Title: Parental Control

Author: quixotic-hope (harrysev)

Pairing: Harry/Severus

Rating: PG-13

Genres: Romance, fluff, humor

Warnings: AU

Spoilers: 1-5

Summary: Part 2 of the Game Show Series but can be read alone. Completely AU. When Harry Potter's parents don't like his boyfriend, they sign up for the dating show "Parental Control." Each parent gets to pick a date for Harry. Now the question remains, will Harry pick his boyfriend or one of his parents' choices? HPSS

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and Co. belong to the wonderfully talented JK Rowling. I mean no harm by using her characters in this story. The show "Parental Control" belongs to MTV and all those people. I am making no money whatsoever; I merely hope to entertain people.

Author's Note: I have my new job to thank for this fic's completion. I never would have finished it had I not spent six hours a day doing practically nothing. Expect more updates in the future. This is one of my least favorite stories I've written (down there with "Your Eyes"), but at least it's done, and this plot bunny can leave me alone.

And no, I have not abandoned "One Stupid Person." As a matter of fact, I have recently written the next three chapters and am in the process of writing the second to last one. My beta has chapters 9-11. I hope to get them up soon. Thanks for everyone's patience. It took my getting a job to break my writer's block. Funny, isn't it?

Oh, and I'd like to pre-apologize to anyone who likes zoos. You'll understand why when you read the fic.

Parental Control

Seventeen-year-old Harry Potter stared at his parents in shock. Never one to think about what he was going to say before he said it, Harry said the first thing that came to mind:

"Are you high?"

Having gotten used to such questions from their son, James and Lily Potter merely rolled their eyes and prepared for the anger that was sure to come.

"Now, Harry," said his mother patronizingly, "you know that you're very important to us."

Now it was Harry's turn to roll his eyes.

"If I were so important to you, you'd respect my decisions and allow me to date whomever I want!" argued Harry.

"We are allowing you to date whomever you want!" cried his father.

"Then what the hell is with this show?" demanded Harry, rising to his feet.

"Don't take that tone with me!" said James. "Look, you know that we've never really gotten along with Severus—"

"That's putting it mildly," muttered Harry, thinking about all the terrible things his parents, especially his father, had said about his boyfriend, Severus Snape. The two had been dating for about a year now, and Harry had thought (or rather, hoped) that his parents would eventually accept him.

Clearly, he was wrong.

"Look," said James impatiently. "We're not saying that you have to date someone else. All we want you to do is go on this TV show and meet other people. If you're positive that you'll still want Severus, why are you so afraid to go on the show? Are you afraid that you'll find someone better?"

"There is no one better than Severus!" exclaimed Harry vehemently, his father's dare grating on his nerves. "I'll go one your stupid show and prove to you that nothing can come between me and Severus!"

xxx

"Please tell me you did not just say what I think you said." Severus Snape stared at his lover in shock.

"It's true," said Harry in a defeated voice. "My parents have already signed me up. They need you on there, too."

"Why do I need to be there for you to go on a date?"

"It's part of the show. You watch with my parents while I go on two dates with the people they chose. Then at the end of the dates, I have to choose one of them or you. I mean, obviously I'm going to pick you," Harry added hastily, seeing the look on Severus's face. "But this way my parents can see how important you are to me that I'd pick you ever any guy that they'd choose." Seeing that Severus still wasn't giving in, Harry stuck out his bottom lip. "Please, Sev, do it for me."

Severus sighed. He knew that he should feel assured that Harry was sure he'd pick Severus, but Severus wasn't sure. Harry was a smart, funny, attractive young man. He had every reason to pick one of his parents' choices, thereby dumping Severus on national television. However, Severus could never deny Harry anything. Therefore, he leaned forward, kissed Harry's pouting lips, and said, "Okay."

xxx

Severus was regretting his decision when the time came to sit with Lily and James Potter before all the lights and cameras and microphones. Harry was sitting beside him, but he knew that his love would soon be off on a date with another man.

"Nervous, Severus?" sneered James.

"Not at all," lied Severus.

"Good, you shouldn't be," said Harry, leaning forward to kiss away the doubts he knew Severus had. "I love you," he whispered. Severus didn't respond, but Harry knew he was just afraid to declare his love on camera where everyone could hear.

There was a knock on the door. Lily jumped up and clapped her hands. "My pick's here!" she announced as she went to answer the door. She returned with a rather chubby young man with brown hair and rather large front teeth.

"Harry, this is Neville Longbottom," Lily introduced. "Neville, this is my son, Harry."

"Pleased to meet you," said Neville, shaking Harry's hand.

"So, where are you two going?" asked Lily excitedly.

