Disclaimer: I doubt that if anyone writing on a fanfiction site would be conceited or stupid enough to use their own creation. So, in answer to J.K.'s loverly lawyers breathing down my throat: I don't own this stuff.

Rolanda awoke to the sound of another's deep breathing and the secure sensation of a warm body against hers. She opened her eyes and let out a small squeak of surprise when she saw Severus' face inches from hers, and then lightly shook his shoulder after disentangling herself from him. "Severus?" She shook a little bit harder. "Wakey wakey, potions, quaffles, and bakey!" He seemed to stir, but didn't open his eyes, so she moved closer to him and shouted "Snape!" directly into his ear.

At this, Severus leapt out of bed in a flash and jumped for his wand. Unfortunately, he was still gripping Rolanda's hand and as a result he nearly pulled his arm out of the socket as Rolanda was tugged halfway out of bed. He sighed angrily as he rubbed his shoulder and sat down.

Rolanda brought her head up to his shoulder's level while being careful to not jostle his arm, and then said "Will you grab my wand over there, please?"

He eyed her with a calculating expression and asked "What are you going to do with it?"

"What do you think? Your arm's not going to fix itself, you know." She said as she rested her left hand on his swollen arm. He winced at the touch and removed her hand. "Oh, so do you want to go to the Infirmary? I wouldn't mind explaining to Poppy why I can't give you any breathing space!" She said while gesturing to their entwined fingers.

He sighed and handed her wand over with a defeated expression.

"Now that wasn't so hard, was it?" Rolanda said after fixing his arm.

"Yes."

"Oh, stop that!" She smacked his arm lightly before extending both of her hands as close to the ceiling as she could and yawning. "I for one am finally feeling the negative effects of not showering." Severus gave her a look that was a combination of disdain and 'don't even think about it'. Rolanda stood up and said "Just because you can defy the natural laws of basic human hygienic practices doesn't mean that I can. And stop giving me that look!" She stomped, dragged Severus to her closet, and fished out a set of clean robes.

"I don't care how much you stink; I don't need the emotional scarring that would occur if you were to impose that wet, naked, sack of cat mucus you call a body on my vision!" Severus said as he planted his feet to prevent Rolanda from advancing closer to the bathroom.

"Oh, stop being such a child! Most boys lose their fear of girls by second year!" Rolanda pulled and tugged at Severus, but made very little headway. "Come on, you greasy tapeworm!" The tug-o-war continued for several minutes with neither side dominating the other, until Rolanda stomped on Severus' toe and sprinted to the bathroom.

"You low-blowing succubus!" He cried as Rolanda hung her robes on the locked doorknob and walked to the shower.

"Not even if you begged me." She retorted while flinging the curtain open and grabbing a bottle of shampoo and a bar of soap. "And to think that I thought you would have preferred that particular low blow over a slightly higher one- but I suppose there would have to be something there to actually cause any pain." She put everything down on the counter and aimed her wand at Severus, who immediately pulled his wand out and fell into a defensive position. "Oh, don't worry Sevvie! I'm just going to give you a little blindfold for the time being, nothing serious!"

"I wouldn't allow you to deprive me of my sight even if I had the best protection available to wizardkind." He snorted.

She sighed in defeat and said "Fine, just turn around for a minute, okay?" He complied and Rolanda started to shrug out of her pajama top until her right hand, still conjoined with Snape's left, prevented her from undressing. She performed a quick spell to make her pajama arm intangible for a moment and slid out of it without a hitch. She then summoned a towel, wrapped it around her torso, stepped out of her pants, and turned the water in the sink on.

"What are you doing?" Snape asked with a confused expression on his face as he turned around. Rolanda shrieked and smacked him. He turned back around and whimpered an apology.

"Oh, you're sorry all right! You may not think of me as the most able-minded person in this school, but I remember what I told you to do and if your behavior around the Headmaster is any indicator then you were more than capable of controlling yourself enough to not turn around!"

Severus winced and Rolanda returned her attention to the sink. When the water was at the perfect temperature, she dipped her head into the stream until her hair was soaking wet; then she lathered her hair with the shampoo and rinsed it all out after a few seconds- a fairly difficult task with one hand tied to a man.

"So how did you sleep last night?" She asked while soaping up her face, neck, shoulders, and right arm.

"Decently."

"Not well? Not badly? You can use more descriptive language than 'decently'."

"I woke up around 2:40"

"Why?"

"I don't know." Severus answered while cautiously turning around to face Rolanda, who was rinsing herself off and situating herself in a sitting position on the counter, where she washed her feet and lower legs.

"Are you sure that you don't want to at least try and clean up?"

"Shut up." Severus said after turning around again so Rolanda could change into her robes. Yet again the same problem occurred with the arms, but this time Rolanda simply Switched the towel with her clothes. "I trust that you slept well?"

"Naturally." Rolanda felt a twinge in her bladder and saw Snape hold himself in such a way that it could only mean that he felt the same thing. "So you haven't used the bathroom in at least a day."

"Neither have you."

"Hey, no need for that tone! We're both adults, and believe it or not my toilet works beautifully!" Severus scrutinized her with a practiced eye and she continued with "I'll tell you what- you can go first." He looked as if he were going to refuse until Rolanda turned the water in the sink on and off in quick succession. At that, he swept to the toilet and glared at Rolanda until she turned away. Both of them 'did their business' and came to another problem when they finished: how would they wash their hands? After a few frustrated and tense moments they performed Cleansing Charms on the other's hand.

The two left the bathroom and conjured some breakfast as the sun rose. An owl soon broke the nearly comfortable silence penetrating the room, and the two walked over to let it in. "Hm…" Rolanda said while reading the note from the leg of the old bird.

Dear Severus and Rolanda,

I hope you slept well last night! Minerva and I will be away for most of the morning, so please be as civil as possible toward each other, as no one will be able to prevent any damage the two of you might cause. If I am not mistaken, both of you were planning to take today off anyway, so it will come as no surprise to you that both of your schedules are clear.

