+aMoNg ThE mAd+

'Well! I've often seen a cat without a grin; but a grin without a cat! It's the most curious thing I ever saw in my life!' Alice In Wonderland, Lewis Carroll

+ Seras Victoria had closed herself off in her room for the 'day', and if she had turned in a little earlier than usual, she put it down to simply having naught else to do.

Except that was a load of utter rubbish, she mentally sighed as she sat at her dark, plain wooden vanity, elbows on the tabletop, chin resting on her gloved hands as she stared mournfully into the mirror.

She was deperately trying not to notice the saddened look in her fierce crimson eyes, those eyes that even now, after a year of being with the Hellsing Organization, still looked odd in her small, elfin-featured face. She had the feeling they always would.

The truth of it was, she had come to her quarters early because she couldn't stand the thought of her Master watching her pout over him anymore. He hadn't said anything about it, but then he didn't have to. Why would he, then? He could read her ruddy thoughts whenever he'd a mind to.

Her continued sense of sheer boredom in her free-hours, however, had her braving the wrath of her Master's master by the following midnight.

Sir Integra kept as odd hours as the vampires in her employ, so Seras felt fairly confident knocking on the door to her private study.

"Enter."

Seras opened the door and poked her head inside with an apologetic little bow, and a stiff salute. "Sir."

"What is it, Victoria?"

"Sir, have you seen my Master?"

Sir Integra actually blinked and looked at her in disbelief over the pile of papers on her desk.

"You are 'looking' for Alucard?"

Seras drew back a little, her open expression turning a little uncertain. "Erm...yes?"

Integra arched a brow. "Why?"

Seras lowered her eyes to the carpet as she fought not to squirm.

Why, indeed?

Cor, but he was a cold bastard, her Master. He had a grin like a rabid dog - or a jackal, rather.

Seras didn't worry about her Master overhearing her thoughts - only he would take delight in being compared to a homicidal animal. He would be more amused than offended. It was fitting though, wasn't it...?

Integra was giving her an icy blue stare, clearly awaiting her answer.

Seras shifted uncomfortably. What could she say?

"Master is...well...interesting."

"I suspect you mean insane."

"Sir?"

"Really, I do not understand your need to spend any more time than you must with Alucard."

"B-but you spend time with him," Seras stuttered slightly.

"Yes, but I know how to handle him." The frosty blond gave her a hard look over the tops of her spectacles. "There are reasons why his power levels are restricted, Victoria. Several thousand of them. He is a murdering, sadistic monster. You are aware that he is completely mad."

Seras's eyes widened. She reckoned it was obvious, the fact that her master was mad, but she had reason to doubt. It wasn't often, but she had seen the sharp cognizance in her master's eyes, hear it in his voice. He couldn't be completely mad, could he?

"Sadistic, Master?" A low, familiar voice floated through the walls of Sir Integra's study, though the vampire didn't choose to make an appearance. "You wound me."

Seras shook her head. He wasn't angry at being called mad, or a monster, but he objected to being called sadistic?

"What is it, now, Alucard? I don't have anything for you tonight," Integra said impatiently, not at all perturbed to be speaking to someone who wasn't there. She was obviously used to her vampires little games.

"Nothing, Master? Not one order? This disappoints me. It is a beautiful night. I shall have to find some other means of...amusing myself."

Seras wasn't fooled by her master's genial tone. She knew all to well he was capable of a ferocious anger.

She wondered if that was the reason Sir Integra - though she had been infuriated at the near downfall of her family's organization - had not once ever vocally blamed Alucard for it. Was Sir Integra maybe just a little bit frightened of him, too?

"Feeling at odds and ends, then, are you, Alucard? Happy coincidence for you, " Integra commented coldly, "your Renfield here has been asking after you."

Seras's cheeks burned. 'Renfield'? What the bloody hell did she mean by that?

Whatever it was, the reference made Alucard chuckle darkly, as his oppressive presence withdrew as quickly as it had arrived.

Seras sighed. He hadn't said a word to her, as usual...but at least she knew he was 'home' tonight. She had a good idea of where he would be, if she had the nerve to go there.

Executing a snappy salute, Seras made to leave. "I'll be going, Sir. Pardon me for disturbing you."

"Where are you going, Senior Officer Victoria?" Integra asked softly, her blue eyes knowing.

Taking a deep, steadying breath, Seras smiled tentatively at her, and lied her ass off. "Perhaps to the parapets, Sir." Her inferno-colored eyes sparkled with mischief. "It is a beautiful night, after all."

Integra made a disgusted noise. "Hmph. You are as mad as he is," she muttered as Seras closed the door behind her, hiding an evil grin.

"What are you doing here, Police Girl?"

His voice. Her master's. It sounded like impure, hellish darkness wrapped in velvet.

