DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own these characters. They are JK Rowling's. I'm simply borrowing them for amusement. No infringement is intended and I'm not making money off of this.
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Chapter 1 The Unexpected Dining CompanionThis had to be the most preposterous thing he had ever heard in his life. There was no way it could work-No! It shouldn't even be attempted in the first place. It was lunacy; utter madness…and he found himself wanting it to happen.
He had been a lonely bachelor since his school days, with the occasional date here and there, but it never became something serious. Now the prospect of what he had secretly wanted all his life was right in front of him, with in reach, and he was petrified of it. He wanted companionship, understanding, and love. The last thing he wanted was pity. But in the time that he had spent with her, he never got the feeling that she pitied him. It was quite strange. He actually felt like she was impressed by him. But he brushed it off as the imaginings of an old fool. Surely no young woman, especially not one like her, would ever consider such a man as an option. And yet, here he stood, the image of her teary eyes clear in his mind.
She had a crush on him, that much was obvious. Even he could see it. But he didn't think for one second that her feelings went any deeper on the matter. Well, no, that was a lie. He had thought about it, many times, but he would not allow himself to give in to such delusions. There was no way….
She knew she loved him. She had known for ages and it was killing her. All she wanted was to be close to him, for him to let her love him. All he was content to do was tell her that it could never work. "I'm too old for you."he would say whenever she broached the subject. Or her would tell her "I'm too dangerous for you. You deserve better." She had made up her mind long ago and she would not change it now. Yes, he was older than her, but no more that a few years. Age wasn't a factor, really. It didn't bother her and she didn't think he should be bothered by it either. As for him being dangerous- again, it was true- to a point. His little 'quirk' was not a pleasant one, but it was manageable and it was something that she actually liked about him. It had helped make him into the man that he was. As for her deserving better, she would be the judge of what was best and she had already decided that he was the crème of the crop.
She had grown tired of him pushing her away and had gone to his flat to tell him so. They now stood facing each other. He was shocked to see her at his door and her eyes were blazing at him.
"I…wasn't expecting you, Nymphadora. Come in."he said politely.
She entered and shrugged her coat off with a sigh. "You know I detest it when you use my full name, Remus."she reminded him and he gave her a small smile as he took her coat. "Yes, but it is your proper name."he said. She rolled her eyes at him and shook her head. "So, what brings you to this old wolf's den, hmm?"he asked. "I wanted to talk to you about what's been happening recently."she said. "Why don't we go into the sitting room to talk then? Care for something to drink? Tea? Coffee?"he offered. "Tea, please."she said and she followed him through the flat and sat in the sitting room and watched as he made the tea. "You prefer the muggle way?"she asked as he handed her a cup and sat down with his own in the chair beside hers. He shrugged. "Old habit, I suppose."he said, sipping the tea. "So, is it safe to assume that you did not come here to talk to me about the most recent attacks?"he asked her and she looked him in the eyes. "You know I could talk to you about those at the Order meetings."she said curtly and he nodded. "I know, but I was hopeful. Well, I know you well enough to know that when you have something to say, it is best to let you say it. The floor is yours."he smiled.
She took a deep breath and began. "Why do you keep avoiding me?"she asked. "Avoiding you? I haven't been…"he defended. "Yes you have! You barely say hello and goodbye to me at the meetings and nothing else. You barely even look at me!"she said. He sighed heavily. She was right and he had no defense. "I …I haven't been trying to ignore you, Nymphadora. I have been trying to reason with myself that being with you is a horrible idea."he said. "And why is it such a bad idea?"she questioned. "I've already told you… I'm far too old for you and too dangerous, and you deserve someone who can support you."he told her. "For starters, you're only seven years older than I am. My grandparents had a sixteen-year age difference! So don't even try that. Secondly, you are not that dangerous. You are very careful and if you take the potion there is nothing to worry about."she said and he began again. "You know very well that that potion isn't a cure, Nymphadora. It only curbs some of my instincts, it doesn't make me into a lapdog."he corrected. He would have to concede the age argument to her. She continued as if he had said nothing of great argument. "And who in blazes said I wanted you to support me? I can take care of myself and I have enough money."she told him. "It's still wrong Nymphadora."he sighed. "What about it is wrong? And stop calling me that!"she said. "I am not a human and I would pose a threat to you. We would not be accepted. I don't want that for you. I have grown up without acceptance but you… And I would not want to hurt you or risk turning you into a monster."he said. "Accepted? Who are you kidding Remus? Pink hair. Looks that I can change on a whim. Oh yes, I fit right in."she said sarcastically. "Ny…"she cut him off. "And as for the monster bit… Do you really see yourself as a monster?"she asked, her eyes softening as she looked at him. He nodded with a sigh. "I lose myself when I transform and become something evil. I don't want to take the risk that I will hurt you or curse you to the same fate as me. I won't let that happen Nymphadora. I won't let you endanger yourself."he told her. "Remus Lupin you unbelievably bloody selfish git! How dare you try to make decisions for me! You aren't my father and I'm a big girl. I can choose for myself and I choose you."she told him. He shook his head. "Why choose me, Nymphadora? Why choose me over a young, whole man? Why…"he asked. She got up and knelt in front of him and took his hands in hers. "Because I love you."she whispered as she looked up at him.
