Hey people! I warn! It's a bit angsty ok I lie it's really angsty. Go easy on me cause this is my first fic, all I've ever done is read them and typed up a story for one of my friends.

"I don't want you! You ruined my life!" screamed mum.

Silence.

I didn't have anything to say.

It shouldn't have been this way I knew, but this was my life I couldn't change that.

"You bitch! You didn't even try to stop him! Just stood there watching. You wanted him to do it! Didn't you!" she screamed.

Still silence.

It was like a favourite film you kept watching over and over until you could quote every line. This wasn't my favourite movie, this was my life. My mother kept screaming until she was hoarse. Then it was just a frantic whisper until the drugs kicked in.

That's how it always stopped. The drugs slipped into the bottle of alcohol. Glass after glass, night after night she'd drink, scream, hit, cry, abuse and hurt. She was an alcoholic, an abuser a woman trying to get away from memories… nightmares.

Mum had become what she hated… her husband.

She must have loved him a lot before he got fired. I remember him before that too. Happy-go-lucky dad. The man who would come home and sneak up on mum and tickle her until she was crying from laughter and love. The man who would wrap me up in his arms every time I fell over or got teased. He'd tell me everything would be all right. I used to believe that no one could hurt me just as long he was there. I didn't know what real hurt was… not yet.

After he got fired he used to laugh and say, "I didn't like that place anyway. To stuffy!" it hurt him that he wasn't 'good' enough. That they needed a younger man.

We used to spend afternoons together, looking through the newspaper for a job. A week passed, we sent in 3 applications. 2 weeks: all returned. 3weeks, 4 more applications sent out. 4 week: rejected.

Week 5: beer. Week 6: he was on an 'alcoholic life support'.

It was like a last resort for him after having all of his applications rejected. No one wanted or needed him. That's what he said. But he was wrong, we needed him. I needed him.

Mum had a job. She started going there a lot more. When I asked why she just said that they needed the money now that dad didn't have a job. That didn't help him. She didn't tell me the other reason. I found out for myself. And it involved his fists and a piece of glass.