Suicide or Live

Chapter 1: Should I be here

Mikan was in bed… wondering… why was she born? Why must she live? Why? Mikan wondered. Mikan swept those thoughts away while getting ready… I'm SOO late! I really should get an alarm clock! Gin-gin is going to KILL ME! AH!"With that, she rushes out of her dormitory. "AH!" she shouted while speeding through the doorway .Mikan didn't see where she was running because her eyes were closed .So…BANG!

"What the HECK!" Shouted Natsume out of pure habit. Natsume turned around to find Mikan . "Isn't it the polka dotted panties girl? Can't you see where you were walking? I wonder where you put your eyes every time. Is it at the back of you head," said Natsume in a tone which was rather annoyed while glaring into Mikan's eyes. "Ah! Sorry Natusme! It was an accident! Can't you just chill out and am I that blind?" answered Mikan innocently having the puppy dog eyes in her eyes. Natusme just stared blankly at her as if to say yes. "Ah! I'm going to be late!" with that, she rushed off through the hallway to get to class.

Mikan usual habit was to… "Good MORNING! HOTARU-Chan!" Running towards Hotaru intending to hug her best friend tightly but she would always end up being shot by her baka gun…Sadly…she doesn't realize that it had happened to her everyday. "Mikan…don't you ever get bored of the baka gun?" replied Hotaru icily. "Bored? NO! It's painful! How can anyone get bored of it when the bullet is directing straight to my head?"

Natsume just walked in coolly noticing the whole incident and sat on his place. Ruka was following Natsume from the back with his pet rabbit on his hands. "Natsume … Are we going to skip class again? The next class is the substitute teacher's class." Asked Ruka curiously while patting his pet rabbit. "Well…I can stay in the class if you want…It's just that I'm afraid the annoying girl is going to annoy me later. So…I would prefer to go out," Natsume said that while standing up. Ruka quickly gripped Natsume's right hand tightly and said, "If so…wait until you get your attendance ticked by Tobita Yuu first," came Ruka's concerned words to Natsume quickly .Natsume just sat back down and watched Mikan's behavior.

"Mikan, don't you have anything better to do?"Asked Hotaru after being disturbed and annoyed by Mikan's behavior again and again during the second period as she was busy drawing plans for her new and improved baka gun. "At the moment… nope! So, I'll spend some quality time with my best friend!" was Mikan's reply in a happy manner. "Well…If you keep on annoying me…I think I'll take back the words about calling you my best friend." Hotaru said icily and Mikan immediately backed away into a corner cursing herself for disturbing Hotaru.

After some time, Mikan got over it and went to the tree where Natsume usually rests on. Natsume saw her as he heard some noises from below the tree. "Mikan, get off my tree, you're disturbing me," Natsume said with a glare so fierce that even the strongest man in the whole world would back off instantly...but Mikan just sat there quietly staring at the blue skies and feeling the breeze .Natsume was utterly shocked as Mikan would usually be making lots of noises so Natsume dropped himself lightly from the tree and stared at Mikan surprised by her sudden behavior. Natsume was about to turn away when…

Mikan said softly, "Natsume…Am I that useless … am I bothering everyone so much …am I needed to be here?" Mikan asked in a tone that was lifeless while gazing into Hyuuga Natsume's eyes hoping for an answer. "You just realized it don't you. I thought you were too blind to find it out yourself."Natsume replied teasingly still wondering why Mikan was asking weird question and having weird expressions on her face, a face that wanted to fade away and never return.

Mikan later looked downwards as if she's thinking about something really important and walked away slowly and faster every moment.

Natsume was now wondering what is truly wrong with her. Her behavior, reaction, everything was wrong! What's got on to her! There's something really wrong with her! What's up with her! Wait…..!Why am I worrying so much about her? Natsume walked round and round the tree where Mikan just sat, thinking very hard, why's he thinking about Mikan. Why am I thinking about that girl? Why am I so worried? Ah! Stupid brain of mine! Wait! I hope I have not developed and feelings for her! Shit! I better stop imagining things…