AN: Odd fic, charming and amusing like Stuck?

SPECS: Romance/Humor, Post war, non-canon,

Broom lover + book worm + Rule book "Brooms or Books"

At you own risk :) canon followers...

Prologue

Hermione Granger was a woman you wouldn't want to cross paths with when she's a raging body of anger or annoyance. If she helped take down Voldemort when she hadn't even taken her NEWT's, I'd bet she could take you down with a swish of her wand. But where is she now? As much as you'd like to think that a third of the golden trio lived happily in the wizarding world, you are completely wrong.

Percy Weasley, once a stuck up know it all before Hermione Granger ever came to Hogwarts, had finally come into his senses. A year after the he cut off his family he realized what he had done and took alliance with The Order. He was the insider in the Minister's office. His rudeness to his family was a façade he needed since both ministers had become so wary of Harry Potter and the Weasley family that the only way he could stay in his office was to pretend he hated both parties. Now, four years after the war ended, he's third from the newest Minister of Magic his father, Arthur. Not that he's complaining or anything, he's actually rather happy not be second to the Prime Minister. If he was then the wizarding world would think it was a biased system. Working now as the Head of Security, Percy Weasley was quite happy, but not as happy as he would like to be.

Oliver Wood, the psycho-crazy Gryffindor quidditch captain or at least that's what his house mates called him while he was at Hogwarts. The quidditch addict, known to most of his team mates on the England National Team as Woody, has everything he thinks he needs. He's got the well paying career of his dreams, he's got the goods that come with it and his team is at the head of the international standings. Although Oliver was satisfied with his career, he couldn't help but feel lonely. He's had girlfriends before, two of which were leeches who only used him for his fame. The other left him for another man whom she had bore a child with. That was the last straw. He had been a serial dater ever since and that has been for at least the past two years.

Chapter 1: Unexpected

Hermione Granger was no longer the bushy haired child she was 5 years ago. She had stopped growing height when she turned 18 though everything else grew as it should be. Her hips became wider adding a womanly curve while her breasts filled in. Standing at five foot six she had grown into the woman she thought herself to be. Her hair now limp with neat ringlets draped around her shoulders. Everything about her appearance was charming and quaint but her eyes looked like she had been through hell and back a few times.

Hermione's pretty but she's just the shell of what she used to be. Her spirit was lost when her parents were attacked just before she returned from the Great Battle. Ron had been killed. She and Harry had avenged his death. Harry was now married to Ginny. They have their own little family that Hermione is always welcome, but she decided to live in the muggle world. She almost lost her parents, she had lost her love and she lost half of who she was. As she watched over the limp body of her mother, faintly breathing she couldn't help but wish she had gotten home sooner. Her mother has been in a coma for the past 6 years while her father had withered away in his coma a year ago. Hermione often thought that to was only time before her mother withered away leaving her yet alone once again.

Through all of what Hermione's been through she knew she needed a change. So she sought for something more tangible, something she can say was her own. A career. Hermione had emersed herself in a program in an university, using up the money her parents had left her. She had more than enough, but that didn't cover the fact that she might never have a decent talk with her once brilliant mother. She pursued medicine in hopes that she could balance deaths that stained her hands with healing and recovery that she now gave to her patients.

Hermione stood up from the chair and tucked in the loose ends of her mother's bed. She leaned in and kissed her mother's forehead and said "Mum, come back soon".

She slid on her doctor's coat, straightened up her stethoscope and headed out to do her rounds. She was an intern in the hospital in Oxford. She also worked for a book shop just down the corner once in a while. This was how she sustained herself. The money her parents put aside for her, she used only for school, she rarely used it for the necessities nor does it hurt that she was on a partial scholarship. She always had the brains, no one could take that away.

-ooooOOOO~OOOOoooo-

It was alot of work but after six years, security in the wizarding world had been better. No more death eaters, a new Azkaban, which was designed by The Golden Trio. Percy rubbed his forehead, a headache was coming.

He often wondered how his brother ever survived the war and helped design Azkaban. Ron, bless his soul, never got his NEWT's nor did he pursue further education. Percy always wondered how life would be if Ron hadn't died. He imagined Ron would be a Keeper for the Cannons or maybe worked with the ministry. Ron would probably be married to Hermione Granger. But that was not the case.