Have a good day, Albus

She handed it to Severus the two walked back to the fire to warm up. She then said after a few moments "I can't go an entire day without doing anything."

"That's good, because I have assignments that I need to grade."

"I was thinking more along the lines of being outside."

"We can go outside."

"We?" Rolanda asked and then mentally kicked herself for forgetting about her hand being stuck to his.

Severus raised an eyebrow and said "Of course, the chances of getting frostbite are quite a bit greater than they were yesterday, considering all of the snow that fell last night." He paused to give her an appraising look. "You should be especially worried, considering fat cells have a great deal of water in them."

"You're one to talk!" Rolanda smacked Severus' stomach but was surprised to find that there really was very little there. "Damn!" Even then, she chose not to take offense at what he said simply because she knew he was full of crap. "I was hoping to do something a little more stimulating than watch you grade papers." She said while dragging him to the door. He planted his feet firmly and transfigured his pajamas into clean robes, then allowed himself to be dragged into the hall.

"I don't doubt that you hope to pull me away from my work so you can go prance through the snow like a naïve schoolgirl, but I must inform you that I will be staying inside for a good portion of the day and consequently, so are you." He hissed as they passed a clump of students preparing to go out and play.

"What day is it today?"

"Sunday."

"Oh, great." Rolanda couldn't remember another time when she felt so self conscious, with the exception of her first day of school. It wasn't the odd stares that got her; she had been getting those since the day she was born- it was the whispering. "Where do you think the spiteful gossip started?"

"So far I haven't heard anything to be called spiteful, but considering Trelawney's temper and her tendency to act before thinking tells me that she and Sinistra are behind this."

"Why?"

"Why do you think?"

Rolanda blushed and said "Oh, right… Listen, I really am kind of sorry for that- not the mess I made in your room- but for sicking her on you like that. The two ran into yet another clump of teenagers chittering about current affairs such as who will be named as the new Quidditch Captain next year for Gryffindor and other trivial things, but as the teachers passed all conversation came to a screeching halt until they moved on, where the chattering changed to what sounded suspiciously like teacher-related gossip.

"Worse things have happened- like that mess, for one." Severus replied while taking the lead and sweeping through a side corridor. "If you had retained a bit of composure back there they would have returned to whatever they were talking about before we showed up." He sighed. "And I believe that you said something about Miss Grimm remaining silent about what she saw?"

"What? Baley was back there?" Rolanda asked as she ducked to avoid Sir Nicholas' feet while he rose through the air. "That's strange, was she saying anything? Maybe she was just listening."

Severus sighed with an exacerbated look on his face. "Please, I know that it will be hard for you to do this, but at least try to keep your naïveté to a tolerable level."

"Please excuse me for having a bit of hope in people." She paused, and then asked "Why didn't either of us think of erasing her memory?"

He pinched the bridge of his nose and said "She's so impressionable and stupid that it might have caused permanent brain damage."

At that, Rolanda turned around and pulled Severus back through the hallway, where she peeked around the corner at the students and said "Miss Grimm, may I have a word with you?" The student complied with a tomato red face and followed the two professors into an empty classroom. "Miss Grimm, I'm going to level with you." Rolanda said after offering her a seat.

"What are you talking about, Professor?"

Rolanda sighed deeply and said "Professor Snape and I are… well, first I want to ask you about what you saw yesterday after you left detention."

She paled and immediately shouted "Nothing! Nothing, Madame Hooch, I swear!"

"There's no reason to shout, Baley." Rolanda half cooed in an attempt to calm the girl. "You won't get into any trouble at all, I promise."

Her eyes shot from Rolanda's, to Snape's, to their entwined hands, and back. "I… I just saw you come up from underneath Professor Snape."

Snape glowered at her, and she recoiled. "Oh no, don't worry about a thing! You see, I was coming up from underneath Professor Snape's desk, oh, that doesn't sound at all better…" Rolanda leaned against a dust covered table and said "Well, Professor Snape and I are… in a sticky situation. You may have noticed that we have been spending a great deal of time together?"

Baley nodded, and said "Oh, well we weren't- I wasn't talking about that, ma'am!"

"I don't doubt that at all, Baley. I just wanted to rectify the situation; seeing what you saw can be quite hard on the nerves!" Baley nodded at this. "You see, Professor Snape and I are, well, stuck together." Rolanda wiggled her right arm and received a killing look from Snape.

"I'm sorry, ma'am."

Rolanda hid a grin and said "So you have a better understanding of what you saw now?"

"Yes, Madame Hooch."

"Excellent! I'm glad that we have that straightened out. Oh, and remember to try and keep this on the down low."

"Yes; good day, Madame Hooch. Professor Snape." Baley rushed out of the classroom in a cloud of dust.

"I told you that she's a nice girl."

"She's a liar and a coward."

"Now Snape, that isn't true and you know it."

"Just because she's from your House and a halfway decent flyer doesn't mean that she carries the Ravenclaw… ideals" he sneered, and continued; "on her shoulder."

"I always thought that Ravenclaw was more about intelligence and chivalry." Rolanda countered while opening the door.

"Chivalry is Gryffindor."

"There's still intelligence and wisdom."

"I don't doubt her mental capacity. I was merely pointing out that she's an underhanded, cowardly twat!"

"You know that that's not true at all! If it were true, she would be under your care in Slytherin."

"Come off it; you saw how she shivered at the sound of your voice!"

"I believe that you were the one to scare her like that." By this time, the two had walked almost halfway to the Great Hall and probably would have continued their argument had it not been for Rolanda catching a glimpse of Ludo Bagman down the corridor. "Oh crap!"

Severus seamlessly ushered Rolanda into a spare room and asked "So if you didn't sleep with him, why is he here?"

