Story: Family Secrets

Author: Naru Shiozu

Summary: Every family has its secrets, and the Uchiha family is no different. Of course, it's not like Sasuke can tell... (The characters are quite OOC) AU & ItaSasu

Rating: R. Contains incest, self-harm, suicidal thoughts and Sasuke abuse.

Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. I simply write fanfiction based on it- terrible fanfiction, as far as I'm concerned. Please don't sue; I'm penniless!

Authors Note: My first fic- I finally got around to posting one! It's darker than I would have liked for a first fic, but I did write it a day after attempting suicide... Never mind that. It's not important.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this first piece of my fanfiction!

Also, I've only read up to volume 8 in the manga, never seen the anime (us poor UK fans) and all the info I have about further chapters is purely from LJ communities.

Flames will be used to toast a certain ex of mine.

Family Secrets

I stared out of my window and on to a cold, empty street when I heard the door to my room slide open. This was followed by the faint slide of the door again and several footsteps. Several footsteps, belonging to him and coming for me. I hadn't hid tonight. I didn't cower at the back of my closet or curl up into a ball underneath my bed. No, I knew he would find me anyway, so what was the point in hiding?

"Sasuke..." he breathed. I already felt sick.

This is my older brother and this is what he does to me, every single night. I used to plead with him, attempt to scream, do anything that would get me out of this. Not anymore though. I'm no longer going to give Itachi the pleasure of seeing me in pain.

He pulled me over to him and pushed my back up against one of the walls. Leaning down, he pressed his lips roughly against my own. I closed my eyes and, as Itachi pushed his tongue into my mouth, I imagined I was somewhere else, far away from my current reality, a place where Itachi couldn't find me. I snapped out of my dream when I realised his hand was creeping up my back, trying to pull off my shirt. As he pulled my shirt up my arms were forced into the air, letting it pass easily over my head. I was soon being "kissed" (violently) again, I felt his hands pulling at my shorts, trying to force them down. Once again, I never put up any resistance, simply continued being pushed up against the wall. I knew (rather, could feel) Itachi was excited, but I was disgusted by what my brother was doing.

Once he had successfully undressed me, he released me from the wall and shoved me on to my bed. As I lay there, naked, I felt so humiliated, and close to tears. Yeah, the great Uchiha Sasuke, crying. As I thought to myself, Itachi lowered his body over mine. This was always the part I hated the most. However, as I lay shaking, Itachi climbed to his feet, picked up his shirt (he had relived himself of it after pulling mine off) and left my room as quietly as he came in earlier.

I scrambled off the bed, fell to the floor and started searching for my clothes. As I picked up my shirt, a wave of disgust flashed right through me, causing me to drop the shirt.

"How could he do something like this...?"

He hadn't gone as far as usual though. He hadn't violated my body in the way he usually did tonight. Had I done the right thing? Had I been useful tonight? Before, he would whisper and tell me how worthless I was... as I walked home from school with him, as we cleared up the table after dinner, on the rare occasions we would sit in the lounge and watch television together...

Or maybe Itachi had been disgusted tonight. That seemed more likely. When I was lying naked, moonlight had been pouring through the window, letting Itachi see my body perfectly. He would have seen the red lines on my legs and the ribbon cuts on my forearms. That was it.

I even disgusted myself. I reached up for a small box I kept on my windowsill. I emptied its contents onto the floor in front of me: two sharp razor blades. As I tore through my flesh and thought of Itachi, it seemed easier for the blood to flow out of my arms and calves. I didn't have the energy to move myself off of the floor that night. I fell asleep on my right side; my left arm covering the pooling blood and the deep cuts now covering it and the moonlight flowing over me.

The next morning was no different. I washed, got dressed and left to meet my friends- Itachi had left the house long before I had. As I waited with Neji on Naruto (who was late again), Neji seemed to pick up on my mood.

"What's wrong with you today?"

"Hmm... Nothing..."

"I hardly think it's nothing."

"It's something I'd rather not talk about."

Suddenly, Neji seemed to understand what I was talking about.

"He did it to you again, didn't he?"

I didn't have to say anything- we've been friends long enough. As Naruto rushed up to us, asking what was wrong with me, Neji shot him a look that shut him up easily. Instead, he walked up and hugged me.

"Iruka certainly has had an influence on you!" Neji laughed.

The two argued over the sensitivity of Naruto's stepfather as we walked to school, I walked along silently. Something had gradually been building up inside of me and last night had unearthed it. The more I thought, the more I realised that this could be the last walk I would ever make to school... the last time I could spend a day with my friends. I didn't intend to go on any longer.

Extra Author's Note: I'm not happy leaving it there anymore... you see, this was semi-autobiographical. My life has changed so much since where this fic left off, so I want to give Sasuke a chance at happiness too... so expect another (final) chapter!