Chapter 11: Truths and Lies

Edward walked side by side with his brother, both of them silent. While thoughts were heavy upon Edward's mind, Alphonse seemed practically care-free, a sweet smile upon his face. Oh, to be so happy… Edward wished he could be like that.

"Al…"

"Hm?" His brother turned to him.

Ed opened his mouth but then shook his head. "Never mind…"

"Teacher is going to be really surprised to see you," Alphonse said with a smile. "Let's just hope she doesn't beat us up."

"I'm sure she'll find a reason to," Ed grumbled, thinking about all the poundings Izumi Curtis had given him before. Maybe visiting her wasn't such a good idea…

-

Even though it was a different house, a different shop, Edward could still tell that it was hers. She had an aura around her, an air of quiet grandiose, beautiful strength… and the darkness of her heart was closer to the surface. He could tell that fully, most of all, because he too suffered from it.

Alphonse knocked, and Edward suddenly felt uncomfortable. Izumi could always see right through him… but better it be her than Wrath, he supposed, for the boy was even more disturbing now than he had been before.

Mason opened the door.

"How's it going?" Ed joked, grinning.

Mason's eyes filled with tears at the sight of the boys. "Ed… Al…" He whimpered, and they laughed.

Ed however trailed off when he expected something was wrong. Alphonse followed quickly after, and the busted into the room, looking around in a panic for a sign of something horrible.

"What's going on? What happened?" Ed shouted, eyes wide with fright.

"…I'm so glad you're here… They said Izumi's… on her death bed…"

"What?!" Edward and Alphonse both cried.

Panic spread in Edward's heart as he bounded off down the hall. Sound had escaped him, as if he had gone deaf. He wasn't even sure if Alphonse and Mason were behind or if they had just watched him go.

Slamming open the door to a room, sound returned, and the first noise he heard was a shuddered gasp from himself.

Izumi lay in the bed, her dark hair spread out all around her, pale like the sheets she laid in.

"Teacher!" Edward cried, his voice trembling.

Her eyes opened slowly and she looked at him in surprise. "Ed…ward…" She rasped.

He approached and kneeled down at the bed, taking her hand. "Teacher! It is! It's Edward!" It was now that he was realizing that the sense of dread he'd held before they'd arrived was much worse than he'd thought.

"Edward…" She whispered, and a smile came across her lips. She looked thin and frail… So alien was this woman from his teacher that he had trouble believing it was her. "You… You came back… You're alive…"

Ed nodded, a knot forming in his throat that would not go away no matter how many times he tried. "Teacher…"

She touched his face softly. "What happened to you? You're… different…"

His eyes filled with tears. "You can still see right through me, can't you…" He whimpered, smiling pathetically. "This isn't about me… Please, don't do this, Teacher…"

She forced herself up into a sitting position, blood spewing from her lips that she wiped clean with shaking hands holding a white cloth. "Edward…" She said, her weak eyes meeting with his.

He couldn't take it anymore. Everything he had been holding back until that moment spilled over. "TEACHER!" He screamed, throwing his arms around her and sobbing into her shoulder. "Don't do this to me! I need you now more than ever! Don't die!"

Instead of barking at him and ordering him to straighten up like was typical of her, she put her arms around him and allowed his tears to fall.

"I didn't want our reunion to be like this…" Ed whimpered, clutching to her back. "You don't know… what I've been through… I can't handle this. Not right now."

"I'm not going to die without a fight, Edward," She soothed, her breath shallow against his neck. "Don't worry about me… Doctors have been putting me on my death bed for years now."

Even though he had trouble believing her, her words still managed to calm him down and settle his wails.

"Seeing you alone has made me feel alive. For a minute, I thought I'd actually died and you were there to greet me… Seeing you in flesh and blood gives me strength. I can go on too…" She said.

"Don't do that… Yell at me and beat on me like you always do… This isn't like you, Teacher…"

He now became more aware of his surroundings as his tears ran dry. Sig, her husband, was sitting on the other side of the bed, resting. Alphonse and Mason were standing in the doorway, and Al looked as if he'd seen a ghost.

