Author's note: I am so sorry I subjected you to an entire ficlet just because I had an idea for a smartass line of dialogue.
Disclaimer: If I owned anything, I wouldn't feel the need to apologize.
Temperance gave a sputtering cough and pushed herself gingerly off the floor. Aside from a huge shard of glass in her thigh and various scrapes and bruises, she was none the worse for wear. She patted her clothes and coughed at the billows of dust the action created.
She looked up at the faint sound of coughing on the other side of the room. "Booth?" she called out cautiously, climbing over the debris towards the sound.
"Bones?" he called out in a choked voice.
She reached the spot where he was, and saw that a structural beam had fallen, pinning him beneath it. He groaned and gritted his teeth in pain.
She knelt down beside him and tilted her head so that she could get an idea of how he was pinned. The beam stretched across his abdomen, at the low end of his ribcage. He yelled out when she touched the spot.
She pulled her hand away and looked at his face. "Are you okay?"
He grunted. "Yeah, Bones, I'm fine. Don't interrupt me while I'm practicing yelling in agony."
"Okay, I get it," she said aggravatedly. "Stupid question. What can I do to help?"
"Shoot me," he said through clenched teeth.
She looked around the room, then moved down to his ankle and pulled out his spare gun.
He lifted his head to look down at her, and yelled frantically, "Bones, I was kidding!"
She looked at him witheringly as she moved back up to where his head rested. She put her hands underneath his shoulders and lifted him up slightly, then slid her knees under his back so that his upper body lay on her thighs. He yelled out in excruciating pain, calling out curses that Brennan had never heard before.
"Booth, try to relax," she said soothingly, laying a hand on his shoulder.
He let out a humorless laugh. "A little warning would be nice next time you try to kill me, huh?"
"I'm not trying to kill you," she said distractedly, missing his tone and aiming the gun at an object across the room. She fired.
Booth ignored the gunshot. "Well then let me know when you're gonna move me," he answered irritably.
"I'm going to move you," she said. Before he could process what she'd said, the beam lifted slightly and she heaved his body backwards, pulling him completely free right as the beam came crashing back down all the way to the floor where he was just seconds before.
"Uhhnnn…" he groaned, his breathing labored. Brennan took a moment to catch her own breath, surveying their surroundings.
She looked down at him. "Can you get up?" she asked.
His only response was a grunt as he slowly pushed himself into a sitting position, then with her help, stood up. He hunched over, unable to straighten up.
"I think I broke a couple ribs," he managed to gasp out.
"I think you're right," she said, pulling at the torn material of his shirt and examining the gash and surrounding purpling skin where the beam had landed.
"Bones," he said in a pinched voice. "No touching, huh?"
"Sorry," she said, wrapping his arm around her shoulders to support him as they navigated the destruction.
"So, Bones, next time you wanna investigate a building in California with a condemned sign out front…"
"Booth, you were just as anxious as I was to get in here," she countered defensively. "Besides, if it weren't for the earthquake, the building probably would've held."
"I know, Bones," he said. "I'm just venting."
"Well, stop it."
They proceeded in silence which was broken only by Booth's continued labored breathing. They passed through a hallway, and when they were halfway through it, they felt another wave of rumbling.
"Aftershock," Booth wheezed.
Tempe pulled him on as they raced to the doorway. They heard the ceiling above them crack, and were showered by particles. They made it to the doorway right as the whole ceiling caved. They stood under the doorway, hoping that it would withstand the reverberations.
Booth's back was against the door frame, and Tempe leaned against him, trying to be careful of his injury. He didn't seem to heed it at the moment, as his arms went around her and pulled her close. The shock only lasted about fifteen seconds, but it was enough to complete the collapse of the ceiling on either side of the doorway.
Booth dropped his hands and she pulled away. His skin was pale, and a cold sweat had broken out on his forehead. Brennan pulled her sleeve down and dabbed his skin, then placed her wrist across his brow to feel his temperature.
"Booth, we've got to get you out of here. Your body is going into shock."
He just nodded weakly, draping his arm around her shoulders again for support.
They were almost to the staircase that would take them downstairs and out the door when the floorboards started to creak beneath their feet. Before they had a chance to run, they were plummeting through the floor.
The debris settled, and there was no movement from either of the two.
"Booth?"
She tried to move, and gasped. He had fallen on her arm, and she was sure by the pain she felt that it was broken.
"Booth, can you hear me?" She turned her face towards him, trying to see if he was conscious.
"Seeley, answer me!" she started to call out frantically. She reached her other hand over to feel for a pulse. It was thready, but definitely there, and she could see the labored rise and fall of his chest.
With a surge of effort, she pushed him over and yanked her arm out from under him. She screamed and bit down so hard on her lip that it bled.
Booth stirred. "Bones?" he mumbled, as though drunk.
She was panting, her breath escaping in squeaks. She calmed herself enough to say, "Let's get out of here before the whole thing comes down on us."
They pulled each other up, though Tempe's right arm was useless, and Booth was on the verge of passing out again. They made it to the door just as another aftershock hit.
Temperance gave Booth one final push, and they were safely outside, sprawled side-by-side on the ground, as the building gave one last protest before crumbling to dust.
Seeley reached over and grasped Tempe's good hand. He squeezed it before drifting off into unconsciousness again. Temperance just lay there, stroking his fingers with her thumb as the sound of backup grew closer.
End
Yeah, it was pointless. Just an excuse for Booth to cop a feel. Nah, not really. Anyway, review it please. Tell me to get back to better fics.