Disclaimer: All Jonathan Larson except for some stuff…

Notes: Mark doesn't come in for a couple chapters, but it will get there. Don't worry, as you're reading it may seem like this isn't Mark/Roger, but it is. This story may not be updated as often, seeing as I have two more stories in the works. So, please be patient and live with my slowness. Thanks much! XD

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Roger's POV

I strum at my guitar, thinking intensely about how I need new strings. I've always needed new strings. Maybe my fingers are the problem, not the strings. My fingers are the ones making the music, hitting every note in the wrong or right way.

I sigh and set the guitar down, frustrated but sure I will continue later. Playing in the morning never works for me. My fatigue gets the best of me. I choose to blame school for my recent block in creativity. It could also be my lack of a girlfriend. Without girls, I have no material. What's going wrong in my life that I could write about? Not being able to write? I doubt that makes for a good song.

I lay back on my bed before sneaking a look at the clock on my desk. Ten more minutes until I have to get up for breakfast. My mom always has to be on schedule for everything. How we are different, yet oddly the same. I'm more like her than my father. My father who is never here. My father who…doesn't seem like my father.

There are some girls at school who look my way. I think it's only because of my guitar and my band that I get the slightest amount of attention. Not that it matters much, all that matters is that people are looking. I don't care why they do it. I'm still stereotyped as the distant rocker type though. No one wants to come close to me, in fear of being transformed into music. But only the important people in my life get turned into a song. Others don't deserve it.

My alarm clocks rings for the last time, and I finally drag my lazy ass out of bed. I'm not looking forward to school today. But when am I ever looking forward to school?

My tired body slumps down the stairs and into the kitchen where I see the form of my mother's cheerful self. She is making bacon, just like every other morning, and I lean over to peck her on the cheek.

"Mornin' mom." I whisper, my voice cracking.

"Good morning sweetheart. How did you sleep?" She squeals, and her happiness breaks my weary and melancholy mood.

"All right. I woke up before my alarm clock again." I sit down on the green fabric of the chair, taking a sip from the cup of orange juice sitting on the table. I wipe the excess film away from my top lip and attempt to smile at her.

"Maybe you aren't going to bed late enough. Too much sleep you think?" She glances over her shoulder from the frying pan and I laugh in doubt. Yea, too much sleep. That is my problem.

"I highly doubt it Mom. I'm as tired as they come."

"Well, I don't know what's wrong then." There is worry in her voice, as if this is a huge problem for both of us.

"It's not a big deal. It gives me more time to play in the morning anyway. Thanks though." I try to sound as nice as I can, even though my mind wants to scream. I'm so fucking tired I could kill someone.

"Do you want bacon?" I rub my stomach and wonder if I really need food. I'm likely to just skip first hour to drive to the gas station anyway. I don't know why I would eat bacon now.

"Uh, not really. I think I can wait till lunch."

"You sure? I don't want to eat it all myself."

"Yea, I'm sure. I'm not that hungry." I chug down the rest of the juice in the glass and get up from my chair. I quickly move over to my mother for a goodbye kiss before running out the door and to my car. The key turns roughly in the keyhole, chipping off a speck of paint as I take it out.

The clunky wheels of my car seem to get me there too fast, going at their top speed of sixty. Cold air hits my face as I walk into the school. It's always colder in there than outside. A jacket is necessary for all seasons.

"Rogy!" I hear a voice yell, and I see Carrie running towards me out of the corner of my eye. I brace myself as she jumps roughly into my arms. Her blonde hair grazes my face lightly, and I can finally see her blue eyes and bright smile.

"Hey Carrie." I respond unenthusiastically, and then let her carefully slide out of my grip. She's always been so joyful in the worst of times. A light burns eternally in the pit of her heart.

Carrie and I met freshman year, and for the past two years she has been there for me. She calls me almost everyday, usually interrupting my writing, but I appreciate it nevertheless. Our friendship is never ending. She is the only one who understands me, yet there is something missing. I feel like there is something in me that I have yet to express. For now, it will remain hidden.

"Why didn't you call me back last night? I was waiting by the phone!" She grasps my hand, swinging it back and forth with hers.

"Oh…sorry. I forgot. I started writing but…"

"That's okay." She forgives me quickly, and I let it go. Her mind swirls with varying emotions everyday. Those are the teenage years. "I forgive you honey. Just don't do it again. Promise?" I nod and she drags me to my locker.

"What'd you do last night?" I ask, yawning half way through my sentence. I pull out a book from the bottom of my garbage filled locker, digging through all of the crap that has gathered. Carrie gives me a judgmental look. I don't know how many times she has told me to clean all the shit out of this pigsty.

"Umm…not much. I stayed in and talked on the phone mostly."

"So, I wouldn't have been able to call you anyway." I give her attitude before slamming my locker closed.