"He could have come to see the Headmaster, and that doesn't make any sense! If I did sleep with him, then why would he come back? Ludo doesn't exactly have the largest attention span in the world; he would have given up by now." She pressed her ear against the door for a moment, and asked "Why do you keep bringing this up, anyhow?"

"Bagman may have ADHD most of the time, but when it comes to sex he's more attentive than a professional Seeker to a Snitch."

"Nice analogy. Like I said, you've brought it up at least twice already. Why?" She rested her back against the door and put her free hand on an oddly placed hinge.

"That doesn't matter right now." Severus whispered while leaning forward and Rolanda shrank back in alarm until she realized that he was listening for footsteps as she had done earlier. He put his right hand on her arm, pulled his ear away from the door, and stepped a little closer, his eyes boring into hers and peering into the dark depths of her soul.

Rolanda's breath caught in her throat and she tried to look away, but she failed. "Severus." She murmured while putting her left hand against his shoulder.

He blinked and closed his slightly parted lips. He then blew on her forehead and said "You had a bug on your forehead."

The sound of a voice near the door caught the air in their throats. "So you haven't seen Rolanda anywhere today?" Bagman's voice burst. A muffled reply came from what sounded suspiciously like Trelawney. "Oh, in her room? Of course. Thank you!"

"Great; once again you're right, and once again it doesn't make me at all happy." Rolanda whispered. Snape gave her an accusing look until Ludo's steps disappeared and jerked her through the doorway and all the way to his dungeons.

He planted himself in a chair and conjured a large stack of papers and a mug of coffee. He gave her an incriminating look and proceeded to read through the assignment on the top of the stack.

"So are you a talented procrastinator or do you just enjoy overloading students?" Rolanda said while placing herself in the stool she used yesterday during the first detention.

"The students here are more than capable of doing all of the work assigned to them and then some- they simply choose not to."

"That can't be true in all cases! Many of my students come to me asking for a free period to try and whittle away at their work."

"I hope that you didn't actually allow them to do so. If they had actually utilized their time given to them during class and in the evening, then they wouldn't need free periods at all."

"So because that's what you were like in school, you expect everyone else to be held to the same standard?"

"Naturally."

Rolanda slumped forward to rest her chin on her palm, which was in turn being supported by her elbow on the desk. "You sounded like you knew a lot about how women and children gossip today."

"I know about how men gossip, too."

She sighed and said "You know a little too much for my liking. Where did you learn about the subtleties of common female conversation?"

"I have my ways." A knock on the door interrupted whatever Rolanda was going to say and prompted her to hurriedly crawl under the desk. "Enter." Snape called in a bored and indifferent voice.

"Ah, hello Severus. I need to have a quick word with you."

"Of course, Auriga."

"I realize that this has nothing to do with me whatsoever, but I really must know what's going on between you, Sybil, and" She paused for a moment before spitting out the next name with a sneer "Hooch."

"Nothing, and to be honest with you, I wouldn't mind if there was something between us- both Sybil and Rolanda are beautiful women, and I am a man."

"I suppose that you could say that." Auriga responded as she ambled up to Severus' desk and rested the tips of her fingers against the oak edge. "Well, I just spoke with Sybil this morning and she said that you were making advances towards her last night."

"I am afraid that Sybil is a bit mistaken. It's true that certain," he paused "things occurred between us yesterday, but I initiated absolutely none of it."

"I see." Auriga stated flatly. "And what of the other?"

"Madame Hooch?" She nodded. "She and I have," he thought about it for a moment before continuing "issues over the Slytherin House Team's use of the Quidditch Pitch. Apparently, she thinks that the 'first come, first serve' rule shouldn't apply to practices."

"That's ridiculous!" She exclaimed. "Why in the world would she think that it should be any other way?"

"I don't know."

"So you and" she paused again to curl her lip into an impressive sneer "Hooch have just been discussing practice times?"

"Yes."

"Nothing else?"

"Absolutely nothing at all."

Auriga let out a relieved sounding sigh and walked back through the door after saying goodbye.

"'They're both beautiful women, and I am a man.'" Rolanda quoted with a hint of amusement in her voice as she sat back down. "That was beautiful."

"I'm one of the most talented liars in Great Britain, you know."

"You are hilarious." She said. "You were speaking incredibly freely to Sinistra just then."

"If you don't speak like that to her, she'll think that you were lying."

"You were lying."

"She doesn't know that."

"That's not the point."

"Then what is? That she's one barging-in away from finding you and I together for no better reason than we like the feeling of each other's hands?" Snape violently shook his left hand and leaned back with a huff. Rolanda suddenly started to raucously laugh, and he asked "What?"

"N- nothing!" She continued to howl with merriment for some time longer until she finally managed to wrestle out the words "She has the HOTS for you!" between flashes of giggles. "Sinistra's dreaming of the big, bad Potions Master to swoop into her room and give her a 'detention'! That's rich!"

Severus glared at her and asked "Are you done?"

"Not yet! That's fantastic, we could get a nice little love trapezoid going here! On the other hand, Sinistra and Trelawney won't have anything to do with me, so you'll have to tough it out with being part of a trio and a couple on the side!"

"That still isn't funny."

"Oh, yes it is!"

"Just stop laughing, woman!" Snape bellowed as he jumped up and slammed his fist on his desk.

Rolanda quieted down a bit and said "It's still funny." She bugged her eyes out until they looked like Sybil's and said "I see a certain tall and dark teacher's taut, sexy buttocks in my crystal orb!" She then stood and switched gears to a Sinistra impersonation: "You can put your moon in my Seventh House any time you like, my Venusian love-slave!"

He pinched the bridge of his nose while he sank back into his chair.

"Just promise me that you won't be inviting anyone to join you for any midnight activities until I'm free." She folded her right leg over her left and conjured two glasses of pumpkin juice.

Severus returned to his grading without another word, and the silence remained unbroken until Rolanda let out a very quiet laugh when Severus actually accepted the pumpkin juice she gave him.

