Kanna would never admit it to anyone, but she cried herself to sleep. She would fall onto her bed and bury her face in her pillow and cry silently letting the tears roll down her cheeks leaving a trail for the next to follow over her tan skin. She would cry for Maria.

She remembered clearly each day at twilight, that night Maria had taken her to her room and sat down beside her and told her. Told her of the deep hatred. The horrible mind-numbing way she despised all things that lived. The inferno laden depths of hell to which she had been condemned that kept her icy heart from freezing over. She spoke of the battlefield, of those she killed, the way they begged for mercy on their knees before they screamed there last words. How their blood looked on that beautiful white snow.

Kanna had cried deep soul wrenching tears as she told her. As she just sat there listening, her throat aching from her attempt to hold back her feelings. Her violet eyes had begged Maria to stop, but she had now the horrible determination to finish. She went on, saying that she never cared for anyone. Never anyone but herself. Maria had nearly herself cried as she had buried her face in her hands and told her that she would trade away the lives of her friends for herself. She said she was afraid, afraid of what she might do, afraid of herself. Her thirst for vengence that she knew could never be sated, for her dear captian's life to be returned.

And then she apologized. She apologized for her hatred, her loathing, and her telling of this to her. Kanna had nodded forlornly, understanding such a life couldn't have left her friend unscathed, and exited as if she was following a script, as if it had never happened. It had and now she cried, she cried because nobody else would.

It wouldn't have been any different than any other night as she lay there tasting the salty tinge of her own sadness, but not tonight, tonight she saw her tears. Waiting at the cracked door Maria had seen and hated herself even more but she had to enter. Her entrance was characteristically silent as she perched herself on the edge of Kanna's bed. Kanna turned away from her pillow feeling someone sit beside her and quickly sat up, not having time to hide her tears. The sun fell golden and warm through her bedroom window setting itself on Maria's feet as she whispered, "I'm sorry." Kanna flung her arms around her friend. "I don't care what you've done, and I'll protect you from yourself, and you can hate me all you want." She said resting her chin on Maria's shoulder letting the tears come stronger now, "But I'm not giving up on ya' Maria Tachibana, not now, not ever."

"Please stay." Kanna said holding her close hoping, begging...wishing. Maria nodded silent approval and Kanna smiled laying her head in the woman's lap. She brought up her delicate hand to stroke Kanna's orange hair as Kanna was nestling into Maria's warm stomach she sighed. "I'm such a child." She whispered. "Yes," Maria replied, "But I'll love you when you grow up too."

For Ashley who still hasn't given up on me...

K.S