A/N: I'd just like to say that there's a part in Chapter 9 where there are no spaces in between some of the words. I didn't mean to do that. I don't know how it ended up that way. Anyway. Here it is. Chapter 10 turned out to be the last chapter, after all. :)

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Chapter 10: One Last Job

"What?" Demanded the irritated Beldam, glaring at the X-Naut who was addressing her.

"Yeah, that's right," Lord Crump responded knowingly. "I would've liked to tell you that Doopliss was an honest employee, but I couldn't keep this knowledge from you. I find that telling the truth is the right thing to do, you know-"

"Can it." Beldam snapped irately. "You don't have a caring bone in your body, Mr. 'I'm going to take over the world with Grodus and a mindless army of evil, poorly-trained soldier.'"

"Hey!" Lord Crump began defensively "I do take offense! Those soldiers were at least mediocre!"

Beldam had finally come to Poshley Heights, but she had made Vivian and Marilyn stay home. Vivian, because Crump would follow them around all day if she came. Marilyn, because she was stupid. So now, Lord Crump had cornered her instead and was claiming that he was about to describe in full detail all the nasty things that Doopliss had said about her. She glared at the X-Naut. "So what exactly did that idiot say about me? All you've said so far is that he's not an honest employee. And I knew that from the moment I hired him."

Crump scoffed. "Yeah, well, did you know that he said you were an old hag? I bet not! It's terrible when one's supposed friends go down the road of talking behind one's back-"

Beldam crossed her arms. "Freak-in-a-Sheet called me an 'old hag?' No surprise there. Unless you know of something really dire that he did, I really don't have time for this." The Shadow Siren was willing to wait out Lord Crump's obviously false claims, as she was ready to take any excuse she could find to fire Doopliss.

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Fawful stared at the list that Beldam had given him, scrutinizing it. "We are only having to be getting the three items?"

"Looks that way, doesn't it, Slick?" responded Doopliss. They had finally arrived back in Rogueport, and were now making sure that they hadn't forgotten anything.

"The Sirens of Shadow will be having the firing of us if we are having the forgetting of even one item," Fawful stated, still staring at the list.

"There are only three things written there," Doopliss began, "and I doubt that's gonna change any time soon." He grabbed the list away from Fawful and stuck it wherever he had placed the Coconut, the Fresh Pasta, and the Mystic Egg.

Something had been bothering Fawful for quite awhile, now. "Where are you having the placing of the items which we are having the obtainingness of?"

Doopliss made a gesture as if to wave away this comment. "That's not the point, now is it? Listen, Slick. We need to get this stuff back to 'ol Beldy before she blows a gasket. We don't have time to be sitting here and asking questions that are irrevelevant to our currrent situation, now do we?"

Fawful didn't say anything at first, but then he began heading for the pipe, saying "I am not wanting to be having the touchingness of the items that we are having obtainingness of if you are having the placing of them in places which are not seeing the light."

"Then you might not wanna touch our items, eh?" The duplighost said, following Fawful over to the pipe.

"No," Fawful replied as he went down the pipe, "I am hoping that the Sirens of Shadow are not knowing that you are having the puttingness of their things in places that are having the innapropriateness."

Surprisingly, the "famous" Doopliss didn't have anything to say to this. Instead, he followed Fawful into the pipe with a visibly irritated expression.

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Lord Crump had finally done it. It had taken an amazing amount of effort on his part, but he had done it. He had finally convinced Beldam of Doopliss' inability to continue to be her employee. The Shadow Siren had been about to leave when the X-Naut shouted out desperately, "You know that that chump's been stealin' your coins, right?"

Beldam turned back to Lord Crump and fixed him with a penetrating gaze that he found somewhat nerve-wracking. "Really? Now this is where your claims start to get interesting. Do you have any proof that Freak-in-a-Sheet has been stealing my money?"

