I am rather nervous about posting this because it is so different to anything else I have written, and I hope people enjoy it! It tracks Sara's life from birth to death and containsmy own take on Sara's past. Obviously most of this is merely speculation. If any of it clashes with either your own personal views of Sara's childhood or anything we have learnt from the series, but I have missed, then I apologize. We probably all have our own ideas about Sara and her mysterious past! Anyway, reviews would be welcome because I'm rather uncertain about this. Thanks!

Em x

All the world's a stage,
And the men and women merely players:
They have their exists and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
Its acts being seven stages…

Act One

The curtains draw on a peaceful scene. A new mother, cheeks glowing, lies in a hospital bed. In her arms, a swaddling baby sleeps serenely. The mother, with thick dark hair hanging over her shoulders, looks exhausted but happy. Her baby is beautiful; the spitting image of her. Dappled morning light shines through the window, forming random patterns on the crisp white bed sheets.

A man enters. He is carrying a bag which he places gently by the mother's bedside. She smiles up at him and he returns the smile. He sits himself down on the side of the bed and takes the baby from her arms. He rocks the child gently whilst his wife falls into sleep beside him.

Rock a bye baby, on the treetop
When the wind blows, the cradle will rock
When the bow breaks, the cradle will fall
Down will come cradle, baby and all…

IIII

Shrill, piercing cries.

"How can such a small thing make such a lot of noise?"

The woman, her once lush, thick hair now hanging lank on her shoulders, desperately makes attempts at hushing her child.

"I'm doing my best."

Her husband turns the television up, causing the little baby to cry even more.

IIII

The baby is teething. Her mother has had no sleep for days. Just as she is beginning to rest on the sofa, the crying starts again. She stands up and moves over to the cradle. Picking up her baby she feels so much love; she would do anything for her child.

"I love you, Sara."

She wanders the house, baby in arms, until Sara is asleep. Then she slowly places her back in her cradle and enters her own bedroom. She lies down on the bed, fully clothed, and shuts her eyes. All is peaceful, until the front door opens.

"I'm starving. You better have something better for dinner than last night."

She sighs and gets herself up once again.

"It will be ready in half an hour."

"Half an hour? I work hard all day and you can't even have dinner on the table when I get home!"

And Sara begins to cry again.

IIII

Sara is almost walking. She pulls herself onto her feet and toddles across the floor. She has only taken a few steps when she falls. She bangs her head on the table. She cries. Mummy is out. Daddy is on the sofa. He looks at Sara. He turns the television up. She cries more.

IIII

There is a birthday cake. It has two large candles on it. They light up the table. Sara gazes, transfixed. Her mother lifts her up and lets her blow the candles out. She needs some help with that, but she giggles a lot when it's done. Her mother laughs with her. Sara doesn't hear her laugh very often. She eats a big slice of the cake. Then she runs around the house. She got the hang of walking a little while ago. Her mother said she was a very fast learner. Then she is sick, all over the floor. She cries, but her mother tells her not to. So she stops. She tries not to cry very much anymore, especially when her father's around.

"Let's get this cleared up, shall we?"

Sara's mother does so. Sara is hungry again now. She looks longingly at the cake but her mother puts it away in the fridge. When Sara's father gets home he doesn't eat cake or play games. He shouts a little, but that's normal. Sara goes to bed. She wishes it was her birthday every day.

Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday dear Sara,
Happy Birthday to you.

IIII

One day, Daddy doesn't come home from work. Mummy cries a lot. Sara, who has had another birthday since the last one, but didn't get cake this time, tells her not to. Mummy still cries, but she squeezes Sara very tight. It hurts a little, but Sara doesn't say. Daddy still isn't there the next day, or the next day. Mummy cries quite a lot. Sara wants to go to the park, but they hardly ever go now. They hardly ever leave the house at all.

They did go to the hairdresser's last week though. Mummy had her hair cut off. Sara always loved her Mummy's hair but when she told Daddy that she wished she hadn't had it cut, he said:

"Be quiet, or we'll cut your hair off too."

Sara was very upset, but she didn't cry. She doesn't cry any more.

She spends the two days watching a lot of television. She is beginning to feel very hungry but she doesn't ask Mummy for food because the last time she did that, Mummy started crying.

The next day, Daddy comes back. He and Mummy hug a lot, and Mummy cries some more. Then everything is normal again.

