Chapter 19

"His Royal Highness Prince Jonathan of Conté, Lady Alanna of Trebond!" Alanna and Jonathan descended the stairs, and Alanna's violet eyes darted about, frantically searching for her twin. There he was: wearing blue-violet. Alanna grinned. Once they reached the bottom of the staircase, she practically dragged Jon over to Thom. The twins embraced.

"Happy seventeenth birthday!" they exclaimed together. Alanna laughed.

"One more year, Thom," she remarked. Thom smiled.

"One more year indeed," he replied. "How will you survive without me as an excuse to visit Jon?" Alanna blushed slightly, and swatted at Thom.

"For your information, squire, I don't know if she'll need you as an excuse in a year," Jonathan said. Alanna glanced at him, worried. What did that mean? Was he saying… was he saying that he didn't expect to be courting her in a year? Or that they would be married?

"Oh, and why not?" Thom asked, looking amused.

"Yes, why not?" Alanna probed. Jonathan glanced between the twins and burst out laughing.

"You two… no one would ever think you weren't twins!" Jonathan crowed. "Why not? Because I have a certain something up my sleeve." Alanna shivered. She was certain that meant he wanted to marry her.

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"Are you all right?" Jonathan asked quietly as he shut his door and threw the bolt. Alanna nodded and rubbed her bumpy arms.

"Fine," she replied. Jonathan put his hand on her shoulder. Alanna looked back at him. "Really, I am."

"You have goose bumps," he observed.

"I'm just nervous," she explained, glancing up to meet his eyes, praying that he wasn't laughing at her innocence. Her voice was a quiet whisper as she said, "I've never done this before." Jonathan wrapped her in his arms and rubbed her back.

"I know, Alanna. But I love you. And I've never had that luxury before." He'd made love without being in love? Alanna wondered. Doesn't that defeat the purpose? She shoved her thoughts aside as Jonathan slipped a finger under her chin and tilted it up. "Do you love me, Alanna of Trebond?"

"Yes," she whispered. "Of course I do."

He smiled, eyes full of a loving tenderness. "Then there's nothing to be nervous about."

His lips barely touched hers when Alanna kissed back with all her might. Jonathan took his hints from her and kissed her right back, making sure she led the way. Alanna ran her hands down Jonathan's arms and directed his hands to the lacing on her bodice. He moved his mouth from hers, to better see. As he kissed her neck, he whispered, "You're not scared."

"I lied," she whispered hoarsely. "I do that sometimes." Jonathan stopped suddenly and met her eyes.

"Were you when you said you loved me?" he asked skeptically. Alanna kissed him briefly.

"Would I be letting you do this if I didn't?" she replied. "Jon, I love you. I don't lie about the serious things." He smiled. "Now, can you keep going, please? I'm cold." Jonathan laughed softly and resumed removing her gown.

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"Alanna?" Jonathan asked, as they lay in his bed. Her back was against his chest. He kissed her shoulder. "Alanna?" She rolled over.

"Mm?" she replied. Jonathan could tell she wasn't really sleepy.

"I love you." Alanna smiled and brushed black hair from Jonathan's bright blue eyes.

"And I love you," she replied. He kissed her nose before burying his face in her neck.

"Mithros, Alanna," he said. "I…I don't know what to say…" Alanna laughed.

"What, you love me so much it hurts?" she asked, only half-teasing.

"Something like that," came the muffled reply. "Listen, Alanna. What I said before, about having something up my sleeve…"

"Jonathan, all I need to know about what you are about to say is this: are you about to propose to me?" Jonathan met her eyes.

"Do you want me to?" he asked. Alanna considered it for a moment, and then slowly nodded her head.

"I don't want to take the risk of losing you. I haven't known you very long and it's probably stupid, but I don't think I could ever be this way with anyone else. Just… just be Alanna. Not Lady Alanna, but Alanna, the woman. I feel so soft saying this, but… Jon, you make me forget that I'm supposed to be a proper lady." Jonathan kissed her.

"Mithros, Alanna, you have no idea how happy it makes me to hear you say that. Anyone you ask will say it's irrational, but I feel the same way. There's something inside that says, 'She's the one. She's the one who can rule beside you in the way you want. She's the one you love. No one else can replace her.' When I'm with you, Alanna, I'm not the prince. I'm not the heir. You just said it: when I'm with you, I'm just Jonathan." He entwined his fingers with hers and brought their joined hands between them. He stared at their hands for a moment before locking his eyes on hers once more. "Alanna, will you marry me?"

"Your parents will be furious," she pointed out. "They'll want you to marry a princess, or someone powerful, who will bring an alliance."

"I don't care, Alanna. I'm going to forget my parents for one minute and just do what I know is right. Alanna, forget that I'm me. If I were anyone else, what would you say?"

"Yes," she whispered. "I'd say yes."

"So why don't you say yes now?" Alanna's eyes filled.

"Because I'm scared. I don't want to give anyone all of me. Jon, when my father died, he called for my mother. I don't want that to happen to you if I follow her fate. I don't want you consumed by grief. I love you, Jonathan, but marriage terrifies me." She buried her face in his strong chest. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Shh, Alanna. Shh. Look at me." She looked up at him. "Don't apologize for being scared. You were scared tonight, weren't you?"

"A little," she replied.

"But you trusted me?"

"Yes."

"So trust me again. I won't make you do anything you don't want. Trust me, Alanna."

"But we haven't known each other very long-"

"You and your brother are so alike, and he talked about you endlessly. Alanna, I've known you for years. It was just a matter of meeting you and getting to know Alanna, the person, instead of Alanna, Thom's sister. Alanna, when Thom first told me about you, I knew that I would love you."

"Can you do that?"

"If the gods have it written for you, there is only one path you can take."

"In that case, I accept, Jonathan. I will marry you."

As the lovers kissed, the Great Mother Goddess smiled. "She found her path all on her own. Maybe things were better this way…"

Author's Note- DO NOT SEND ME A REVIEW SAYING, "Jonathan/Alanna would never do that!" Listen to me: this is OOC. Hear me? OOC. This is the FINAL CHAPTER. Yes, the FINAL CHAPTER. That's a nice ending right there. OK? NO MORE AFTER THIS. Now, REVIEW.