A/N: This is my first true Lily/James oneshot, believe it or not. Wow. I'm not sure how I feel about that.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Except my '94 Shadow, which refuses to run on Tuesdays. Or when it rains. So yeah, basically, I own nothing.
Warning: I had to throw in some Remus/Sirius. Just a bit of innuendo and hand holding, though. That's it! I swear.
"Hello, my name is Leanna, and I have a Remus/Sirius PROBLEM."
Rating: K+
Hyperventilating!James is my secret passion. Heh. Oh yeah, there's NO PETER. Because I hate him. He loses at life.
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The door burst open and James stumbled in, looking distinctly disheveled. Remus wondered vaguely if his friend had gotten any sleep the night before. He also made a mental note to lock his door more often.
"Knock much?" Sirius asked, pulling himself off of Remus from their position on the couch.
James didn't even have the presence of mind to be embarrassed.
"She… it just… and then… the noise… completely unnatural…" He began to babble incoherently.
He sunk down into the nearest chair and ran a hand through his already messy jet black hair.
"What happened, mate?" Sirius asked, now more concerned than annoyed.
"She… it…" James stuttered. He still didn't seem quite capable of coherent speech.
In between bouts of inane rambling, Remus managed to decipher a panicked, "We have to go."
Then, a few moments later, a muttered, "Hospital."
He shared a startled glance with Sirius.
"To St. Mungo's, you mean?" He asked. James nodded.
"What the hell happened?" Sirius demanded, finally losing his patience.
James finally looked up at his best friend, startled at his tone.
"Lily's having the baby." He stated calmly.
And then he fainted.
& & &
The first thing that met their ears once they had revived James and apparated to the hospital, was a blood curdling shriek.
"Where the bloody hell is my husband!" Lily's distinct voice drifted through the halls.
They found her room quickly and made their way inside.
"Here I am, sweetheart." James said, soothingly. "I just went to get our baby's godparents."
"Oh." Lily replied, calming down at the sight of Remus and Sirius. "Hello Remy. Sirius."
"Hey Lils." They responded.
"Er… how are you feeling?" Sirius ventured, after a moment of silence.
Lily gave him a look of pure loathing.
"Right. Bad question." He returned, a steady blush creeping up his neck.
Suddenly Lily was screaming again. James rushed to her side. He grabbed her hand and muttered something about breathing, but she pushed him away forcefully.
"This is all your fault, Potter!" She screamed. "You did this to me!"
Remus and Sirius took this as their cue to start backing towards the doors. James noticed.
"Cowards!" He called at his friends' retreating backs.
James, now alone, paced the room as he waited for his wife's contractions to stop. Eventually, she let out a sigh and collapsed against the headboard. He decided then that it was safe to approach her.
He sat on the edge of the bed and took her hand again.
"You're doing great, honey. Just brilliant." He told her with a smile.
"I should have been a lesbian." She said, by way of response.
James laughed.
"Well, just think, in a couple of hours our we'll have a new baby and it'll all be worth it." He told her softly.
Lily smiled slightly as James tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.
"Yeah." She whispered, closing her eyes. "Our little baby."
James leaned in to kiss her forehead when suddenly her grip on his hand turned vice-like. In mere seconds, the screaming started up again, followed closely by the cursing of his manhood.
James just continued to smile stupidly as he began to lose all feeling in his fingers.
He was about to be a father.
& & &
Out in the hall, Remus and Sirius were sitting in the hard-backed plastic hospital chairs, pretending not to hear the sounds emanating from the room they were seated across from.
"It's been quiet for a while now." Sirius commented tentatively. "D'you think it's happened?"
"Nah. We'd be able to hear the baby crying." Remus answered.
"Oh. Right." Sirius replied.
They lapsed into silence once more. After a few moments, fresh screams erupted from the room, only this time James' voice could be heard as well. His shouts were incomprehensible, but they sent several healers running into the room nonetheless. Remus and Sirius exchanged a glance. In the special unspoken language that they shared, they both agreed to be brave and go back into the room. They took a collective deep breath and followed the healers inside.
At the sight that met them however, they immediately regretted it.
& & &
"Mr. and Mrs. Potter, I'd like to introduce you to your son." The healer announced, handing the tiny, squirming newborn over to his mother.
"It's a boy!" Sirius shouted, giving a very Sirius-like 'whoop'.
"Congratulations." Remus offered, smiling brightly and holding tight to his boyfriend's hand.
James peered down at his son with an amazed expression on his face.
"He's perfect." He whispered in awe.
Lily offered the baby to her husband, slumping down into the hospital bed, wearing a happy but extremely exhausted expression.
James cradled the baby in his arms, laughing slightly as his tiny fingers closed around his thumb.
He walked over towards his two best friends.
"This is your Uncle Remus and Uncle Sirius." He said softly, as the aforementioned couple cooed over the new baby. "They're pretty good mates you know, except that sometimes Uncle Sirius tends to slobber a bit."
"Hey!" Sirius interrupted. "That's only when I'm a dog."
"Well, not only then." Remus couldn't help adding.
James covered the baby's ears and gave his friends a look of mock disgust.
"Please, not in front of the baby!" He scolded.
"That's another thing you'll learn about Uncle Sirius and Uncle Remus." He continued, as he turned back towards his wife and sat on the edge of her bed. "Always knock first."
Lily smiled up at him.
"And that's your mom." James said. "She's the most amazing woman in the entire world."
He leaned over and kissed his wife, their new baby cradled between them.
"Enough of that!" Sirius called out. "How about a name?"
James laughed.
"Alight, alright." He replied. "We'd been thinking, Harry, for a boy."
"Harry." Sirius repeated, testing the sound of the name.
The baby giggled. Lily's smile brightened.
"He likes it." She said.
"Well, that settles it then." Remus concluded. He knelt down by the bed. "Nice to meet you, Harry."
James smiled.
"I think I'm the luckiest man alive." He declared.
And looking around at the faces of his two best friends, his wife, and especially his son – he knew that it was true.
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Heh. What can I say? I was bored. REVIEW! Erm, please?