"Yea, I guess." Her eyes close, and she leans against the burgundy metal of the wall next to me. I carefully brush the piece of hair lying on her face away, and smile. Carrie is the only person who can make me smile this early in the morning. "Thanks." She goes back to sleep, when seconds ago she was wide awake.

"Hey. You're gonna miss first period." I shake her shoulders, pulling her softly into my arms. She buries her face in my chest, moaning from fatigue.

"Ugh, I hate school."

"Oh come on. You were all hyper just a minute ago."

"Yea well..I changed my mind." She smiles briefly, and hugs me back. Sometimes I think Carrie could be my girlfriend. Last year she told me she had feelings for me, but I did nothing about it. I didn't even tell her what I thought. I just let it go. Now I'm beginning to think the idea of us isn't so bad.

"Carrie, wake up. You can't just fall asleep and expect me to carry you to your classes all day long."

"Oh, that would be nice. I would love you forever! Please Roger!" She begs, and I laugh before moving her slowly down the hall. She leans against my shoulder, groggily picking her feet up to walk.

"Well, to tell the truth I'd rather be with you all day then go to any of my classes." I explain, playing with the palm of her hand. Our fingers entwine and she smiles again, meeting my eyes.

"Your hands are so cold."

"It's this fucking school."

"I can warm you up." Her hands connect as she wraps her arms around my hips. I do the same to her, except at her shoulders. My lips meet with her temple, shyly showing her affection. For a second I hope she doesn't notice, but all I hear is a tiny giggle escape her lips. Her hair smells of cinnamon, and if you look closely there are dark brown streaks throughout. The clothes she wears are stylish, yet unique. Shopping with Carrie would be an interesting experience. Sparkles would never dare show in her wardrobe, but flowers can't seem to stay away. Anything that blooms appears on her skirts and blouses. Her pink skirt waves into my legs, rubbing between them as I make my way through the school.

"Here we are." We arrive outside the door of the physics room and Carrie moans.

"I don't want to go Roger. Can't we skip today?" She asks, trying to find anyway to get out of school today.

"What? You never skip. You always give me shit when I do."

"Well, now I'm starting to see why you do it." I chuckle softly at her before turning back towards the exit of the school.

"We could go now if you want. There are so many people here I don't think they'd notice." I glance around at all of the teachers standing in the halls, awaiting the ding of the first bell.

"Yes, let's go. I never do anything adventurous."

Before she can protest I pull her along to the door. We slip out, hand in hand, without anyone spotting us. Buses are still letting off at the front, and Carrie is bombarded by a group of her friends. I struggle to keep her in reach, but our hands are eventually torn apart.

"Carrie! Where are you going? The bell rings in five!" They scream around her, and she looks worriedly at me. I sigh with frustration, and dig through the girls to find her hand.

"Come on Carrie." I say, lugging her away from the distraction. She looks back apologetically at her friends, as they remain confused and betrayed.

My car is parked right by the entrance, and before I know it we are on the road. Carrie immediately falls asleep on the seat next to me, as I fight through the morning hour traffic.

"Where should we go?" I ask after I notice her wake up.

"I don't know. Maybe we could just spend the day in the city. Go to lunch, and just spend some time together."

"All right."

"But no guitar, Roger. I want you to spend time with me." Her hand presses against my shoulder, trying to convince me I don't need it.

"Okay, I guess." I give in, and hear her squeal next to me. The city comes into sight, the sun rising over the tops of the silver buildings.

"Let's go babe!" She runs out of the car into the street and motions for me to come with her. Without looking, she crosses the street to a small coffee shop, and my breath catches.

"Carrie! What the fuck!" I scream at her, watching her turn around in shock.

"What?" Her voice is so innocent. Just to think she could be lying in the street unconscious right now is a scary.

"You almost got hit by that car. Didn't your parents tell you to look before you cross the street?" I follow my own orders, glancing in both directions before meeting her on the other side of the sidewalk.

"Oh. Sorry. I'm just a little too excited."

"Do you think you need coffee? More caffeine won't help matters." I say, as she looks in the window to the shop.

"Yes. I'm so thirsty. Plus, it will be a fun start to our morning together." Her smile appears again, this time to persuade me to come in with her. I can't possibly refuse, and hold the door open for her to walk through. "Thank you hun."

It's nice and warm inside, added with the overwhelming scent of cinnamon and frosting. There are six or seven little tables, all occupied by various amounts of people. Shit. Where are we going to sit?

"Oh no. There are no seats." She pouts, just as someone gets up to leave. "Oh yes! Quick, grab that table." I'm not quick to get it, but instead I take my time walking over to it. "Roger! Hurry! Jesus!" I scoff and stick my tongue out at her.

"I'm getting there. Give me some time." I laugh, and she rolls her eyes at me. A whole day with Carrie will be quite an adventure.

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