Disclaimer: Kingdom Hearts and all related characters are property of Square Enix. I claim no ownership to them.

Warning(s): implied Marluxia x Axel x Larxene, crack, Larxene PMSing

Note(s): Just note that all of Larxene's lines are from real life. This is exactly how I act during "that time." ;D

Red Sky at Dawn
By Oblivion Sky

There were times in Axel's existence when he thought that things couldn't get worse. That things were already so fucked up that there was just nothing else to fuck up. And considering that one of his lovers was a woman, those times occurred at least once a month.

Now was one of those times.

"YOU TWO ARE SUCH ASSHOLES."

The redhead groaned, hiding his head under a pillow. Marluxia was already cowering on the other side of the room, curled up in the fetal position. And Larxene stood in the middle of their shared bedroom in Castle Oblivion, hands on her hips and screaming like a banshee.

"I ASK YOU TO GET ME SOME CHEETOS, AND WHAT DO YOU SAY? NO. I HAVE CRAVINGS, YOU BASTARDS."

"So do I," muttered Axel under his breath. "Like to get out of here before she murders us."

"I HAVE GOBS AND GOBS OF BLOOD AND MENSTRUAL FLUID RUSHING OUT OF ME."

Marluxia let out an undignified squeal of disgust from where he was curled up. "Larxene! Spare us the details! That's so gross!"

The blonde woman immediately rounded on him, shrieking reaching a new volume. "YOU JACKASS! MY LIFE-FORCE IS GUSHING OUT OF MY VAGINA, AND YOU DON'T SYMPATHIZE AT ALL!"

Marluxia squealed again and dove under the bed, wailing as she tried to shock him. Axel quickly realized that the safest thing to do would be to stay as quiet as possible.

"IT'S LIKE A RED AND BROWN WATERFALL FLOWING DOWN BETWEEN MY LEGS!"

That plan failed with that particular outburst, a sickened sound escaping Axel, followed by a watery hiccup. He hurriedly clamped a hand over his mouth, already feeling the bile rising.

"MY UTERUS IS CRAMPING UP."

Around his hand, Axel managed to loudly say, "I wish you would cramp up."

Marluxia burst into a fit of giggles from his hiding place under the bed while Larxene froze, rounding on him with the promise of death flashing through her eyes like lightning. Axel gulped audibly, staying absolutely still before making a frantic lunge under the bed, though he was swiftly pursued by Larxene. Not a minute later, his and Marluxia's pained squeaks and wails filled the air, coupled with the crackling of electricity.

"No, Larxene, don't touch me! I'll catch your period!"

"GOOD. YOU DESERVE IT."

- fin.