Saying Goodbye

Lily heard the scuffling downstairs and held Harry close. She knew what was going to happen. She had known it would happen since she had last kissed James. She had known then it had been a goodbye kiss. A goodbye kiss to her husband of only 2 years. The baby in her arms cooed, and she gently shushed it, rocking the baby boy back and forth. Lily heard the cold, cruel voice of Voldemort, and then her husband spoke. She couldn't understand the words, but the voice was strong and sure. She could just picture James staring at the terror of the wizarding world with his head held high, his back straight, and his eyes burning defiantly. In her mind's eye, Lily saw James's jaw set as he radiated waves of anger, determined to stop anyone who dared to try and hurt his wife and son. James knew what was going to happen, just like she did. He wanted to give her a chance. Lily remembered their last frantic moments together.

"James-" she'd said, worried when she had seen his face. His reply had seemed to freeze her heart.

"Lily, take Harry and go! It's him! Go! Run! I'll hold him off-" James had told her, and then given her one quick kiss, breathing, "I love you and Harry both more than life itself," before he stumbled from the room, going out to face Voldemort. Going out to face his death. His face came into focus in her mind. His nice nose, his lips, his strong chin, his ready smile, his happy brown eyes. His eternally messy hair. She remembered all the times she had told him to take care of it, and his answer had always been the same. "My hair is unmanageable, Lily, even magic can't do anything to it." She felt a tear slide down her cheek, knowing that last whispered 'I love you' would be the last time she'd hear it from him. She pulled her baby close and kissed his forehead, pushing back jet black bangs.

"Your father's a wonderful man, Harry," Lily whispered before she put Harry in the cradle. She had to get something. There was one thing she had to have, one thing that couldn't be remade if destroyed, even with magic.. She was on the other side of the room from Harry when she heard a sound that made her shiver. A high, cold, cruel laugh. That laugh could belong to only one person, Voldemort. Lily was glad she had spent those short, yet precious moments saying goodbye to her husband. She was glad she had taken her last chance to tell James how much she loved him. To tell him for the final time. As if to confirm her thought, she heard the two worst words in the world. The words that make even the greatest wizards cower in fear. The words that make the strongest men break.

"Avada Kedavra!" Voldemort yelled with fiendish glee.Lily heard something fall to the ground. She knew what had collapsed; she knew James had fallen, unblemished, to the floor. Lily knew that if she were to look out into their family room, she would see James lying there in a crumpled heap. She would see his body, now simply a discarded husk that was no longer her beloved James Potter, because her husband was dead. Lily had known it would happen, had been unconsciously waiting for those dreaded words, but she still froze in shock. The awful truth still slipped from her grasp-just like the picture she had been holding-even though she knew James was dead. Her James was gone from her life. Gone forever. Her son would never hear his father's contagious laugh again, would never get to go running as fast as he could to welcome his dad home from work, would never hear his father tell him, 'I love you, son.' Lily knew that these things were true, but she didn't understand them. It was still too new, too unreal. Lily couldn't wrap her mind around it. She didn't understand it, but she still whispered, "Goodbye, James, my love."

She turned slowly, in a trance-like state, and walked towards the crib, all her carefully laid plans trickling away like water. The closer she tried to hold them, the quicker they slipped away from her. She didn't care. She knew she should be worried, but she wasn't. Lily was too stunned to be bothered by lack of fear. She picked up her one-year-old son, a child who looked just like her beloved James, and held him close.

"Well, Harry, it's just you and me now," she said, and she kissed his cheek as she laid him gently down. "You know, I don't know what to do. I think we might die. I don't want to, but at the same time I do. I loved James so much, and I can't picture life without him. I'm going to get you away, though, and then I'll come back. I can't let you die. It's a mother's love that won't allow me to let my child come to harm. The mother in me still has an idea what to do, even if the rest of me doesn't. I have to come back, though. I'll get a few things: clothes, books…pictures of your father and us as a family. In case I don't make it, Harry, I love you. I know you won't remember this, you're too young, but I still want to tell you. I still need to tell you this, Harry. I hope you have a wonderful life and-"

Lily stopped when she heard the door creaking open behind her and turned quickly, stopping dead at what she saw. Voldemort's wand was pointed casually at the crib. It looked casual, but nothing from the Dark Lord was as simple as it seemed. It was all full of evil and hate. Lily hurried to put herself directly in front of her son, between him and the wand. She couldn't let Harry get hurt. He was her son, hers and James. She would die to protect him. She knew that without a doubt, and it gave her strength. "Good-bye Harry," Lily whispered, even though she knew her son couldn't hear her.

Voldemort smiled at her, a frozen smile that sent chills through her entire body and even into her bones, but she didn't waver. This was where she belonged, between Voldemort and her son. She belonged in front of Harry, protecting him.

"Stand aside, you have no need to die," he hissed in his cold voice. He waited for her to obey.

A fog seemed to have enveloped her mind when he said those words.Those were words of mercy and pity. Words of human feeling coming from a man who knew nothing of human emotions, a person who relished in the pain and fear of others. He was telling her to stand aside? She was being given a choiceWell, Lily knew what she would do. Harry was her son and she was not going to let him be slain.

