Devil on the Run (Part 5/Epilogue)
A Kodomo No Omocha fanfic
By Iris C - [email protected]
Completed: July 25th, 2001
Legal Disclaimer: Kodomo no Omocha (Child's Toy), Kurata Sana and
Hayama Akito, belong to Obana Miho (yea! Obana-san!) Ichibin, Kimura
and Hidaki belong to me…
DISCLAIMER: Sappy. Weird. Confusingly fragmented. BLEAK end. Sad end.
Bad end. No sympathy end. ^^;;
Notes: Comments implored! ^o^ If you don't like how this is turned out,
please blame my muse. We were listening to one minute really really sad
music and then one minute really really perky music, and then one
minute really angry music. ^^;; Caused an unbalance flow of neurons or
something.
... Flashback
'...' Thoughts
Visit my Kodocha SITE at: www.geocities.com/knosite
It was raining; sheets of water fell mercilessly albeit my constant
blinking. Blind to the world, I watched as molds of objects drew hazes
around me: the streetcars, the lights from bars, and the curious
stares. Nothing was in focus. Nothing…
Then I realized it wasn't just the rain, or the cars, or the lights, or
the stares.
I was crying.
And I wonder if the world was crying with me, or if I was crying with
the world...
"YOU DON'T THINK I WOULD SHOOT DO YOU!?!? YOU THINK I'M TOO SCARED TO
SHOOT
YOU DON'T YOU?"
"AKITO!!!"
"ICHIBIN! ICHIBIN!"
I squeezed my eyes shut. 'Ichibin… Ichibin…Why? Why me?'
I'll always back you up.
'No! You don't live like that! I'm useless to this world. I'm nothing!
You have so much...so much.'
I don't know exactly how far I ran with Ichibin on my back, with his
blood frolicking beside my body. I don't know how I even escaped from
the harbor and the police, but I did.
Knock knock knock.
Her door swung open immediately, as if she had sat there and waited for
this her whole life.
"Hayama..." her eyes tainted by fear. "ICHIBIN..."
"Sana, please, take care of him, please…don't let him die, please," I
begged while lying an unconscious Ichibin on the carpet.
"Hayama..."
"I have to go. They are after me. I know they are. I can't let them
see… Ichibin… Ichibin has nothing to do with what I have done," I
pleaded desperately, naming my last wish. "Onegai."
She was crying, sobbing, shaking.
I grabbed her hand, amidst the rain. "Thank you, Sana. Thank you for
everything."
Everything.
They say life is precious. I was given a life. How I treated the life
can be summed up in one sentence, 'screwed up royally.' So many things
I would like to change, so many things I can't change. They say you
should always learn from your mistakes. I made mistakes and never
learned from them. Does that explain why I turned myself in and now I
have all the time in the world to dwell on how I wasted a life?
In control, calm, unbreakable, I was all of that times three. Hayama
Akito always knows what to do, Hayama Akito always knows…
Hayama Akito doesn't know anything at all. Hayama Akito wants to cry
very badly. But Hayama Akito could only stare at the ceiling of the
cell, letting it devour the front he had built for himself.
"You have a visitor."
A visitor.
They let me out without words as my heart pounded. A visitor? Who?
Oh…her…no…no…I can't face her…
"Hayama," she was smiling, smiling so bravely through porcelain tears.
"How…how have you been?"
I watched her face through the transparent glass, could almost touch
her, ...almost...touch her...
"All right," I whispered.
She nodded. "Ichibin would be here, but he's still in treatment."
I felt the nerves of my body perk. "How is he?"
"He's all right. They bullet went through his spine, but he survived,
and, his condition is stable."
Ichibin was all right. He was all right.
"I see, that's great. Thank you."
"No need."
Silence.
A hand went into her long tresses of brown hair, combing it in
frustration. Sana's eyes dimmed, as if she was fighting an inner devil.
"Hayama…" she looked up finally, face tore in ambivalence. "I have to
tell you something."
She looked broken, shutting her eyes, hands against her head, for the
first time in my life, Kurata Sana looked older than she actually was.
"I told them, Hayama. It was me."
"Huh?"
"I found the crumbled paper and called the police, and that's why you
are in jail and that's why Ichibin will probably be a cripple for
life," she rushed, sounding desperate.
I felt my mouth open slightly.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry Haya…I…I'm sorry. I had to, I…"
I brought my hand to the glass, against her cheek, trailing the single
tear falling from her brown eye. .
She watched my finger as it hit the surface of the desk.
"I miss you," I whispered. "I miss you."
