Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. The use of its characters, locations, and universe in general is merely a lend. I only own the plot—or in this case, the dialogue.

A.N.: Back to the future… Here follows a conversation between adult Remus and Lily. I caved in and decided to bring Tonks back into the equation. And I think I took serious abuse of the word 'serious' (and its variations) in this chapter…

The setting for such a delicate matter as it will be discussed should be someone's private quarters. Probably Lily's. And since it's quite clear from the chapter title, it is about the summer holidays, the year of 1991.

Talks Over Coffee Mugs

Summer Flings

"I cannot believe I'm about to tell you this, but it is sort of fitting as you started it in a way, and quite frankly I can't talk about this with no one else."

"What is it?"

"This is so humiliating…"

"I thought you were already used to humiliation, Remus."

"Well, yes, years running about with James, Sirius, and Peter ought to have taught me that lesson eons ago, but I never thought I'd still suffer its effects as an adult."

"I wonder where you get such ideas from, darling. You should've known better, really."

"Apparently, I should."

"Now stop stalling and tell me this so vexing problem."

"All right. I found myself the subject of a bet."

"A bet? That's not so bad. What was it? Were you supposed to make Severus laugh, perhaps? Or wash his hair? That was very popular in our days at Hogwarts."

"No, you misinterpreted it, Lily. I was the subject of a bet. As in someone made a bet involving me."

"Oh! What, they were supposed to make you laugh? Now that's fairly easy. Or perhaps someone should try and get you mad, publicly. That would be a challenge, as you're always in so much control of your emotions."

"Well, this time I was fairly shocked. Although I do admit no one noticed it, they thought I took it all in stride."

"Naturally. And you didn't?"

"I'm afraid I failed miserably this time, although I did manage to conceal my shock behind a mask of impassiveness."

"Hmm. And what was the bet? I suppose I should know if I'm to understand why you are so troubled."

"I'm already regretting having started this conversation."

"Why? I'm not even teasing you that much. I'm being very nice, if I may say so."

"You are, but that won't last much longer. I can sense it."

"Remus, will you tell me already? If you keep stalling me I'm afraid I won't have another choice but make things even more difficult for you."

"Ah but would that be wise? After all, I might change my mind and never tell you of the bet."

"I could always slip Veritaserum in your coffee."

"I'm a very guarded person, Lily, and you'd have to carry Veritaserum in your pocket all the time."

"Who says I don't?"

"Do you?"

"You never know. It might come in handy."

"You are a very peculiar woman."

"Potions are a specialty of mine. And stop stalling me and trying to change the subject. What was the bet and who was involved?"

"You know, I've rehearsed this conversation in my head many times but I've never appreciated how truly difficult it would be to actually tell you this."

"It's usually how things work. And now I don't know if I should be worried or annoyed that you still hadn't told me. Is it that bad? It can't be something too serious, otherwise you'd be very straightforward, I'm sure."

"Yes, I think so."

"So it's only embarrassing. It's part of life, Remus. Now, you need my help and I need to know what happened. So they made a bet involving you. What, they were supposed to pull a prank in one of your classes?"

"Please. All students learn as first-years still that it's practically impossible to catch me unawares with a prank. Remember, I still am a Marauder."

"Indeed. And you're sounding awfully like Sirius, with the boasting."

"I know, I'm usually more modest, but I'm quite vexed with this whole betting business."

"Of which I still hadn't heard all the details. I'm starting to wonder if I ever will."

"All right. I'll tell you. So my darling pupils of my seventh year course of N.E.W.T.s decided to place a little bet. One of them was supposed to try and… the only word I can find to work here is 'seduce'. So they were supposed to seduce me."

"You're joking. Aren't you?"

"No, I am not."

"Why would they want to seduce you?"

"Of all comments, I think that was the least complimentary you could've made, Lily."

"Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't mean it like that, you know that. And I'm quite positive there are some more offending comments I could've made."

"I'm almost regretting to ask this, but like what?"

