REWRITE

I have decided to rewrite some choice sections of Drowning In Life. Because looking back on some of the passages, is making me physically ill. The storyline won't change too dramatically. But it would be best if you reread it. Don't feel like you have to review again. But it'd be great to have some feedback on the new stuff. Now that school has begun, I feel the need to procrastinate more. And what better way to procrastinate than write? So you'll be seeing a lot of work done to Drowning In Life. And watch out for Simmering Flame. My version of Jacob's PoV of New Moon. Hope you enjoy.

-Freesia

Oh and I don't own Twilight. I just like to make up theories and write them down. So don't sue. Just read.

I felt empty. Void of all emotion. It was as if someone had come and sucked the life out of my soul.

I had no idea what to do. All I could do is sit there and let myself go numb. This was the only way I could keep that awful ache away.

If only I could hear his reassuring voice once more or maybe conjure up his flawless face in my mind. But I couldn't because if I did, I didn't know if I would be able to live through the agony that would surely engulf my body and mind. It's like we were bound together by a rope, he was literally tugging on my heartstrings.

I just couldn't understand how he could leave. He thought that by doing this he was committing some noble act. But he was wrong instead of protecting me he was destroying me. He was my foundation, my foothold, my anchor to the world. Without him I was left drifting. Drifting into open sea. Where I knew there was a strong chance I could drown.

It was as if the farther distance he put between us, the more of myself I was beginning to lose. He was taking my happiness with him, he was taking my heartbeat, he was taking me. But what hurt the most was that he was taking my most precious thing, himself.

All that was left was this lifeless body that didn't know how it was still functioning when so much had been away.

I leaned up against the tree and let the salty tears trickle down my cheeks.

I hated knowing that he was that big of a part of my identity. That he wielded the power to make me feel this way. It wasn't right. No one should be able to inflict this kind of pain on someone else. It was inhuman.

Just like him.

Had his years of solitude before me made him insensitive? Or was it merely just that the coldness of his skin had froze his own heart? He'd said, that we were different, which of course I could not deny. He'd also said that I couldn't possibly understand love, and that what we had wasn't it. If this were honestly true, I wanted no part of love. The pain I was feeling now, was enough to last me my life. I couldn't imagine real love feeling anymore real than this.

I was broken out of my bitter thoughts by a snap of a twig. I allowed my eyes to scan over the wide meadow. Nothing. And then I heard another snap. Once more my eyes wandered restlessly. My emotional state was probably making me paranoid I thought depressingly..

I pulled my knees to my chest and laid my head down. My eyelids closed involuntarily, and I slipped off into a daze. The world seemed too harsh to expose myself to. What was left out there? The thought sickened me.

I had just slipped into the stage where everything seemed to be getting farther and farther away, and I could almost pretend that the horrible circumstances I was in did not exist.

I felt the wind whip my hair across my face, my tears making choice strands stick upon my cheeks. Even though I was barely conscious, the tears still ran down my face at an alarming speed.

If only someone was here to wipe away the tears, if only I could feel the touch of those slender chilling fingers on my skin. My imagination must be particularly active when I breakdown, because I could swear I felt something trailing along my cheek.

Automatically my hand flew to my cheek, and rubbed against something very… cold. My eyes popped open, all trace of slumber gone. There dangling in front of my face was a fiery red lock of hair gone astray.

I turned my head up to the crimson eyes staring back at me. Her mouth twisted into a sick smile when my gaze met hers. "Hello," she sneered, "long time, no see."

I didn't have a chance to reply to her greeting because in an instant I was thrown back against a tree, her hand holding me up, by my throat.

I could feel the thin column that was my neck, tightening under her powerful hands. My lungs were in panic, desperately screaming for air. She watched me closely, her face betraying no emotion. As soon as I felt that I had maybe let out my last gasp, she dropped me unceremoniously to the ground, and gingerly placed her foot to my chest to prevent movement.

My lungs soaked up all the oxygen around me, gulping and gulping, that I felt I might choke.

She laughed at my struggle, a cold harsh clanging sound. Like nails on a chalkboard. "Did you honestly think I would let you off that easily? By letting you die?" She asked.

Actually, I had. What else could she possibly have in store for me? I speculated this, as her head got closer and closer to my own. As she got closer, the horrifying truth became clear. She did want to kill me, that was correct, she just never wanted me to forget it.

I felt her cool breath on my neck, for a moment her mouth hovered there, simply breathing in and out. And then it happened, just when I thought the anticipation would send my heart into palpitations I felt the searing twinge of two sharp points passing through the surface of my skin, and deep into my veins.

Her teeth slashed out of my veins brutally, and I felt my cheeks dampen with tears. Not of sorrow, or pain, but both. I looked up, dazed into the eyes of Victoria. Her own were crazy with hunger, yet she stood her ground merely watching me. She backed away from me slowly, her eyes never leaving mine, she was undeniably on the edge of an insane bloodlust.

I shuddered as I began to feel the first flame ignite within me. My arms curled around myself, and I began to shake violently. I could feel the venom seeping through my flesh. Slowly it crept, nothing could rush it.

By this time, I was sure Victoria had left. There was nothing left in this clearing save for an agonized body. My body.

Even through the immense torture, the extreme irony of my situation did not fail to escape me. The exact thing Edward thought he was avoiding by leaving was happening. There was no stopping this. I didn't know what I would be or what I would do when I emerged from this fiery hell. And the thought terrified me.

Author's Note- So as you can see, this chapter has a bit more to it. I decided to elaborate a tad more on Bella's attack and transformation. Because chicas let's face it, last time I practically skimmed over it! So review if you have something to say. Good or bad, I will appreciate it either way.