Sana pressed a hand against the glass. "I…I love you, Akito. Please,
please don't hate me…I had to. I don't want you doing this anymore. You
are ruining your life this way and, and I'm sure you will be okay after
the trial-"
I pushed my hand against hers, an invisible layer of pristine glass
between us. "I can never hate you, Sana."
It wasn't her fault. I deserve where I am now. I deserve it all and so
much more. But still, vaguely, barely, I wonder if she was proud of me
for finally submitting.
Would it be an obvious lie if I said I was happy? It would sound like
it wouldn't it? Especially when I have a death sentence on my head. The
courtroom scene was grim. Every charge was against me until I got hit
with the murder of Kimura. I almost laughed, watching as each of them
testified against me. All of them wore the same angry eyes, as if it
was all my fault.
It was all my fault.
I think justice does exist in this world after all. She veils herself
quite cleverly, deceiving sinners, let them crawl and bleed before the
final blow. I think I like her. She does her job well. She does her job
very well.
Screaming, outside, ranting, crying…
"Oi! You have visitors!" a guard let me out into a larger visiting area
this time, where bars separated us instead of glass. That's when I felt
my heart drop.
"Akito!" he slammed his fists against the metal bars while she stood,
silently watching.
"Ichibin! Ya matte!! (stop it)" I rushed toward them. "Ichibin."
Ichibin was in a wheel chair, shaking, crying, insane like.
"Akito, it's all my fault. You can't die! You can't! I'll kill those
guys! All of them are liars! Liars! LIARS!! I'll kill them!"
All right, okay, I'm angry now. "Shut up!" I yelled. How dare he say
that? "Don't you be talking like that? I don't need you to be killing
anyone! Fuck-" I rubbed my temples. "How can you say that after all
these years? Have I been that bad of an influence? You are going to
live and grow up and-"
"If you die, I die."
Sana gasped, her eyes wide and fearful staring at Ichibin, whose eyes
carried such determination.
"You..." I whispered, then looked down, then started kicking the metal
bars.
Kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick
"Hayama," Sana whispered.
I looked up and saw Ichibin sobbing.
"Ichibin...quit it, Ichibin."
"Gomen ne, Akito. If…if it weren't for me, I…burden, you wouldn't have
taken drugs and if I knew how to fight then Kimura wouldn't have gotten
me. If it weren't for-"
"Shut up!! SHUT UP! I don't want to hear it! Shut up! I don't know you!
Get the hell away from my sight! Go Ichibin! Go blame everything on
yourself! Go ahead! See if I give a damn," I struck against the bars.
"Ichibin, give us a moment," Sana said, pushing Ichibin out into the
corridor, ushering assuaging words then came back in, face drowned in
anxiety
"He loves you very much."
"He's a fool."
"Then I must be a fool also."
"Sana, please, don't."
"I can't help it, Hayama. I can't help it. You don't deserve this, and
I shouldn't have turned you in... Ichibin…Ichibin told me everything.
Kami-sama, how you survived all these years. I can't imagine Hayama…"
"Stop, it's no excuse," I said. "and you didn't turn me in, I turned
myself in."
"You can't give up. I'll get a better lawyer for you. We can get you
out. I swear it. You killed Kimura out of self-protection. He forced
you into this by kidnapping Ichibin! Oh why did they lie? Why did they
lie?"
"It doesn't matter," I said simply.
"It does matter! I love you, Hayama! You are the only one I've ever
loved! Don't say it doesn't matter, please…it does matter," she sobbed.
"Sana, I'm sorry, for leaving you all these years. I...I didn't mean
to."
She was still crying.
"Take care of Ichibin for me, don't let him do anything stupid, please
don't let him do anything stupid or I'll never forgive myself."
"No, you're going to take care of Ichibin yourself."
I smiled. "You always go spastic whenever I smile, will you now?"
"Hayama..."
"All right, time's up," the officer intruded in.
"No! Please, can we have a few more minutes?" Sana begged.
"Sorry, please, Miss, it's time."
"No, please-"
"I'm sorry," the officer grabbed her by the arm.
"Sana…" I whispered.
"Nani?" she spun around.
"Ai shiteru," I smiled.
Devil on the Run
End notes: Hoi...was that bleak or what? Bye Hayama. *x* I don't know,
uncertain of whether I like it or not. I do love the ending though,
even if it is dind of abrupt and… but alas, it's over. Sorta. Epilogue
still if you want to read it.
Devil on the Run
//Epilogue\\ --- 4 years later
"I'm so proud of you!"
"Hehe…I guess I did okay with all the jail time and probation huh?"