Peering outside his window, Percy watched the small pitch just near his office. That was the reason he was having a headache. Scotland was hosting the World Cup and Scotland was within the Ministry's boundaries. Percy thought that it couldn't be helped that his department was putting up the security on the area. Everyone wanted to say it, but everyone bit their tongues. All feared of a disaster, all feared of another movement to attack, Percy feared the worst which made him suitable for the position of Head of National Security.

-ooooOOO~OOOooo-

Oliver Wood knew there was something legitimately wrong. As he haphazardly slumped on the ground he tipped over off his broom, gently clutching his rather excited El Capitan Wood. "Dear Merlin" was all he could think off when he was hauled to St. Mungo's. He also thought he was going to hunt down that groupie he slept with the night before. It was not the first time some groupie slipped him a little too much "arouse me" potion.

After a long wait to see a healer and Little Wood was feeling more pain as it did earlier. The healer said that they knew what was wrong with Oliver but didnt know how to deal with it. He growled in pain, "You don't know?".

Breathing methodologically to ease anxiety, Wood peered between his legs and groaned louder as tip of El Capitan brushed against the hospital gown he was shoved into earlier. He thought of one thing. "My insurance pays a ton and you don't know...", Shit he vocally breathed out.

"Tut tut Mr. Wood, we're sending you to the muggles" stated the Healer as she pried Oliver's Wand from his hands. He was going to attempt episky on himself!

"Muggle Hospital?" Oliver half screamed as he gave the healer a death glare. "Now why should I go to a muggle hospital? When I'm paying youuuu-owwww"

"Because, Mr. Wood, the potion for that cist near your groins is not fully developed yet. It has a lot of side effects like bleeding and other things. Since St Mungos does not have the expertise for your operation, we are sending you to the muggles who have perfected it…" the Healer informed him.

Oliver could only think of one thing, "This is full of Dragon Dung!"

The Healer looked at him and felt really sorry yet appalled with his colourful language. "Why don't you change into muggle clothes and we'll drive you there" She said as she handed him some muggle clothing.

Oliver snatched the pair of trousers and a shirt from the healer swearing as he slowly got up from his bed. "Those muggles better know how to fix this" He muttered to himself.

After a 45 minute drive to Oxford he was assisted by pretty young nurses into a private room. He was ordered to dress in a backless gown and made to lay on the bed as the intern doctor was going to attend to him was being paged.

-ooooOOO~OOOoooo-

Today was suppose to be a routine day for Hermione, but as always fate likes to throw in some kinks to ruin Hermione's daily plans.

"Dr. Granger?" asked a woman. Hermione looked up from her desk and replied, "Yes Suzy?"

The nurse straightened up her scrubs and replied, "We have your next patient in the room 540, Dr Lansky has asked you to take this case since all the other interns are disposed of the moment"

"Thank you Suzy. The folder please?" Hermioned asked with an outstretched hand. The blonde nurse handed her a file, "He's pretty cute, the patient I mean"

"Is he? now Suzy you know we aren't suposed to say that" Hermione said rather amused at the nurse. Suzy the nurse kept on, "He looks like an athlete you know, rather like Beckham to be honest"

Hermione rolled her eyes, ever since they received one of the Manchester United players a month ago, every woman in the hospital waited for another one of them soccer players to drop from heat exhaustion. "Beckham huh?" Hermione said.

"Sure, he's got a thick accent though. Northern isles. Fits him quite well" Suzy concluded as she followed Hermione out of the office.

"Cist on left groin…causing-" She blushed as she imagined a man looking like Beckham pitching a tent. She thought "Another one, what the hell are guys up to these days, I know women getting cists on their breasts but sheesh, must have a rough sex life to get these things on their groins.."

Stopping at the right room, Hermione walked in and found the patient was pitching a rather susbstancial tent and was angrily flipping through channels muttering "muggles". He stopped at a channel where soccer was being showed and eased back.

"Ahem" Hermione coughed thinking how he looked very familiar. "Ahem"

"Oh Sorry bout that lass" he said looking at her direction.