Lord Crump fidgeted for a few seconds, obviously trying to come up with something. He then said, "Oh, you know how that guy is. He bragged all day about how he had outsmarted you-that 'senile old hag-' as he put it. Couldn't stop talkin' about how he'd gotten so much money out of the deal, and how you probably wouldn't even notice. Buh huh! Show's what he knows, right?"

The Shadow Siren now sounded very interested in what the X-Naut had to say. She didn't know if she could believe him, but she could imagine Doopliss having enough guts to steal from her. Or at least, she could imagine him being stupid enough to steal from her. As an added bonus, she would get to fire him for these claims, whether they were false or not. She would simply tell Doopliss that she had solid proof, and no argument could withstand her mighty powers. Beldam addressed Lord Crump. "Yes. It does show what he knows. It shows that he knows nothing of my intuition in situations like this. Am I right?"

Lord Crump nodded agreeably, thinking that it was probably best not to argue with whatever Beldam had to say. "Uh...yes, sir. Er, ma'am."

"Now go." Beldam demanded. "I don't want to see you here ever again."

Lord Crump protested. "But Poshley Heights is a public place!"

"I don't care," snapped the Shadow Siren. "I don't want you around, especially since you're bound to start stalking Vivian again. Honestly, I don't know what you see in her! She's such an ugly thing!"

Lord Crump didn't say anything. Instead, he began to walk dejectedly away, heading towards the pipe that would lead to Rogueport. However, he was now-mostly-just feigning dejection. He had a great and wonderful plan that he was going to attempt directly after getting out of Poshley Heights. His plan included following Beldam to her house-out of sight-so that he could finally find out where Vivian lived. Overall, the plan was rather creepy and stalker-ish.

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When Fawful and Doopliss got back to Beldam's house, she was in an apparent rage. However, they both noted that there was some hint of sadistic glee under all of that anger. "You've finally done it!" She screeched to Doopliss, who was looking as though he wanted to curl up in a corner and die. "You've proved to me that you're not fit to be an employee of mine!" She suddenly whirled around to face Fawful, who cringed visibly. "And you! You're better than him-" she pointed to Doopliss "-but you're still not to be trusted!"

Doopliss lifted his "hands" in a peacemaking gesture. "Whoa there now, Beldy! What's got your knickers in a twist, eh?"

"I was informed from an extremely reliable source," growled Beldam, "that you were stealing coins from me! Now what am I to make of that?"

Fawful suddenly spoke up. "I am not having the stealing of the coins from you! Am I still being fired?"

The Shadow Siren gave Fawful something that is known in some circles as a "death glare." She was, however, very glad that the day had come when she could sack these two idiots. "You hung around with that Freak-in-a-Sheet! That means that he directly influenced you! You can't be trusted because you're his little minion or something!"

"I am not being the minion of the Freak-of-Sheet!" protested Fawful adamantly. "I am being the minion of the great 'Cackletta,' who is not being this freak who is wearing this sheet! Cackletta is saying that I am being her most loyal-"

"Right." Beldam snapped, annoyed. "I don't care whose minion you are. You're both fired. Have a nice day." At that, the relieved Shadow Siren waved both bewildered ex-employees out the door, and then slammed it behind them.

A few minutes later, both Fawful and Doopliss were sitting on the dock near Rogueport, unemployed as ever.

Fawful was now beginning to wonder whether or not the duplighost was the best choice of a traveling partner. After all, he had gotten them both fired. The Beanbean resident addressed Doopliss. "Are you having the bringing down of me?"

Doopliss stared. "Am I bringing you down? Is that what yer askin' me, Slick?" The duplighost began talking to Fawful as if he were a little kid who needed to be taught the lessons of life. "No. I'm inclined to believe that it's the other way around. You see, from where I'm standing, you are the one bringing me down."

"Maybe you are needing to be having the standing from a different angle," Fawful stated bluntly.