"You're just a big genius, valedictorian," Sana patted Ichibin on the
head. "Lucky, you know, I've never had one of those graduation hat
thingys."
"No? Well, that's absurd. Even a street rat like me did. Here," Ichibin
toppled his hat on Sana.
"Ahh ahh! Wait! No! I don't want it!"
"Nani? Why?"
"Well, because, I want to earn it."
"Really? Are you thinking about going to college?"
"Who knows? If acting ever start getting on my nerves. Maybe. It's
never too late, you know."
"Never," Ichibin stopped his car in front of Sana's house. "Well, here
you are."
"Heehee, thanks, for avoiding the publicity too."
"Anything to get my face in the paper instead of yours."
"Oh you'll never change."
"He wouldn't want me to."
He?
"Ichibin…"
"Maa...daijoubu, I just...I guess...I wish..."
"He's proud of you, Ichibin, very proud," I said then turned. "Ja ne!
Don't forget to visit, even if you end up getting a Nobel Prize for
building a time machine, you're still coming over to visit me!!"
A laugh. "Right."
Sana laughed in reply. "Bye!"
"Bye!"
The sun was shining, striking its rays through murky clouds. Sana
smiled.
I wonder if the world was smiling with me, or if I was smiling with the
world...
End Notes: This was quite a spontaneous ending. Very different from the
original one I had in mind. Would you like to hear the other endings?
No? Well, here you go anyway. ^^;; The first ending I thought of before
I even started writing, Ichibin was going to die, flat out, positively.
I have a thing for 'best friends' stories. Then I changed my mind, and
decided Hayama was going to die, only out of suicide. That was much too
depressing, so I thought Hidaki (the stoic, unreadable one) was going
to step up and tell the truth, so Hayama wouldn't get a death sentence,
but a life sentence. But that would be just pointless. So this was the
ending I came up with, Hayama's dead, Ichibin's living. ^-^ Hey,
somebody has to die, or it defeats the moral of the story, which
is…don't do drugs unless you want to wallow in your self-hatred, I
guess. *-* Anyway, it's OVER! It was a fun ficcy, thanks to those that
read and reviewed. Oh, I realized that I didn't quite keep the Kodocha
essence alive in this, maybe I'll write a very KnO fic sometime, but
for now, KEEP the KODOCHA insanity alive!! ^_____^
A Kodomo No Omocha fanfic
By Iris C - [email protected]
Completed: July 25th, 2001
Legal Disclaimer: Kodomo no Omocha (Child's Toy), Kurata Sana and
Hayama Akito, belong to Obana Miho (yea! Obana-san!) Ichibin, Kimura
and Hidaki belong to me…
DISCLAIMER: Sappy. Weird. Confusingly fragmented. BLEAK end. Sad end.
Bad end. No sympathy end. ^^;;
Notes: Comments implored! ^o^ If you don't like how this is turned out,
please blame my muse. We were listening to one minute really really sad
music and then one minute really really perky music, and then one
minute really angry music. ^^;; Caused an unbalance flow of neurons or
something.
... Flashback
'...' Thoughts
Visit my Kodocha SITE at: www.geocities.com/knosite
It was raining; sheets of water fell mercilessly albeit my constant
blinking. Blind to the world, I watched as molds of objects drew hazes
around me: the streetcars, the lights from bars, and the curious
stares. Nothing was in focus. Nothing…
Then I realized it wasn't just the rain, or the cars, or the lights, or
the stares.
I was crying.
And I wonder if the world was crying with me, or if I was crying with
the world...
"YOU DON'T THINK I WOULD SHOOT DO YOU!?!? YOU THINK I'M TOO SCARED TO
SHOOT
YOU DON'T YOU?"
"AKITO!!!"
"ICHIBIN! ICHIBIN!"
I squeezed my eyes shut. 'Ichibin… Ichibin…Why? Why me?'
I'll always back you up.
'No! You don't live like that! I'm useless to this world. I'm nothing!
You have so much...so much.'
I don't know exactly how far I ran with Ichibin on my back, with his
blood frolicking beside my body. I don't know how I even escaped from
the harbor and the police, but I did.
Knock knock knock.
Her door swung open immediately, as if she had sat there and waited for
this her whole life.
"Hayama..." her eyes tainted by fear. "ICHIBIN..."
"Sana, please, take care of him, please…don't let him die, please," I
begged while lying an unconscious Ichibin on the carpet.
"Hayama..."
"I have to go. They are after me. I know they are. I can't let them
see… Ichibin… Ichibin has nothing to do with what I have done," I
pleaded desperately, naming my last wish. "Onegai."
