Note: Don't own Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, lala, lala, lala.
Set after HBP (without the whole, they leave to find Horcrux… thingy that they said they'd do.). This is a dance in 7th year, based off my past semi-formal dance. Ron will be portraying me, Hermione portraying the girl this is about.
The song is "Unfaithful" by Rhianna. Why? Because that's obviously the song we danced to, duh! However, this won't be a songfic because I really don't feel like putting the lyrics on here. Too much time and effort and I really just wanna get this over with.
Anyway, enjoy:
I wait almost impatiently for her to show up. I'm scared out of my freaking wits.
Why? I really don't know. I mean, she's just my friend, right? After everything that's happened between us, we're finally on that familiar basis of just being good friends. Even after I screwed things up to all sorts of hell, did a couple of things that I considered unforgivable, she still managed to forgive me.
Because that's just how she is. No matter what, she forgives. Some say it's good, some say it's bad… me? I dunno. It's great and all, but… I don't really know if I deserve to be forgiven. What I did, all of it, was pretty bad.
Suddenly, I see her. Walking through the door, laughing a little, carrying that rose that her mother had sent her two days ago. She turns to me and I see her hair is in a bun…
Bloody goddam motherfreakin' hell.
She looks beautiful.
I try to steady myself. She's just your friend, I tell myself, remember? You promised yourself that you wouldn't go back down that road. So just go talk to her, all normal, there you go.
But the closer I get, the more that old heavy breathing and heart pounding in my ears thing gets as bad as it did before. Nevertheless, we make our hellos quick and then just stand there for a little while.
"You look amazing tonight," I say.
Why? Hell if I know. It just escaped, but she didn't seem too mad. She just laughs- not a, yeah, right, laugh- and thanks me for the compliment. My spirits soared, but I attempted to kick them anyway. Just friends. I keep telling myself that.
The first hour of the dance goes off without a hitch. We're all having fun. Completely ignoring all the trials we've gone through or have yet to go through. And yet, I'm nervous.
Ok, if you wanna go that far, I'm scared pissless.
I'm awaiting that first slow dance. Well, awaiting and at the same time, praying it won't come. I got mixed feelings. I'm scared stiff; still don't know why, but at the same time, I'm anxious to do this. I never got the dance last time. I'm hoping that this time might be a little better.
The first hour just ended. And nothing. I don't really know how to feel about that. Maybe there wouldn't be any until the end. I could breathe easier if that was the-
The DJ pipes up with, "Alright, after this next song, we're gonna do one for all the couples out there."
Aw crap.
My heart starts pounding like a drummer in a rock band doing a solo. This is it. One road only. Question is, will I take it?
Before I know it, the next song is over and the slow song starts up- a semi-rap one, believe it or not, didn't think rap could be a slow song. I've heard this song- it's always playing on that "radio" thing Dad's got in the house. I can't really say I like the song, but I don't really despise it either.
It's playing now, and she's standing right there, pondering what the hell kind of tune this is. All I say is it's some sort of rap-tune thingy, and she cocks an eyebrow. I just shrug.Our friends are all either out with each other on the dance floor or talking about the song. She's with them in a group. Crap, how the hell am I gonna do this?
She pulls away from them. I look up for a second to see if I'm standing under some sort of light beam from Heaven but when no such thing appears, I just shrug and walk over to her. She's twirling around. I can't tell if it's from the song or just because she wants to, but a huge pang just went off in my chest.
I shrug it off for her. Hey, they don't call me "Slick" for nothing. I call her name- adding "dear friend" afterwards, to keep it casual- but when she turns around, that smile on her face that I melt at for reasons unknown, I get that old feeling that I'm watching events transpire outside of my own body.
Cool as hell, 'cause that's what I'm famous for, I hold out my hand to her.
"May I have this dance?" I ask.
Ugh. Really corny. But it seems to be alright, because she says yes and puts her hand in mine. And I feel a hell of a lot better.
