Author's Notes: We're at the end of yet another story. Thank you for everyone who read and reviewed, you guys have been my driving force through this story. And for those who read and didn't review, I hope you enjoyed (is that the right word for an angst-fic?) Reading.

Thanks Kegel for Beta reading this for me...and pointing out some glaringly obviously boo-boos...you're a lifesaver! And also thanks to Emmithar for a bit of well-needed guidance.

I love reviews! Especially "end of the story" reviews!

Jenny

Chapter Eight:

Sara's screams echoed through the hallway, and although it took Catherine no more than five seconds to get to the brunette, it felt like a lifetime as terror seized her heart. Stopping a few feet from the brunette, she was finally able to focus on what her hysterical colleague had stumbled across.

Her first instinct was to shelter Sara, who was staring intently at the body through glazed eyes and shallow breathing. Grabbing her shoulder, she forced the brunette to turn towards her and with a choked sob, Sara buried her head into Catherine's shoulder, her body violently shaking as her legs began to give way.

Both fell to the floor as Sara crumbled, clinging tightly to the older woman as she was overcome with hysterical, heartbreaking sobs, her fingers grasping Catherine's shirt tightly as she tried to draw in a ragged breath.

Unable to tear her eyes away from the bed, Catherine gently stroked Sara's hair, unable to find the right words to say to make the situation any better. What could she say? Nothing could erase the past, nothing could bring him back, nothing could possibly make a difference to the devastated woman in front of her.

As she tried to console the desolate Sara, Catherine's mind numbly wandered to the little girl sleeping on the floor in Lindsey's room. How were they going to tell Chrissy that she had now lost not only her baby sister, but her father as well? She could almost hear the child's voice asking if she could go home to her Mommy...how was she supposed to tell her no? How much more could one family take?

She tore her eyes away from the body as bile started to rise in her throat, and with a gentle whisper, she tried to pull Sara to her feet, stopping immediately as Sara's grasp tightened and the younger woman's sobs intensified. With one arm on Sara's back, the other on the floor, she whispered softly, "We need to get you out of here."

"Don't leave me. Please don't leave me." Sara murmured through her choking sobs, "Don't let go."

Catherine fought her own tears as she cradled the brunette in her arms, unsure of whether Sara was talking to her or to the ghosts of her past. Either way, she wasn't going to abandon Sara when she needed support the most.

Gently stroking Sara's hair, she responded soothingly, "I'm right here, we need to get outside, okay? Can you walk with me outside?"

Sara nodded numbly, barely able to convince her body to relax long enough for Catherine to pull both to their feet. Sara remained unwilling to remove her head from the safety of Catherine's chest and shoulder, her desperate sobs echoing through the small room. The blood rushed to her head as she came to rest on her feet, and with a soft moan, the world around her faded to black.

--

Nick shook his head angrily, slamming the folder down onto the table, "Have you seen this?"

"What?" Grissom asked, peering up at the fuming young man, "What is that?"

"A background check on the employees working at the preschool Sadie attended." Nick spat out, "I just got this back from P.D. Don't they have to screen these people before hiring them?"

"They're supposed to." Grissom replied, flipping open the folder and peering onto the summary page, "3 of the 5 primary care givers have a record?"

"Two of them are for battery and assault." Nick fumed, "We're trying to subpoena the preschool's records, and Brass is bringing them in for questioning--"

Nick was cut off by the shrill wail of Grissom's phone. With an impatient frown, he sighed and begin to tap his foot as Grissom checked the caller ID.

"It's Catherine, I have to get it." The older man said apologetically, flipping open his phone, "Grissom."

Nick's impatience turned to concern as Grissom's face visibly paled, and as the older man hung up, Nick hurriedly asked, "What's wrong?"

"Catherine and Sara's db...it was Greg." Grissom replied softly, his voice revealing the shock he was feeling. "I'm going to meet Catherine to work the scene, follow me there so you can bring Sara home."

