Well p33ps, welcome to my first ever fanfiction. One hopes it will bring you all much joy and so on. Reviews would be immensely appreciated!
I'm sorry for making everyone (especially Mr. Strife) hilariously out of character. I hope you'll forgive me.
Disc: Don't own it, don't make money off it, just love writing it.
Anyway, on with the show!
HOW ATROCIOUS.
HOW TERRIBLE.
HOW OUTRAGEOUS.
"LEON, WE'RE OUT OF WEETOS!"
…
"LEON, WE ARE OUT OF W-E-E-T-O-S!"
…
"LEON, WE'RE OUT OF MILK!"
Bang bang bang. CRASH. Door off hinges. Enter red-faced loon.
"What? What was that! I could have sworn I bought some yesterday!" he raged, charging over to the fridge and almost breaking the door on that too in his milk-worry enduced haste. He actually went goo-eyed with relief as he grasped a fresh carton and went at it with gusto, dribbling some down his front. The things you see when you don't have a camera.
"Yeah, I lied. It's Weetos we're out of," I said, fearing he might drown himself if he didn't slow down. He finally stopped, placed what was left of the carton lovingly back in the fridge and rounded on me.
"Sora you shit, I nearly fell down the stairs! Don't ever do that again," he ordered. He was looking at me like I'd just shat through the letterbox. I will never understand him. Ever.
"Leon, I've said it before and I'll say it again, you need to go to some sort of milk-rehab resort. I'm sure there are plenty of other crazy milk people there you'll get along well with. Maybe you'll meet a crazy milk lady and fall in love," I rambled trying to lighten his mood, failing miserably and only lowering mine by remembering Kairi's heinous scheme vis a vis Cloud and… Leon and… togetherness; she'd called me in the dead of night to tell me of her new plan to interfere with other people's love-lives. Quite possibly because hers isn't going anywhere. Leon gave his classic 'I am not best amused' face and stormed out, leaving me alone in this Weeto-less wonderland.
Me and Leon share this little apartment/house deely and go to the same college, but he's in the year above me and Kai, and a raging milk fiend.
Ah well, time to wash and garb myself, for today is Monday and there is learning afoot. I went up to the bathroom, brushing my teeth and washing my face before pulling on a pair of jeans and blue t-shirt and heading out the front door towards El Kai's house. I was there in record time, stopping only to poke a jellyfish with a stick, and found her sitting on her doorstep in her new sunglasses. And clothes, obviously. She flashed me a big, cheesy smile before jumping up and running over to me to give me the usual bone-crushing hug; she really does not know her own strength, and I for one am not going to be the one to tell her.
We began walking to school, her chattering mere white noise to me as I put all my energies into hoping she had forgotten about her 'genius' plan.
"You're not even listening to me. I bet you're putting all your energies into hoping I've forgotten my genius plan."
DAMN YOU, ENERGIES! Oh well, time to face the music I suppose. And by face the music I mean change the subject.
"It's not that it's not a good plan," I began, patting her little red head, "I just don't think that there's a chance it'll work what with Leon being Leon. Haha speaking of Leon, you should have been there this morning, it was dastardly. I--"
"Sora! Don't try to change the subject, this is personal to me!" she cut in; it's creepy how she can see right through me, like I'm some sort of gelatin dessert.
"How is it personal to you? It has nothing to do with you, you're just sticking your nose into other, and might I add very angry, people's business."
"Well, I just like it. I haven't set anybody up since Selphie and Kadaj and it is getting me down. I like to think of myself as quite the puppetmaster," she replied, doing hand motions as though she were holding puppets. I decided to give up, realising all attempts to sway her would be beyond futile.