"Hello Mr-" she flipped through the folder and said "Mr. Wood" she then dropped the folder hastily bending over to pick it up.

"You alright there?" Asked Wood looking down at the young doctor. Hermione looked up and thought, who would've thought she'd bump into someone from her sad past.

-ooooOOO~OOOoooo-

Percy was walking into the pitch to find his old friend Oliver, since the team was practicing there. Percy thought he'd invite Oliver for lunch. They always go once a month with a bunch of people from their year. He looked up in the pitch and found no keeper. He would soon find out that Oliver was at Oxford unsettling a witch whom they haven't seen in nearly six years.

"Are you ok lass?" Oliver asked hastily as he watched the young doctor gather all the paper strewn on the floor. She had managed to reply in between muttered swearing. "Y-yes I'm fine Mr. Wood. Uhm just read your file and what a predicament."

"Well yes, who'd want to pitch a tent all the time" Oliver half laughed trying to disfuse the awkwardness.

The doctor stood up and said "Unfortunate but we can fix that problem of yours". She looked at him once more and asked if he had taken any medicine in the past twenty four hours.

"Not to my knowledge" Oliver admitted, but wasn't sure if he wasn't slipped anything at all.

The doctor looked him in the eye and said "You've got a minor cist that can be removed. But you can't do any strenuous activitity for a while"

Then a voice from the back then said, it was the voice of her superior. "Dr Granger, what is the assessment.." Hermione turned to look at her superior. A Batty old man who had a cane when he walked. "I haven't gotten to that yet Dr Lansky, it seems he is one of those cist cases we have been getting recently,"

"Granger? Now where did I hear that before?" Oliver thought loudly.

"You were saying something Mr. Wood?" asked the old man.

"Oh nothing so, heal me! I can't bloody stay on this bed all day! I have practice to go to and a game in 3 weeks!" Oliver informed the two doctors.

Dr. Lansky then took a chair and sat on it while Dr. Granger put on white rubber gloves and moved around the bed to check Oliver's groin just beneath his balls. Oliver slightly jumped as the pretty doctor felt up his leg. The old man smiled at him evilly as she was doing this, the doctor probably felt his uneasiness of a strange female touching near family jewels.

"So your assessment Granger?"

"Sir, he has a small cist on the left loin causing pressure and increasing blood flow." Dr Granger bashful said, trying to not look into Wood's eyes.

"So course of action?" This Dr. Lansky asked.

"For now we could try to alleviate blood from the main vessel on the…then he must be operated to get the cist out that making pressure on his blood flow" Hermione continued as she pressed on a spot on his leg.

"Say it doctor, you are a medical professional not a child" Dr Lansky drawled.

"We must alleviate some blood by drawing it from the main vessel on the penus itself, we should also get him to get a whole body catscan to narrow down" Hermione finally breathed out rather quickly.

"Good! Now you can unhand Mr. Wood, you are to be working with Dr. Lee on this…" Dr Lanksy finally said and walked out chuckling as Dr Granger took off the rubber gloves she had on.

Oliver still feeling uneasy, was trying to shrug off the feeling. He watched as Dr Granger's threw her gloves into a can. He watched her as she clicked close and slowly shoved it back into her shirt. He noticed the moving pictures of three people before she hid it. Moving pictures?

"Dr. Granger" Oliver piped up quietly.

"Yes Mr. Wood?" Hermione said as she moved around the room gathering the rest of the paper work some of the nurse left earlier.

"I seem to know you from somewhere" Oliver stated and watched as the younge doctor lie.

"I dare say you probably don't…" Hermione said.

"Hermione Granger…bookworm…Potter's and Weas…" Oliver pursued the inquiry only to hear the doctor say "please stop".

Oliver hastily apologized and quieted down, concentrating more on moving into a comfortable position on his bed.

"It is ok Mr. Wood, I was going to leave this case, but since Dr Lansky put me on it to see what would I do I can't back out. He still marks my work here…being an intern is such a hassle" she airly said.

"Oh…Hermione…Its good to see you, and its good to know I'm in good hands...literally…" Oliver admitted. He was so scared of muggle medicine. He hoped that having a witch for his doctor would benefit his nerves a bit. Hermione looked at him and said that if had any questions about muggle medicine to ask her directly.