--

"Sara, please let me in." Nick spoke gruffly against the locked bedroom door, "Please Sara. If you don't open it, I'm going to kick it down."

"Go away!" Sara sobbed loudly, barely lifting her head from her tear-soaked pillow, "If you don't leave, I'm going to call the cops!"

Nick sighed heavily, "I'm just worried about you, Sara."

Sara ignored him, burying her head into Greg's pillow and inhaling deeply. He hadn't slept in this bed for days, but it still smelled just like him. Drawing her knees to her chest, she painfully cried, her mind flashing back to the last words she had spoken to him.

"I wish you had died instead! Don't even bother to come back tonight, you aren't welcome!"

Pain clenched her heart as her cold words echoed through her tired mind. How could she have been so cruel to the man she loved so dearly? How could she not have seen that he was hurting just as badly as she was? Why did she have to push him away? She had been so cruel, so cold, when all he wanted to do was make sure she was going to be okay. At least, okay as either of them could be under the circumstances. Instead of accepting his concern and sharing in his grief, she had shut him out so tightly that he felt as if he was alone.

This wasn't Greg. Greg wouldn't commit suicide. Greg was too strong for that, too full of life. There had to be a mistake. It had to be staged...a trick of some kind. There was no way that her Greg would ever take his own life. It was one of the things he despised most in the world, the 'coward's way' to go. Her Greg would never do something so drastic. It couldn't be him, she had to be dreaming or hallucinating or...drunk. That was the only possible explanation for this development.

"Sara? Please open the door."

Sara lifted her head, ready to scream at the Texan once more, but after hearing the anxiety in his voice, she decided to go ahead and face him, she was going to have to sooner or later. After all, he was the one who had taken her from Catherine at the hotel and brought her home to break down in solace, instead of in front of half of the LVPD. It wasn't his fault that she had kicked Greg out, it wasn't his fault that she was so full of bitter and resentment that she didn't realize how close to the edge Greg had been.

She inhaled deeply, the unique mixture of aftershave and shampoo from Greg's pillow causing her body to tingle. She could almost feel him in their bedroom as she closed her eyes, and she began to wonder if maybe this whole thing was a big drunken hallucination. Greg's presence was too strong for him to be gone. Maybe he hadn't left at all? Maybe the last few days had been some sort of alcohol-induced nightmare. Maybe she'd open her eyes and find herself resting in the guest bedroom, or better yet, she'd open her eyes and find herself a week in the past, where she could find some excuse for the family to stay home instead of going to the water park. If she could do that, this terrible chain of events would be stopped and she'd still have her warm, loving family.

Smiling softly, she clung to the pillow. If she could just keep her eyes closed, Greg would come back. He'd tell her there was coffee brewing, and that the kids would be up soon. He would whisper that when they went down for a nap, they could light some candles and enjoy a late romantic lunch. He would run his fingers through her hair, telling her how beautiful she was, how lucky he was to have her. And she'd finally get to look up into his deep, caring, loving eyes once more and vow to never fight with him again. If only she could keep her eyes closed, he would live on. This would be a horrific nightmare.

"Sara? Come on, you're really starting to worry me." Nick pleaded, "Please open the door."

As if someone had flipped a switch, the vision of Greg disappeared. This nightmare was a reality. He was really gone. Sadie was really gone. Chrissy was living with another family because the LVPD and social services were too backlogged to give her case prompt attention. She was left completely alone, in a home that was just too big for one person. Pictures of her family were plastered over every wall, as if a taunting reminder of what she had lost, and how truly alone she was.