"Well on your fat head be it," I remarked, which I'll admit earned the punch on the arm I received in response. We soon reached the college gates, Kairi releasing a resounding 'Noooooooooooo!' when we saw Tidus standing there with his 'gang', a motley crew comprised mainly of those with an IQ less than seventy and thick-headed blitzballers. Tidus was hell-bent on getting Kairi out on a date with him, but he is rather out of luck, what with Kairi being a lesbian and all. No-one has told him though, or perhaps they have and it just did not permeate his swelled head, either way he hasn't stopped asking her out. At first she was quite a good sport, saying things like 'I'm just not interested in a relationship' and so on, but they got gradually nastier. I believe the last one was 'I'd rather set fire to myself'.
Ol' Tidus spotted us soon enough, whispered something to someone next to him and jogged over to us, his white teeth blaring against his heavily tanned skin. Oh, here we go. I hoped Kairi had another turn-down ready.
"Kai, babe," he began, not acknowledging my wonderful self at all, "the college is planning a dance for next Friday, wanna be my date for the night? I'll show you a good time." Oh shit, I had to shove my fist in my mouth at that. He's too much.
"Tidus, Tidus, Tidus," Kairi said, smiling sadly as though she pitied him, "I'm sorry but…"
"But what?" he asked, apparently confused (a rare occurrence… not).
"I…"
"You what, babe?"
"I'd rather make love to a cactus."
OH. MY. GOD. The fist came flying out of my mouth amid a storm of hysterical laughter, making people all around turn to stare at the three of us. Tidus went sensationally red with anger and muttered something incomprehensible before turning and storming into the building, past his friends' confused faces. Kairi giggled and bent to see if I was okay, what with me being doubled up with painful laughs.
"Did I go too far?" she asked, smiling.
"N… nono that was classic," I choked, straightening up. Goodness, that's put me in a good mood that has. We walked into college and went straight to the vending machine as per usual for the morning Skittles fix, most vital if we were to stay awake for the whole of English Literature. It was as I was bent over retrieving my bag of multi-coloured goodies that Kairi slapped me on the back of the head and squealed in excitement.
"Ow… what!" I asked, standing and rubbing the offended area. She was grinning like an idiot and staring down the corridor, so I followed her gaze, stomach turning to lead as I saw Cloud Strife standing by his locker with a couple of friends. He was wearing a baby pink t-shirt with faded jeans, and doing, for reasons I'd rather not know, the macarina. I looked to my side to say to Kairi something along the lines of 'He looks busy' to see no-one there, her having sped off up the corridor sans warning to join in the unexplained dancing. Upon seeing this, Cloud laughed and carried on, his moves becoming more exuberant. Christ, I'd better stop this nonsense before it turns into some sort of competition face-off type thing. Nobody wants to see that.
"Hey, guys!" I said loudly, jogging over to them. They mercifully stopped their merriment, Cloud beaming at me before flapping over to give me a hug.
"Sora! Too long it's been, TOO long!"
"It's only been a weekend."
"The days feel like years whence spent away from you!" Bless his fancy pants. His enthusiasm is so catchy, like Kairi's when she comes up with some hair-brained scheme.
"Never a truer word!" I yelled, sounding like some sort of deranged pantomime character and hugging him again. I turned to see Kairi standing with Yuffie and Axel, who must have been with Cloud before we interfered like the rudey-bums we are.
"Taste the rainbow," she was saying to Axel, offering her packet of Skittles.
"No thank you."
"TASTE IT."
"Ooer… okay," he said meekly, taking a purple one.
"Kairi!" I shouted, "stop being an ass. Didn't you want to talk to Cloud anyway?"
"Oh, that's right!" She bounded over to us, pulling on Cloud's arm and leading him round the corner, me tagging along behind. Good grief, I hope he thinks this plan is as ridiculous as I do, which was not altogether likely what with Cloud being as camp as a pink tent and Leon being the resident sexy-and-mysterious type at the college. Kairi veered off into a stock cupboard, and we were soon seated on boxes of exercise books and spare computer parts.
"OOH, SECRETS!" burst Cloud, looking thoroughly over-excited and bouncing up and down on his little seat.