Seras was in the deepest passages of the Hellsing Organization's headquarters. Though there were lights strung overhead, they were old and many of them were burnt out. It was the first time she was truly thankful to be able to see in the dark so well. At least she had fair warning when she neared her master's 'cell' and discovered he was actually there this time. She could see the deep crimson of his coat, and the outline of his hat laying on the tabletop, giving the appearance of a puddle of blood...

"You're never here, yet when you are, you're always sitting in the same place. Why is that, Master?"

"Why? Do you often come here seeking my...'council', Police Girl?"

Seras shifted uncomfortably when he countered her question with one of his own. He had to know that she had been down here many times before, only to find an empty chair and table, and an equally empty glass.

"M-master...?"

"I was imprisoned in this place for twenty silent years. It's quiet, here. I've come to enjoy it. Even the hopelessly mad appreciate the quiet," the vampire murmured with a hint of a toothy grin. He lifted his head and his hellfire eyes came out of shadow, piercing her with their intensity. The light shed from the institutional bulbs overhead was very dim, but the dagger-like highlights in his eyes shone with an unnatural light coming from somewhere within.

So, he'd been reading her thoughts lately after all. Balls. Seras swallowed, turning her head away slightly. "Hm. Nothing about you is hopeless, Master. I think you like being mad. I think you revel in your madness," she muttered before she could think better of it.

"Perhaps." He didn't get angry, or even go to the other extreme and laugh. He only stared at her with a slow blink, and drawled through those big, sharp white teeth, "Or perhaps your master is not quite as mad as you accuse him of being."

Seras's eyesleapt to his, and just as quickly jumped away.

"Calm yourself. Your thoughts are as loud as the beat of your heart used to be." There was shift, a slide of fabric as he moved, and then -

"You wanted something?"

"Ah...just forget it. I dont' even know what I'm doing here, anyway. I'm sorry for disturbing you, Master."

"Shall I tell you why you sought me out, Police Girl?" Alucard raised his head from it's resting place on his gloved hand and slowly lifted said-hand to point an almost accusing finger at her. "You. Are. Lonely."

Seras gasped, looking at him with wide eyes as she tried to sputter out a denial. It wasn't often that she'd seen her master's eyes bare of the gaudy yellow sunglasses he favored, and every time she looked into them for longer than a second she was afraid of being pulled into their strange vibrance and getting burned alive - er, dead?

The wicked white grin on the vampire's narrow face grew even more predatory. "And what's more, you blame your master for it. You resent me for it."

"B-but I-I - "

"You resent me for making you like me. You regret it."

"No! I don't resent you, Master! But...yes, I am lonely, damn it!" Seras hissed, closing her eyes. "I...you never pay any attention to me unless it suits you!"

"You think that you wouldn't be lonely if I 'visited' you more often? Come, Police Girl," he purred, "we both know that while I am your Master, the mere thought of my presence makes you...nervous. You tremble, and fidgit even now. So why, I ask you, should I spend time with a creature so fickle in her emotions?"

Seras didn't answer. She was too embarrased. Yes, she was uncomfortable in ways, around her Master - but he wasn't voicing out loud the whole reason why, even though he had to know, and she wasn't sure if she was relieved he wasn't acknowledging her desire for him, or deeply hurt.

"You do resent my bond with my master," he suddenly commented. "You are jealous of it."

Seras only dropped her head lower. She was. He had been with Sir Integra ages longer than her. She felt so ashamed that he knew.

"Why did you make me, Master?" she asked quietly.

Alucard spread his hands in an elegantly grand gesture. "Why, because you asked me to, of course!"

Seras exploded. "The only reason you made me like you was because...be-because - "

"Because deep down I am a 'good man'? Because you are an innocent, and such an injustice as death could never befall one such as you? Because you needed saving, and there were no charming princes available?" he finished silkily, his animated lips twisting in garish amusement.

"Stop mocking me! It's because you wanted the power turning one like me would bring you, isn't it!" Seras snarled, face burning, and she pounded one fist into the palm of her other hand. "Don't think I haven't heard the rumors from the others! Oh, they just love talking about it, don't they, how you only made me because I was - I was...and it, well...makes you stronger to drink the blood of someone like that!"

Alucard did laugh at that. "Ah, the Virgin Sacrifice!" The dark sound rumbled loudly through the corridor, and made her shudder. It sounded like thunder.

"Power?" the vampire asked, finally moving from his 'relaxed' position to stand up before her.

Seras backed up a step, then two as he began walking toward her, his deliberately slow bootsteps echoing eerily in the narrow stone hall. The sinuous, almost sentient flow of his crimson greatcoat around him seemed to suck all of the light out of the space. His presence was overwhelming, filling the small corner of the sub-level, and spilling over into her being, making her quake - but oddly enough, not from fear.