She was no stranger to loss. She had lost a father, then a mother. She had moved from family to family, afraid and unable to establish roots. She had been terrified to settle down with Greg, but he had convinced her that he'd never leave her, that he was in for the long haul. All she had to do was love him in return. She hadn't stood up to her word, and he had then broken his in retaliation. It didn't surprise her, it was only a matter of time before something bad happened. They had managed 8 years of happiness and peace before the bottom fell out, as she had known it would. She wasn't allowed to be happy, it was the curse of the Sidle name. Every relationship ended with destruction, every offspring had their vice. Even though estranged from her father's family, it was impossible to escape the genes that made her who she was. It wasn't that she intentionally went to ruin all good things in her life, it was just a byproduct of who she was. Once again, her family was gone and she was left alone to weep for what could have been, what should have been, what would have been if she hadn't made the wrong decisions so many times.

"Sara, please just talk to me." Nick drawled from the doorway, "I need to know you're alright. Please, Sara, don't shut me out."

"Please, just go away." Sara spoke wearily, "I just...can't."

"Let me be here for you." Nick pleaded, "You don't have to be alone...you shouldn't be alone."

"I'm always alone!" Sara screamed, tossing her safety net, the half finished bottle of Everclear from the previous night, at the doorway, watching it break into tiny shards, embedding themselves in the carpet, soaked with the vile clear liquid.

"You aren't alone." Nick replied, desperation outweighing the soothing tone he was trying to imply, "Please Sara, open the door and talk to me. You're scaring me. We don't even have to talk, just let me be with you."

"I'm fine, Nicky, please go away." Sara returned, moving to the doorway as she began to pick up the shards of glass and toss them into the nearby trash can, "I'll call you later."

Nick sighed, and she could almost picture him rubbing his forehead to ward off the impending tension headache. She sadly shook her head, dumping a handful of tiny bits of the broken bottle into the trash. She couldn't let Nick in, she couldn't let him get too close. Greg had gotten too close, and she had drove him to suicide. It was easier to push people away and know they were alive than to let them in and watch them die.

"I wish you had died instead! Don't even bother to come back tonight, you aren't welcome!"

How could she have been so cruel to him? So hateful? She had practically forced the pills down his throat with her cold, bitter words. What kind of wife was she? What kind of friend? Mother? As a child, her mother had ruined her family. As an adult, there was no one to blame but herself. She may not have stabbed her own husband to death, but she had pierced him just as strongly with her venomous words. Greg had been a good person, a hundred times more caring, compassionate, fun than Sara had ever dreamed of being, and in a short few days, she had managed to destroy him. What kind of wife does that to her husband? Her best friend? The one person who had taken the time to try and break through her shell? The one person in her entire life who had loved her, faults and all.

"Sara, please let me in." Nick begged, "Please."

She could hear the tears in her friend's voice, but she found herself unable to reach up and push open the lock. Her body was on autopilot, and she found herself barely aware of her actions as the world seemed to crumble around her. She couldn't love her husband. She couldn't protect her kids. She couldn't save herself. She couldn't let him in. She couldn't let anyone else get hurt because of her.

She felt burning pain rise up her arm, and with haunted eyes she looked down at her blood soaked clothes. What had she done? Where was this blood coming from? Numb and weak, she realized that she was bleeding. Heavily. She needed help, and fast..

"Nick?" She called out, weak and uncertain, "Are you still there?"

"What's going on?" Nick asked worriedly, noticing the drastic change in her tone, "Sara, let me in, now."

"Nicky..." Sara whimpered, "Nicky, help me."

Her mind grew fuzzy as the door burst open beside her, and although she could see Nick's lips moving, she couldn't make out the words he was speaking. The terror in his eyes matched the own fear in her heart, and as he pried a shard of glass from her hand, she finally realized what she had done.

"Chrissy...tell Chrissy I'm sorry. That I love her. Watch out for her." Sara mumbled incoherently, "She's better off with Catherine, Cath can protect her."

The room dimmed slightly, and although she couldn't make out the words Nick were speaking, she could clearly see the tears staining his cheeks. She frowned, trying to tell him to stop crying, but she couldn't get her mouth to cooperate with her racing brain.

The room slowly started to fade to black, and as she let her eyes close, only images of her broken family shone through the darkness.

The End.