Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion so don't sue me, you'll only get pocket lint :P
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Lonely No More
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Beginning Author's Note: A short Shinji/Asuka Romance oneshot dedicated to my good pal Guruark who's having a birthday on Monday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAN! ... I hope you like it :)
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Smoke filled the Katsuragi residence… smoke and a burning stench. Shinji cursed at himself for not paying attention, 'Damn! I should have been paying closer attention with the food instead of folding laundry!' he reflected and put out the fiery cooking pan. He sighed and took out a pot of burnt noodles and placed them on an unlit burner. He winced when he heard stomping noises coming from the living room and sighed as he saw a very angry looking German girl come toward him,
"Shinji! Why is the house full of smoke! You didn't burn the food did you!" She demanded, "You KNOW it was that last food we had and Misato still didn't get her pay check from Nerv yet!" she said and glared at the quivering boy in front of her, Shinji sighed defeatedly,
"Yes, I burnt the food-"
"WHAT!"
"But it was an accident!" he quickly added, knowing it wouldn't help but he had to say something. Asuka growled,
"NOW what are we suppose to eat! You weren't slacking off were you!" She hissed, Shinji frowned,
"I was not! I was busy and didn't see it happen!" he retorted, Asuka huffed and crossed her arms,
"You were probably doing something perverted weren't you?"
"WHAT!"
"Yeah, that's what you were doing, you were probably reading porn or something" she said with a malicious smirk, Shinji half glared at her,
"How could you say that? I do everything in this house! How was I suppose to fold the laundry, clean up after Misato and her beer can problem AND watch to see if the food was burning all at once! Look I don't want to fight anymore, just go back to what you were doing and I'll think of something alright?" he said and turned back to the burnt noodles, frowning thoughtfully at them.
Asuka smirked, "I don't see how you could burn it anyway, you're life is around cooking, that's the only thing you're good at, you're pretty useless around everything else baka-Shinji" she said smartly and regretted it right after, feeling guilty for saying something so mean. Shinji's eyes widened when he heard that.
Shinji had it; she went too far with that comment, he spun around and glared at her. "I don't need you saying that about my life! You know nothing about me! You're always pushing people who want to get close to you away! You always try to be the best, never admitting when you did something wrong. So what if I burnt it! I hardly ever do, it's a mistake people learn from… oh but I'm sure you never had to cook or make a mistake because mommy did everything for you… or did she do it for the doll?" he nearly yelled and immediately regretted it, 'OH NO! What did I do!' he screamed inwardly, Asuka was beyond shocked, she was petrified, and deeply injured… how could he bring up such a tender subject to the girl he cared for so much?
Asuka's eyes watered, she shut her mouth with a snap and attempted to glare at him through trembling lips, tears, and shakes… but she couldn't… and she would be caught dead before breaking down in front of the "spineless wimp". Instead she spun on her heels and marched right to her room. Shinji winced when she slammed the door. 'How could I do something so stupid?' he asked himself, trying to control his own tears from spilling from his eyes, 'I hurt her so much… I never…' he shook his head and dragged himself to his room.
That night was terrible for Shinji, not even the lulling sounds of his music could ease his mind. 'Why! Why did I have to go and meddle with something I had not right to? I didn't even know anything about her mother!' he yelled at himself and groaned angrily when he remembered her silent tears… by now the sounds of quiet sobs had stopped but he still could not rid his mind of the sounds of her crying… 'She must be asleep by now- GOD! She must really hate me now!' he thought sadly and closed his eyes, 'In the morning… I'll…. I-I'll set things right, I'll apologize and- god she's not going to forgive me… she never gets over something that fast and this was really personal' he twisted around in bed and tried to sleep.
Meanwhile, Asuka had stopped crying, she was currently in turmoil. 'How could he! How could he bring her up the way he did! I know I've been cruel to him… too cruel…' she frowned thoughtfully, 'Maybe… maybe I deserved that… no, not even that… even that was too much…' she sniffed, attempting to stop another wave of sobs from racking her body. She shook her head and frowned sadly, 'I don't understand… I shouldn't be feeling this way… Why? Why should I care what that idiot has to say! I don't care about him! … Do I? … … I… I don't… do I?' she asked herself and couldn't control new tears from falling, she quickly wiped them away, 'How could I he hurt me so much? Doesn't he care? He always showed some sort of caring for me… but apparently it was all a farce…' she reflected sadly and angrily, she huffed and sniffed again as she closed her eyes, twisting in her bed so she faced the wall. Asuka fell asleep… but in her sleep her dreams followed and they were not happy dreams…
- - - Dream Sequence - - -
Asuka stood in a world of nothing, she looked around and frowned, 'Where am I?' suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, a huge doll appeared, Asuka gasped when she saw it, next to it was her mother talking to it as if it were her!
"How are you dear? How was your first day of school?" her mother asked the doll, the doll just continued to stare blankly through it's button eyes, her mother smiled happily at it. Asuka then saw a six year old version of her running happily toward her mother,
"Mummy!" she called happily but got no response from her mother, she tried again
"Muuuumy!" but still no response, her mother just laughed happily and hugged the doll to herself,
"Mummy?" her six year old self said, tears brimming in her big and pretty eyes, her mom just laughed again and walked away. Asuka saw in horror as her younger self cried and tried to go after her mother but instead run into nothing and she watched as her mom faded away as her younger self got near her.
