Disclaimer: TPTB owns Atlantis, but this goofy idea is ours.
Tinuviel Undomiel: Yep, we have finally updated. Sorry this has taken so long, but it's out at last. Pretty funny Teyla/Ronon stuff, my sis is a genius when it comes to them. Enjoy.
Nerwen Aldarion: Hey this was a fun chapter that I'm certain you Teyla/Dex fans will enjoy.
Chapter 2: Diner Girl
Night time in LA is party time. All the bright lights go up and the crowds come out. At night was when trouble revealed itself. John stood on the balcony of the suite, and listened to the sound of police sirens.
"Music to my ears," He said to Ronon, "We should be out there."
"I know," Ronon agreed, "But it hasn't been so bad. She hasn't said a word since you and her exchanged insults. She hasn't even come out of her room in fact."
"Is that supposed to make me feel guilty?" John asked.
"Nope, just stating a fact."
John's gaze fell onto the window next to the balcony; her room. It seemed strange how he wanted to blame her for him being stuck on this bad job, but at the same time he couldn't stop picturing that smile she gave them when they first met.
He shook his head to clear the image, and turned back to Ronon, "I'm going to bed," He said, and promptly left the balcony.
After both men went to their room, a shadow crept up from beneath the balcony, and swung himself over the rail. Stealthily, he opened the sliding door as silent as possible and slipped into the suite.
He ignored the door to his right, but opened the one on his left, and locked it behind him.
Elizabeth was asleep in her bed, but stirred a bit when he shut the door. She opened her eyes and saw the man dressed in black.
She began to scream, but he stifled it with his hand over her mouth. He pulled a knife from his waist and placed it at her neck.
"Shut up or I'll slit your throat," Dalton hissed at her.
She looked at him in terror but didn't make a sound.
"Cleaton doesn't want me to kill you…yet," Dalton told her, "He told me to give you a warning. I plan to do just that." His hand moved from her mouth and pulled back the blankets. Elizabeth was only wearing a thin nightgown, which didn't hide her slender curves. Dalton took all this in with a greedy smile. He kept the knife at her throat as his other hand moved down her breasts, across her stomach and ended at her most intimate part. Elizabeth bit her lip to keep herself from whimpering as he pushed up her nightgown; bunching it up to her waist.
A sudden rapping at the door made Dalton stop his torture. "I thought I heard something, are you alright?" John asked.
"Tell him you are alright, or I'll kill you like that dealer," Dalton whispered pressing the knife closer to her skin, "Say it!"
"I...I'm fine," She called out, "Everything is…alright."
"Okay then," John called back, and then he kicked the door open. Dalton drew her up from the bed and shielded himself with her, still holding the knife.
Ronon and John held their guns cocked, but made no move to fire.
"I'll kill her," Dalton said, "Let me go, or she dies."
"I'm fine with that," John replied, making Dalton frown in surprise. John used this to his advantage, and fired a single shot into his shoulder making him drop the knife and release Elizabeth.
Ronon grabbed him by the arm and tossed him face first onto the bed. Elizabeth was shaking with fear, so John wrapped his arms around her. "It's okay," he whispered into her ear to soothe her.
Dalton didn't want to be arrested, and slammed his elbow into Ronon's face. He stole John's gun from his holster as he raced past them, with Ronon on his heels.
"Stay with her, I'll catch him!" Ronon called back as he chased Dalton out of the suite.
Dalton sped down the halls, passing the elevator and selecting the stairs as an escape. He may have been wounded, but he had a head start and was spryer on his feet. Dalton fired a shot at Ronon, but it ricocheted off the railing. Ronon fired back, but missed as well. After a race of charging down steps, and shooting at each other, the men spilled out into the lobby. Dalton fired another shot at Ronon before ducking out the door.
Ronon ran outside, but Dalton had disappeared. Panting from exhaustion, he went back inside. He saw one of the lobby attendants was on the phone, "Someone just started shooting…"
"That the police?" He asked. The woman nodded, "Let me see it," he told her, and she handed her the phone. "This is Sergeant Dex; we just had an attack from one of Henry Cleaton's men."
The Belemar's parking lot was a combination of red and blue flashing lights due to three police cars parked outside. Elizabeth was talking with one of the officers about her attack, while John watched her from a few yards away.
"So this job seem boring now?" O'Neill asked lightly as he came up beside John.
"No sir."
"She alright?" He nodded towards Elizabeth.
"A bit shaken, but she's pretty tough," John told him.
"At least we know how serious Cleaton is," O'Neill said, "She's going to need harder surveillance, and a less obvious hideout."
"Sir, what are you suggesting?" John asked.
"Consider her your new roommate."
"No, no, no, Sir you can't be serious," John replied.
"I may joke around a lot, but not here," O'Neill said.
"But, Captain…"
"No buts," O'Neill cut him off, "Go take her home."
John groaned, and grudgingly walked over to Ronon, "Get our stuff and hers; she's coming home with us."