She was crying, sobbing, shaking.
I grabbed her hand, amidst the rain. "Thank you, Sana. Thank you for
everything."
Everything.
They say life is precious. I was given a life. How I treated the life
can be summed up in one sentence, 'screwed up royally.' So many things
I would like to change, so many things I can't change. They say you
should always learn from your mistakes. I made mistakes and never
learned from them. Does that explain why I turned myself in and now I
have all the time in the world to dwell on how I wasted a life?
In control, calm, unbreakable, I was all of that times three. Hayama
Akito always knows what to do, Hayama Akito always knows…
Hayama Akito doesn't know anything at all. Hayama Akito wants to cry
very badly. But Hayama Akito could only stare at the ceiling of the
cell, letting it devour the front he had built for himself.
"You have a visitor."
A visitor.
They let me out without words as my heart pounded. A visitor? Who?
Oh…her…no…no…I can't face her…
"Hayama," she was smiling, smiling so bravely through porcelain tears.
"How…how have you been?"
I watched her face through the transparent glass, could almost touch
her, ...almost...touch her...
"All right," I whispered.
She nodded. "Ichibin would be here, but he's still in treatment."
I felt the nerves of my body perk. "How is he?"
"He's all right. They bullet went through his spine, but he survived,
and, his condition is stable."
Ichibin was all right. He was all right.
"I see, that's great. Thank you."
"No need."
Silence.
A hand went into her long tresses of brown hair, combing it in
frustration. Sana's eyes dimmed, as if she was fighting an inner devil.
"Hayama…" she looked up finally, face tore in ambivalence. "I have to
tell you something."
She looked broken, shutting her eyes, hands against her head, for the
first time in my life, Kurata Sana looked older than she actually was.
"I told them, Hayama. It was me."
"Huh?"
"I found the crumbled paper and called the police, and that's why you
are in jail and that's why Ichibin will probably be a cripple for
life," she rushed, sounding desperate.
I felt my mouth open slightly.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry Haya…I…I'm sorry. I had to, I…"
I brought my hand to the glass, against her cheek, trailing the single
tear falling from her brown eye. .
She watched my finger as it hit the surface of the desk.
"I miss you," I whispered. "I miss you."
Sana pressed a hand against the glass. "I…I love you, Akito. Please,
please don't hate me…I had to. I don't want you doing this anymore. You
are ruining your life this way and, and I'm sure you will be okay after
the trial-"
I pushed my hand against hers, an invisible layer of pristine glass
between us. "I can never hate you, Sana."
It wasn't her fault. I deserve where I am now. I deserve it all and so
much more. But still, vaguely, barely, I wonder if she was proud of me
for finally submitting.
Would it be an obvious lie if I said I was happy? It would sound like
it wouldn't it? Especially when I have a death sentence on my head. The
courtroom scene was grim. Every charge was against me until I got hit
with the murder of Kimura. I almost laughed, watching as each of them
testified against me. All of them wore the same angry eyes, as if it
was all my fault.
It was all my fault.
I think justice does exist in this world after all. She veils herself
quite cleverly, deceiving sinners, let them crawl and bleed before the
final blow. I think I like her. She does her job well. She does her job
very well.
Screaming, outside, ranting, crying…
"Oi! You have visitors!" a guard let me out into a larger visiting area
this time, where bars separated us instead of glass. That's when I felt
my heart drop.
"Akito!" he slammed his fists against the metal bars while she stood,
silently watching.
"Ichibin! Ya matte!! (stop it)" I rushed toward them. "Ichibin."
Ichibin was in a wheel chair, shaking, crying, insane like.
"Akito, it's all my fault. You can't die! You can't! I'll kill those
guys! All of them are liars! Liars! LIARS!! I'll kill them!"
All right, okay, I'm angry now. "Shut up!" I yelled. How dare he say
that? "Don't you be talking like that? I don't need you to be killing
anyone! Fuck-" I rubbed my temples. "How can you say that after all
these years? Have I been that bad of an influence? You are going to
live and grow up and-"
"If you die, I die."
Sana gasped, her eyes wide and fearful staring at Ichibin, whose eyes
carried such determination.
"You..." I whispered, then looked down, then started kicking the metal
bars.
Kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick kick
"Hayama," Sana whispered.
I looked up and saw Ichibin sobbing.
"Ichibin...quit it, Ichibin."
"Gomen ne, Akito. If…if it weren't for me, I…burden, you wouldn't have
taken drugs and if I knew how to fight then Kimura wouldn't have gotten
me. If it weren't for-"
"Shut up!! SHUT UP! I don't want to hear it! Shut up! I don't know you!