The duplighost glared at him. "Quit tryin' to stand up for yerself, Slick. It ain't gonna work. You're the one who got me fired. I didn't know it was possible, but that old hag must have mistook me for you when she started yelling about stealing money." He paused for a second and then muttered, "although the more I think about it, the more unlikely it becomes. After all, I have dashing good looks, and you-" Doopliss looked at Fawful, "-Well, you speak for youself."

Fawful stood up suddenly. "I am having the looking for the new jobness. Are you having the coming with me?"

Doopliss snickered, but got up anyway. "Yeah. I guess I'll have to come with you, eh Slick? I don't need you, but when searching for a job...let's just say that I'll look good compared to you. You know, when we talk to any possible employers."

Fawful began walking towards the main square in Rogeuport, talking to Doopliss as he went. "I am being called 'Fawful.' The nameness of which I have is not being 'Slick.' The name of 'Slick' is being a name that you are having the calling me of because you are not remembering that I am not being called that."

"Actually," replied Doopliss happily, "I sometimes call you weird-talking guy. That's reserved only for you, ya know? I call anyone who I'm at least slightly aggravated by "Slick," but yer the only one who gets that other nickname. You should feel special!" The duplighost suddenly brushed past Fawful and bolted into the main square of Rogueport. He then began to fish around in a nearby traschan, muttering excitedly.

Fawful stared. "Why are you doing the divingness of dumpster?"

"I'm not 'dumpster diving,' Slick." Doopliss replied. He suddenly made a triumphant sound and pulled out a newspaper. "Ah-ha! Eureka!" The duplighost shoved the newspaper in Fawful's face and waved it around. "Do you know what this is? So? Do ya?"

Fawful pushed away the discarded paper. "It is being a paper of news?"

"Yep!" responded Doopliss joyfully, "and guess what? We can look at the job listings in this thing!" Mumbling under his breath, he said, "there's gotta be at least one thing in here that either one of us are decent at..." Doopliss stared at the paper, opened it, looked at it for a few seconds, and then, "Here we go!" The duplighost looked like he had died and gone to heaven. "There's an add in here about a job that pays 100 coins per hour." Doopliss' eyes suddenly got huge. "And they're Beanbean coins, too!" He suddenly looked over the paper at Fawful. "You look like you might be from the Beanbean Kingdom." The duplighost tilted his head. "Yeah, you've got that...greenish...tint going on. So what's the Mushroom Kingdom-to-Beanbean Kingdom coin exchange rate, again?"

Fawful shrugged. "I am not knowing. When I was having the escaping to the Kingdom of Mushroom, I was not having the money."

Doopliss looked at Fawful suspiciously. "If you were planning on coming here, why wouldn't you bring any money?"

"It was being a thing that was having much 'spur of the moment.' I was not knowing that I was going to be having to do the much runningness from the guards of the border," Fawful responded.

Doopliss looked just a bit stunned at this statement. "...You had to run from the border guards? Why? What did you do?"

Fawful wondered vaguely why the duplighost found this so interesting. "I am having to do the runningness because they are having a chomp of chain which is being rabid, and which is escaping. I am not wanting to be getting attacked by the chomp of chain."

"They had a rabid chain chomp, then?" Doopliss began looking at the paper again. "Ah, whatever." He suddenly looked completely and utterly irritated. "What? For this job offer, we'd have to travel all the way to the Beanbean Kingdom! What kind of rip-off scam-type-thing is that?" Doopliss shoved the paper in Fawful's face once again. "Okay, bean. Since you obviously spent most of your days in that weirdo Beanbean Kingdom, tell me where we can find this address!"

Fawful snatched the paper away from Doopliss and looked at the add. After a few seconds of staring, his expression became one of shock. "I am knowing where this address is being! It is-"

"Good!" Declared Doopliss, interrupting Fawful from whatever supposedly important thing he had to say. "Then you can show us which way to go, can't you?" The duplighost became lost in thought. "Since I don't have any money for passports, I suppose we'll have to find some way to sneak into the Beanbean Kingdom, eh Slick?"

"I am wondering why there is being an add for the Kingdom of Beanbean in a paper of news that is being for the Kingdom of Mushroom," Fawful mumbled.