IIII

One day, Daddy decides to take Sara to the park. That is very funny because Daddy never takes Sara out. She is very happy. They go out together for a walk. Sara gets tired half way. Daddy puts Sara on his shoulders and they play games. It is great fun. When they come home, Mummy has made dinner. The whole family sits together and eats. And they laugh.

The next day, Sara asks Daddy, "Can we go to the park again?"

He shouts. A lot. Sara doesn't ask again, ever.

But she always remembers that day.

IIII

On Sara's fourth birthday, she feels very grown up.

"You're a big girl now," Mummy says.

Mummy invites a friend round. She has a little girl too. Sara and the little girl play together. She has a cake again. They all eat a lot, but this time Sara isn't sick. They all sing 'Happy Birthday' and Sara even joins in with the song. It is a proper party. Mummy and her friend talk and smile a lot. Sara wishes the day would never end. But Sara's friend and her Mummy must go home eventually.

"Don't tell Daddy about our little party," Mummy says. "It can be our little secret."

How exciting, Sara thinks, and nods her head eagerly.

But when Daddy comes home he looks very cross. He comes out of the kitchen holding the box which the cake came in. He shouts at Mummy and Mummy shouts back. Then Daddy goes out. Sara starts crying. She hasn't cried for a long time.

"Don't cry," Mummy says. "You're a big girl now."

Sara really wishes she was a little girl again.

She goes to bed. She doesn't hear Daddy come home but he's at the breakfast table in the morning.

IIII

Sara's mother is beginning to look very ill. She has more lines on her face than she used to, Sara notices. And she is always looking at them in the mirror. But Daddy gets cross when he sees her doing that, so she only does it when she's out.

"Look at Mummy's wrinkles, Sara," she says. "Mummy's getting old."

Sara does think Mummy's old, but she doesn't know why that is bad. She wishes she were old. She doesn't like being little anymore. She doesn't get to play games with Mummy, but she still gets sent to her bedroom when Mummy and Daddy are shouting at each other. She wants to shout too. She tells Mummy that.

"Don't be silly, Sara," she replies. "You're only four years old."

Sara says that she doesn't like Mummy and Daddy fighting.

"It's ok, sweetheart. Mummy and Daddy still love each other."

And Sara still loves her Mummy and Daddy. So why aren't they happy? She asks this question a lot.

"You think about things too much, Sara, for a little girl. We are happy."

Sara begins to think that shouting means happy. She is more worried when Mummy smiles. But that's ok, because she doesn't do that very much.

IIII

Sara is wandering the house. Mummy is sitting on the sofa reading a magazine. Her hair has grown back. Sara climbs up beside her on the chair and begins to run her hands through it. It is silky and it smells of shampoo.

"What is hair made of, Mummy?"

"Why do you want to know that?"

"Because it's so beautiful."

"My hair's not as beautiful as yours. Promise me you'll never have it cut."

Sara promises. She continues to play with her mother's hair. Mummy never does answer her question.

IIII

Sara wakes up in bed. She can hear shouting. She gets out of bed and lightly tiptoes to her door. With a small creak, she pushes it open so she can peer through the crack. The noise doesn't disturb her rowing parents, however. She cannot understand it. Apart they can both be so relaxed. Neither gives her strict rules. And even though he shouts at her sometimes, Sara knows that Daddy loves her. She remembers the day in the park. But together, there are no smiles or laughs. Despite what Mummy is always saying, Sara knows they are not happy.

"You don't understand, do you?"

Daddy looks very, very cross. Mummy turns away, but Daddy grabs her arm. She tries to pull away but he pushes her to the ground. In one quick movement he hits her across the face. Sara runs out of her bedroom and bangs straight into Daddy's legs as he turns around.

"Sara? You should be in bed!"

"Go to bed, Sara," Mummy murmurs from the floor.

Sara turns around and walks back into her bedroom. She hears the door slam and counts to ten before peering out again; she sees that Daddy is gone. She wanders out and wraps her arms around Mummy. She is crying. Sara doesn't cry. She hasn't cried since her fourth birthday. She feels grown up.

But now she wishes she wasn't.

The curtains fall.

IIII

It is customary, but I think it is a mistake, to speak of happy childhood. Children are often over-anxious and acutely sensitive. Man ought to be man and master of his fate; but children are at the mercy of those around them

Sir John Lubbock