"Really?"
"Really," John replied as he walked away from him, and towards Elizabeth. "You done?" He asked her.
"Yes, why?"
"We're leaving," He grabbed her hand and pulled her towards Ronon's car.
"To where?"
"Ronon and mine's apartment."
Elizabeth stopped walking, and her jaw dropped. "You must be joking."
"I wish I was," John replied, "But I don't have the time to go into detail about this, so come on," She jerked her back towards the car whiles she was still in shock as to there they were taking her. I'm feeling safer already, She thought to herself dryly.
"Home sweet, home," John said as he unlocked the door to let them in.
Elizabeth looked around at the place in disgust, "I didn't know you preferred pig sties to apartments, but where are the pigs?" She looked John straight in the eye, "Never mind, I found one."
John shot her a look, while Ronon just laughed. "We know it's not much, "He told her, "but it'll have to do."
"I don't have much of a choice," She replied. After examining the living room with a critical eye, Elizabeth turned back to the men, "So where will I be sleeping."
The two men looked at each other and stuck out a fist. After pumping the air three times John's fist flattened out as paper, while Ronon's turned into scissors.
"Oh man," John groaned, "You can have my room," He grabbed her arm and dragged her down the hallway.
"Why am I suddenly terrified?" Elizabeth questioned out loud. When John opened the door she saw an exact replica of the living room except with more clothes and what appeared to be a bed.
"Can someone call up Cleaton?" She asked, "I think I'd rather die."
It was a rough night for John, having to sleep on the couch. He woke up much earlier than he normally would due to a crick in his neck. Rubbing his sore neck, he left his make-shift bed, kicking it in the process, and stumbled to his bedroom. Apparently Elizabeth had done some picking up before going to sleep since some of his clothes were hanging in his closet. The bed was made up with a woman lying beneath the blankets. John stopped where he was and stared at her for a few moments. A peaceful expression lay on her lovely face, with one hand lying on the pillow next to her cheek. That strange feeling came back again. The one that was different from anything he ever felt before, even with Traci.
Turn around, John, just turn around, grab your stuff and run. He did just that.
After John took a shower, he found Ronon in the living room watching The Terminator, while Elizabeth looked appalled by what she saw in the refrigerator.
"All you have is a half empty bottle of beer, one egg and what resembles a sandwich," She closed the fridge and frowned at the cartons of Chinese and fast food take out, "Do you ever have a home cooked meal?"
"I wouldn't call it home cooked, more like home burnt," John grinned at Ronon.
"Don't make fun of my sister's cooking!"
"Why not, you do?"
"So are going to convert oxygen into carbon dioxide for breakfast?" Elizabeth asked.
"No how about we go to Danny's?"
"What is Danny's?" She asked.
"Cop hang out," Ronon explained, "Our captain is friends with the owner, and it has good food…and service."
"Oh, Ronon is a big fan of the service," John teased.
"Am I missing something?" Elizabeth asked.
"You see, there is waitress and Ronon happens to have a big crush on her."
"I do not!" Ronon protested.
"Ah, I see," Elizabeth was grinning now, "and does this waitress like him as well?"
"She was definitely drooling," John said.
"Hopefully in a good way," Elizabeth remarked teasingly, then she turned to Ronon, "So is she pretty?"
Ronon didn't say anything, and that made her smile, "So she is pretty." Elizabeth picked up her purse, "Why don't we go so I can judge whether she likes you or not."
Ronon glared at John, but he just grinned, "I think I'm starting to like this girl," John said as he followed her out the door.
The three of them were walking up to the diner when Ronon noticed something rather unusual; the people in the diner were sitting remarkably still. John noticed it too and they both silently agreed that something was wrong.
They moved slowly towards the door, and it was through the window they saw the man brandishing the gun at the counter. Teyla stood behind the register her hands up.
John and Ronon drew out their guns and Teyla noticed. Unfortunately so did the robber, or maybe it wasn't so unfortunate.
His attention else where, Teyla used a back hand kick to knock the gun from his hand. She then drew back her hand and drove a hard punch into his face then she grabbed the back of his head and slammed his face into the register. After that blow he fell to the ground. Teyla jumped over the counter and made sure he was lying on his stomach. Just to make sure he didn't think about escaping she placed one of her feet on his back.
She then looked up to see John and Ronon standing in the door way, Elizabeth behind them. Their mouths were open in surprise and both kept looking at Teyla to the man on the floor.
"You wouldn't by any chance have hand cuffs with you officers?" She asked.
John snapped out of it first, "Cuffs, oh yeah cuffs." And he rushed over to slap them on his wrists. He smiled at Teyla and then looked at his partner, "Ronon meet your soul mate."
Teyla looked at him confused, "He's into all of that Kung fu, Tai Chi stuff too." John explained. Teyla raised an eyebrow and turned to Ronon and smiled.
The two detectives called in the crime and soon a patrol car pulled up and the man was placed in apparently heading for the hospital first.