"No mummy don't leave me!" she cried and faded away as well. Asuka was in tears and she shook her head violently,
"NO! NO NO NO!" she cried and fell to her knees but instead of having her knees touch the ground she began falling… falling and falling and falling until she fell into another room of nothing… and then it started over again… always starting with the same doll and her mom caring on a happy conversation with it instead of herself… this happened over and over again and didn't seem to ever stop…
- - - Dream sequence over - - -
Right when Shinji was beginning to fall asleep a muffled noise caught his attention. He sat up in bed and heard the noise again, he looked toward his right and saw it was coming from Asuka's room, he frowned and got up. He walked toward her door and stopped. She was crying again but she was also talking…
"No!" she cried, "No mummy! Notice me! Please…" she sobbed and thrashed in her bed, Shinji frowned, the pain she was feeling was because of him…
"I mustn't run away. I mustn't run away. I mustn't run away… I… I wont run away" he concluded and breathed in deeply, "I can't run away… I have to… I have to help her…" he said and opened her room, he saw her in a fetal position, clutching her sheets tightly and sobbing into the pillow. Shinji frowned sadly and felt his heart break. He walked to her bed and sat down next to her.
Asuka felt someone next to her and her eyes snapped open; she stiffened when she felt a hand on her head but immediately knew who it was. "Shinji?" she sniffed, "What are you doing here?" she asked, Shinji was surprised to find her voice so gentle; he got up and looked at her,
"I'm really sorry Asuka… I… I shouldn't have said that…" he said, a tear went down his cheek and he wiped it away, "I should go, I really am sorry for causing you so much pain…" he whirled around and began to head out but was stopped by her soft plea.
"No! … Please… don't go… I don't… I-I don't want to be alone anymore…" she cried, shaking almost uncontrollably and staring at him with wide, teary eyes, he looked at her sadly, and nodded, he walked up to her and sat down next to her, she immediately snuggled closer to him, he sighed and helped himself better on the bed, she froze when he gently grabbed a hold of her and placed her against his chest, she was shocked at how abrupt he was and jumped when she felt him caress her back but she quickly began to relax. She was amazed at how different he was and how much he changed in two years. She sighed against him and held on to him tighter.
"I should say sorry too…" she began,
"For what?" he asked softly, she smiled sadly,
"For always being so mean and dictatorial to you… all those times you were only trying to help and I pushed you away… you're right, I shouldn't be that way… I guess I just put up walls when my mother… ended her life without me… she, she didn't care about me, why else would I think others did too?" she said and managed to stop another wave of sobs, she almost yelped when Shinji tightened his hold around her.
"I understand but… Asuka, you aren't alone, I care for you, a lot actually, you don't know how much… You don't have to apologize, I know half of the time you didn't mean anything mean… and I know under that tough act you put on you're actually a really happy person who loves to smile and be with others. Asuka you aren't alone… I'll always be here for you" he stated and smiled when she completely relaxed in his arms, Asuka closed her eyes and smiled as well.
"I can always count of you can't I? You've always tried to be my friend… always tried to help, thank you" she said, finally relaxing her mind and letting her walls crumble. Shinji grinned,
"No, thank you… for letting me in, I do care about you Asuka…" he said and blushed and she stroked his cheek, she sat up so she was straddling his waste and smiled happily, he smiled back despite his huge blush.
"How much do you care about me Shinji?" she asked softly, his blush only grew which only seemed to interest her more, "yes?" she persisted, he sighed and looked down at his arms around her, he looked back into her eyes and smiled warmly,
"I guess… I guess I love you, I have for a while…" he said and blushed furiously again, he shut his eyes tight, waiting for the impending slap to strike him but was pleasingly surprised to find her hand caressing his cheeks instead of slapping it. He opened his eyes to look at a smiling Asuka, he looked into her eyes and was stunned to find longing and love in them, a sight he had never seen in the girl except when they where younger and she was around Kaji.
"Do you mean it?" she asked quietly, he snapped out of his dazed wonder and smiled affectionately at the beautiful girl in his arms,
"Yes, I do" he cooed and blushed again as she leaned into him and they began to close the gap between them,
"Shinji…" she started,
"Hm?" he asked as their lips just barely reached each others,
"I do too" she finished and was surprised to find him finishing the act and kiss her instead of like the way it happened when she was bored and kissed him. She was also pleasantly surprised to find him a good kisser. She wrapped her arms around him and smiled into the kiss as he hugged her closer to him. She raised an eyebrow when she felt his tongue graze her teeth, she smiled and let him in, she was amazed to find him so bold as he explored her mouth with his tongue and began kissing her increasingly passionately, letting all his love show in the kiss. She full-heartedly kissed him right back with just as much fervor and love. They held each other and kissed the rest of the night as the memory of burnt food and an argument faded into nothing…
The End