A/N: I do not deserve such wonderful reviews. Thank you, all of you! It has been too long in between chapters for individual responses to make any kind of sense, but I promise I will respond to you reviews indiviually starting again next chapter.

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. Especially not the newest addition of baby!Potter who, unbeknownst to him, will one day grow up to be a very angsty young man with a tragic scar and many best selling novels written about his adventures.

Warning: Copious amounts of schmoop followed directly by copious amounts of angst. Six chapters in and still slash.

Rating: T – for mature theme, drinking, etc.

So at this point I don't know if anyone even REMEMBERS this story considering it has been almost a YEAR since the last chapter was posted. Personally, I hate when fanfic authors abandon a work-in-progress and I am just SO SORRY because I never intended to leave you guys hanging like that.

This story will be finished soon, there are only two more chapters after this one. I really never intended to go this long without updating, but I could never just abandon a story. I promise.

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Chapter Six: Uncertainty

"It's a boy!" James shouted, bursting out of the waiting room. His normally unruly hair was even more mussed than usual and his robes looked as though he'd slept in them the night before, but the smile on his face was the biggest that Sirius had ever seen. He actually swayed a bit on the spot as though he might pass out, though from fatigue or happiness it was hard to tell.

"Congratulations!" Remus said, he and Sirius both having risen from the hard-backed hospital chairs upon James' arrival. Sirius gripped James' elbow in a congratulatory gesture that also served to steady his friend.

"Oh God, he didn't inherit your hair, did he?" Sirius asked, mock concerned, but his smile gave away his true excitement.

"He did," James answered back solemnly, "but he's also got Lily's eyes and her smile and her adorable toes…"

"But Lily's adorable toes, aside," Remus interrupted impatiently, "do we have a name yet?"

"Harry James Potter," James informed them grandly.

At that moment, the door to the delivery room opened and a young healer exited holding a tiny little bundle in her arms. She started a bit at the small crowd gathered by the door, but then she recognized James and smiled, offering him the squirming bundle she carried. James took the baby from her reverently, careful not to jostle him too much.

He slowly repositioned the baby so that Remus and Sirius could get a better look. Sirius crouched down near James' shoulder and watched as his godson blinked up at him for the first time.

"He's perfect," he breathed, his voice filled with awe.

"Yeah," James agreed, tucking the blanket in a just bit tighter, "Yeah, he is."

& & &

The months following Harry's birth were a blur to Remus. He had been thoroughly unsuccessful in finding a job in the time since his rescue from the death eaters, so he had taken to working full time for the Order, mostly in underground recruitment. Sirius had his hands full at the ministry and with Dumbledore sending Remus off on assignments for sometimes weeks at a time, the couple found themselves going days without speaking to each other at all.

It made Remus uneasy to feel so disconnected from Sirius, but he couldn't be content to just sit at home twiddling his thumbs while his friends risked their lives day in and day out. At least in his work for the Order, Remus felt like he was doing something. Plus, he had found that the busier he kept himself, the less time he had to worry about what Sirius was doing and whether or not he was okay.

His friendship with Lily, however, had somehow managed to become stronger than ever. Remus spent nearly all of his free moments over at Lily and James' flat, giving Lily the latest news and playing with baby Harry.

One such day, Remus arrived at the flat only to find an extremely distraught Lily.

"What's wrong?" Remus demanded, immediately fearing another death of someone they knew. It was beginning to be an alarmingly regular occurrence

"I don't know!" Lily exclaimed in frustration. As she talked, she paced around her small kitchen, glancing surreptitiously at the clock every few moments as if she could will it to show her what she wanted to see.

"Calm down," Remus replied gently, placing his hands on her shoulders to halt her anxious movement. "Tell me what happened."

"Dumbledore showed up early this morning, looking grim," she told him. "He said that he needed to talk to us about something."

"About what?" Remus asked.

"I don't know," Lily repeated, shaking her head slightly. "He refused to talk about it here at the flat and I couldn't leave the baby, so he whisked James off somewhere to discuss whatever it was that he came to talk about. I was expecting them back hours ago."

"Do you have any idea where they went?" Remus pressed, growing slightly concerned himself.

"Hogwarts, I'd imagine," Lily answered. "But who knows for sure. I just want James to get home so someone can tell me what the bloody hell is going on!"

"I'm sure everything's fine," Remus assured her, but he could hear the uncertainty in his own voice.

Lily glanced up at the clock again, but said nothing. Remus sighed, and made to put on the kettle. Together, they waited.

& & &

"So they didn't tell you what he had said?" Sirius asked incredulously.