He gaped at her. How could this be happening? How could this be true?
She was young and perfect. Why in the bloody hell would she settle for an old codger like him? He damn near asked her that, but when he saw the look in her eyes, he lost his resolve. He could see that she loved him and what was more, he loved her and he'd have been willing to bet a lifetime supply of Honey Duke's chocolate that she knew it too.
She leaned up and captured his lips in a chaste kiss and he kissed her back, just barely, before pulling back to look at her. "This is a mistake Nymphadora…"he whispered. "I'll be the judge of that."she told him with a smile. His eyes searched hers for an instant before letting her claim his lips again.
The kiss overwhelmed his senses. It was soft and powerful at the same time. He instantly began to return the kiss and was rewarded with a smile against his lips. His hands came up to cup her face and the back of her head as he leaned into the kiss, turning it from raw and powerful to tender before he released her.
He rested his forehead against hers as they both caught their breath. "This really isn't a good idea…"he panted, glancing out the window for an instant. "It's a crescent moon tonight."she told him. "I know, but still…."he muttered.
She sighed and got up and sat on his lap, shaking her head at him. "Do me a favor Remus and take a deep breath."she told him. He narrowed his gaze at her. He was worried for a good reason and she was mocking him! "Look, you can't live your life always worried about 'maybes' and 'what ifs'. I wouldn't even call that living, to be honest."she said and he opened his mouth to argue but she continued. "Maybe I'll fall off my broom tomorrow and die. What if the Ministry falls apart at the seams? We can play that game but no one ever wins it Remus. Worrying about what may never happen is a waste of time. And, though I am fond of your gray hair, you shouldn't speed up the graying."she told him, fingering a lock of his hair appreciatively as she said it. She was fond of it! She actually like his gray hair! "Maybe that is true, but there are things to be concerned about, Nymphadora. Relationships are complicated to begin with and my ….situation just makes things even more so."he told her. She looked at him intently, slightly cocking her head to the side. "Do you really think that I care about that Remus? Do you really think that that would stop me from loving you?"she asked. "Honestly, I doubt it, but it should. No one in their right mind would want to be so close to me."he said and she smirked. "Lucky for you, everyone always said I was never 'right in the head'."she chuckled. "I'm serious Nymphadora."he said gravely. "Okay, so….once a month you turn into a less than friendly creature…So your hormones are out of whack and your senses go haywire….So you howl a bit. Nothing I haven't done or been through before."she said with a casual shrug of her shoulders. "You've never seen me transform, you have no idea."he said but she shook her head. "I'm a woman Remus, trust me, if there is a species on this planet that knows about monthly pains and hormones-it's the human female."she said and Remus blushed slightly. She had a point. "Yes, but…."he said swallowing hard. "But?"she asked. Oh Merlin! How was he going to say this with out sounding like…Sirius or James? "Uh…if…that is, well relationships progress and…" He dropped his gaze, trying hard to keep the blush out of his face and the quiver out of his voice. 'This would be much easier if she wasn't on my lap!'he thought. "If we got to the point where we wanted to…" 'OH JUST SPIT IT OUT YOU COWARDLY WEREWOLF!'he yelled internally and he looked back up at her. "What the bloody hell am I thinking! It could never happen and I won't let it. I won't put you in that kind of danger."he flared. "What kind of danger is there in us making love?"she questioned. 'Damn! She was actually able to follow what I was rambling about.'he thought. "Lycanthropy is transmitted by heredity, venom from a bite, and bodily fluids Nymphadora."he said. She gave him a nonplussed look. "I could turn you. Don't you understand! I never want this kind of life for you! I don't want to curse you with such an existence."he told her. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment before she spoke. "Why is it so hard for you to understand that I love you? Don't you realize what that means Remus? It means that I accept you for who you are. It doesn't matter to me that you are a werewolf. You could be a vampire, a centaur, hell, you could even be the giant squid and I would still love you. What matters to me is you, nothing else."she said. "But I could kill you."he said very quietly. She nodded. "Yes, you could, but if I was worried about being in danger and getting hurt I wouldn't have become an Auror. I'm a big girl Remus. I can handle it."she smiled.
As he looked down at her, he started to believe her. She had become an Auror. Not exactly the safest career choice and she had joined the Order, also not the safest of choices. But there were still things to worry about. What if they did become close? What if…. 'Merlin forbid, I could never…'thought Remus when a very unnerving thought occurred to him.
