Disclaimer: no own sonic or any of those guys. (or Mario who appears briefly)

Welcome one and all. I'm Liz and this is my fiction Me, Myself, and Sonic.

First let me tell you, this fiction is for entertainment purposes. That means you read it when you need a good laugh. It also means that if you're looking for some good literature you should look in the drama/romance section… but not here!

If you like this story then you should also look at some of my others. I can be a decent writer when I want to, you know. :)

Without any further ado, I give you chapter one:

Chapter 1- The Insanity Begins

Sonic poked his head inside and glanced around. No sign of her… good!

He tiptoed up the stairs towards his room. Then a door behind him flew open, "I thought I heard someone!"

Sonic spun around to see a tall brunette girl standing with her hands on her hips, smiling innocently at him.

Around her neck was a paperclip chain and she was wearing a Led Zeppelin shirt and blue jeans. Her hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail.

"I… I'm not in the m-mood today Liz…" he stammered.

"Aww… Mr. Hedgy isn't in the mood today!" Liz sneered, "But I am!"

She charged at Sonic who screamed and ran into his room and pushed his bed up against the door.

He heard someone slamming up against his door, "Open this door! You're a dead man Sonic! Come out here and face your fate!" Liz screamed.

Shadow approached Liz in the hallway, "Could you keep it down?" he asked.

"NEVEEEEERRRR!" she shouted. Then her face went oddly blank, then she became depressed, "Ah, alright…" she moaned, then she put her hands in her pockets and trudged back into her room and closed the door. A faint click was heard as she locked it.

No one was allowed in her room. Shadow wondered what exactly she kept in there… probably body bags… and not empty ones!

Shadow rolled his eyes and went downstairs. This happened every single day. Liz would try to ambush Sonic when he came home and she would fail miserably.

Shadow went into the kitchen to find Tails and Amy preparing dinner.

"Hi Shadow." Amy said smiling "Was that Liz again?"

"Who else would go pounding around like a madman?" Shadow asked.

"I HEARD THAT!" Liz shouted from her room.

"How'd she hear that?" Shadow said.

"I HEAR ALL!" Liz shouted again.

The three of them stared up at the ceiling with wide eyes…

"Okay…" Tails said returning to the stove.

"What's for dinner?" Shadow asked.

"DINNER!"

"Shadow!" Tails scolded.

"Oops..." Shadow said.

Stomping was heard upstairs and Liz slid down the banister and landed gracefully in the living room and ran into the kitchen.

"Can I help!" she begged.

"No Liz!" Amy said.

"PLEEEEEASE?"

"No! You can't cook! You can't even boil water!" Tails said.

"Sure I can! Watch!" Liz ran over to the stove and started turning random knobs.

"LIZ! NO!"

Suddenly the entire stove erupted into flames.

Liz screamed and ran around in circles blocking Tails from getting to the stove to put out the fire.

"Liz move!" Tails demanded.

Liz continued to scream as she ran in circles, ignoring Tails.

Shadow pushed her out of the way and Tails pulled out a fire extinguisher and put out the fire but also ruined the food he was cooking.

"Aw man! It took me forever to make that!" Tails moaned.

Liz was silent for a moment, "Who wants pizza!" she shouted.

"We have pizza every night!" Amy mumbled.

"I wonder why." Shadow said.

"Shutup Shadow." Liz said angrily.

"Make me!"

Liz smiled as she pulled out a video tape, "If you don't then I'll show everyone the line you said to Sonic at the end of SA2B when there were five seconds left to beat the biolizard. Remember? You said-"

"NO! LIES! ALL OF IT!" Shadow screamed covering his ears.

"Now I bet everyone reading this is going to go play the final level of that game to find out what he said." Liz said, "But you have to be playing with Sonic or he won't say it!" she added to the audience.

"Shutup and call Mario." Tails said.

Liz smiled and ran over to the telephone and pulled it off the wall, unfortunately she pulled the entire phone off the wall, "Oops…"

"You've gotta stop working out Liz." Tails said.