"I have no need of any more 'power'," Alucard snapped with an ice-cold fury. "As you have been fortunate enough to live to see, I have more power than any other being that walks this wretched planet - but perhaps I have not demonstrated enough?"

Seras swallowed hard, aware that her accusation had been wild - and completely unfounded.

"I made you like me because you are possessed of an uncommonly strong will. Not many have your kind of courage in this day and age. I respected that. I made you vampire because you were going to die anyway, not because you were...untouched. I was giving you freedom...but your continued refusals to drink from me and gain it makes me wonder if I made the right decision."

The disdain in his dark voice hurt.

"Master..."

"Your exsistence is not without compensations to you, or hadn't you noticed? You are free to live forever, if you wish it, and will become only more powerful every year you become 'older'. You can do all the things you wanted to. You are invulnerable to disease, injury. But to survive, you must drink blood...to be truly free, you must drink my blood."

"Are you...tired of our bond, Master?" Seras asked hesitantly, fearing his response.

Alucard was silent for a long moment before he said, very quietly, "You expect too much from me."

Seras turned her face from him to hide her humiliation, and her tears.

His hand caught her chin, twisiting her face around so he could see it better.

She glanced at him, tearful, wounded, before tearing her eyes away.

"When you look at me that way..." he shook his head, his glowing eyes not quite disappearing beind the long fall of his inky, wild black hair. "You are still waiting for your white knight to come charging in on his mighty steed to save you from your dark fate, Police Girl," he continued unmercifully. "But I...am your fate."

What did he mean? That she would become as he was? Dark, insane? Did she even care anymore?

"Master...I..."

"Will you run away, now? Will you go back to your dark chamber and hide under your blankets, consumed with regret and despair, and ask your god if you did the right thing in allowing me to make you a vampire?" he asked jeeringly, his grip tightening, his breath cold on her skin.

Seras took a deep, shuddering breath and closed her eyes against his. She jerked her chin free of his grip and turned her back on him. For the first time in her life she was in love - if vampires could even truly love, that is - and it was with a creature who most assuredly didn't believe in such an emotion. He frightened her sometimes, excited her...and now he had broken her heart.

She had seen his concern for Sir Integra, his master. While she knew it wasn't love, would she, herself, ever inspire such warmth from him?

"No. I won't do that. And do you want to know why!" She looked over her shoulder at him with a determined glare. "Because I don't regret it! I don't regret becoming a vampire, and I don't regret ever meeting you! The only thing I - I hate is having to drink the blood of humans, no matter how it's obtained!"

Alucard stared at her for a moment, and then a slow, disturbing smile crept it's way across his lean, narrow face. "You'll get over it. You'll have to. There is neither a compromise, nor solution when it comes to feeding. You'll drink or you'll die."

"Yes, Master. But...it will take time." She was relieved that he understood. Or, at least she hoped he did.

Her triumphant grin, paired with her fierce eyes and fangs made her look faintly maniacal - a fact that was, surprisingly, not lost on Alucard, who was frowning.

"Do stop smiling that way, it makes you look positively...psychotic."

Seras was dumbstruck. Who was he to tell her she looked psycho?

"My Master, until very recently, has still been...unwell."

Seras's gaze shot up to his. She was surprised - this was the first she'd heard that Sir Integra was still unrecovered from her ordeal with the Freak vampires some months before.

"Master?"

But he waved her concern off, looking as if he was angry with himself for even mentioning it.

Was that why he hadn't spoken to her in so long?

Seras sighed. "Guess I'll be going, then. Maybe I'll go practice my aim - "

"Perhaps I shall join you."

She looked at him in surprise.

"Go on, stop teasing me. Why do you bother with the guns then, anyway, Master? You and I both know you could have very well torn even the likes of Incognito to shreds without them."

"I know, but I do so like the feel of them," Alucard purred. "The noise, the violence - the blood! They also serve to throw one's opponents off balance. Incognito thought that I could do little damage once he destroyed my Jackal - but he soon discovered that wasn't the case, did he not?" Alucard's voice trailed off into a low laugh that slowly rose in volume and pitch until it bordered on hysteria, and Seras put her hands to her ears and ordered him to stop - which she was shocked to find that he did.

Numb with disbelief that she had dared to give her Master a command - and moreover, that he had obeyed - Seras slowly dropped her hands from her ears and glanced at her Master with a wince.

She was jolted to find that he'd disappeared - again.

Seras looked around, finding nothing but the customary chair and table at the darkest end of the corridor, and her shoulders sagged in relief...until a low, evil chuckle rumbled through the small space.

"Go to your bed, Police Girl."