"Like, 'Who on Earth would want to seduce you?' or something along the lines of simply laughing right back at your face. Note that I didn't do those, and never would."

"All right. But back to the subject at hand, would you like to guess who was in charge of seducing me?"

"You can't be serious!"

"Close enough. His cousin, Nymphadora Tonks. Now you can laugh away."

"I don't think I can. I'm in shock!"

"Lily, look me in the eye and tell me you didn't plot this whole thing."

"Of course I didn't! What, you'd think I'm a Slytherin."

"I remember you once told me the Sorting Hat seriously considered putting you there."

"Oh, yeah. I forgot I told you that. Only I was muggle-born, obviously I couldn't go there."

"Indeed. And so you had nothing to do with this? And you didn't tell anyone of our previous conversations? I mean, this didn't get to Sirius, somehow?"

"I don't think so, although it is the sort of thing Sirius would have fun plotting. Have you told him already, by the way?"

"No. I'm afraid that if I tell him he'll either laugh at my face (because he already knew of everything) or he'll try to hex me into next week for somehow corrupting his innocent little cousin."

"It's not your fault, you didn't put them up to this. … Did you?"

"Of course not! Merlin, what are you thinking, Lily?"

"I'm just teasing you!"

"Don't tease with something as serious as this. I could get sacked. I could go to Azkaban!"

"Oh honestly. I'd hardly think they'd send you to Azkaban for having an affair with a student who is already of legal age, incidentally."

"How would you know? Have you ever had an affair with a student?"

"Yes, but only when I was a student as well. And it wasn't an affair, it was called dating."

"I love it when you tease me when you're supposed to help me."

"Oh what is there to help? There isn't a problem! You didn't do anything, did you? Then Albus can't sack you. In fact, I doubt he ever would."

"You're probably right."

"Only I wouldn't let other people hear of this, though I do know it's a hard thing to keep anything secret in Hogwarts for too long. And you probably should try at all costs not to let Severus hear this. He would certainly want you sacked."

"Really? You think so?"

"Obviously, considering how much he hated you and the boys back in the old days, and how seriously he wants the Defence post."

"I was being sarcastic, Lily."

"I know. But I figured it'd be more annoying if I answered seriously."

"Indeed."

"So? Are you and Nymphadora going out now?"

"Oh for Merlin's sake, Lily, no!"

"Why not? She's no longer your student, you wouldn't get sacked. She's of legal age, you wouldn't get thrown into Azkaban. And she is like a female Black so she should be perfect for you."

"You don't even know her. How can you think she's perfect for me?"

"You two have the same background, with a muggle-born father and a pureblood mother who was disowned by her family—"

"What, you picked up her record or something?"

"Just a bit of research with Sirius. As I was saying, she's quite mischievous and has troublemaking friends, so it reminds your own Marauder past—and present, and probable future. She's also quite brilliant since she got accepted into the Auror training programme."

"I'll give you that, she's brilliant and mischievous."

"And according to Sirius, she's 'colourful, loud, clumsy, and rebellious', and I remember you once said that's what you needed in a girl."

"Correction. You said that."

"No, I said you needed a girl who was the opposite of you, and that was the description you came up with."

"I was joking, Lily."

"Nonetheless. And you're forgetting the most important factor."

"Am I? What should it be?"

"She was the one who volunteered to seduce you."

"Well, yes, I could hardly see Charlie Weasley attempting to woo me."

"Why not? How would they know of your sexual preferences if you never date?"

"I dated you, and Marlene!"

"We know that, darling. But most people don't. And there are some rumours about…"

"Sirius and I were never in a romantic relationship!"

"Okay. Clearly, I've touched a rather sour point."

"Sorry, I'm just tired of telling people this. Where did they all get this idea that we were a gay couple?"

"Well, I don't know, you two are very close."

"So are James and I. Or James and Sirius! And you don't hear people saying they were ever a couple."