Around lunchtime, Rolanda jumped up and stretched, then wriggled her arm until Severus looked up in annoyance. "Come on, Snapey-poo! It's time to do something other than kill me with the sound your stupid quill scratching against innumerable sheets of parchment! Oh, why don't we go outside for a walk, okay? Walk?" She stooped over and patted her leg while speaking in a high and annoying voice.

"DON'T talk to me like I'm a dog!" Snape bellowed as he leapt up and slammed his fist on the desk.

"Where did 'like' come from?" Rolanda flinched to avoid could have potentially been a rather forceful blow after that remark. "Somebody's got their skivvies in a twist."

Snape breathed heavily through his nostrils, his anger growing like a fanned flame with every intake of air. She could have sworn that he was going to throw a punch at her, but after a few minutes of growing tension he let it subside in one exhale.

"Do you want to do anything after lunch?" Rolanda asked softly.

"I want to get away from you. Anything other than that would be completely inadequate."

She stopped for a moment with a hurt look on her face, but covered it up before he could see- she wanted to get away from him as much as he from her. "I was thinking something a little bit more…" she searched for the word, "likely to occur by the end of this next meal."

He uttered a small charm to organize the graded papers while he tugged Rolanda to the fireplace. "No, nothing will help recall the feelings of joy that I experienced before you showed up and muddled yourself in my affairs. Hogwarts Kitchens."

When the two emerged, Rolanda asked "What do you mean 'muddled in my affairs'? I rarely seek you out at all- that prank I pulled in your rooms was the only thing that I've done that affects you in at least a year! Everything else that has gotten us into trouble originated with you!"

"Leprechaun's Gold I'm the one who sparked everything between us! That's one of the biggest and least convincing lies to escape your loose, disease-ridden lips!" Snape spat before grabbing the shoulder of the nearest House Elf, "You!"

"Y- yes, sir?" The elf squeaked and trembled. "May I h- help you?"

"What's ready?"

The elf couldn't respond for fear until Snape's grip tightened on its tea towel, where it said in a frightened rush "Sou- soup, salad, sandwiches- oh pleasesirdon'thurtme!"

Rolanda huffed and pulled the elf from Snape's hand and said "Now look at what you've done!" She bent down to the shaking creature's height and said in a low and gentle voice "Ssh; it's okay. Will you get us each a sandwich and a bowl of soup?"

The elf straightened up, emboldened by Rolanda's gentle manner. "Yes, right away!"

It rushed off to prepare the meal, and Rolanda called out "We'll be my rooms!"

"What do you mean by that?"

"What do you mean 'what do you mean'? We're eating where it doesn't smell like stale Mandrake Root.

"Bagman's waiting for you."

"Oh, come off it! It's been hours! He's had to given up by now; for today, at least."

"He's so enticed by the smell of you perfume that he's probably on your bed right now, taking in the scent on your pillows and sheets."

They went through the fireplace back to Severus' classroom and stood for a moment in thoughtful silence. "He can't get inside my rooms because he doesn't have the password."

"I thought the same about you and Trelawney."

"Don't forget Sinistra."

"What?"

"Nothing."

Snape harrumphed and was unwillingly pulled back through the fireplace to Rolanda's rooms.

"See? No Ludo here!"

"Wait." Snape clenched Rolanda's mouth shut until they heard a flush come from the bathroom, which prompted Snape to shove both of them under the bed in the blink of an eye. Ludo emerged, grabbed a bouquet, placed it gently on Rolanda's pillow with a note and a small box, and left the room with a meager-looking swish of his cloak in comparison to what Severus was capable of.

They climbed back up from under the bed and Rolanda said "He was leaving me flowers."

"He has been 'leaving you flowers' for most of the day."

"Be realistic; he was probably waiting for me for a bit and then gave up."

"If anyone's not being realistic it's you- this morning you were spewing out all of this garbage about how Bagman's attention span rarely holds." Severus ran his wand over the parcels that Ludo left while waiting for a reply.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm waiting for you to respond."

"I don't have an answer; now tell me what you're doing!"

Snape sighed and said "I was checking for any," he paused "foul play."

"Snape, how many times do I have to tell you that I can handle myself?"

He clenched her left shoulder and forced her to face him head-on. "You don't know anything about how Bagman plays; you're lucky to still be standing right now because once he gets a hold on you he won't stop until he's too tired to stay awake for another go." He whispered in a dangerously low and angry voice, and he then did the unthinkable- he pulled Rolanda into a tight, one-armed hug. "You have no idea what Bagman's really about."

Rolanda wrapped her arm around Severus' waist and relaxed her whole body against his. His thumb circled between her shoulder blades and slowly crept up to her neck and into her hair, where he moved to and along her jaw line until he got to her chin. He then tilted her face upward to look into his eyes that were normally so cold, but as Rolanda stared into them she saw warmth that she didn't know existed. As Severus closed the gap between their slightly parted lips, they heard a tiny squeak from the fireplace.

Severus and Rolanda flew away from each other, each with light blushes heating their faces. "Thank you." Rolanda said as she took the tray from the surprised looking elf. "Don't worry about being so behind, we probably shouldn't have asked you to fix anything until you were done with the student body's lunch."

"It's no trouble at all!" The elf squeaked before disappearing to the Kitchens.

Rolanda tossed the tray onto the coffee table and plopped down into a chair after grabbing a sandwich. "Who do you think will win this upcoming match?"

"You mean the one that's at least three weeks away?" Severus snapped. "I didn't think that you chose sides in Quidditch games. Well, I was told that referees were supposed to avoid doing, at any rate."

"I was just trying to make conversation, and I was curious about whom you might be rooting for, considering that neither Slytherin nor Gryffindor are playing."

"I would never root for Gryffindor."

"I didn't say that you would."

"You suggested it."

