Disclaimer: I do not own High School Musical, so don't sue my sorry ass
A/N: Ok here's the deal, I am in a horrible mood right now so I decided to relieve some of my stress by writing this screwed and completely pointless paradoy. I just wanted to say that I do not use drugs and I do not condone that you use drugs. Also I am sure that I will get a flame saying "this is the dumbest story that I've ever read" and also codeming me to burn in hell for being such an atrocious writer but I just have to say, go ahead and leave flames, I need something to laugh at. Also this little drab is based loosely on the book Stuck in the Elevator by Kevin Myrick. My deepest apologies for what lies ahead.
It started on a day like any other day. There was laughter ringing in the polluted air andchildren were playing Frisbee while they shot up on heroin. In the distance two hobos could be seen eating the bread off the concrete that the pigeons hadn't deemed worthy enough to consume. Thus enters our 8 heroes, they will be referred to as Troy, Gabriella, Ryan, Sharpay, Zeke, Chad, Taylor, Jason and of course scrawny but undeniably adorable Kelsi. They were all heading to a meeting discussing civil rights for the mentally challenged caterpillars but unfortunately as they rode in the elevator that would lead them to their destination it jerked to an unpleasant halt on the 13th floor.
Ryan: We seem to be stuck.
Sharpay: And to think people call you an idiot……..
Kelsi: Now everybody just calm down…this is no time to panic.
Everyone looked around at each other, shrugging.
Troy: I'm not panicked ….how bout you Zeke?
Zeke: I'm actually feeling pretty good…..
Everyone but Kelsi nodded in a agreement. Kelsi fell to the ground in a huddled ball and started to repeat the phrase "cant sleep clowns will eat me" while pulling some speed pills out of her pocket and shoving them aggressively down her throat. Jason went to comfort her but she bit his hand.
Jason: Cow whore….
Taylor: Now I am sure there is a reasonable explanation for why this contraption referred to in Webster's Dictionary as an elevator has suddenly jerked to a halt.
Chad: Oh why don't you go solve something.
Chad spit on the floor to show off his manly demeanor and Taylor huddled in a corner and began to solve….things
Gabriella: I like to tomatoes, don't you like tomatoes Troy?
Gabriella batted her eyes flirtatiously up at him. Their relationship had never worked out because eventually they had run out of things to discuss but Gabriella felt that it was always worth a shot to find something in common between the two of them.
Troy: Well, I-
Gabriella kicked him in the shins and began to sob loudly.
Gabriella: YOU LOVE ME, I KNOW IT!
Troy: Huh?
Gabriella: Tomatoes are red………
Sharpay: This air is musty and my complexion does not mesh well with musty air (Turns and hits Ryan over the head) Fix it!
Ryan begins to try in vain to fix the "musty air" while the others look on him with pity.
Troy: Whipped…..
Chad: Completely whipped…..
Ryan: Oh why don't you go sing something.
Upon hearing the beautiful melodious voice of Ryan Evans, Troy turned to gaze into Ryan's blue (Insert descriptive eye details here) eyes.
Troy: Within the short but long awaited course of 20 seconds I have discovered that I am not only pitching for the other team but I am completely in love with you as well………want to make out…..
Ryan: Only if you pull your hair back in a ponytail and do a Katherine Hepburn impression.
Troy: I don't have a hair tie
Ryan: Sucks to be you…..
Zeke: I love Katherine Hepburn! She is my idol, I keep her close to my heart and in my wallet.
Zeke Pulls out a picture of Katherine Hepburn from his wallet.
Zeke: see…..
Sharpay: Oh why don't you go bake something…
Zeke: There's no oven.
Sharpay: You're so needy……
Over the course of the next five minutes, Taylor and Gabriella begin to draw primitive designs on the walls of the elevator and Chad's IQ drops by 50 points.
Chad: Me Chad.
Sharpay: I am honestly thinking about resorting to cannibalism just so I can eat you and do the rest of the world a favor!
Chad: Me Chad
Sharpay:I hope you get hit by a bus.
Chad: but we're on an elevator?
Sharpay: I hate you…..
Troy: I know! Let's sing "Were all in this together" you know, that song from the movie that were in…that were not supposed to know that were in….but really we do, even though we are supposed to believe that our world is real….even though it's all cinematography……even though we're not supposed to know that….because we are just mindless characters who can sing and are all professional dancers……it's kind of like that show called "the Truman show"…… you know….
Troy goes crossed eyed
Troy: Uh, what was I saying….
Troy begins to drool. Gabriella passes Troy a cookie and pats him on the head. Troy giggles and starts to recite Shakespearean lines to his cookie.
Taylor: I think that it would be in our best interests if we put our heads together and figure out a way to get out of this.
Sharpay: My doctor says that I shouldn't do anything too strenuous….
Taylor: Oh why don't you go dance something
Sharpay: Bitchin….
Sharpay begins to do the Cha Cha while Zeke and Jason pull out their air banjos and begin to play some radical songs. Life seems perfect….for now……
To be continued…well probably not….