"Well, you said that Harry likes animals, so I thought that I'd take him to the zoo," said Neville.

Severus fought not to laugh at the look on Harry's face.

"Sounds fun," lied Harry.

"I guess we should go," said Neville quietly.

"Yeah, we should," said Harry, who was torn between wanting the date to be over as soon as possible and not wanting to leave Severus alone with his parents. In the end, as soon as possible won out, and Harry found himself climbing into Neville's white Honda, driving toward the zoo.

xxx

"The zoo?" asked Severus as soon as Harry and Neville were gone. "Is he planning to date Harry or to baby-sit him?"

"Now, really Severus," scolded Lily. "Has it ever occurred to you that Harry might like to be taken somewhere different once in a while?"

"I'm sure he would," agreed Severus. "I just assumed that he would prefer to go someplace where the average visitor wasn't seven."

"You know, Severus, I think you've lost track of what this generation likes to do. Times have changed since you and I were kids," said James coldly.

Severus glared at James and tried not to flinch.

xxx

"So, Harry, what animal do you want to see first?"

Harry thought a moment. "Snakes."

Neville blanched. "Uh…sure."

xxx

"So, you told him that Harry likes animals, just not what kind of animals," smirked Severus. "Good job." Inside, Severus was happy. Harry couldn't possibly choose this loser over him.

"I must say, I don't understand why you picked this guy," said James, sneering at the image of Neville. "There were plenty of good-looking people to choose from."

"Neville is good looking," protested Lily, smacking James on the arm. "Besides, he's sweet. Harry deserves someone nice."

The last comment was clearly directed toward Severus, but he didn't say anything. He watched the rest of his love's date in silence.

xxx

"So, what did you think of the date?" asked Lily as soon as Harry returned.

"It was alright," said Harry, sitting down next to Severus. "He seemed nice, but he's not really my type."

Severus had to bite his lip to keep from gloating.

"Well, you still haven't met my date yet," said James.

"Should you really be declaring your infidelity in front of your wife and son?" asked Severus.

James gave a very forced this-is-so-not-funny laugh and rolled his eyes. Harry held Severus's hand.

There was a knock on the door.

"That'll be him," smiled James as he got up. "Severus, you might as well just leave now."

"Are they supposed to be this…this…" started Severus, whispering.

"Fake? Cheesy?" supplied Harry. "Yeah, unfortunately." After being told that he would be forced onto this ridiculous show, Harry had decided to watch a few episodes. Very few people stuck with their original partner. One girl didn't pick anybody. The one constant was that the parents always acted incredibly superficial.

"Harry, I'd like you to meet—"

"Draco Malfoy," Draco introduced himself, stepping forward to shake Harry's hand tightly.

"Draco, nice to meet you," said Harry, wiggling his fingers to make sure that they weren't broken.

"Where are you taking him?" asked Severus snidely, knowing immediately that Draco was a much bigger threat than Neville had been. "Disney Land?"

"Actually, James told me that Harry likes to play sports but you never want to," said Draco icily, "so I thought we'd head over to the park and play some games."

"You guys will have a great time," encouraged James, ignoring the death glare that his son was giving him.

Harry got up and followed Draco to the door, but not before giving Severus one more kiss.

xxx

"So, what do you want to do?" asked Harry when they got to the park.

"I thought we'd play a little basketball," said Draco. "First one to twenty-one wins!"

xxx

"I would've thought that he'd be too afraid to mess up his hair to play basketball," said Severus.

"Some people simply like to look nice," said James, "not that I'd expect you to understand."

"There's a difference between looking nice and looking conceited," said Severus. Then he added, "Not that I'd expect you to understand."

xxx

Half an hour later, Harry and Draco collapsed on some park benches.

"So," smiled Draco. "Do I get a kiss for winning?"

"Um…I don't kiss on the first date," lied Harry. Back at the Potter household, Severus fought back a smile, remembering their first date.

Draco wasn't deterred.

"I brought us some lunch," he said, indicating the picnic basket beside them.

"Good, I'm hungry," said Harry, eager to get off the subject of kissing.

"Want a strawberry?" asked Draco, holding the fruit up to Harry's lips.

"Uh…sure, thanks," said Harry, biting the strawberry and making sure to stay far away from Draco's fingers.

xxx

"What the hell does he think he's doing?" demanded Severus, furious with Draco's forward behavior.

"Jealous?" taunted James.

"I was going to use the word 'irate,' actually," snapped Severus.

"Maybe you should do something romantic like that," suggested Lily in a triumphant tone.

"It's not romantic when it's clearly making Harry uncomfortable," snapped Severus. Lily and James ignored him.

xxx

"So, Harry," said Draco while they were eating. "Why don't your parents like Severus?"