Teyla was leaning against the counter watching all of this when Ronon came up, "I uh have to question you, its standard procedure."
"Alright," She said.
"Could you state your name for the record?" He asked bringing out a small notebook.
"Teyla Emmagen," She told him not that she was paying much attention to the questions. She was busy studying the man in front of him, and needless to say she liked what she saw.
Several more questions followed all about the attack and what happened, and when she was certain that he had everything about the attack that he need several more questions started, questions that she was very confused about.
"Are you from Los Angeles?"
She narrowed her eyes wondering if this was a normal question, "No, I'm from a small town in Arizona."
"Okay," He said writing it down, "Have you ever been married?"
Her eyes widened, "Goodness me no."
John was listening to this intently and started laughing so hard he almost started chocking. Elizabeth elbowed him but even she was having a hard time keeping a straight face.
He nodded, "Are you currently dating anyone?"
"How is this relevant?" She asked more confused than ever.
"You have no idea how relevant this is, it could turn the tide of the investigation." He told her, his answer only making John laugh harder.
"No, I'm not." She answered.
"Alright, what kind of movies do you like?" He asked and this time John interrupted.
"Okay, Ronon to save you from any more embarrassment I'll make it easier for you." He then turned to Teyla, "Will you go out with this man?"
"Don't answer that," Ronon told her, "That is NOT standard questioning."
John laughed, "And asking if she is seeing anyone is?"
Ronon didn't answer; he just looked at his watch, "Oh look we have to be at the station now." Then to Teyla, "Thank you for your time."
John looked at Teyla and smiled, "He only acts this way around the girls he really likes," He explained and then proceeded to follow his partner.
"Sergeant Dex?" She called out to Ronon, he turned to her from the doorway, "The answer to your partner's question is yes." She told him smiling then walked towards the kitchen turning around once to get one more look at the sexy officer, if only all waitresses were so lucky.
"Come on, Ronon, you asked what movies she liked," John teased as they stepped out of the elevator to the officer's cubicles.
"No my favorite was the question about her being married," Elizabeth joined in.
"Would both of you stop?" Ronon asked, but he was grinning.
"He's still on Cloud Nine," John said.
"I suppose he has every right to be," Elizabeth agreed, "And nothing we can do will bring him down."
Laura waltzed out of her cubicle when she heard them coming, "Who's the girlfriend and why is Ronon smiling?"
"Girlfriend?" Elizabeth directed the question to John.
"She's not my girlfriend, and never will be," John said, "And Ronon has a date with Diner Girl."
"Her name is not Diner Girl, it's Teyla," Ronon cut in.
Laura's face lit up like a Christmas tree, "Ronon has a date! Oh this is priceless, Marcus!" She called to her partner, "Ronon has a date with some Diner Girl!"
"Her name is not….!"
"Diner Girl?" Marcus poked his head out of his cubicle, "Is she that hot waitress at Danny's? Oh man, I wanted to ask her..." He pouted for a second but then he saw Elizabeth standing next to John, "Hello what have we here?" He put on his best smile.
Laura snorted, "You got over her fast."
"She's a witness for the state Lorne, you can't have her," John said tersely.
"Jealous?" Marcus asked.
"Hardly," He rolled his eyes.
"Who are these people?" Elizabeth asked.
"Oh we forgot our introductions," Marcus said, "I'm Sergeant Marcus Lorne. I'm an excellent dancer and I am a perfect gentleman…"
"Yeah right," Laura said, "A perfect gentleman with a different girl every night."
"Shut up, Laura."
"You first, Marcus," Laura gave Elizabeth a smile, "I'm Laura Cadman, partner to this knucklehead."
Elizabeth chuckled, "I'm Elizabeth Weir."
"I heard about Cleaton on the news," Cadman said, "Didn't know that these two got the job of protecting you."
"They don't really like it."
"When did we say that?" John asked.
"In the first five minutes we met."
"I doubt its anything with you," Laura said, "They just prefer a lot of action: high speed chases, shoot outs, car bombs, the thrills of this job."
"And the captain lets them stay in trouble?"
"Are you kidding, he loves it."
"O'Neill is a legend around here," Marcus said, "So is Sergeant Carter."
"The captain and those two are practically buddies," Laura said.
"Sheppard, Dex!" O' Neill called from his office, not sounding pleased.
"Most of the time," Laura finished.
John and Ronon started to march towards O'Neill's office, "I think it's about you," John said to Elizabeth, "You better join us."
"Hey," Laura grabbed her arm to stop her, "They are really good guys, a little wild, but sweet."
"I guess I can see that a little," Elizabeth replied before following the men.
Marcus was leaning back in his chair to watch her go, "Pull your eyes back into your sockets Lorne."
"It's not like she's taken."
Laura smiled as she remembered the look in John's eyes when he looked at Elizabeth, "I think she is."
TBC
A/N: So how was it? Next chap we meet Ronon's sister, and Elizabeth does some cleaning. Please R&R.