"Female, 26 years old, with radiating pain in the lower back," George O'Malley piped up, as Izzie and Meredith looked on. Dr. Bailey stared at him, oddly.
"O'Malley, aren't you forgetting something?"
George and the other interns stared blankly at their resident, who sighed in frustration. "Her NAME, George. What is the patient's NAME?"
George turned bright red. "Chasmmphmmph" he mumbled. Bailey put her hands on her hips.
"What?"
"Erm...erm...Chastity...ehhh..Looselips."
Meredith and Izzie stifled laughter, and Bailey just glared. "O'Malley, that is NOT funny," she snapped.
"No, it's fine, ma'am," gritted the patient, Chastity. "It's my stage name. I use it on most of my legal documents - makes it easier to pay the bills," she said. George continued to stare at his feet. "I'm a dancer. Exotic."
Bailey nodded and continued with her assessment. "We've gotten some test results back, and it looks like she's got a degenerated disc near her L5S1. Page Dr. Shepherd."
"Chastity LOOSELIPS? SERIOUSLY?" Meredith guffawed. Izzie laughed, waving a forkful of lettuce around.
"I know, right? You'd think she'd have chosen a better stage name than that." Meredith looked at Izzie, interestedly.
"Izzie...if you were to be a stripper, what would you pick for your name?" she asked, curiously. Izzie stared at her lettuce for a moment, thinking, before decisively closing her eyes and chomping the forkful.
"I have no..mmph..idea," she mumbled around the mouthful of greenery. Meredith sighed, and Izzie swallowed. "What about you?"
"No idea, either. I mean, you'd want something tasteful, but not too demure or anything...it's hard to think of something good, actually."
"Cobra," chimed in a voice that was neither Izzie's nor Meredith's.
Izzie and Meredith turned in their chairs, only to find Addison Montgomery-Shepherd looking at them with nothing but vast amounts of amusement in her eyes.
"A cobra's beautiful, but powerful, and deadly. The perfect stripper name."
Meredith made a thoughtful noise. "Hmm, that could work, actually."
Addison winked at them. "Have a good day, ladies."
As Addison walked away, Izzie stood up quickly. "I just remembered I have a patient I forgot to check on," she told Meredith. Meredith rolled her eyes.
"Izzie, I'm not even gonna ask what you're really doing. Seriously. That's not even an excuse anymore. The forgetting to check on a patient thing, you know? Everyone uses it, no one ever means it."
"Right, Mere. I'll see you later."
Five minutes later, Izzie had her back to the wall in the on call room, Addison holding her there firmly and attacking the soft curve between her neck and her shoulder. Izzie giggled softly, eliciting a Look and an arched eyebrow from Addison.
"Something funny, Stevens?" she queried in her best busting-interns voice as she backed away slightly. Izzie just dissolved into more giggles.
"Seriously, Addie?" she snickered. "Cobra as YOUR dance name? I don't see it. That's totally not a stripper name. That's like the worst stripper name ever. And Meredith totally bought it. WOW. You're good."
Addison looked at her, one eyebrow still arched skeptically, then pressed Izzie back against the wall. "Who says I was kidding?" she whispered into Izzie's ear, before nibbling on the blond girl's earlobe. Izzie shivered, then smiled.
"Fine, it's a good name." Addison bit down a little harder. "Ahhh...fine, it's a great dance name. It's obviously a great dance name for you. Hooray." Addison eased off Izzie's ear and grinned at the woman who clearly wanted her so badly.
"Ssss." she hissed comically, clawing the air. At this, Izzie could take it no more. She burst out laughing, and spun Addison, who had also dissolved into giggles, around. She pushed her to the lower bunk bed in the on-call room, and thrust one hand up under the light salmon-colored scrub top. Her fingertips brushed the curve of Addison's right breast, just as-
-her pager went off. One of her patients was coding. "SHIT," she swore. Addison kissed her gently on the cheek.
"It's all right, Izzie."
"Next time, this better not happen."
"Well next time, you have to call me by my dance name," Addison cracked. Izzie threw a pillow at her and fled the room, giggling.