"They think he's too old for me," said Harry. "And I guess they think I can do better."

"It might not be my place to say," said Draco in a voice that said very clearly that he knew it wasn't his place but he was going to say it anyway, "but I agree with your parents."

"That's nice," said Harry simply. "I don't."

"You don't think that you can do better?" asked Draco in disbelief.

"There is no one better than Severus," said Harry firmly, unknowingly causing Severus's heart to soar.

"Want to bet?" asked Draco slyly, leaning forward. "I can make you feel things no one else ever has." And with that, Draco leaned forward the last few inches and kissed Harry. Draco then "accidentally" kicked the camera over, causing Severus, Lily, and James to lose the video.

xxx

"That bastard!" declared Severus, jumping to his feet and staring at the now blank screen with a mixture of disbelief and outrage. Lily was also a little pissed off.

James, on the other hand, just leaned back and smirked.

"You just lost your chance, pal," he said. "Harry might like your personality better, but there's no way he'd prefer sex with you over sex with Draco. He's much better looking than you," James continued, oblivious to the incredulous look his wife was giving him. "I'm sure that Harry will have a much better time with Draco."

"Did we do this to find our son a more caring boyfriend, or did we do this to find our son a fuck buddy?" demanded Lily.

"I thought we could find him one of each," said James defensively. "I thought that was why you picked that Longbottom boy."

Severus stopped listening to Lily and James' argument, replaying James' words in his head. Draco probably would be a lot better in bed that he was. Would that matter to Harry?

Of course that will matter to Harry, thought Severus. He's a seventeen-year-old guy. Despite all of Harry's assurances in person and on camera, Severus knew that now that Harry was alone with Draco, Harry was sure to change his mind.

xxx

Back at the park, Harry pushed Draco off him, sending Draco flying to the ground.

"What the fuck?" demanded Draco.

"I told you no!" said Harry, equally as angry.

"Oh, come on," said Draco exasperatedly. "You can't seriously choose that old man over me."

"That 'old man' is the love of my life!" retorted Harry.

xxx

"So, how was the date?" asked James triumphantly when Harry in.

"I don't want to talk about it," said Harry, not daring to meet Severus's eyes after having kissed Draco, even if he hadn't wanted to. Severus didn't speak to him, either, so Harry assumed that he was mad about the kiss.

"Okay," said James, standing up. "It's time for you to pick a date."

Neville and Draco stepped back inside and stood against the wall. The floor director had Severus get up and go stand next to Draco. Then Harry stood up and faced the three of them. He already knew who he was going to pick, of course, but the director picked the order for him.

"Neville, we had a lot of fun at the zoo. Seeing all the different animals was very entertaining."

"Thanks, Harry," said Neville. "I had fun, too."

"Draco," said Harry in a stiff voice, "our day at the park was…interesting." Harry wasn't able to say anything more positive than that. Then he turned to Severus. "And Sev, you know that we've always had a great time everywhere we go."

Severus nodded.

"Neville." said Harry, "I think you're a really nice guy and all, but you're not the type of person I like to date. I'm sorry."

"That's okay," said Neville in an understanding tone. "It was great meeting you."

Neville walked out of the room, and then there were two. Harry wished he could go ahead and declare his choice, but the people running the show insisted that he add to the suspense.

"Severus, sometimes you can be possessive and a little bit insecure," Harry started, hating himself when he saw Severus stand up straighter, mentally preparing himself to be rejected, "but that's what I love about you. I love that you love me enough to not want any one else touching me, and yet you still basically trust me.

"A little bit of insecurity also prevents you from becoming a completely arrogant ass," continued Harry, giving Draco a very pointed look. "When I say I don't want to do something, you listen to me, unlike everyone else in this room. That's why I pick you, Severus."

"Piss off, Potter," spat Draco as he stormed out of the room.

Lily and James looked disappointed, but they had to keep their end of the deal. Harry had gone on two different dates, and he still liked Severus the best. Maybe there was another TV show they could sign him up for…Lily and James were still scheming when they walked out of the room, leaving Harry and Severus alone.

Severus was shocked that Harry had picked him. All that time he had been waiting for Harry to reject him. Instead, Harry wrapped his arms around Severus, leaning in to kiss him.

"I love you," said Harry.

"I love you, too," returned Severus. "I was sure you were going to pick Draco."

Harry made a face. "He was too arrogant. I told him I didn't want to kiss him, but he kissed me anyway. I knew that you'd have listened to me."

"I always listen, brat," smiled Severus.

"I know." Harry smiled back. "Come on, let's go do something fun."

"I know a guy who can get us into the zoo for half price."

Harry's laughter could be heard throughout the house.

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