"What I meant was that if Gryffindor played, then you would support whoever was playing against them. Slytherin is your own house, so it would be natural to come out in silver and green, but this time it's Ravenclaw against Hufflepuff, so I don't know who you would want to put your gold on." Rolanda explained.

Severus thought about it for a moment and said "Hufflepuff has a very talented Keeper this year, and Ravenclaw's Chasers are the worst the house has seen in quite a long time, but the Ravenclaw Seeker is more than capable of finishing the game in minutes flat." He paused, "On the other hand, the Hufflepuff Beaters have been clever enough to realize that if they go after the opposing team's Seeker enough, they might stand a chance."

"So what's your verdict?"

He grabbed a sandwich and took a healthy bite, then said "Ravenclaw."

"Why?"

"Hufflepuffs tend to crack under pressure, while these Ravenclaws seem to thrive under it."

"I see where you're going with that." Rolanda popped the last bite of sandwich into her mouth and followed it with water. "How's your sandwich?"

"I've made better."

"So you're not only one of Britain's authorities on potion-making, but also an accomplished chef? I never would have guessed."

"Why not? Cooking and potion-making are incredibly similar."

"I just didn't make the connection." She said while reaching for the bowl of soup waiting for her. "Mm, now this is good."

"It looks overcooked."

"It isn't at all. Mm, I can never get the garlic to be just right- it's always overpowering or practically nonexistent."

"Try using bigger cloves and sautéing them with the other vegetables before adding them."

"That will work?"

"Yes." Severus finished his sandwich and balanced his bowl on his knee like Rolanda. "This is good."

"I told you so."

"I never doubted you."

"You never said that you doubted me."

"Exactly."

"That doesn't mean that you didn't think it." The meal continued in this fashion until both bowls were empty and Rolanda "Shushed" Severus as the pulled him to her bed.

"Rolanda, this is so sudden! I never knew that you had such strong feelings for me!" Snape drawled in a sarcastic tone.

"Sod off." Rolanda replied as she sat down next to the bouquet and opened the neatly folded note resting on the box.

Dearest Rolanda,

I pine for you as the ocean to the moon and the sun to the dawn! My cherished rose, I hope that these flowers, though not as beautiful as you are, may somehow demonstrate my feelings for you. The summer's day that blossoms in my heart could very well be expressed in this small token of appreciation, and it would send me into an eternal spring if you will accept it.

You may or may not approve of my fawning on you so extensively, but if you understand my deep, yearning desire to be close to you, then perhaps you will join me for dinner on Tuesday night?

Until you reply, I am lost in a valley of ever-darkening loneliness and despair, my love.

Ludo

"That is possibly the most disgusting thing to ever be read." Severus stated flatly. "You'd think that he would at least put some effort into his love notes.

"Hey, go away!" Rolanda whined. She then turned her attention to the box and was pleasantly surprised to find a silver ring inside. Despite Snape's quickly deteriorating attitude, she still managed to feel very pleased as she wriggled the ring on using her thumb and mouth.

"Wonderful, a ring. Next he'll be sending you a wedding dress and veil set."

"Will you just be quiet? Or at least do a better job of being indifferent."

Snape sighed and said "I still have papers to grade." That was the last word spoken between them for the rest of the day.

As evening approached, Rolanda couldn't take any more sitting around and listening to that stupid man think. "Now we're going to do something completely different, and you're going to like it!" She started to drag Severus to the door, but Albus stepped through the fireplace and stopped both in their tracks.

"Ah, so both of you are still alive. Have either of you reaped the benefits of each other's company yet?" When no one responded, he continued. "I see. Well, Minerva came up with a wonderful idea- the two of you should tell each other about your childhood or other personal experiences of that nature. Perhaps you should do that after dinner? Why don't you join Minerva and I in the Great Hall?" That was more of an order than a question, and everyone present knew it.

"Yes sir, we'll be up in a few minutes." Severus replied.

"Wonderful; I'll see you there." Albus walked through the door and into the hallway without another word.

Severus stomped to the fireplace and Flooed them to his rooms where he rinsed his face off in the bathroom and stirred the contents of the potion from the night before. "Knowing the Headmaster, he'll expect us to do anything to keep suspicion down in terms of foul play, although I doubt he realized that our willingly walking about hand in hand will spark an endless number of unanswerable questions."

"Not unanswerable," Rolanda said, "just uncomfortable."

"Either way, I'll be damned if my reputation suffers because of you."

"Your reputation?" Rolanda fumed. "What about mine? Imagine the looks on everyone's faces if the world's most disgusting sack of river mud was seen with a woman! It would be a disaster!"

"Yes, you definitely have the hard life- being loved by all of the students, teaching three courses per year, and having the privilege of flying around all day! Oh, how can you stand it?" He spat "If I had a Knut for every time you had a right to complain about your job, I would be the poorest man in history." The two walked through the hallways and stairs until they were one floor away from the Great Hall without speaking the entire time.

"So you have the harder job during the school year. I don't know if you have a summer job, but I doubt that it even compares to mine."

"Are you ready?"

"Why not?"

They descended the stairs and stepped through the last corridor between them and their lost reputations with trepidation, preparing themselves for the worst. "Remember: keep your composure."

"Shut up, I know what I'm doing."

"I doubt that." He snapped as they took confident strides through to the Staff Table and sat in their usual seats.

"Severus, go ahead and take Sibyl's seat tonight- I'll take care of it." Albus said a moment before Sibyl appeared in the Hall.

"Thank you, Sir." Severus said after moving to Sibyl's seat.

"Sibyl! It's such a pleasure to see you!" Rolanda said with a smile pasted on her face.

"Rolanda." Sibyl muttered in a clipped tone as she stood just behind Severus. "I believe that you are sitting in my seat."

Severus turned and opened his mouth to reply when Albus interrupted him with "I needed to speak with you about a student, and Severus was kind enough to give up his seat so we could discuss it over dinner- I know how busy your schedule is."

"Oh, of course!" Sibyl swept into the empty seat at the Headmaster's side and quickly delved into the conversation.