We step out onto the floor. She puts her hands on my shoulders- and I feel everything in me kinda freeze up. But that's nothing compared to how I am mere seconds later, when my hands are on her waist. Outside, everything's functioning normally. Inside, it feels like that scene in Titanic when the ship hit the iceberg and the boiler room got flooded.
Nevertheless, I still keep it cool.
"You're gonna need to help me out with this," I say casually, "'cause I have no idea what the hell I'm doing."
She laughs as we start dancing. "It's alright," she says, "Believe it or not, I have danced with guys before."
Old memories swarm around in my mind and I gulp.
"Oh yes, trust me, I'm well aware of that," I say, a little bit softer than before, but still with my emotions in check.
We dance for a couple of seconds. Then, out of nowhere, she says:
"I'm sorry about last year."
Here is where everything in me just shatters- including, above all else, my heart. Here, after everything that's happened between us, she's the one apologizing? Why? She has no need to apologize! The fact that she's apologizing for my mistakes kills me.
My mind is screaming, NO! Don't you say you're sorry! Don't think for one single millisecond that all that was your fault! It was me! I was the one who became jackass's definition! You look it up in the dictionary, you'd see my name! I'm the one who's sorry! It was all my fault, I was just jealous! Jealous of the fact that he was with you and I wasn't.
But because it's me, I don't say all of that. Just the appropriate ones.
"No," I say to her, "that was me. I…" I pause, look away for a second, then back to her, "I don't know where my mind was."
She just stares down for a second, then back up at me. I don't take my eyes off of her.
"Well," she says, "at least we've both moved on."
I smile. "Yeah," I say, "we have."
Have you? My brain asks me, you don't seem to be feeling like you're over her. A part of you still wishes you were dancing with her like a girlfriend instead of a friend.
But I shrug the little voice away mentally. It doesn't matter now. We're just friends.
It will later when you think about it.
Piss. Off. Now.
"So," her voice again snaps me out of my reveille, "are you having a better time this time?"
I grin at her. "Yeah," I say, "I am now."
We talk about this and that, just little things. Her, in my arms, was something I never thought I'd feel. It feels like I'm floating on clouds or some damn thing. Inside, I'm cheering. A morale victory. I finally got my dance, the one I always wanted with her. I'm wishing it will never end.
But it does end. And when it does, we part ways for a little bit, then we're back in our group, enjoying life.
Later, when I was out taking a break in the hallway, I'm thinking about everything. She's dating some new guy; he had heard all about that, months ago. But now, I'm feeling empty, even sad. She's with him now, not me. And I'm once again depressed, how I've once again lost her. It's all hitting me at once.
I told you so.
Didn't I tell you to piss off?
Before I know it, it's over. I'm still in the hallway, thinking things through, when suddenly she's there, almost as if she was looking for me. I look up at her.
"Hey," I greet her, putting the ole' grin back on, "how come you're out here?"
Before she could answer, some of the girls come out. She was getting ready to leave. My spirits lower. I thought she wanted a talk. She looked like she wanted to, but then again, it was probably my imagination.
He works a lot when he's not wanted, you notice?
As she's walking away, I say good-night to her.
"Hey," I call. She turns her head to me, "thanks for the dance."
She smiles at me.
"Anytime," she says.
And in a blink of an eye, she's gone.
And I've never felt so lonely. The dance was over. And I had once again let her go.
She's just your friend, the voice from the beginning of the dance told me, your friend. You swore you wouldn't go down that path a second time. She's moved on. You are friends.
But this time, for some strange reason, the thought isn't as comforting as it was three hours ago.
I can pretty much guarantee that all of that happened to me.
It's kinda scary how Ron's love life and mine kinda compare. I was able to intertwine them, so that they were one and the same.
Though what I did was a lot worse than what he did. But what it was, you'll never know.
Anyway, review if you want. It's a oneshot, so don't expect a sequel or a second chapter.
Later.