It was one of those rare moments when both he and Remus had managed to be at the flat at the same time. Neither of them had work until the morning either, so they were actually taking the time to make dinner together the muggle way, catching each other up on the week's big news.

Sirius' elbow accidentally bumped Remus' hip as he chopped the celery and Remus couldn't help thinking that it almost felt like it used to. It almost felt normal.

"Well, he had his reasons, I'm sure," he replied uncertainly, still not sure what to make of James' abrupt arrival and his own equally abrupt dismissal.

"Like what?" Sirius demanded.

"Well, it was Dumbledore, wasn't it?" Remus answered, trying to sound reasonable. "Maybe it was Order business that couldn't be discussed with anyone else."

"I suppose," Sirius admitted grudgingly. "But we're all on the same side, aren't we? All this keeping secrets business feels too Slytherin for my taste."

Remus' brow furrowed in thought, but he continued to stir the pot in silence. Sirius scowled and chopped the rest of the celery with a bit more fervor than necessary.

& & &

James murmured his thanks as Lily set the cup of tea in front of him at the table. He knew that he was scaring her with his silence, but he honestly had no idea where to begin with what Dumbledore had just told him. He had barely started to process what it meant himself.

"James," Lily began hesitantly.

"Dumbledore is worried," he interrupted, softly.

He looked up into his wife's deep green eyes, filled with concern, and he thought of the matching set that belonged to his nine-month old son, asleep in the next room. He suddenly felt like he might throw up.

"We're all worried," Lily responded lightly, when it became clear James wasn't prepared to continue the story.

James took a deep breath.

"Dumbledore is worried about us," he clarified. "He's worried about Harry."

"Harry!" Lily exclaimed, her hand flying to her heart. "What has Harry got to do with anything?"

"Everything, apparently," James answered, running his hand through his hair in an agitated manner. "Dumbledore told me a lot without really telling me anything, as usual. He said that he has reason to believe that we might be targets because of Harry. He'd called in Frank Longbottom as well."

"Frank?" Lily repeated in confusion.

"He and Alice's son was born around the same time as Harry wasn't he?" James reminded her. "I think that had something to do with it, but Dumbledore was very vague, like I said."

Lily took a moment to digest this information, trying to decide what to do with it.

"So, what does Dumbledore want us to do, exactly?" She settled for asking.

"Extra precaution, mostly," James replied heavily, "extra charms around the house, being more careful who we talk to, maybe moving to a new location…you know, more secure."

"He wants us to live like fugitives?" Lily asked, the question coming out a bit more bitterly than she had intended.

"He wants us to be safe," James said quietly.

Lily sighed.

"I know, I just…" She trailed off, shrugging her shoulders.

James nodded. He knew all to well.

They sat like that for awhile, staring at the table in front of them, both lost in their own thoughts. Lily almost wanted to cry at the thought of moving out of the flat that she had finally started to feel at home in. Then she felt slightly ridiculous that she was letting it affect her so much. James, meanwhile, was wondering if he had the heart to tell her the rest.

"There's something else," he said finally.

Lily's heart leapt in her chest.

"What?" She asked, her voice a bit shaky.

"Dumbledore thinks that someone in the Order has been turned," James told her.

Lily blinked up at him in surprise.

"No," she said, shaking her head slightly, "that's not possible."

"I know," James said softly, "I didn't want to believe it either, but when you look at the facts…the death eaters keep managing to stay one step ahead of us. Someone has to be telling them something."

"But someone in the Order," Lily murmured, disbelieving, "I mean, those people are our friends, our family!"

She paused for a moment, seemingly trying to collect herself.

"If the enemy is everywhere, who do you trust?" She asked finally, her voice coming out small and defeated.

"We trust each other," James answered quickly, taking his wife's hand in his. "We keep our heads down and we keep our son safe."

He pulled Lily closer to him and she buried her face in his shoulder.

"It's okay," he whispered into her hair, "it's going to be okay."

But as they sat like that in the kitchen their small flat, James couldn't help remembering the vow he made Lily on their wedding day. He wondered vaguely if this was what it looked like – when the world came crashing down around you.

& & &

Sirius leaned back in his chair, taking a moment to process everything that he had just heard. He was having a hard time wrapping his mind around the concept.

"So Dumbledore thinks there's a spy?" He repeated, warily.

"It's fits, doesn't it?" James shot back. "First the McKinnon's and now Caradoc's disappearance…"

"Still…" Sirius cut in, pausing to take another drink, "that doesn't necessarily prove anything. There's not a single person in the Order who could betray us like that. It just doesn't seem possible."