"What time is it?" Rolanda asked.

"Guess."

"Come on- I'm serious!"

"So am I." Rolanda huffed at Severus' answer and didn't say another word until the end of the evening. "That was one of the most delightful evenings that I have ever spent with you." He drawled while waiting for everyone to file out of the Great Hall.

"Yes, sitting near you is one of the greatest joys of my life."

Severus quickly jumped up and caught the Headmaster before he left. "Sir, may I have a word with you?"

"I'm sorry Severus, but you know that you cannot have a private conversation with me until you and Rolanda are on better terms with each other."

"What I mean is 'We need to have a word with you.'"

"Much better!" Albus replied. "May I ask what the two of you needed to speak with me about?"

"Well, we have been doing quite better over the course of this…'treatment', wouldn't you say?"

"Yes, you have- from what I've seen. You have to keep in mind that Minerva and I haven't been able to properly observe you." Albus started walking to his office, and the two teachers followed.

Severus looked as if he were about to explode for a moment, but regained control before he lost control. "I am merely proposing that because we have been doing so well, we should be given private shower time." He continued in a low voice.

"Only showers? Nothing else?"

"Of course not- anything to do with the bathroom, really."

"Are you feeling alright, Severus?"

"What do you mean, Sir?"

"Well, you're being awfully open about this- it's not like you to be so forward, or even so shy. Sugar Quills." The gargoyle guarding the Headmaster's office stepped to the side with a bow and a flourish.

Severus stopped, seemingly not wanting to go any further.

Albus turned around and said "I'll discuss it with Minerva and get back to you tomorrow morning" before disappearing up the stairs.

"You tried, at least." Rolanda offered.

"Sod off."

The two walked back to Rolanda's rooms, only stopping to give a pair of students caught snogging behind a statue of Everard the Contortionist each a detention and fifty points off of their respective Houses. "Why do you always call him 'Sir'?"

"He's the Headmaster."

"That doesn't mean that you should always just call him 'Sir'."

"I don't see any reason why not."

"Hamish's Bitches." Rolanda's door opened at the sound of the password, though it was hardly necessary considering that it was unlocked. "He's your employer, but he's also a good man and seems to be your friend, though I can't see why anyone would want to associate with you outside of necessity."

"'Hamish's Bitches'?" Severus asked. "I do call him 'Albus' from time to time- outside of work. I, unlike one I could mention, know the appropriate time for various titles."

"Hm…" Rolanda jabbed her wand at the fireplace and sat down. "If you must know, when I was still in professional Quidditch I earned that name with Ariah McGavin."

"I remember now."

"What?" She did a double take, surprised by Severus' apparently forgotten knowledge of her Quidditch career.

"McGavin, Hooch, and Wright" he sat and stared into the fire, "the best Chasers in the professional circuit to ever play on the same team."

"Exactly; I didn't know that you followed professional Quidditch!"

"I don't."

"How do you know about…?" Rolanda trailed off uncertainly.

"I followed Quidditch."

"Not anymore? What happened?"

"I don't know." He paused and caught her eyes. "I still don't remember any 'Hamish's Bitches.'"

"Well, that was because it was more of a private joke with the team." Rolanda leaned back and soaked up the warmth with a smile of reminiscence. "If you recall, Ariah and I had nearly identical builds, but you probably don't remember that she and Hamish Wright were married."

"The first time Ludo Bagman commentated he couldn't tell you apart without Omniculars."

"That was rather strange of him, come to think of it- Ariah's hair went down to her lower back when it was in a braid!" She squeezed Severus' hand. "'Hamish's Bitches' was born because of that game!

"You're not going to want to hear this next part."

"I think that I can handle whatever you're going to say."

"Well, Ariah and I spent so much time together we started to cycle together."

Severus blinked several times and looked at her oddly.

"Stop giving me that look! I told you that you wouldn't want to hear it!"

"That explains why you were playing so ferociously that night."

"It was just like any other game- I would never allow my hormones to affect my performance."

"You made the Keeper on the opposing team wet himself!"

"I did not!" Rolanda said indignantly.

"Whatever you say."

"Fine." After a few moments, Rolanda continued with her story. "Back to the story; we were goofing off after the game when Hamish turned Ariah and I into dogs."

Severus laughed at the pun.

"You just laughed!"

"I didn't realize that it was a play on words!" Severus contorted and writhed in his seat until he could hardly breathe.

"It wasn't that funny." At that moment, Albus stepped through the fireplace and smiled at Rolanda with a knowing twinkle in his eye.

"Good evening, Rolanda and Severus."

Severus wiped a bit of spittle from his lips and said "Good evening, Albus."

Albus settled himself in the love seat and asked "Did I come at a bad time?"

"Oh, not at all!" Rolanda exclaimed. "Would you like some tea?"

"Yes please!" She handed him a lightly steaming cup. "Rolanda, you are the greatest tea-conjurer the world has ever known."

"Thank you."

"Mm! As I was saying, I spoke with Minerva and we decided that tomorrow, if you both get along, we can discuss the idea of private showers."

"Thank you." Severus and Rolanda said in unison.

"Well, that's all that I wanted to tell you both…" Albus said as he stood and grabbed a pinch of Floo Powder. "Is there anything that you wanted to talk about before I go?"

"No, nothing at all." Rolanda beamed.

"If that's the case, then I suppose that I should be going." He threw the powder over the flames and stepped through to his rooms.

"I need to go to my rooms for a moment." Severus said coldly.

"Is there something wrong?"

Severus gave her an odd look and said "No."

"You were just so happy a moment ago, and now you're… sullen."

"I think that you're imagining things." He pulled her through the fireplace and into his rooms before adding "Did you see that new note from Bagman on your coffee table?"

Rolanda's eyebrows shot up. "Another one?"

That potion emitted small bursts of thick fog every few seconds until Severus took it off the heat and poured it all into a fairly large beaker- a fairly impressive task for one using just one hand.

