dr. Grey."

"Hmm.. Dr. Grey.. I like the sound of that.. now shirt off Summers !" Jean went into Scott's bathroom and came out with an alcohol and a bandage. Upon seeing Scott on the bed with only his boxers on did she realize that he was actually ON his bed with only his boxers down. She tried to put down out of her head as she sat back down and tended to his cut.

"Oww… that stings."

"Shut up you big baby, I will definitely remind the Professor why he made your our not so fear-less leader."

Jean finished tending to the wound when she noticed other cuts and bruises on Scott's body. She could tell some were from today, others were from before, while others looked much older than that. Jean inadvertently touched one, which Scott tried his best not too flinch from.

"Opps. I'm sorry."

"Really.. are you now?"

"Scott, these bruises and cuts.. you gotta watch out." She was tracing the outline of one of his cuts with her finger. Scott was getting uncomfortable but oddly enough at the same time he liked it. His neck turned body twisted to look at Jean.

She gave a nervous chuckle. "Opps.. sorry."

She was getting close too him, too close for Scott's taste. It was suddenly apparent to him as well that he was dressed only in his boxers while Jean was running her fingers down his back.

"Yeah I bet.. (trying to change things around).. I know you got banged up too today.. do.. do you want a ..um.." (offering his hands)

"um.. yeah actually that would be great.. thanks Scott."

".. um. Yeah no problem."

Jean sat on the side of the bed, Scott kneeled behind her. She parted her long red hair over her shoulders to expose her neck. Scott's hands were shaking a little bit and he tried to steady his nerve. He touched her gently and softly. She could see Scott through the mirror in front her. She never considered Scott to be ugly, quite the opposite, but she never thought of himlike "that."But looking at his reflection, she couldn't help but admit it. At first, she felt guilty. Scott was her teammate, her leader, a friend but she couldn't help it. Jean was confused, did she like Scott? She never thought of him as more than a friend but seeing him now and his gentle touch, she had an inclination inside of her that told her it was more.

For Scott, he had those, 'how did I get myself into this' feeling. From the moment he saw her, he knew she was attractive. Her red hair was even amplified through his redglasses. He didn't deny that, he was a guy after all. Attractive yes, annoying, that too, but she had a knack for saying the right things at the right moment (like this evening) and she laughed at his crude jokes and is a good listener. When she was touching him, he couldn't help but enjoy it, to which, he felt guilty himself. He was the leader, he was supposed to set an example but he couldn't help. And now his hands were on her. He also looked at the mirror in front of him and couldn't help but notice the 'snugness' of her shirt. Though he hid his feelings emotionally, physically however would prove beyond his control.

Jean felt it too. She was surprised at first but made no moves to indicate otherwise. Scott tried but couldn't stop his growing problem. Jean turned around and his hands stopped. She looked at him and they stared into each other's eyes (Jean managed to see his pupils through the glasses). Instinct had taken over and Scott leaned in and kissed her. As soon as he realized what he was doing, he stopped and pulled away.

"God.. Jean I'm sorry.. I didn't mean to.."

Jean was beside herself, shocked even but completely and utterly thrilled. Jean couldn't hold it in any further herself. She lunged on him before he could finish his sentence. He was now on his back with Jean on top of him. She kissed and this time neither of them held back. He wrapped his hands around her and they managed to reach down underneath her shirt. He tugged at it and Jean separated her lips from Scott's and allowed him to take off her shirt. Their waists were pressed up against each and Jean could feel Scott. They just stared at each other, as Scott's hands continued to roam. He reached her bra to which he approached it very slowly. His fingers reached the clasp,Jean just kept staring at him with a look that said "it's ok." He unfastened the bra and threw it on the floor. She fell back on top of him andkissed again.

He flipped her over and now he was on top. They kissed some more. Jean's hands wandered down Scott's back and sides, until they reached his boxers. They stopped kissing and Scott supported himself as Jean slowly pulled the boxers down. Scott's legs kicked around to help remove it. His boxers fell on the floor and they kissed again.

To Be Continued…

Note: Originally, this was supposed done in one shot, but the hour is late and I have to wake up early. I thought I would end it here since there's little left in the imagination as to what happens next. hehe