"Yay! I mean, we have a proposition for you Mr. Strife. What do you think of Sora's lovable, huggable, molestable house-mate Mr. Leonhart?" said Kai, trying to keep the excitement out of her own voice and failing miserably. I had to give her cred for mentioning Leon's name and the word 'huggable' in the same sentence, a fate I would not have thought possible.
"Well, I wouldn't kick him out of bed! Oooh, I wouldn't mind tying him down and-- "
"Whooo, let's keep it PG hey kids?" I barged mid-fantasy, fearing that had he continued I would have to stick kebab skewers in my ears. Cloud giggled and apologised.
"Why do you ask?" he said, turning back to Kairi, who seemed unable to keep the terrifying, cheshire cat-esque smile off her face. She looked like a woman possessed.
"That is for us to know and you to… not know. Anyway, I do believe it's time for English!" she cackled, jumping up and leaving the cupboard in what she must have thought was a very enigmatic fashion. I sighed and followed her, Cloud on my heels obviously deep in thought about Kai's leaving statement. Or he needed the toilet, I don't know. We arrived at English class late, not that I was bothered though as Mrs. Thomas was arsing about at the front of the room writing jibberish on the whiteboard.
It was only when me and Cloud were seated that I noticed there was someone I didn't recognise sitting the other side of me. Now normally, I'm all for invading a new student's privacy, but there was something about this guy that stopped me. He had shiny black hair down to just below his shoulders, and was wearing a black t-shirt with grey jeans; nothing out of the ordinary I hear you squeal, but he just had an… aurora? Is that the word? Oh I don't know, I was never very good at Scrabble. But whatever it was, it was giving me the heebie-jeebies.
Apparently he was yesterday's news though, or else Mrs. Thomas had forgotten about him because he wasn't introduced at the beginning of the lesson. I turned to Cloud on the other side of me to enquire about the guy's aurora, but he was filing his nails and humming to himself and I thought it best to not disturb.
"Right! Today we are going to continue with our study of Of Mice and Men!" Mrs. Thomas's voice came, shrill over the chunter of the classroom; nobody took her lessons very seriously, something which seemingly evaded her notice, "we're going to do roleplay."
"Ooh, kinky," Cloud muttered, making me snort with laughter.
"What's so funny Mr. Conolly? You can be Candy," came the bint's voice. Eeergh, why do I get stuck being some old grandad with a mouldy dog? Woe is me indeed. She allocated everyone else a character, except one.
"Okay, who wants to be Curley's Wife?" she asked. Cloud's hand shot into the air.
"I'll do it Mrs. Thomas!" he chimed, a toothy smile winging her way.
"Er… okay Mr. Strife," she said uncertainly, Cloud clapping his hands together happily, "we'll start from where we left off, in Crook's bunk. Please stand up when it is your turn to speak."
And so it began. For the most part it was pretty monotonous, apart from Cloud's flamboyant female accent whenever it was Curley's Wife's turn to speak. I heaved myself up to my feet when it was Ol' Candy's turn, and was continuously berated for my lack of accent and/or enthusiasm. We were nearing the end of the scene, when it was the old fart's turn to speak again. I stood up wearily.
"Come on Lennie, time to--" but I had to leave the class in suspense as to what exactly what it was time to do, as the door opened and the person of my dreams walked in. He had long, silvery hair that floated behind him as he walked, eyes the most clear, cerulean blue, and the tightest ass I'd ever seen in my life; he was carrying a note in his godly hand, making his way up to the front of the room. It was all slow motion. Everything was brighter and clearer. I could have sworn I could hear a chorus of 'Why do birds suddenly appear' … until I realised it was because Cloud was singing it.
It was only then I noticed that I'd dropped my copy of Of Mice and Men, and my mouth was open. And I was just… staring! Like some sort of UNSTOPPABLE IMBECILE! SIT DOWN SORA! I flopped into my seat and sank as low as I could go, the whole class giggling away. Ohh God, shutup shutup shutup. What WAS that! He's a DUDE! And I was eyeballing him like there was no tomorrow!
