AUTHOR: Goddess Isa
EMAIL: [email protected]
SUMMARY: Willow and Xander issues, in Xand's POV
SPOILER: Slight S4
DISTRIBUTION: Sandee, of course - My site - http://planetslaythis.homestead.com - Crystal and Butterfly if they want it - A Soul's Redemption - Anyone else - sure, just email me & lmk where it's going - I like seeing my name in print =)
FEEDBACK: Please, I'd hate to have to Slay for it. =P
RATING: TV-PG
DISCLAIMER: Characters unjustly belong to Joss. He's *so* cruel to both of them. The song belongs to Dave Matthews Band. It's overused on TV but sooo kick ass that no one really cares.
DEDICATION: To Daisy, because it's a response to her challenge. Happy Belated Birthday!!!
//You've got your ball
You've got your chain
Tied to me tight tie me up again
Who's got their claws
In you my friend
Into your heart I'll beat again\\
Willow's got this beautiful way about her. If I could put it into words, I think I would just keep repeating that same one thing.
Beautiful.
She's by herself now, swirling her straw in her lemonade, but in my mind, she's dancing.
With me.
//Sweet like candy to my soul
Sweet you rock
And sweet you roll
Lost for you I'm so lost for you
You come crash into me
And I come into you
I come into you
In a boys dream
In a boys dream\\
Anya's here now, dancing with me as the band plays on. I hear Dave singing his song and feel like he's singing just to Willow and I, like the rest of the crowd and Anya aren't really here. It's almost like being here with her is a bad dream, and if I can just wake up, I'll be with Willow, where I belong.
//Touch your lips just so I know
In your eyes, love, it glows so
I'm bare boned and crazy for you
When you come crash
Into me, baby
And I come into you
In a boys dream
In a boys dream\\
She's walking over to us now, and my breath is held, waiting unconsciously for her to come to me, take my hand, dance with me.
Instead, she pulls Anya aside and pies her, just like they used to do on the Mickey Mouse Club when Will and I were kids.
"Wake up!" Anya hits me. "God, where were you? You weren't daydreaming about Dave, were you? 'Cause I can't handle dating a homosexual."
"That's the problem," I say, my eyes wandering back to Willow. "I'm gay."
//If I've gone overboard
Then I'm begging you
To forgive me
In my haste\\
I'm alone now, a nice welt developing below my right eye but the pain is the good kind. Willow sees me coming and she focuses on her drink, trying to ignore me.
"Hey," I sit with her. "Something wrong?"
She nods. "A lot of things, but the most important one is.........God, I'm sorry Xander."
"For?"
"You know what for." she makes a face. "For being so horrible to you lately. For trying to kill Anya with that paralyzing spell."
"What?" I ask, not understanding that part.
"Never mind," she says quickly. "I just...........I'm sorry."
She should be, and I know it, but I don't say anything. For all the times she was terrible to Cordelia, for all the things she said to Anya's face, she wasn't justified. She never knew how hard it was for me to watch her with Oz, see them together, basking in the afterglow of school sex, and not punch the guy's lights out.
"Xander?" she asks quietly. "Can you ever forgive me?"
"Of course," I say, because I already have. I know better than to throw love away. After losing Willow once, I refuse to ever lose her again.
//When I'm holding you girl so close to me
Oh and you come crash
Into me, baby
And I come into you
Hike up your skirt a little more
And show the world to me
Hike up your skirt a little more
And show your world to me
In a boys dream
In a boys dream\\
"Will you dance with me?" I ask her, the anger I momentarily felt melting away. She nods and we move back to the spot where Anya and I once stood. She lays her head on my shoulder and I'm taken back to that night in her bedroom, getting ready for Homecoming. Suddenly, I'm falling in love with her all over again.
//Oh I watch you there
Through the window
And I stare at you
You wear nothing but you
Wear it so well
Tied up and twisted
The way I'd like to be
For you, for me, come crash
Into me\\
We pull away and our eyes meet. In the midst of the people applauding madly and screaming for the band to perform another song, I pull her to me and I kiss her. It's sweet and perfect and I never want it to end.
When it does, the band is doing an encore and she smiles at me. "Is this our song now?"
"Better than our last," I admit.
She nods. "You know we have a long way to go, before..."
"I know." I let her lean on my shoulder and I smooth her hair down, loving the way the silky strands feel through my fingers.
"But we'll work it out?" she asks my chest in a small voice.
"Of course," I whisper.
"Why?" she mumbles.
"Because we have to."