Hermione stifled a laugh and proceeded out into the hall but was knocked down by a running red head. She caught a glimpse of the lanky man and could have moved out of his path, but was too stunned to move. "Ron" He bumped into her and fell in a heap of limbs and apologies. She opened up her eyes and looked at the pair of olive ones looked at her in pure embarrassment. "Sorry Doctor…" He helped her up and helped her gather the contents of the folder. "Wood, your Oliver's doctor?" Hermione nodded and stood up with the folder and its contents in her arms. "Yes Ron"

"What did you say?" Percy quickly asked.

"I mean Yes I am…" Hermione responded.

"Sorry, but can I see him, he's a good friend of mine," Percy asked as he handed her her stethoscope.

Hermione nodded and motioned for the room Oliver was in. Percy just smiled and reached out his hands and introduced himself, "Weasley, Percy Weasley"

"nice to meet you let me lead you the way Mr. Weasley" Hermione offered.

"Sorry I didn't catch your name" Percy asked but followed the young doctor.

"Dr. Granger, here room 540, if you could please help us and call any relative of his please" Hermione said while Percy asked if they have met before.

"I believe so Mr. Weasley…I have thing to attend to good day" Hermione stated and walked away as fast as she could.

Percy scratched his head as he whistled low while he checked out Dr. Granger. Nice curves, pretty brown eyes, nice curly hair, pretty smile…Granger…he had a mental block. Then it clicked. She was going right again when she bumped into a door and her things fell again. She bent down smiling sweeping the hair from her face, she nodded politely and proceeded her way just after she looked back at him and smiled warmly at him. "Hermione Granger…" His thoughts was broken when a male voice from the room called out

"Oy! Carrot top…" Oliver hollered from the room.

Percy looked in to see his friend laying on the bed sitting in an angled position. He stifled a laugh as he walked into the room and pointed at the mound pointing up. Oliver frowned at him and gave him a glare. He just couldn't resist saying it

"Mate, did you screw a wall or something? Whoa, imagine if the prophet got this. English keeper is truly erect" Percy laughed. Oliver glared even more and threw a plastic cup at his laughing friend.

"Didn't ask you to come here, but since you are here, get me some water" Oliver growled impatiently.

"Right, well here…" Percy said as he went to pour him his water from the bottle on the table across the bed.

"So, what did you this time? I knew you were slipped the "potency" potion by a fan during a party, but sheesh this is going over…I feel bad for you…" Percy added on the teasing.

"No shit, Dr. Granger said something about, cist on loins, and something about too much pressure on the blood veals…" Oliver said.

"Vessels, pretty funny, wish I had a camera…" Percy said framing this fingers around a non existent lens.

"Shut it carrot top" Oliver screamed.

"What ever you say erectus" Percy laughed back.

Oliver threw Percy a dirty look and spat out "how did I become friends with you again!"

"People thought you were odd because everything that came out of your mouth was Quidditch this, Quidditch that and people thought I was naturally bound to rules…kinda just happened mate," Percy said non chalantly as if he hadn't answered that questions a millions times since they were eleven, "but I never got this affect on you. Sorry but I don't go that way…"

Oliver slunk back into his pillow and thought "he'll never let this one down".

-ooooOOO~OOOoooo-

This ever occurring was one in at least a few hundred thousands. Hermione blew the hair was in her face and sat down on her desk she was reviewing the Wood file. She sighed and remembered he plays for a quidditch team. "No wonder,"

She went to wash her hands with antiseptic soap then normal hand soap then went down to lunch. Hermione took off her white coat and grabbed her wallet and phone then headed down. On the way down she bumped into Suzy, the nurse who promised lunch, "I'll buy you lunch tommrow, we have problems in the ward-"

"Its ok, good luck with that, if I'm needed, please not me, I'm in the café…" Hermione said as she watched the nurse speed walk to the ward.

She proceeded walking down hall and walked into the lift and pressed 3. Hermione's office was in level 6, It stopped at level 5 and it swung open.

AN:

Edited July 2011 (yes I'm bored).