"I said stand aside, girl. When I speak, you listen. When you hear me, you obey. Now move, you don't have to die like your pathetic excuse for a husband," Voldemort said, talking of murdering James as if it had been nothing more than a simple bat-boogie hex. She felt hot anger lick her insides.

She heard, other laughter, other voices, and knew the sounds belonged to Death Eaters. They sounded as if they came from another time and another place, though she knew they were from her current nightmare. Her nightmare that had become her reality. She smelt smoke. Her house was on fire. Her home. James's home. She looked down at her feet, not wanting Voldemort to see her emotions show, and saw the picture she had dropped, with glass shards laying all around it. It was the three of them-her, James, and Harry-laughing and smiling at Harry's first birthday. Harry had cake smeared all over his face, just like most one year olds at their birthday. She was looking proudly at her son, love showing from her eyes. She felt tears come to her eyes as looked at James's laughing face as he held his son, but batted them away. Voldemort could not see her cry…he would take it as weakness. The shards of glass had torn into the picture, ripping it…but it was nothing compared to how those two words-the death of her husband-had torn her heart apart, leaving it in little pieces like the glass front of the frame.

"I am waiting," Voldemort snapped impatiently.

Lily took a deep breath, looking at the James and Harry in the picture, the sounds of her house being destroyed in her ears, and she screamed. She glared defiantly at Voldemort, the person she had once feared more than another in the world. Her scream had turned into a shriek of rage, a screech of defiance, and a cry of anguish. It was not a yelp of fear. She was beyond fear.

'Let me kill the brat, wench," Voldemort ordered. "Imperio!"

Lily suddenly felt light, she felt happy. The sadness, the rage, the emotions she had been experiencing were far away.

"Stand aside…stand aside, just move aside…" a voice echoed in her head. As Lily started to move, the voice went on, "Just move aside…let me kill the worthless whelp…" The voice had said the wrong thing. With those words, Lily threw the Imperious Curse off. Lily understood that he wasn't taunting her. Voldemort really wanted to kill her son, her baby boy. She knew that she had a choice to make, a choice between life and death. She knew which she would choose.

"Not Harry, not Harry, please not Harry!" she pleaded as the reality of the situation fully hit her. Voldemort wanted to murder her child, her son. But he had been willing to give her a chance, perhaps, just perhaps, he would be willing to give Harry a chance too.

Voldemort's mouth contorted. It was now a menacing line. "Stand aside, you silly girl…stand aside now-"

"Not Harry, please! Take me, kill me instead!" she begged, tears starting to leak from her eyes. Maybe he would take her as a substitute! She knew she was hanging onto hope, a very slim chance at some pity, but she had to. She had to plead for Harry, for her baby boy. For James's son.

Voldemort raised his wand, a cruel smile on his face. He was enjoying the begging. Perhaps, if she distracted him long enough, help would come in time to save Harry.

"Not Harry! Please…" Lily held her hands up in supplication, pleading for her son with her all. If only he'd take her life instead. Life would be nothing with both her loves gone, her husband and her son dead at the hands of this awful man. "Have mercy…have mercy…" she cried.

"Mercy?" he asked, chuckling as if amused by the idea. Lily reached her hand into the crib and felt a tiny fist grab onto her finger. She smiled slightly at the strength in the grip. She still found joy in her son, even though her husband was dead and his murderer was about to kill her.

"I think not," Voldemort continued in the same scornfully amused sort of way. "Mercy is for weak fools, and I am neither weak, Lily, nor a fool. I thought you knew that. I have overestimated others before, but I did think more of you," he sighed as if disappointed. "Oh well. Avada Kedavra!" a jet of green light shot from his wand towards her. She had time for two last thoughts to flit through head. She would be saying hello to James very soon, saying hello right after saying goodbye. As she heard the rush of speeding death, she thought, 'Goodbye, Harry, my precious son.'

The green light hit her and she knew no more. She was no more.

Sirius Black, in the form of the big, black dog was in a graveyard in Godric's Hollow. He was looking at the graves of the two best people in the world. James and Lily Potter. He had loved them both so much. He leaned down towards the grave, his wet nose leaving a water mark upon the headstone.

"James," he thought, "it's been twelve years, and I still miss you. I wish you were here. I wish that I wasn't the one to go and watch over Harry. I wish I wasn't the only one who knew what traitorous scum Peter was!" he thought vehemently. "But then again, if others knew that truth, you would be alive. I'm sorry. I am so sorry I had you change to Peter at the last minute. If I had stuck with the plan, you would be alive. If I hadn't tried to be bloody brilliant…Oh, James, Lily, why did I do that? Why did I have to switch to Peter? Why didn't I see what scum he was? Why!" Sirius thought, and he whined. If he had been in human form, he would have had tears running down his face. "I'll come back, if I get the chance. I need some time with you two. Right now, I have to go. I want to see Harry before he heads to Hogwarts. And James, Lily…I'll take good care of him. I promise." He turned around and padded back out of the graveyard. At the top of the hill, where he could look down on all of the graves, he looked over his shoulder.

Anyone who happened to be looking at this scene in the dead of night would have wondered at what they saw, for the dog waved goodbye.

Sirius knew what a foolish thing he was doing when he waved, he knew it was dangerous, but he was saying goodbye.