Get the hell away from my sight! Go Ichibin! Go blame everything on
yourself! Go ahead! See if I give a damn," I struck against the bars.
"Ichibin, give us a moment," Sana said, pushing Ichibin out into the
corridor, ushering assuaging words then came back in, face drowned in
anxiety
"He loves you very much."
"He's a fool."
"Then I must be a fool also."
"Sana, please, don't."
"I can't help it, Hayama. I can't help it. You don't deserve this, and
I shouldn't have turned you in... Ichibin…Ichibin told me everything.
Kami-sama, how you survived all these years. I can't imagine Hayama…"
"Stop, it's no excuse," I said. "and you didn't turn me in, I turned
myself in."
"You can't give up. I'll get a better lawyer for you. We can get you
out. I swear it. You killed Kimura out of self-protection. He forced
you into this by kidnapping Ichibin! Oh why did they lie? Why did they
lie?"
"It doesn't matter," I said simply.
"It does matter! I love you, Hayama! You are the only one I've ever
loved! Don't say it doesn't matter, please…it does matter," she sobbed.
"Sana, I'm sorry, for leaving you all these years. I...I didn't mean
to."
She was still crying.
"Take care of Ichibin for me, don't let him do anything stupid, please
don't let him do anything stupid or I'll never forgive myself."
"No, you're going to take care of Ichibin yourself."
I smiled. "You always go spastic whenever I smile, will you now?"
"Hayama..."
"All right, time's up," the officer intruded in.
"No! Please, can we have a few more minutes?" Sana begged.
"Sorry, please, Miss, it's time."
"No, please-"
"I'm sorry," the officer grabbed her by the arm.
"Sana…" I whispered.
"Nani?" she spun around.
"Ai shiteru," I smiled.
Devil on the Run
End notes: Hoi...was that bleak or what? Bye Hayama. *x* I don't know,
uncertain of whether I like it or not. I do love the ending though,
even if it is dind of abrupt and… but alas, it's over. Sorta. Epilogue
still if you want to read it.
Devil on the Run
//Epilogue\\ --- 4 years later
"I'm so proud of you!"
"Hehe…I guess I did okay with all the jail time and probation huh?"
"You're just a big genius, valedictorian," Sana patted Ichibin on the
head. "Lucky, you know, I've never had one of those graduation hat
thingys."
"No? Well, that's absurd. Even a street rat like me did. Here," Ichibin
toppled his hat on Sana.
"Ahh ahh! Wait! No! I don't want it!"
"Nani? Why?"
"Well, because, I want to earn it."
"Really? Are you thinking about going to college?"
"Who knows? If acting ever start getting on my nerves. Maybe. It's
never too late, you know."
"Never," Ichibin stopped his car in front of Sana's house. "Well, here
you are."
"Heehee, thanks, for avoiding the publicity too."
"Anything to get my face in the paper instead of yours."
"Oh you'll never change."
"He wouldn't want me to."
He?
"Ichibin…"
"Maa...daijoubu, I just...I guess...I wish..."
"He's proud of you, Ichibin, very proud," I said then turned. "Ja ne!
Don't forget to visit, even if you end up getting a Nobel Prize for
building a time machine, you're still coming over to visit me!!"
A laugh. "Right."
Sana laughed in reply. "Bye!"
"Bye!"
The sun was shining, striking its rays through murky clouds. Sana
smiled.
I wonder if the world was smiling with me, or if I was smiling with the
world...
End Notes: This was quite a spontaneous ending. Very different from the
original one I had in mind. Would you like to hear the other endings?
No? Well, here you go anyway. ^^;; The first ending I thought of before
I even started writing, Ichibin was going to die, flat out, positively.
I have a thing for 'best friends' stories. Then I changed my mind, and
decided Hayama was going to die, only out of suicide. That was much too
depressing, so I thought Hidaki (the stoic, unreadable one) was going
to step up and tell the truth, so Hayama wouldn't get a death sentence,
but a life sentence. But that would be just pointless. So this was the
ending I came up with, Hayama's dead, Ichibin's living. ^-^ Hey,
somebody has to die, or it defeats the moral of the story, which
is…don't do drugs unless you want to wallow in your self-hatred, I
guess. *-* Anyway, it's OVER! It was a fun ficcy, thanks to those that
read and reviewed. Oh, I realized that I didn't quite keep the Kodocha
essence alive in this, maybe I'll write a very KnO fic sometime, but
for now, KEEP the KODOCHA insanity alive!! ^_____^