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Lord Crump had found the house that Vivian lived in (after unsuccessfully trying to enter the pipe that led to Twilight Town, he had finally remembered seeing Beldam's name written on her hat). The X-Naut was now very ecstatic as he stood by the door; he was prepared to knock and then to sweep the fair Vivian off her non-existant feet. Slowly, he knocked on the door.

Vivian answered. Her eyes went wide. She tried to slam the door, but not before Crump had blocked it with his foot.

"Hey, bay-bee!"

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Fawful and Doopliss wandered for what seemed to them like days. In fact, it was days. The border between the Beanbean and Mushroom kingdoms had actually been quite far from the location that they had been in. Needless to say, they had soon run out of the little funds that they had.

"How long now?" Doopliss groaned, dragging his feet as he walked.

"It is not being much longer," Fawful insisted. "Are you having too much weakness to be continuing to walk?"

"No!" Snapped the Duplighost, "I just happen to be sick of walking. I could do it for three weeks straight, if I really wanted to!"

Fawful nodded, not believing Doopliss in the least. "Well, you who are pretending to not be having the tiredness will be having the much gladness to know that we are being here. I am wanting to be using this opportunity to be telling you of the address which is being-"

"We're here?" Doopliss demanded in surprise, disregarding Fawful. He stared in front of him, just to see the door to the border-crossing room. "I gotta admit, Slick. Ya did better than I thought ya could. How'd ya know how to get here?"

"I am making the journey of much trials from this room of borders to the place where I am finding you, and I am remembering the way in which I was going," Fawful pushed opened the door to the border room, gesturing for Doopliss to follow him.

The same two Hammer Bros from before burst suddenly into their line of vision. Fawful just stood there, but Doopliss jumped back.

"You didn't have a passport!" The red guard informed Fawful angrily. "Just what are we going to do about that?"

The green guard nudged him. "We can have him arrested, you know. We should've sent someone out to look for him a long time ago." He glared. "Why didn't you send for anyone, huh?"

The other hammer bro looked devastated by this statement. "Me? Excuse me, but you're the one who should have sent for someone to go and catch that illegal immigrant!"

"Why is this my fault?" Demanded the green guard. "You blaim me for everything!"

"I don't blaim you for everything, you blaim me for everything-"

Fawful and Doopliss looked at each other, each wondering if they were thinking the same thing. When both began heading towards the door that would lead to the Beanbean Kingdom, they realized that they were.

When they got out of the border crossing room, Doopliss laughed. "That was so easy! Could this whole 'illegal immigrant' bit get any easier?"

"It is not being so easy for a length of time that is much longer than this," Fawful declared as if they had just entered an enemy mine field. "We will have to be going to the address which is being in the paper of news." He suddenly turned to look at Doopliss. "But you are not knowing who was writing the add, because you are not letting me finish the telling of you."

The duplighost seemed to wave this comment away. "You gotthat right, Slick. I don't wanna hear what you got to say, 'cause it'll probably just be about 'mustard, fink-rats, and snack cakes.'" He gave Fawful a strange look. "Why is it always 'mustard, fink-rats, and snack cakes' with you?"

"I am not telling you about the fink-rats of red and green during the time of now, and I am also not telling you of the world being Cackletta's snack cake. The mustard of which I was talking is not having the importantness unless I am having the bringing up of it by myself." Fawful kept walking, seeming to acutally know where he was going. "I am saying that we may be having the wasting of time if we are going to this address-"

"I have to admit that the job description is a little on the nutty side," Doopliss said, examining the paper, "I mean, who would request an 'evil minion with superior knowledge in weapons design?'"

Fawful glowered. "Are you having the knowledge or superiorness in the area which is being the designing of weapons?"

Doopliss tossed the paper aside. "No! We're gonna wing it!"

"We are not going to be having the winging of it," Fawful replied, sounding annoyed. "You are going to be having the winging of it. I am knowing how to be designing the weapons of much greatness!"

