Disclaimer: You know the drill. I'm not claiming anything but the plot.
From my boredom, I spawned a one shot. Neat, hey?
PS. I reposted this with a few corrections (just grammar mistakes).
Nothing Else to Say
Words are said.
And we can never take them back.
They simply hang in the air; tearing at our souls.
For a second, we want to take them back.
Because it hurts the longer they stay there.
For a second, a 'sorry' seems like it'll make it better.
Another second.
And another.
It's not better.
And they're still there.
---
The bag is sitting at the back of the closet. It has been there for God knows how long.
It's filled with clothing, gil and other essentials.
Every so often, I would add something into it.
Every so often, I would take something out.
When I see her smile, my stomach knots itself. Guilt. More than I can handle.
Her head rests on my bare chest. Her breathing is steady, telling me she's fast asleep. I can't count how many nights I have spent simply watching and waiting for her to whisper my name in her sleep like she always does. Vincent...; She would say. I love it.
But it digs into my heart and wrenches it also.
Lucrecia. She haunts me still. And I still love her.
I let my fingers weave their way through my lover's dark chocolate strands. Tifa is an incredibly beautiful woman. I know that it would be more than easy to live happily if I could just forget Lucrecia. I could just...
Love you.
I slip carefully out of bed.
Walking over to the closet, I snatch a pair of pants off its hanger and quickly stuff it into the hidden bag. I grab a couple more things and do the same.
Suddenly, though, I feel the hairs on my neck stand.
Someone's watching.
But when I turn around, no one but Tifa lays sound asleep on our bed.
Our bed.
I remove a shirt from the duffel bag, place it back in its original hanger, and ease myself back into her arms.
---
"What do you want on your waffle, Vincent?" I glance up and stare at her for a moment, captured by her beauty. Then I realize that she has mahogany irises, not forest green like I'd been imagining. "Vincent?"
"Nothing. Thank you." I keep seeing Lucrecia instead of Tifa. Is this how Cloud had felt before he left her broken two years earlier?
"I'm putting syrup on it 'cause I know you love it, you just won't admit it." She gives me a dazzling grin and I wonder why I can't be satisfied waking up every morning to a woman like this.
I get up from the table and head for our room. "I will be right back."
Once I get there, I take out the bag and unzip it. Ready to take out another shirt.
Only, when I open it, the shirts, pants and undergarments aren't as I had left them. They are all folded neatly and perfectly.
---
I watch her. Tifa laughs with one of her patrons whilst I stand in the corner, simply there to stop any fights that may emerge.
When had she discovered my secret?
How long has she known about my plan to leave?
…
Why hasn't she said a word about it?
Instead of my continuous wondering, it would be easier... to simply ask her. Straight out. Confront the problem. But the very idea that her smile may be wiped away once more, the very smile I had taken months to give back to her kills me.
He had taken her smile when he had left. And I'm just about to do the same.
I can't ask her.
---
It has been coming. And I cannot stop it. I've known for days that tonight, I would not pack something and go back to bed. The bag is so full, it threatens to burst. All that is left to do is to actually go.
And tonight I would do so.
Tonight, she won't smile anymore.
Tonight, I would leave Tifa for a dead woman.
---
I make love to her one last time.
But I accidentally fall asleep myself.
I awake no later than three in the morning. I sigh, glad that there is still dark for me to slip away in.
I turn over, to hoping for one last glance at her lovely features... but no one was there. My acute hearing picks up rustling downstairs.
I silently make my way towards the noise. There, Tifa stood, placing a small bag of food by the door along with my duffel bag from the closet and a thick jacket. She stands in thought for a minute before reaching into the coat closet and pulls out an umbrella. She ties it to my bag.
"Tifa?" My voice startles her. I know because she jumps and tenses. But she doesn't turn to look at me. "What are you doing?"
With her head down, she tries to walk past me as she speaks. "I made some food for you in the bag; most of it will go bad in about a week, so eat it. And I gave you an umbrella in case it rains."
"Tifa." I grab her arm before she can get away. But she rips it from my grasp and cradles it close to her chest. She takes a step back from me. It breaks something inside of me.
"Don't." She finally looks up at me and there is no smile. "Don't touch me."
"Please understand." Pleading almost, I want to embrace her and smell her hair, just one more damn time. But I don't.
"I never do." She stares at me with eyes as cold as a winter night. Not because she hates me, no, but because there is no more warmth within her. Of course not. I'm taking her last smile away. "Don't say any more. I've already had this conversation with Cloud before. There are no more words I haven't said already."
Tears burn behind my eyes. "At least say goodbye."
"Goodbye, Vincent." There no is love in the way she says my name. Nothing like the way she used to whisper it. Her voice rings in my ears.
Desperate for something, I lean in, and brush my lips against hers. Her hand, though gentle, pushes me away. The spot on my chest that her hand had pressed against burned.
"Goodbye." Tifa says one last time.
As I step out the door, bags in hand, I whisper. "Sorry."
She locks the deadbolt behind me.
And as I walk away, the unsaid words still hang over my head.
---
Some words, however, are never said.
And we can never say them again.
Because the moment would have gone.
And the heart has already been broken.
And all we can do is repeat them over and over again to ourselves.
In our nightmares.
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