"Why did you pour it into such a large beaker?"

"It will expand overnight as it cools." He reached up to put it on a high shelf but it slipped out of his grasp and spilled all over his head and shoulders and in the blink of an eye Rolanda found herself in the shower, watching him as he rinsed himself off.

When it was all over and Severus was about to turn the shower off, Rolanda stopped him and adopted a predatory grin as she jerked her sleeves up with her teeth and grabbed a bottle of shampoo. "I didn't know that you even owned any of this!"

"Get away from me!" He whinnied as he backed away from her with his eyes slightly bulging.

She laughed and said "Don't worry, Sevvie! It'll all be over in a minute." At that, she looped her right arm around him, squirted a dollop of shampoo in his hair, dropped the bottle, and lathered vigorously.

Snape tried to step out of the tub but Rolanda caught him and pinned his legs against the wall with her own. He wormed his right hand up to her shoulder and tried to push her away until her robes were wet enough to make his hand slip over and over again. She grabbed his ear and steered him to the running water for a rinse and as she was reaching for the conditioner he grabbed her hand and shoved her against the wall after wriggling out of her stranglehold. Then the strangest thing happened- he smiled as if he was somehow taking all of this in extremely good humor!

"What's wrong, Sevvie?" He said nothing as he descended upon her, pressing his body against hers, his eyes drooping halfway shut. Her lips tingled as he crept closer and drew his right hand from her left to caress her face and neck. She brushed her lips against his and he pulled back for a moment, then he slipped his hand down her back and kissed her. She tried to deepen the kiss, but he suddenly sprang back over the tub's edge in a momentary panic.

"I…I'm-" His eyes roved about the room, trying to avoid looking at her. "Are you-?"

Rolanda laughed and turned the water off, a knot of tension growing in her stomach. "I'm sorry."

His features softened and he said "Don't be sorry!" as he helped her out of the tub. "I'm the one who should be sorry."

"No, I shouldn't have done that in the first place." She unstuck her robes from her legs and twisted them around over the side of the tub to wring them out. An eternity passed before she could break the awkward silence. "So… why do you have conditioner in your shower?"

"It was my-" He gulped, "Girlfriend's." No wonder he was acting so oddly! "Well, ex-girlfriend's."

She reached for her wand to perform a Drying Charm, but realized that she must have left her wand in her room. "Do you have your wand on hand?"

"Of course-" He stopped, "I'm afraid not." He grabbed two towels from the cupboard and turned away after handing one over to Rolanda.

"Who was she?" She asked while unbuttoning her outer robes.

"Anitra Howl." Severus muttered through his towel as he dried his hair.

"Anitra? She was my team captain for three years!" She shrugged off her robes and allowed them to be suspended by her right hand, and then moved on to her shirt. "How is she?"

"I haven't seen her for awhile."

"How long has it been?"

"I think that it's been about eight months."

She moved on to unlacing her boots and pouring the water into the tub. "When did you start seeing her?"

"About a year and a half ago, I think." He wrestled out of his wet robes and allowed them to hang limp next to Rolanda's.

"Oh." Rolanda stated while going over her head and torso with the towel. "Why didn't I see her around?"

"For the most part we kept our activities off campus."

"Except when she stayed the night."

"I don't think that I want to talk about that, if you don't mind."

"I don't mind at all." Questions burned inside of her, making the knot swell.

"How long have you been seeing Bagman?"

"I'm not really seeing him."

"Right." He dropped his pants and jerked his shoes off, "I may not have quite as much… experience as you, but I can smell the relationship from the other side of Hogwarts." He laid his pants on the side of the tub and toweled his lower body off.

"You should get checked for a sinus infection, then." She wrapped her towel around herself after discarding as many clothes as she could with the exception of her bra and underwear.

They both listened for each other to finish drying off, and when the room was completely silent for several minutes, they turned to face each other again. "You may not like this suggestion," Severus said as he walked to his sink and retrieved a pair scissors from his medicine cabinet "but we could always repair our clothes later."

Rolanda looked from the scissors, to Severus, and back to the scissors. "Why not?"

Severus pulled the left sleeve of his robes back up and snipped along the seam until they fell to the ground; he then waited for Rolanda to shrug the sleeves back up her arm so he could cut cleanly and effectively. She watched as he cut and noticed the dark tattoo laid out across his forearm, and when he saw where she was looking he dropped his head and angled his arm to hide the abomination upon his skin. They both gathered up their clothes and laid them out in front of the fire to dry.

"Here," Severus muttered as he pulled Rolanda to his bedroom door "I can't quite recall, but I believe that Anitra left some clothes here."

"Thanks," Rolanda said. She looked around the room while Severus rooted around in his dresser and saw that her so-called 'present' was still there. "I heard that Ludo was also a Death Eater."

"You heard correctly." He pulled out a blue undershirt and a pair of cotton shorts for her, and as he handed them over he said "This is it" in a defeated tone.

"Perfect!" She replied in an overly hyped-up voice to compensate for his disappointment with his modest offering. Severus grabbed some clothes for himself and they both turned around so they could change. Rolanda dropped her towel and pulled the slightly too large undershirt on over her legs and then torso, then tugged on the light shorts as Severus also changed his clothes. She then grabbed the scissors from where Severus placed them on the dresser, cut the strap from her bra, and took it off.

"That looks so ridiculous."

"Oh, as if you look any better!" Rolanda jeered defensively before turning around and eating her words. Under all of those robes, Severus had a very lean, tight build, and he definitely knew how to go without a shirt.

"I meant the strap." He flicked the dislodged strap hanging beneath Rolanda's right arm with a shadow of a grin.

"Oh." She followed him out of his bedroom and was about to walk to the sofa when she was pulled in another direction. "What are you doing?"