Seras closed her eyes and sighed as the cultured-yet-rough tones caressed her spine. Her Master's voice was a weapon he could use like any other - it could soothe, draw blood, even kill, she was certain. When he used it like this - and it wasn't often - she was always left with a yearning for something...undefinable...

"Serassss..."

"Yes, Master?" she whispered, half-afraid the spell would end. It was different this time, more...compelling...

The voice laughed softly, raising goosebumps all along her skin. She felt it as she would fingertips dancing over her sensitive flesh...and she cursed as a wet, burning heat surfaced at the juncture of her thighs.

"Bloody hell," she whimpered, knowing it was a feeling that would not be going away easily, nor anytime soon.

Her Master laughed again. "I would tell you to have a good rest, but we both know that won't happen, now, don't we?" he chuckled somewhere near her ear, and finally his presence withdrew with a last snap of invisible fangs disturbingly close to the flesh of her neck, and it left the scar he'd given her so long ago tingling intolerably.

It was a long moment before she could gather herself sufficiently enough to make her way to her chamber.

Her knees were still weak when she at last closed the door and locked it, and slid down it against her back to land with a jarring thud on her bum, on the floor. She threw her head back against the door with unessecasry force and bared her fangs as she grit her teeth against the unbelievable sensations roaring through her body.

"Unh...bloody hell," she said again, voice wavering, wondering what the hell was wrong with her. Her Master had done this, that much was certain, but what exactly had he done? What was this he was making her feel, making her want to do...?

"It's called fucking, my dear, innocent little virgin sacrifice," Alucard suddenly whispered in her ear, and Sears instantly sat upright, face white with shock as she jerked her head round to look for him, but her Master wasn't there.

"Master!" she gasped, and as if on cue, the vampire materialized before her, glowing carnelian eyes appearing first, coming together in dark tendrils of air. Once whole, he looked down on her, and tilted his head to continue gazing as if he'd discovered some - other - rare, legendary creature.

"Oh, have I offended you?" he finally asked on a near cackle, looking violently amused.

"Oi, I'm not that innocent!" Seras exclaimed, panting. "I grew up with my dad, then, didn't I? I was the only female in my squad when I was with the police! Been around enough men, in enough pubs to know what that means!"

Alucard suddenly narrowed those hellfire eyes on her. "Truly? I find myself...intrigued. Show me."

Seras squeaked. "Wh-wha-?"

Her master stepped forward, his obscenely long tongue snaking out to dampen his lips - for a moment it almost seemed as if he was tasting the air. It was positively the most indecent thing she'd ever seen!

"You wanted me to...see you more often," Alucard drawled as he drew near, one dark-as-night eyebrow cocked. He paused and looked down over her neck and chest before lazily allowing his burning eyes to trail back up. He looked at her with a blood-chilling smile.

"I decided I would acceed to your wishes...only I will be seeing more of you...often," he murmured darkly, bringing up a gloved hand to capture her chin between his thumb and fingers.

"M-Master! Y-you're kidding, right? I...this is madness!"

"Madness. Oh, yes." He licked his lips again and smiled insanely, his lips impossibly crooked. "Your eyes seem to have developed a rather unhealthy attatchment to my tongue, Police Girl..."

Seras gulped. She'd never really been truly afraid of being left alone with her Master before, but now she was terrified. Would he know what she felt for him? What would he do?

"Oh, now, isn't the real question what won't I do?" he whispered insidiously in her ear.

"Do you wish to find out?"

Shuddering, Seras closed her eyes and melted into the ink-dark circle of his arms...

"Oh, Master...is it always like this?" she breathed weakly sometime near dawn.

Alucard's wide, smooth chest moved against her bare back as he laughed.

"Oh, not at all, Police Girl," he hissed pleasantly in her ear. "Sometimes it hurts even worse!"

Seras closed her eyes in pleasure as his tongure worked against her neck, diligently clearing away the blood from his newest, more painful bite. He was teasing her, she knew. Her master wasn't like that - even if some of the amazing things he'd done to her were a little painful, he'd made it hurt in a good way...

"Are you certain now that you want me to 'pay attention' to you, Police Girl?" Alucard asked from inside her head, his deep laugh somehow also almost a giggle of insanity.

Seras sighed with what little energy she had left and turned into her Master's tight embrace.

"I think I could learn to like your kind of madness, Master."

"'But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.

'Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat. 'We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'

'How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.

'You must be,' said the Cat, 'or you wouldn't have come here.'" - Alice In Wonderland, Lewis Caroll

+eNd+

a/N: This is my first Hellsing fic, and it's just loosely based off the Hellsing Anime - NOT the Ultimate OVA because it's not been released here, yet, grrr - and I haven't read the Manga yet, but I do know there are a lot of differences I don't know about. I did try to get the details I had available right, but it was mostly just written for fun. Cheers!

Disclaimer: I do not own Hellsing, or any related characters.