James said nothing, instead finishing his drink in one long pull. He nodded to the barmaid as she passed the table, signaling for another.

"What?" Sirius asked suspiciously. "Does Dumbledore think he knows who it is, as well? Did he give you a name?"

James shook his head, looking slightly uncomfortable. It had been nearly three months since he had sat in Dumbledore's office and heard the news himself and he had a good reason for waiting so long to share the news with Sirius. He knew that his best mate was not going to like what he had to say.

"But you've got your own ideas, then," Sirius concluded.

He took a closer look at his best friend, noticing for the first time the lines that had begun to develop on James' young face. He could see the toll that Dumbledore's news had had on his friend, but it was hard not to be frustrated by all the secrecy.

Finally, James shook his head and looked back up at Sirius.

"I just think we need to be careful who we trust," he said, choosing his words carefully.

"Well, obviously," Sirius replied, "in times like these, we all have to be careful…"

"But I mean…more careful," James cut in, "especially around…" he trailed off, looking uncertain.

"Around who?" Sirius demanded, finally losing his temper with James' cryptic warnings. "What is with all this secrecy with me, James? We're supposed to be best mates! Unless, of course, you think that I'm the spy…"

"Of course not!" James cut in, looking wounded at the mere suggestion of such disloyalty.

"Then what…" Sirius' retort ended mid-thought, as the truth finally dawned on him.

"You think it's Moony," he whispered. It wasn't a question.

James at least had the grace to look slightly guilty.

"I'm not saying that," he argued, his voice equally soft, "but he was with the death eaters for a long time Sirius…"

"I can't believe I'm hearing this," Sirius burst out angrily, "and from you! You were there, you saw how he was when we rescued him!"

"I'm not saying he went willingly," James shot back, "but maybe it was the only way out that he could see. Maybe the torture was too much for him to take…"

"The Cruciatus curse is too much for anyone to take," Sirius replied coldly, "but you know as well as I do that Remus would never turn, no matter what they did. He would die first."

"You're too close to this," James said, trying to keep his voice even. "Just look at the facts: he was with the death eaters for three weeks, he's been disappearing for weeks at a time…"

"On Dumbledore's orders!" Sirius interjected.

"So he claims," James countered, "but Dumbledore doesn't really keep us all updated on what the other Order members are up to, does he? All we have is Remus' word."

"Yeah, and that used to mean something to you," Sirius muttered.

James sighed.

"Look, I know nothing I say is going to convince you. Hell, I'm not even convinced myself," he added, as an afterthought.

Sirius forced himself to look directly into his friend's pleading eyes.

"Just be careful, okay?" James begged.

Sirius shook his head and drained his firewhiskey. For the first time in his life, he couldn't think of a single thing that he wanted to say to his best friend.

When he left the bar he didn't look back.

& & &

The room was unnaturally cold, he thought, pulling his robes a bit tighter around himself. It seemed they had been there for hours. All he wanted to do was to go home and crawl into bed. Or perhaps grab a warm butterbeer from Madam Rosmerta first and then go home and sleep. Possibly for a week.

The figure in front of him continued to pace in silence, making him more uneasy by the minute.

"My Lord?" he finally ventured uncertainly.

Voldemort spun around, granting him his full attention. He realized belatedly that this was much worse then the pacing.

"I need something from you," Voldemort commanded softly.

"Y-yes, My Lord," he stammered immediately, but then the warm butterbeer floated across his vision and he couldn't help adding, "but I've just brought you Dearborn…"

Voldemort's eyes flashed dark red, immediately cutting him off.

"Whatever you need," he amended quickly.

"Whatever I need," Voldemort repeated slowly, pensively.

He had resumed pacing. After a moment he turned back to the cowering man before him.

"What I need," he said slowly, "is the Potters. I want you to find them for me."

The room suddenly felt ten times colder than it had before. He swallowed thickly, trying to remember how to form words. Lily and James, his mind informed him unnecessarily, he wants you to help him kill Lily and James.

"Yes, My Lord," he heard himself say, before bowing deeply and finally taking his leave of the cold, oppressive room.

But even outside in the warm summer air, he couldn't shake the coldness of that room. He remembered James teaching him how to fly a broom and how Lily had never told anyone when she caught him cheating on that Arithmancy exam. He saw Lily's smile the last time he had spoken to her and the look of awe on James' face whenever he talked about his young son.

He shook himself out of such thoughts and forced himself to apparate home. He had already chosen his side. There was no going back now.

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I know I don't even remotely deserve it, but reviews would be lovely.

Next chapter… Dumbledore comes up with a plan and Sirius doesn't know what to believe.