Doopliss burst out laughing. "You? You're saying that you're some kind of...technological genius?" The duplighost looked at Fawful, and then burst out laughing again. "Yeah, yeah. I needed that, Slick. Tell me another one, okay?"

"We are being here," Fawful stated simply, still sounding irritated.

Doopliss looked in awe at the large, stone fortress-like thing that was now in front of him. He whistled. "Well, let's go meet our new employer."

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"Why won't you just consider hookin' up with me for awhile?" Lord Crump demanded adamantly.

Vivian made a face that seemed to suggest that she found Crump quite repulsive. "You're not really my type, if you know what I mean. And, you know, I don't appreciate the fact that you've been following me around for the past three days! It's creepy!"

The X-Naut proceeded to act like it was the end of the world. "Well, I wouldn't hafta follow you around if you'd just consider doin' something with me! Come on...I promise I'll show you a good time..."

This statement, for some reason, caused Vivian to become extremely disturbed. "Well, I'm sorry Mr...Crump, was it? Yes. The megalomaniacal, power-hungry look doesn't really do it for me."

The X-Naut laughed. "Buh huh! You're mistaken, missy. Grodus is the megalomaniacal one. I'm just power-hungry!"

The Shadow Siren sighed disgustedly. If she didn't get a restraining order soon, her life was going to become a very painful thing.

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Fawful knocked on the door, fearing the moment when it would open. Doopliss, however, looked excited and not at all bothered. Of course, Doopliss didn't know about their employer. The door swung open, just to reveal-

"Cackletta!" Fawful shrieked, forgetting that she had ever been angry at him. "I have been needing to be seeing you again! Fawful, your underling of loyalness, has returned to be continuing to do your services!"

Cackletta stared, momentarily distracted by Doopliss. "And just who might that be, Fawful?"

Doopliss gave Cackletta a questioning look. "Hey, aren't you that witch who tried to take over the Beanbean Kingdom, and like-you know-the world and stuff?" The duplighost suddenly whirled to face Fawful. "You actually worked for her? Wow, Slick! This whole time I thought you were making stuff up just to give purpose to your pathetic life!"

Fawful glared, and Cackletta no longer seemed interested in Doopliss. She turned back to her underling. "Why did you come back?"

Fawful gave his mistress a pathetic, pained look despite his glasses. "I am being sorry that I am spending your money! I am wanting to be coming back to be making more machines of much greatness for you, as you are being the great Cackletta!"

"Yes, I think I knew that already." Cackletta stated bluntly. She surveyed Fawful for a few seconds, and then said, "Eh. What the heck. You can come back." She didn't want to say it, but Cackletta had realized in the time that Fawful was gone that she really needed him there to help with her evil plots.

"Fawful is thanking you!" Shrieked the ecstatic Fawful. "I am always being the best underling which you are having! I am not making any more mistakes of great stupidness which are affecting you and which are making you having the anger towards me!" At that point, Fawful attempted to hug Cackletta.

Cackletta, however, drew the line there. "Don't push your luck, Fawful. And I hope you realize that your salary will not be 100 coins."

Doopliss watched this whole spectacle, rather wishing he were dead.

As the door to the fortress slowly closed, Fawful waved goodbye to Doopliss. "I am thanking you for all of the helpness for which you are giving me, even if you were just helping me to be getting the job because you were wanting one yourself. I am now saying goodbye!"

The door closed.

Doopliss glared.

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In the next few months, many things happened.

Cackletta was able to sell all of her free smoothie makers over the internet, even if it was illegal.

Fawful continued to help Cackletta with her evil plots by building advanced weaponry, and continued to help her fail by being incompetent on some occasions.

Lord Crump continued to stalk Vivian until Beldam agreed to give Doopliss the job of keeping him away from their house.

And so it went.

End

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A/N: I'm finally done! Yay! One last time, I'd like to thank EVERYONE who reviewed and faved. I really appreciate that you took your time to do that.