Izumi pulled away from Edward and held her hand out to Al, beckoning him. "Well, don't just stand there. I haven't seen you in three months, and all you're going to do is stare at me?"

Alphonse walked in quietly and sat down on her bedside, not looking at her. By his calm nature, Edward could tell that he'd experienced something similar to this before, but perhaps it had never been this bad.

"You think you're going to pull another fast one on fate, Teacher?" Alphonse asked, hope in his voice.

"I don't plan on dying until I'm gray in the head," She smirked. "Good thing you guys aren't always around turning my hairs that color, eh?"

"Yeah," Edward murmured, his head dropping onto her lap. He remembered doing the pose before, a long time ago… with his mother… He would lay his head on her lap while she was feeding Alphonse a bottle and wait for her.

Now that he was laying there, he thought about that childhood. It was so full of waiting… Waiting for his mother to finish with Alphonse's lunch, waiting for his father to come home, waiting for the seasons to change, waiting for his mother to come back…

He didn't want to wait on anything anymore. It was waiting that had driven him to the brink of insanity and back again, and he'd grown so exhausted over those times that he doubted his brain could handle it now.

"I'm staying here with you tonight," Edward told her. "I won't take no for an answer, and by morning, I hope to see you walking…"

He knew it was selfish… but for once in his life, he wanted to be.

-

His sleep was restless, even with Alphonse snoozing by his side. The sky remained cloudy all night, though not a drop of rain fell. Staring out the window into the deep darkness, Edward couldn't help but wonder why it was waiting… Everything, everyone, waiting, waiting, waiting…

Unable to sleep, he got up and padded barefoot to the bathroom. He stared at himself in the mirror for a long time. What are you waiting for? Why are you waiting? He asked his reflection with his eyes.

"Edward."

He turned his head in a flash and saw his teacher in a wheelchair, leaning her head against the doorway, watching him. "Can you not sleep either?" She asked with a smile.

-

After pushing her chair into the kitchen, he made them both coffee and sat next to her, staring into the cup and not drinking it.

"It's just you and me right now, Edward. Tell me what's on your mind," She said, her long fingers tapping the cup.

"I'm… a homunculus."

Her eyes widened in surprise. "What?"

He didn't look up. "I'm… different though… Envy, he pulled me back through the gate, but something happened to me while I was there… I… still have my soul… but…" He pulled up his sleeve and showed her the markings. "I have these… they haunt me… I can't take it!" He quickly hid them away again.

"You're always full of surprises, aren't you," Izumi said gravely.

"I don't know what's happening to me, Teacher…" He clenched his coffee cup more tightly. "I mean… I don't know if I'll always retain my sense of being… What if I lose control and hurt someone? W-- Someone told me that this has something to do with Dante, that she's calling the shots, and that there's a hole… in the gate… I don't know what to do…"

Izumi pried his hand away from the cup before he broke it and held it in hers. "Edward… you have to stop taking everything on your own. It's too heavy for you to carry by yourself. It's okay to ask for help sometimes, you know."

"I came here, didn't I?" He asked, half-smiling.

"Not for my help," She responded back. "Edward…" She pulled his glove off of his hand. "You still remember the things that I've taught you, don't you?"

"Yes," Edward mumbled, staring at his hand. "One is all and all is one."

"That balance has obviously been tainted by Envy."

"I know that… but somehow I feel as if I'm the one to blame… I'm… different than the other homunculi… so how do I know if I'm not the reason for all of this?"

"You're an idiot. Of course you're not to blame. You aren't like this on your own accord. Fate just has a way of screwing you, Ed."

"Well, if you want to put it bluntly like that…" Edward sighed, laying his head down on the table. "I know that I can't do it by myself… but… I'm afraid that anyone who gets involved will just end up hurt in the end… I can't feel responsible for that… That weight is heavier than every crisis in this world and the one on the other side… The guilt… is too much… for me. Really…"

She stared at the back of his head for a moment and then spoke. "Tell me everything. Maybe I can help."

He told her the story from the beginning to the point they were at right at that moment. He spoke quickly but did not stray on the details. He even spoke of Wrath, though hesitantly because of his teacher's relationship with the child. Ed was actually surprised with himself at how long it was, considering it hadn't happened long ago… and the more the events poured out of him, the more at peace he felt. Finally, he could tell someone, and he knew Izumi would keep it quiet unless absolutely necessary.