The boy was just standing at the front of the class, oblivious to what everyone was laughing about. I hope he doesn't look my way, you could fry a fucking egg on my face. After what felt like about ten years of neverending agony, the laughter subsided, and the boy left. Kai turned around in her seat to look at me, the most evil, most scheming look on her face, before doing Puppetmaster hands. If she dares. If she very dares. I shook my head violently, but she just turned back around.
I hastily ripped a piece of paper from my exercise book and scribbled a note:
"don't you DARE kai, i'll never ever speak to you, ever again. that will be the end of our friendship. finito. good day."
And I threw it at her. It fell down the front of her tank top, which made her squeak. She pulled it out, receiving a fair few strange glances, and read. Not long after, she sent one back:
"but sora, that was the look of LUUUUUURVE! it would be a crime to let that little fish fly by."
ARGH! She was really going to do it. I sent her another note:
"I MEAN IT! it was nothing! I just got a bit distracted is all."
She sent a final one back:
"T3H PUPPETMAST000R HAS SP0K3N!"
I hate her, I really, really do. With a great, big, fiery pash. I'd have to talk to her after the lesson, and by talk I mean there would be some serious bribery afoot. I'm talking cheesecakes galore. Anything so she would keep her big fat mouth shut. Oh Lord, I wished the freaking bell would go.
"Vincent?" Mrs. Thomas suddenly spoke, having been sat on her ass for about five minutes fannying about on her laptop. I pondered who she could have been speaking to, seeing as there wasn't a Vincent in our class, when the boy next to me lifted his head from his arms and looked up expectantly. It was only then that I saw his eyes, the goddamn weirdest eyes I'd ever seen; blood red. I couldn't stop staring at them, until I shook myself and was reminded of where uncontrolled staring had landed me ten minutes ago.
"Yes Mrs. Thomas?" he asked, his voice raspy, like he'd just woken up. He might have done actually, I don't know.
"You have an anger management session at eleven o' clock. Did you know?" Mrs. Thomas unashamedly asked.
"Yes, I did. But thank you for making it public," he deadpanned, which made me chuckle a little along with a few others as Vincent put his head back on his arms. I thought I heard him mutter 'Wench' under his breath.
I buried my head back in my Of Mice and Men book, which I had retrieved from the floor, concentrating my absolute darndest on reading and trying not to think of anything else. I knew I was going to have to eventually though, because it was one of those thoughts; the type that creep after you and then barge in unexpectedly, like when you're trying to sleep (at home or in lesson) and when you're trying to bathe. Stupid, stupid stalker thoughts.
The bell was very much welcome twenty minutes later, as I was giving myself a headache from all the aggressive reading. Kairi took off out the door like she had a rocket up her bottom to evade my planned swooping upon her and giving her an ear-full, so I was stuck with Cloud who was wearing a very smarmy expression indeed as we left the room.
"So," he said, his lips so tight from trying not to grin they'd turned white.
"What?"
"I would just like to say…"
"Yes?"
"…"
"…"
"…welcome to the team."
And with that, he buggered off down the corridor giggling. THAT'S IT. I'M GOING HOME. I stormed down the corridor and out through the gates, thinking I'd just call up the college when I got back and say I was ill and so on. I marched down the pathway and out onto the beach, past Kairi's house towards mine and Leon's place, my anger so immensely huge that I didn't even stop to poke the jellyfish on the way back.
Leon, being off college for the day was lying out on the porch catching some rays (glass of milk in hand) and I couldn't even be bothered telling him why I was back early; I walked past and went straight up to my room and collapsed on my bed, warm from the sun through the window.
It had been a strange day, indeed.
Phew! That was fun! I don't think that was particularly well-written, but I just need to set everything up. Like a big chessboard or something. With Cloud as the queen of course.
This was originally the second chapter, so I apologise if it seems like some things don't quite fit together, but I felt this one would make a better first chap.
Reviews! Reviews! How I loves them
Lots of love, Starlyte. x