"I don't." she replied.

The three of them stared at her and took a step back.

Liz dialed a number on the phone, which miraculously still worked, "Hello? Mario? It's Liz again! Yeah, another stove incident… just the usual okay?... great! put it on my tab!... bye Mario!"

"Why do you call Mario?" Shadow asked.

"He's Italian right? And he owns a pizza shop now!" Liz shouted.

"And who pays the tab? None of us have jobs!" Amy asked.

Liz was silent for a moment, "Yeah… about that…"

"Liz, have you been looting again?" Tails demanded.

Just then the doorbell rang.

Liz made a beeline for the door but Rouge beat her to it.

Mario, yes, THE Mario, the one with the red hat and overalls, was standing there with six pizzas in his hands, "Here's your pizzas!" he said with his funky Italian accent.

Rouge took the pizzas, "Thanks Mario." she handed him a five and closed the door. How she balanced six pizzas in one hand and gave Mario money with the other I have no clue.

"God I can't stand those Nintendo bastards!" Shadow said.

"What are you talking about? Mario's got that sexy mustache!" Rouge said as she came into the kitchen.

"Oh god Rouge, No! Don't say that! We were just about to eat too!" Liz shouted, "HEY ALL YOU UPSTAIRS! IT'S DINNERTIME!"

The sound of slamming doors was heard and Knuckles, Sonic, and Hannah sped down the stairs into the kitchen.

"Pizza again?" Knuckles groaned.

"What can you expect? Liz sets fire to the stove every night!" Hannah said rolling her eyes.

"Why you little-" Liz pulled out a whip.

Hannah screamed and ran out of the kitchen, Liz in hot pursuit.

"Hey guys! You'd better get in here before all the pizza's gone!" Tails called, as the others had pounced on the boxes like ravenous wolves.

Liz and Hannah ran back into the kitchen and joined in the mass of insanity.

Tails didn't have to join them because he always had his own pizza because he was the only one who liked broccoli on his pizza… Ewww…

When it was all over five empty boxes lay strewn across the kitchen floor. And everyone sat leaning against the wall.

"He may be from Nintendo but he makes one hell of a good pizza!" Shadow said.

"You said it!" Sonic said.

Shadow glanced at Liz and then looked back at Sonic, "How come she doesn't try to kill you when you come down during dinner?" he asked.

"It's in our treaty." Liz said holding up a printed document, "I can only attack Sonic after breakfast through before dinner. Not during or after." Liz pocketed the paper.

"…When did you make that?" Amy asked.

"Last year." Liz said.

"We only moved in three months ago." Shadow said.

"…SHUTUP!" Liz shouted, "Well, I guess we should clean up this mess." she said pointing to the cheese, toppings, and boxes scattered across the floor.

Tails was sitting at the counter and his box was already in the trash can and his plate cleared.

Everyone looked at Tails. "Oh no! I'm not helping this time! You guys made this mess so you clean it up!" He marched out of the kitchen and up the stairs to his room.

The others stood up; with some effort because of all the pizza they'd been stuffed with, and started cleaning minus Hannah who was walking into the living room.

"Where are you going?" Shadow asked.

"To the bathroom." she replied.

Then she ran upstairs.

"Man, she does this everyday! When it comes time to clean up, she runs off into the bathroom so she doesn't have to help!" Shadow said.

"It's either that or she's bulimic." Liz said, "And I'm pretty sure I didn't make her bulimic…"

"I say we leave this mess until she comes back down and then make her help us clean!" Shadow turned around to see that they had already cleaned the kitchen and he was standing in the kitchen alone. "Damn you all!"

"Aw shutup Shadow." Liz shouted from the living room, "I'll be in my room."

"She's very anti-social." Amy said as Liz slammed her door.

"Well if she wasn't then why would she be posting on this site?" Shadow said rolling his eyes.

"Yeah, she'd probably be out with her friends or something if she wasn't… GOD WHY IS SHE ANTI-SOCIAL!" Sonic added.

"I heard that!"