"Sounds like you've had a fun few days," Izumi smiled but was interrupted with a cough.

Ed looked away, not wanting to see the blood.

"Edward."

"What?" He asked, looking back at her.

"Everything will turn out all right."

He hung his head. "Yeah… okay…"

"Hey, now, Ed. You know I love you right?"

He smiled a little. "Don't say that. It makes me think this is the last time we'll speak to each other."

"But you know that, don't you?"

"…Yeah… I know…"

-

Edward awoke the next morning with his head on the table, cold coffee still sitting next to him. Izumi was gone, but he could smell breakfast being cooked either by Sig or Mason or both of them. He didn't move, not wanting to. All of the peace he'd found within himself by telling someone had seemed to vanish, replaced with the uneasiness of what was going to happen next.

"Ed…" Alphonse's voice. His brother shook him, unaware that he was awake. "You need to wake up…"

"I'm up, I'm up," Ed told him, rising up. His back ached horribly from sleeping with a hunch. "What time is it?"

"Eight o' clock, more or less," Al shrugged, smiling at him.

Edward stood, rubbing his shoulders. "We probably need to be heading back. Mustang and Winry will be expecting us." Truthfully, even if they weren't, he was beginning to feel uncomfortable with the fact that they weren't near him. His paranoia was growing steadily as his mind cleared, and he worried for Winry's safety, since Mustang could very well take care of himself. Of course, he figured once they got back, Izumi, Mason, and Sig would be on his mind constantly too.

After eating breakfast with the men of the house and Izumi, who looked a lot better than she had yesterday, they said their goodbyes and headed off.

Before they left, Izumi took Edward's hand and told him, "If you find out anything else, come back and tell me."

"I will," He said, placing his other hand over hers. "I promise I'll come back as often as I can."

-

"What did Teacher mean when she said, 'if you find out anything else'?" Alphonse asked, once they were well on their way.

"Ah…" Ed stammered, grinning nervously. "Don't worry about it. It's nothing."

Alphonse raised an eyebrow at him but didn't question him further. At least for now.

-

The day before…

"There!" Winry exclaimed, clasping her hands together, glitter in her eyes. "Sometimes I amaze myself."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Wrath grumbled, testing his new automail. He'd never admit it, but it truly was impressive that she had managed to fix it. "At least I don't have to limp anymore."

"Um…" Winry sat down on the bed next to his. "Can I ask you a question?"

Wrath glared at her. "Why should I allow that?"

"I fixed your automail, don't I deserve something?"

Wrath groaned, rolling his eyes, but said, "Fine."

"What happened to your skin?"

"Blunt, aren't we."

"I mean, it's not bad! I was just saying…"

"You dumb bitch, of course it's bad!" Wrath bellowed, fanged teeth flashing at her. "This is a side effect of almost being forced into the Gate."

Winry was silent, waiting for him to go on, horror splayed across her features.

Wrath flipped his matted mass of hair behind his shoulders. "What, doesn't your little pipsqueak of a boyfriend tell you anything?"

"Ed?" Winry responded automatically. "T…tell me what?"

Wrath raised his eyebrows with interest. "I guess that's a no," He smirked, eyes glinting wickedly. "Hilarious."

"What's he not telling me?" Winry begged.

"I don't think you've done enough for me to get the answer to that. I mean, there's so much I'm sure he's keeping from you."

Winry stood, lips trembling. "He wouldn't…"

"He didn't hesitate before he died," Wrath shrugged, looking at his fingernails. "Why should he have changed? The only difference is the severity of the secrets he's keeping, the lies he's telling."

"How do I know you're not lying?" She countered.

"You don't," He shrugged again, heading out of the room, "but then again, I've never actually lied to you. You technically have no reason not to trust me now… do you?" He looked over his shoulder, a devilish grin on his deformed face.

Winry didn't move, despite the fact that the homunculus was wandering free on military grounds. He has a point…what am I going to do?

Of course, she already knew the answer to that question.