"Could you really Nymphadora? Could you really handle it?"he whispered. "Yes."she answered. "You could handle watching me transform every month? You could handle the chance that I might pass my Lycanthropy on to you?"he asked her and she nodded vehemently. He shook his head and sighed. "And what about a family?"he asked. "A…a family? Remus, do you…?" He cut her off. He didn't want her jumping to conclusions. "You are young, Nymphadora and you are a very kind person. You deserve a man who can give you children."he told her. "Remus…"she said sadly. "I don't want a child to go through what I have gone through, Nymphadora. I couldn't force such a thing on an innocent child."he whispered but she could see the pain in his eyes and hear it in his voice. 'It sounds like he resigned himself to loneliness a long time ago….' She thought and it broke her heart.
She brought her hands up to his face and smiled softly at him. It brought tears to her eyes to hear the deep concern he had for the subject. "Don't you want a family Remus? Aren't you entitled to one just as much as I am?"she asked him. "I…yes, I would like to have a family, but… I…I am not entitled to one. I am one of the last people who should have a family."he said. "That's not true! You're the kindest man I've ever met and your wonderful around children. Just because you are a werewolf is no reason not to have the family that you want."she told him. He looked at her with surprise. That was the first time any one had said he should have a family. "I know you consider your friends your family, but…"she said. "But you think I should have a wife and children."he finished for her and she nodded. He sighed heavily and closed his eyes. 'And would you be my wife? Would you give me those children?'he thought to himself. She was the only woman he had ever met that was not bothered by his Lycanthropy. And she wanted a relationship with him regardless. He shook his head to clear it. There was no use in thinking about such things- things that would not happen.
"Remus?"she whispered. "Hmm?"he murmured, opening his eyes.
All this talk of family made her eyes tear up. She needed a change of topic or she would be sobbing her eyes out in seconds.
"Have you eaten dinner yet?"she asked him. He smiled at the turn the conversation had taken. "No, I haven't."he said. "Would-would you like me to make something for you?"she asked him. He couldn't help it- he laughed. "Hey! I'm a good cook!"she said defensively. "Yes, but you drop more food and pans than any other I have ever seen."he chuckled. She frowned. "I know, I'm a klutz…."she whispered. 'You don't need to rub it in…' she thought. He saw the sadness in her eyes and brushed his hand against her cheek, causing her to look up at him curiously. "I didn't mean it like that, Nymphadora. And you're not a klutz. Why don't I help you, hmm?"he smiled. Her demeanor perked up immediately and she hopped out of his lap with a grin. "Alright then, what should we make?"she asked eagerly as she went into the kitchen.
He watched her curiously for a moment before following her into the kitchen. "I have no idea, really. What ever you like is fine by me."he told her. "Hmm…in that case…."she said and she began to rummage through the pantry and cabinets for something suitable to eat.
Fifteen minutes later saw him peeling potatoes and her attempting to sear meat. He chuckled at the sight. "Nymphadora, why don't I cook the meat? That stove was always a bit finicky."he suggested. "Are you sure?"she asked, almost hoping that he would let her finish. "Unless you want to keep trying?"he said and she nodded. "Alright."he said with a smile as he began to boil the potatoes beside her at the stove.
"This is nice."she smiled after a few minutes. "What is?"he questioned. "Cooking together. I never have anyone to cook with and I think it's more fun with someone else there."she answered. He nodded. "You're right. It is more fun."he agreed. He liked seeing her like this. He liked seeing her happy, but what was more was that she was happy with him. He knew he should not have been thinking it, but he was. He wondered if it could always be like that. He found himself wondering what it would be like if they could do this every day.
They sat down at the small kitchen table and he handed her a butter beer. "I think a toast is in order."she said. "A toast to what?"he asked curiously. "To not breaking dishes!"she grinned and he smiled. "I'll drink to that."he said and he tapped his bottle against hers. "Cheers."she smiled and they both drank.
"Do you want any more meat?"he asked and she shook her head. "You should eat more meat. You're so pale…"she said, taking in his complexion. He laughed. "This is England, everyone is pale."he said with a snort. "You know what I meant."she told him and he nodded. "I'm afraid I don't have the means to eat meat regularly. Tonight is a rare occation."he admitted. "Well, we'll just have to do something about that then, won't we?"she smiled. "What are you plotting, Nymphadora?"he inquired. "Plotting? I'm doing no such thing!"she denied. "I know that look. Sirius used to get that same smirk on his face when we were planning our pranks and adventures."he said. "No, it's nothing like that. I mean, I was thinking that we could have dinner more often and…I always have too much food at home any way. It's rather wasteful; really…"she rambled. "I don't want charity, Nymphadora…"he said. "Did I say 'charity'? I said I wanted dinner. There is a big difference. Besides, Molly and I both agree that you need to eat healthier."she said, as if that was the end of it. He sighed knowing that if she was resorting to Molly, then he had better just accede defeat. The last thing he wanted was to have an angered Molly Weasely giving him a piece of her mind on the matter. Sighing, he nodded in agreement. She smiled at him and gave him another helping of meat.
He had not expected her and dinner had been a pleasant surprise. It was nice to have someone to dine with for once. And for the first time in a long while, he didn't feel quite so lonely.
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A/N- Kind of long, but it sets every thing up nicely. Comments,reviews, and feedback are strongly encouraged. Thanks for reading and please come back and read the next chapter.