"There was something about it, actually, but since James and I are married, and there's Harry and Holly, they figured that was a lost cause, and decided to concentrate on you and Sirius."

"Sirius is married! He has twins!"

"Yes, but he was a bachelor till not very long ago, as are you."

"Are you one of those people who start these rumours, by any chance? Because you certainly seem to know an awful lot about it."

"No, I just hear a lot of it because people are under the impression I would know, being a close friend of yours and the wife of James, and that maybe I'd like to share the information."

"So people think all three of us were gay?"

"Four. Peter too."

"Unbelievable!"

"I know. You probably shouldn't have rattled so many people back in Hogwarts with all those pranks. Didn't Rita Skeeter have a cousin you boys once threw at the lake?"

"I assure you I never did something as childish and amateur as throwing people at the lake."

"Oh yes, your planks were always more stylish and elaborate."

"Very. However, Sirius and James threw many people at the lake! Well, in hindsight that probably wasn't a very good idea. Rita is very vindictive."

"That she is. You're all seriously toasted if she's the one spreading the rumours."

"Hum. We'll have to see into that. Is there anyone in your department you can spare me for some scooping, maybe?"

"Remus, my department is concerned with the mysteries of life, death, and magic."

"I know, that's why it's called the Department of Mysteries. What's your point?"

"We deal with serious stuff. I can't send you my personnel to check petty things like who is spreading rumours about your sexuality!"

"Not just mine, James's, Sirius's, and Peter's too. Don't you care about your friends' and your own husband's reputations?"

"Oh fine! Linus was getting on my nerves this week anyway. He'll get in touch."

"Thank you, Lily."

"No problem. And if you're so concerned with your reputation, I have an idea to stop these rumours quickly."

"I'm not asking Nymphadora out."

"Why not?"

"Because. It would be all wrong. I was her teacher!"

"She's not your student anymore."

"Right. But I am a teacher, and I'm too poor for someone like her."

"Remus, we're talking about a date, not a marriage proposal. Besides, what makes you think she would care if you're not rich? She has Black blood, but I don't think she cares that much about wealth, from what I heard of her."

"Okay. But I'm too old, you can't deny that."

"You're what, twelve years her senior?"

"Nearly thirteen."

"My grandfather was almost fifteen years older than my grandmother, and he still asked her out, and they got married, obviously. And that was over sixty years ago. People don't care about this."

"Well, I do. Besides, I'm—I'm too dangerous."

"Oh not the werewolf thing again!"

"Yes, the werewolf thing again, Lily. This is a serious matter."

"No, it's not. You make it a serious, complicated matter. Yes, people still have prejudices, but you're a very prestigious professor in Hogwarts even with the lycanthrope, you're respected for who you are. And as for the danger, there's Wolfsbane now. And like I said, it's one date. You don't have to marry her. Just give it a try."

"Hmm. I'm getting each time more convinced you've plotted this whole thing from the beginning."

"Well, if I did, it's only because I love you too much."

"Was that a confession?"

"No. Will you ask her out already?"

"Confess you planned this whole bet thing and maybe I'll consider it."

"Nice try, Remus, but I really didn't. But if you keep refusing to be sensible, I might have to go have a little chat with young Ms. Tonks and maybe she'll be able to persuade you. By the way, did she win?"

"What?"

"The bet. She was supposed to seduce you. Did she manage it?"

"That's between me and a specific group of my former class of seventh years."

"Ooh, spoil-sport."

"I aim to please."

"And—"

"Stop badgering me about Tonks."

"I've stopped badgering. But if you take too long to do something about it, I promise I'll be back with it."

"I don't doubt it."

"And I'll bring Sirius into it too."

"Oh Merlin… Surely this is bound to end badly?"

"It's up to you, really."

"Why do you keep doing this to me, Lily?"

"Because. You helped me and James to get together, and I'd like to do the same thing for you."

"Well. In that case, thank you for caring so much about me."

"Any time, Remus. Any time."