"I need to redo that potion, of course." He put several vials in a new cauldron along with two cloth bags and carried it all to the fireplace. He then took a mortar and pestle and began to grind various dry ingredients found in the vials together until they were a thing paste, then he put it in the cauldron along with something that looked suspiciously like blood.

"That's jicama, those are jasmine leaves, that's parsley, and those are cinnamon sticks. Are you making a dry rub for hippogriff meat or something?"

He sighed and his brow furrowed. "Those are just simple binding agents- the real focus is the Blood Stem draft."

"What? Jicama isn't used as a binding agent." She picked up one of the bags and weighed it in her palm.

"It's rarely used as such, but in this case it is essential for its starch content."

"You could have used potatoes."

"Potatoes aren't common binding agents either and contain twice the fat." He plucked the bag from her hand and slowly worked it open with his right hand, then dumped the contents into a petri dish.

"Is that hair?"

"Yes." He put the cauldron on the hearth and put the vials he used away.

"Are you making food poison?"

"No."

"I'm not that dumb, Snape. You're using cooking ingredients that could easily be replaced with far more useful things, combining them with a Blood Stem draft, and then expecting me to believe that you're not trying to unobtrusively poison someone?"

"Fool!" He hissed as he quickly descended upon her. "Do you really believe that I would prepare a poison in front of you?" Rolanda shrank back, and he took the opportunity to advance. "Blood Stem drafts, though poisonous in large quantities when ingested, are used for skin-related maladies! The only reason that I am not using more common binding agents is to combat the smell and light burning that results from putting heated Blood Stem draft on the skin!" Yet again Rolanda stepped away, and yet again Severus stepped closer. "Just so you know- Blood Stem drafts lose their poisonous properties after being cooked."

"Oh," Rolanda muttered. She was suddenly very conscious of Severus' chest brushing against hers, and the smell of the shampoo that she attacked him with sent whirlwinds of olfactory-themed pleasure coursing through her veins. Although he was finished lecturing her, he didn't make any move to step away- and she wasn't sure if she wanted him to. His hair brushed her cheek and broke the spell; he leapt back and stalked over to see if his clothes were dry before pacing angrily back and forth for several minutes. "Severus! Stop it right now!"

"What?" He asked in a frustrated tone.

"Stop pacing! You're driving me up the wall!"

In response, Snape stalked over to the sofa and sat down in a huff. "Better?"

"Yes, much." Rolanda sat next to him and yawned.

"Have you ever been Transfigured into a wide-mouthed tree frog?"

"Yes, every day. Why?" Rolanda rolled her eyes as she leaned back against the warm cloth covering the cushions. Severus stifled a large yawn, leaned his head back, and closed his eyes. "Eight months seems to be an awfully long time to hold on to conditioner."

"It probably is."

"Why did you keep it for that long?"

"I don't know."

"Do you still have feelings for her?"

"Why are you asking so many questions, woman?" Snape hissed as his head snapped up and turned to look at her.

"I'm just curious, is all."

"I heard that curiosity killed the cat."

"I'll be sure to tell McGonagall next time I see her."

The corners of Severus' mouth twitched upward and his neck relaxed to allow his head to rest against the back of the sofa.

"Why don't you even try to befriend any of the students?"

"Why should I? They seem to hate me right from the onset- why should I try to be in the least bit sociable when they don't want me to?" He sighed and slumped in seat. "'The best reason that I can give you is that I'm the Hogwarts' Scapegoat. If anything at all is wrong in you life, don't get down- blame Snape!'"

"You know that that's not true at all!"

"Think about it. Stew it over for a few days and tell me about it when I feel like being lectured over things that have already been addressed between every single individual to ever work at Hogwarts and I."

Rolanda huffed and crossed her legs. "I'm just saying that if you weren't such an ass most of the time, people might warm up to you a little bit faster."

"I don't want to talk about it." Severus took a deep, relaxed breath and suddenly jumped up to check on his clothes.

"Why don't we just Floo back to my rooms with the clothes and repair them there?"

"Because I have to check on my potion in five minutes."

"We can still nip off to my rooms and come back with our wands."

"We could." Rolanda smiled, and Severus asked "What?"

"I don't think that I have ever convinced you to do anything before!"

"You still haven't." He leaned forward in his seat and looked back to her before saying "I was agreeing with you- I would have reached the same conclusion if I so chose, but I didn't feel the need to get my wand."

"That's strange, coming from a Death Eater."

Severus jumped up and towered menacingly over Rolanda, making her shiver all over. "I am no longer a Death Eater- do you understand?" He growled.

"Yes." Rolanda whimpered as she shrunk in her seat. Severus sat back down and sighed. He then reached his hand out and summoned a bottle of whiskey from the cabinet. He downed a good portion straight from the bottle and rested his forehead against the cool glass. "Please don't drink." Rolanda gently pushed the bottle away and rested her hand on his upper arm.

"Why not?" He asked after another quick swill.

"Because it's disgusting and won't make you feel better. And I'll drink."

He proffered the bottle to her and said "The alcohol content is so high that anything I left behind should be dead by now."

She winced at the offering and knew that she should refuse, but she took it anyway. "Damn, Snape! They don't even make this anymore!"

"I'm just using the bottle; it's a home-brew." She whiffed it before pinching her eyes shut and gulped a bit down.

"Amazing."

"I'll take that as a compliment." For the next few hours they took turns with the blessed whiskey until Severus spoke. "To the Queen of Hearts, may she always be able to tell the difference between a King and a Joker." He sloshed the brew down his throat and passed the bottle back.

"To my Hooded Cobra- may he nevershed his lustrous scales." With that, she finished off the bottle, curled into a partial fetal position, and rested her head against Severus' shoulder, where his soft locks caressed her face. "You really aren't so bad."

"Thanks. You're not the worst person I know, either." He draped his left arm over her shoulders and steered her face towards his with his right hand. They locked eyes and crept ever closer to each other until their lips brushed together and Rolanda closed her eyes and melted into his warm, solid body.